SIXTEEN

Linda sat with Ruth in her kitchen while they drank tea together. “You’re looking well, Ruth. How are you feeling?”

“B-better,” Ruth said. “H-how are you?”

“I’m fine.” Linda smiled, thinking of the sweet moment she’d shared with Aaron the week before. Ever since he’d told her he was considering staying, she’d felt closer to him. Although they’d only made small talk in passing, she felt as if his smiles held more emotion. She kept hoping he’d tell her he was going to stay.

“H-how’s the h-hotel?” Ruth asked, her words slightly clearer than the last time Linda had seen her.

“It’s gut.” Linda clasped her warm mug in her hands. “We really miss you. Carolyn is home with her boppli, and she’s doing really well. Madeleine is working more hours. She’s joining this spring’s baptism class, and she’s so excited. I have a feeling she and Saul will get married after she’s baptized. She talks about Saul and Emma all the time.”

“That is g-gut.” Ruth picked up her mug with her good hand. “M-Madeleine is a g-gut maedel.”

“She is,” Linda agreed. “I’m so glad Saul and Madeleine found each other. They both have been through so much since Saul lost his wife and Madeleine lost her fiancé. The Lord works in mysterious ways. He brought Madeleine to the community to her mammi’s haus.”

“Ya.” Ruth nodded and then smiled. “I’m s-so p-proud of m-my Aaron. He’s s-such a g-gut man.”

“Ya,” Linda said with a deep smile. “He is.”

“I asked h-him to st-stay.” Ruth’s eyes gleamed with tears. “I h-hope h-he d-does.”

Linda nodded and her heart swelled with hopefulness. “I know. I do too.”

After they finished their tea, Jocelyn took Ruth to her bedroom for her exercises and Linda washed the mugs and the teapot. She then made her way to the hallway and peered into the bathroom where Aaron and Manny were working on replacing the flooring. She stood in the doorway watching Aaron as he knelt on the floor and explained the process to his nephew. She was drawn to his care and patience as he spoke.

Aaron suddenly looked over his shoulder and gave her a soft smile. “How long have you been standing there?” He rose, wiping his hands on his worn jeans.

“I just got here.” She pointed toward the kitchen. “I had a cup of tea with your mamm.”

“That’s nice. I’m sure she enjoyed your visit.” He walked over to her and then looked back at Manny. “Want to take a break?”

“Ya.” Manny stood and cupped his hand over his mouth as he yawned. “That sounds gut. Hi, Linda,” he said before leaving.

Linda scanned the bathroom, taking in the crisp-white walls and the brand-new shower stall. The aroma of fresh paint tickled her nose. “You do great work.”

“Thanks.” He seemed almost embarrassed by the compliment. “The plumber was excellent.”

She glanced down at the floor. “I like the new vinyl.”

“I tried to get my dat to go for bright purple, but he wanted to keep it a neutral tan.”

“You did?” She tilted her head with confusion.

His lips twitched. “It was a joke.”

A loud bark of laughter burst from her lips before she could stop it, and she was mortified with embarrassment. She cupped her hand over her mouth as her cheeks heated.

“Oh,” she finally said as he grinned at her. “Excuse me.”

“Why are you covering your mouth? You have a great laugh. I enjoy hearing it.” He touched her hand. “I always look forward to seeing your smile and hearing you laugh.”

“You do?” she asked with astonishment.

“Ya, I do.” He stepped over to the shower stall. “Let me show you how this works.” He pulled open the shower door and explained the different controls. He emphasized how much safer the shower was for his mother than the tub.

While he told her all about the shower, she kept replaying his compliments in her mind. He had told her he looked forward to her smile and her laugh. No one had ever said anything like that to her. She never imagined that anyone would say something so sweet. She felt as if she were dreaming. Had she finally found someone who could possibly love her despite her imperfections?

“Mei mamm said she really likes it,” he continued, closing the shower door. “I’m so glad I can do something like this for her.”

“What was your most favorite construction job?” she asked.

“Hmm.” He rubbed his smooth chin while considering the question. “My company once got a job to work on a mansion. I remember telling my nieces and nephews about it when I first arrived.”

“A mansion?” she asked. “What do you mean by mansion?”

“Well,” he began, leaning against the counter behind him. “It had six bathrooms and ten bedrooms.”

“Oh my goodness.” Linda gaped. “How many people lived there?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Would you believe only two people lived there?”

“Oh dear. Why would two people need such a big haus? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Sometimes people who have a lot of money like to buy things they don’t need because it makes them feel important,” Aaron said.

“Really? So what kind of work did you do on that mansion?”

For the next half hour, Linda stood in the bathroom with Aaron and discussed his most memorable construction projects. She enjoyed talking with him and finding out more about his life.

Later that evening, Linda was still smiling when she served supper to her uncle. She was determined not to let his foul mood ruin the wonderful day she’d had, and she tried to forget about their conversation two weeks ago on their way home from church. He was still her uncle—and, she realized, she was all he had. Her cousin Raymond had given up on him.

Reuben frowned into his meat loaf while she tried to tell him about her afternoon.

“You should see the work Aaron has done to Ruth’s bathroom,” Linda said. “He installed this beautiful shower stall that has a bench for Ruth to sit on so she doesn’t fall. He also repainted the walls, and he installed safety bars by the commode. He’s also replacing the flooring. It’s lovely, Onkel.”

Reuben grunted while scooping mashed potatoes onto his spoon.

“Aaron told me about this mansion he worked on. Even though only two people lived there it had ten bedrooms and six bathrooms.” She watched her uncle while she chewed. He kept his eyes focused on his food, and she longed for him to look at her the way Aaron looked at Manny. Why wasn’t she worthy of her uncle’s love? What had she done wrong to deserve his constantly cold moods? She had always tried her best to care for him.

They ate in silence for several minutes, and she couldn’t stop her thoughts from turning to the conversation she’d had with him in the buggy. She must remind him of all the things he’d wanted but never gotten out of life, about how her father inherited the house and land he’d wanted. She was convinced that was the reason he couldn’t love her, not her scars and limp.

When their plates were clean, she began to clear the table. She couldn’t stand the silence in the house. She wished her uncle would allow her to invite company over for supper so the house didn’t remain so quiet and lonely all the time. Even though there were two of them there, she sometimes felt as if she lived alone. Would he allow her to invite Aaron over for supper someday? Surely dinner would be lively and fun if she had Aaron there to talk to during the meal. No, she knew how he felt about her spending time with someone who wasn’t baptized in the church.

Linda prepared the sinks, dropped the dishes into the sudsy side, and began to scrub them as she wondered what Aaron was doing. She hoped he was enjoying a lively supper with his family, laughing and talking the evening away.

“I never thought I’d spend my last years in a tiny haus like this.” Reuben’s booming voice startled her. Had he been reading her thoughts during supper?

“I always thought I’d have a nice, big haus on a productive farm. I spent so many years slaving on my father’s farm. I didn’t deserve to be stuck in this small haus on my nephew’s land.”

She glanced toward where he stood scowling at her. As his angry brown eyes burned through her, she felt her shoulders hunch.

“I have so much to resent in life.” He walked away muttering something she could hardly understand. Something about choices and consequences?

Linda stared down at the frothy water. It must have been torture for her uncle to keep all that inside for so many years.

She thought again about her conversation with Aaron when they’d shared coffee at the hotel. Was it true that she allowed her uncle, in his own despair, to beat down her spirit? Did how he made her feel cause her so much discouragement that it made her limp more pronounced?

Suddenly she realized she was slumping.

How could she change her life to make it happier and more rewarding?

Perhaps it was time she made a change. She’d been passive for far too long.

“How are you feeling?” Linda asked Hannah as they sat on the front porch of the bed-and-breakfast the following Monday morning. It was warm enough now to sit outside with sweaters.

“I feel huge.” Hannah laughed as she rubbed her protruding belly. “I’m getting close. I can’t believe it. Some days it feels like the time has passed quickly and other days it feels like I’ve been pregnant for years.”

Linda chuckled and then sipped her tea. “I suppose I could see that. It all must depend on your energy level. Do you feel ready?”

“I suppose I should feel ready, but I don’t.” She sighed. “Trey started putting the crib together over the weekend. I’m excited to arrange all the baby clothes and supplies, so I guess that means I’m nesting. They say you do that right before the baby is born, and I did with my other children.”

“I’ve heard that.” Linda wondered what it would be like to have her own baby. How she longed to have a home of her own, a family, and a life beyond the little house she shared with her uncle.

“I was hoping Lillian would call me or come to see me before the baby is born,” Hannah said, her voice soft and quaky. “I had such a good feeling after seeing her in the grocery store that day, and I can’t help being disappointed that she hasn’t contacted me. I suppose I was too optimistic, and I’m just setting myself up for more heartache. I’m really kidding myself that she’ll become a part of my life again. I can’t expect Lillian to forgive me after leaving her the way I did.”

“Oh, Hannah.” Linda touched her hand. “Don’t give up so easily. Lily will come to you. Just give her time. The baby isn’t here yet, and I believe in my heart that you’ll have your family back soon. You can’t give up hope. That’s not like you.”

“Thank you, Linda. I know you’re right, but I’m having a difficult time being patient. I just miss Lily so much.”

“I know you do.” Linda gave her a sad smile. “She misses you. I could see it in her eyes.”

“I’m so grateful for your friendship, Linda.” Hannah sighed. “You really are a wonderful support to me.”

“Thank you. I feel the same way.” Linda looked out toward the road as a horse and buggy passed by, and her thoughts turned to her uncle and her growing frustration with him.

“What’s on your mind?” Hannah asked, her words breaking through Linda’s thoughts.

Linda turned toward Hannah and found her friend looking at her intently. “Why do you ask?”

“You seem pensive today. Do you want to talk about it? Of course, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“No, I will.” Linda sighed and stared toward the road where another horse clip-clopped past while pulling a buggy. “You know I live with my onkel.”

“Ya, Reuben. I know him from church.”

“He has never been very kind to me. In fact, he’s always made me feel bad about myself.” Linda shared about her limp and scars, how her uncle had always treated her, and that she’d taken the job at the hotel to prove she was worthy of his respect.

“Linda, I had no idea.” Hannah touched Linda’s arm. “I didn’t even realize you had a limp. I’ve never noticed it. And I’m so sorry I never knew that you had a difficult home life.”

“Danki.” Linda smiled. “The limp usually shows up when I’m tired, anxious, or at home. I realize that now. I never shared this with anyone until Aaron asked me why I was different when I was with mei onkel. He noticed that I seem to turn in on myself when Reuben is around. My shoulders hunch and I limp. It’s almost as if Reuben has made me doubt myself and who I could be.”

Hannah considered this. “You know, I’ve never seen Reuben smile. He seems like a very unhappy man.”

“He is very unhappy. He’s very dissatisfied with how his life turned out, and he’s angry.” Linda placed her teacup on the table beside the bench. “I’ve tried to be kind to him and draw him out of his sadness, but it doesn’t work.”

“I hope you don’t blame yourself for the way he is,” Hannah said.

Linda shrugged. “I don’t know. I know he’s hurt that mei dat inherited the haus and majority of their father’s farm he wanted, and I remind him of my dat. He looks at me with such anger. Somehow, I think he sees his own resentment reflected in my eyes, not the love I’ve tried to show. I don’t think he realizes that I do care for him. He’s my family.”

“Oh, no. I’m so sorry.”

“He treats me like this tremendous burden though I’ve been taking care of him for years, even before my aenti Verna died. Now I make most of his meals, wash his clothes, clean his house, and do all the things around the haus Aenti Verna did as well.” She sighed. “I even put most of my money into the household. I keep some back just in case I do move out someday. I have a small savings account. Of course, he tells me I’ll never move out. I’ll just live there alone after he dies.”

“That’s terrible,” Hannah said with a gasp. “I’m sorry he says things like that to you. He’s so very wrong.” She touched Linda’s shoulder. “Don’t listen to him.”

“I try not to, but his words get to me sometimes. I try to tune him out, but his hateful comments get through.”

“How do you handle that? Don’t you get upset with him?”

“Ya, I do. A few times I’ve wanted to speak up and tell him he’s wrong about me. I’m not as worthless as he makes me feel, but then I remember he’s my elder and I have to respect him. After all, he did take me in and raise me, even if he didn’t want to.”

“That’s true, but he shouldn’t treat you that way. You’re a wunderbaar maedel.” Hannah took a sip of her tea.

“Danki.” Linda considered her words. “Deep down I don’t think he means what he says, and I try to keep that in mind.”

“That’s a gut plan. Don’t let him break your spirit.”

“I try not to.”

“You do need to stand up for yourself too. Don’t let him treat you like a child. You’re a grown woman, and you can make your own decisions. I know you’re respectful to him, but he has to respect you too.”

Linda nodded. “Thank you, Hannah.” Hannah was right, and Linda had to find the strength to stand up to Reuben. “I appreciate your encouragement.”

“You’re welcome.” Hannah was quiet for a moment. “I want to ask you something.” She turned toward Linda. “Do you like working here?”

“Ya,” Linda said with a nod. “I love it here.”

“I know I’m going to be exhausted from the sleepless nights and long days with a baby,” Hannah said. “Would you like to keep working here?”

“Of course I would.” Linda lifted her teacup. “I’d love to work here for as long as you’ll have me.”

“I’m so thankful you said that.” Hannah rubbed her abdomen again. “My life is about to get crazy.”

“Ya,” Linda agreed. “It will be crazy, but it will be a blessing.”

Aaron stepped into the kitchen at the bed-and-breakfast Friday morning and found Linda standing at the counter writing on a notepad.

“Gude mariye,” he said as he picked up a donut from a box on the counter.

She looked over at him and smiled. “Gude mariye. Would you like some breakfast? You’re our only guest right now, so I decided to wait for you to come down and see what you’d like to eat.”

“What if I take you out to breakfast?” He stuffed the rest of the donut into his mouth and wiped his hands on a paper towel.

She studied him. “You want to take me out to breakfast?”

“Ya, that’s right.” He tossed the paper towel in the trash. “Can you take a short break? I’ll have you back here soon.”

“Well, I don’t know. I have to do some cleaning, and I need to get groceries to cook for the guests who are arriving this afternoon.” She glanced down at the notepad. “I have quite a few things to pick up. I have to make an Amish meal tonight. The new guests wanted it first thing.”

“What if we went to breakfast and then did your grocery shopping together?” he offered, hoping to convince her to go with him. “Would that help you get your work done in time?”

Linda nodded. “Ya, it would.”

“So it’s settled. We’ll have breakfast and then we’ll take care of your shopping.” He pulled on the coat he’d brought from his room. “Are you ready to go?”

“Let me just go tell Hannah.” Linda disappeared into the hallway. She returned a few minutes later with her purse and pulled on her coat. “Okay. Let’s go.”

“Great.” He held the back door open for her. “I’ve been hoping we could talk.”

“Oh?” Her eyes were full of curiosity. “Why did you want to talk?”

“We haven’t had much time together lately. It seems like we’ve both been busier with work than ever.” He walked beside her to the truck and then opened the passenger door for her.

After they were in the truck and on their way, he asked, “Do you have any particular restaurant you like?”

“No.” She shook her head. “It’s a treat to go out to eat. Whatever you choose is fine.”

“All right.” Aaron decided on his favorite place. “How have you been?”

“Fine.” Linda looked out the window. “Spring is here. I’m so froh. I love this time of year. I’m working in my garden at home as well as in the garden here. It’s too much for Hannah right now, but we use homegrown vegetables in our meals at the bed-and-breakfast whenever we can.”

“That’s nice.” Aaron remembered how his mother and Becky enjoyed working in their gardens. “Becky, Ruthie Joy, and Katie have been working in their garden and Mamm’s too. Mamm sat on a chair outside and watched them yesterday. She pointed and gave some advice. She’s a gut supervisor.”

Linda chuckled. “That’s gut. How is your mamm?”

“She’s doing better. She’s walking more and more.” He saw Linda studying him in his peripheral vision. “She’s using the walker, but she’s getting a little more steady. It’s such a relief to see her up and around. I know she enjoys being outside.”

“Have you made a decision?” Her voice was soft and she sounded hesitant.

“Have I made a decision about what?” he asked.

“Are you going to stay?”

He slowed to a stop at a red light and turned toward her. Her expression was hopeful, reminding him of how his mother looked at him when she asked him to stay.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I still haven’t decided what to do.”

“Why?” she asked. “What is holding you back from making a decision?”

“I guess it’s my bruder,” he admitted with a sigh. “Solomon still won’t talk to me.” The light turned green and he accelerated through the intersection. “I don’t feel like I can stay unless my whole family accepts me back.”

“Oh.” She seemed disappointed.

“I’ve been doing all I can to show Solomon I want to be a part of the family,” Aaron said. “Manny and I have finished working in the bathroom, and we’re doing some more work on mei mamm’s screened-in porch. We’ve replaced the door, and we’re going to replace some screens as well. And we still have the back ramp to build. Once that’s done, we’re going to paint the whole outside of it.”

He paused before going on. “I don’t know what else I can do to show mei bruder that I’m not going to hurt mei mamm again. It seems to be impossible. It’s as if Solomon’s heart is frozen solid, and he has no feelings at all.”

“Have you prayed for him?” Linda asked.

Aaron steered into the parking lot at the restaurant and parked up close to the building. When he turned and faced her, he said, “No, I can’t say that I have.”

“I believe prayer is the best medicine. I’ve been praying for mei onkel, and it has made me feel so much better.”

He touched her soft hand. “I will try that.”

“It works.” She smiled. “Hannah suggested that I pray for mei onkel, and it’s doing wonders for me. It will help him too.”

“Danki, Linda.” He wrenched his door open. “Let’s go have some breakfast. My stomach is starting to rumble.”