| |
This was going to kill me. Leaving her last time had left me adrift, with a hollow inside my chest where my heart used to be. Knowing that I’d frightened her, causing her to cry, and to fear me, was even worse. If ripping out my guts with a rusty knife would help, I’d do it in an instant. I’d do anything to spare her this pain, this distress.
All I could do, was the thing I’d wanted to avoid. I had to wipe her memories. Again.
I tilted her chin up to meet her eyes, and gazed into their stricken amber depths. This had to be the last time. Human brains didn’t cope well with this level of angelic tampering. Doing it once was usually acceptable, but doing it a second time made it harder to do thoroughly. I’d completely missed the sketchbook last time, and I couldn’t afford such a sloppy job today. Above all else, I had to protect her.
“I love you, Hannah. I wish things were different.”
Before she could reply, before I could change my mind, I pressed my palm to her forehead and focused on her memories. It was the work of moments to sift through them and discard everything from the past twenty-four hours. She’d remember meeting me for lunch, and my invitation to decorate the house, but she’d think she came here alone.
“Daniel?” she sounded confused, and I saw fear in her eyes. This was to be expected. I’d been selfish and spent too long with her. Right now, she ought to be falling asleep in my arms while her brain fritzed out. She should sleep for an hour, giving me time to clean up and get out.
“Daniel?” She asked again, and I felt a frisson of anxiety. Why wasn’t it working? I couldn’t let her remember me.
“Sleep, my love.” I kissed her forehead and arrowed into her memory. She whimpered. A solitary tear trickled down her cheek and I wept inside. I was hurting her. I didn’t deserve to exist.
“I love you,” she whispered, and then crumpled in my arms. Unconscious.
*
I DROVE AWAY HALF AN hour later, after removing every trace that I’d been there. The road blurred before my eyes and I had to stop, and wait until my breathing steadied.
Meeting her four years ago had changed my life. I’d been unable to keep my distance from her brightness and colour, her bubbly personality, so full of energy in comparison to mine. As a senior angel, I was allowed to spend more time on earth walking amongst mankind, but the more I saw of man, the more I tired of my own existence. We weren’t superior. We were arrogant.
I was lonely.
I’d danced around the edge of Hannah’s life and watched as she started her own business, buying coffee from her when I could. This was the highlight of my long, bleak days. When I was finally granted a weekend in mortal form, I grabbed the chance and persuaded Hannah to have dinner with me. One thing led to another, and we spent an idyllic day and night up in Peka Peka.
Wiping her memories hurt, but I took solace in the knowledge that she wouldn’t pine for me. I’d go back to watching her from afar, only stepping in if she needed help. One day she’d fall in love, marry, have a family. All the things I could never have.
I’d been assigned as her guardian angel. I had no right to fall in love with her.
One night in her arms should have been enough. Two nights was greedy, but I was starving for her.
It would have to sustain me for eternity.
~ * ~
To keep up to date on new releases and other news from Sofia Grey, click here to subscribe to her newsletter.
Please help this author’s career by posting an honest review wherever you purchased this book.