File: 113/47/04/sfg/Continued
Source: LinkData\LinkDiary\Peter_Vincent\Personal
<LinkDiary Running>
I let the memory run its course and then retracted my filaments. I wasn’t surprised to find that there were tears in my eyes.
I rarely visit that memory.
It hurts too much.
That was, after all, the last time I saw my mother.
Alpha was studying my face, looking confused.
‘I – I don’t understand,’ she said. ‘That was the last time you saw her?’
I nodded. It was all that I could manage by way of reply.
‘Where … where did she go?’ Alpha’s voice was quiet, but there was a tension to it, too, as if she wasn’t quite satisfied by the contents of the memory I had shown her.
I shrugged. ‘My father said that she left us. That she no longer wanted to be with us. That she had other places she wanted to see, other things she wanted to do, and those plans just didn’t include a family.
‘I never understood. I still don’t. I’ve spent the last seven years wondering what could have been so important that she walked out on her own son. She loved me; at least, I think she did.’
Alpha stroked the back of my hand with her fingertips.
‘What else does your father say about it?’ she asked.
I shook my head. ‘He’s never spoken about it since that day,’ I told her. ‘He’s not really the type to talk about feelings and stuff. I guess it’s too painful for him.
‘You know the stupid thing? For the first year or so there wasn’t a day that passed that I wasn’t thinking about her, hoping to see her face in a crowd, hoping to get a LinkMessage from her telling me she was OK. Anything.
‘But as time passed I started to think about her less and less. Now I can only remember her face if I look at stored memories.’
Alpha’s face was creased with concern. She was frowning and I had a sudden horrible thought that I had upset her somehow by showing her the memory. Then her expression changed, and there was a sudden intensity to it.
‘Hey, Peter,’ she said. ‘You blame yourself, don’t you?’
‘Why else would she go?’ I asked. ‘I must have done something …’
‘You didn’t,’ Alpha said and her certainty startled me. ‘Look, I don’t know if this will help, but there was something … wrong with that memory.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m not one hundred percent certain, but something makes me think that we didn’t see the whole thing.’
‘That’s all I’ve got,’ I said, feeling a sudden flash of anger at the suggestion that I could be holding something back from her.
‘Maybe.’ Alpha stood up. ‘But I reckon we need to find ourselves the services of a decent hacker to be certain. Wait here.’
I watched her as she went over to the man at the counter. She chatted with him for a while and then he nodded and pointed to a woman at a table on the other side of the room. Alpha approached her, had another conversation, and then the woman looked over at me.
She followed Alpha back to the table where I was sitting.
‘Peter, right?’ The woman said as Alpha took her seat in front of me.
The woman continued to stand. She was tall and thin and had a narrow, wary face, topped off with a brief scrub of black hair. Her eyes were dark and locked on to mine.
I nodded. ‘Peter Vincent.’ I said.
‘Hey, Peter Vincent,’ the woman said. ‘I’m Ashley.’ She cracked a wide smile and sat down. ‘You ever hacked your own code before?’ she asked.
I shook my head. ‘I’m not even sure what that is,’ I confessed.
‘That’s fine. Just think of it as gaining access to things you know subconsciously. We are creatures of data, but we rarely take the time to analyse any of the information that flows through us. Which is kind of stupid, right? I’m going to help you do just that. You up for it?’
I looked at Alpha and she gave me an encouraging nod. ‘Sure,’ I said. ‘What do I have to do?’