“TWO CHICKENS TO
PARALYZE”
What’s a mondegreen? A woefully misheard or misunderstood phrase… or song lyric. Here are some of the funniest ones we’ve collected.
Song: “Mama Said,” by the Shirelles
Actual lyric: “There’ll be days like this, my mama said”
Misheard as: “There’ll be days like this, my marmoset”
Song: “Hit Me With Your Best Shot,” by Pat Benatar
Actual lyric: “Hit me with your best shot”
Misheard as: “Hit me with your pet shark”
Song: “Another Brick in the Wall,” by Pink Floyd
Actual lyric: “No dark sarcasm in the classroom”
Misheard as: “No Dukes of Hazzard in the classroom”
Song: “I Just Want to Celebrate,” by Rare Earth
Actual lyric: “I just want to celebrate”
Misheard as: “I just wanna salivate”
Song: “Like I Love You,” by Justin Timberlake
Actual lyric: “You’re a good girl, and that’s what makes me trust you”
Misheard as: “You’re a good girl, and that’s what makes me Justin”
Song: “Blank Space,” by Taylor Swift
Actual lyric: “Got a long list of ex-lovers”
Misheard as: “Got along with Starbucks lovers”
Song: “Rock You Like a Hurricane,” by Scorpions
Actual lyric: “Here I am, rock you like a hurricane”
Misheard as: “Here I am, rock you like I’m Herman Cain”
Song: “Pet Sematary,” by the Ramones
Actual lyric: “I don’t wanna be buried in a pet sematary”
Misheard as: “I don’t wanna meet Barry in a pet cemetery”
Song: “Bizarre Love Triangle,” by New Order
Actual lyric: “I feel a shot right through like a bolt of blue”
Misheard as: “I feel a shot right through like a butt of poo”
Song: “Mercy,” by Duffy
Actual lyric: “You got me begging you for mercy”
Misheard as: “You got me begging you for birdseed”
A seabird called an arctic tern can live up to 34 years. In that time, it can travel up to 1.5 million miles.
Song: “Message in a Bottle,” by the Police
Actual lyric: “A year has passed since I wrote my note”
Misheard as: “A year has passed since I broke my nose”
Song: “Drive,” by the Cars
Actual lyric: “You can’t go on thinking nothing’s wrong, uh-uh”
Misheard as: “You can’t go on thinking nothing’s wrong, pork pie”
Song: “Two Tickets to Paradise,” by Eddie Money
Actual lyric: “I’ve got two tickets to paradise”
Misheard as: “I’ve got two chickens to paralyze”
Song: “Let My Love Open the Door,” by Pete Townshend
Actual lyric: “Let my love open the door”
Misheard as: “Let Milo open the door”
Song: “Behind Blue Eyes,” by the Who
Actual lyric: “No one knows what it’s like to be the bad man”
Misheard as: “No one knows what it’s like to be the Batman”
Song: “Every Time You Go Away,” by Paul Young
Actual lyric: “You take a piece of me with you”
Misheard as: “You take a piece of meat with you”
Song: “Stairway to Heaven,” by Led Zeppelin
Actual lyric: “And as we wind on down the road”
Misheard as: “And there’s a wino down the road”
Song: “Higher Love,” by Steve Winwood
Actual lyric: “Bring me a higher love”
Misheard as: “Bake me a pile of love”
Song: “Hurts So Good,” by John Cougar
Actual lyric: “Sometimes love don’t feel like it should”
Misheard as: “Sometimes love is gonna feel like s**t”
Song: “Bohemian Rhapsody,” by Queen
Actual lyric: “I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all”
Misheard as: “I sometimes wish I’d never been boiled in oil”
Song: “Jet Airliner,” by the Steve Miller Band
Actual lyric: “Big ol’ jet airliner”
Misheard as: “Put old Jeb in the lineup”
Song: “Panic,” by the Smiths
Actual lyric: “Hang the D.J.”
Misheard as: “Hank the D.J.”
Song: “I Wanna Be Sedated,” by the Ramones
Actual lyric: “I wanna be sedated”
Misheard as: “I want a piece of bacon”
Deadliest job in WWII: serving on a German sub. It had a 75% fatality rate.