ONE WEEK later, the death toll stood officially at 29,371. It was expected to grow, but not by the thousands anymore.
The tragedy was blamed on a toxic chemical release by a large oil and fracking concern that Esme had cursed because they were assholes and had pretty much destroyed the Earth for generations to come. They deserved more shit than they got.
As it turned out, the White House and half the Senate were taken out by the Cthulhu death wave, which felt like a win. It was still terrible innocent people died… but Logan found it hard to care about a bunch of cruel millionaires who probably deserved so much worse.
Logan did feel terrible about the others, though. Ceri told him to quit looking up the numbers, but it was the least he could do, since this was the bargain they made to save the rest of the world. It behooved them to remember all the dead.
Also, during a good post-victory wallow, Logan thought of something that hadn’t occurred to him before. He talked it over with Esme, and she thought it might be possible, so he waited until Gill contacted him to approach her with the idea. She liked it, so they set it up to happen.
Gill showed up at the door of his house, looking very much like the last time Logan saw her alive. She had shaggy brown hair and blue eyes and was wearing jeans, a plain green T-shirt, and her favorite worn brown leather jacket. Logan hugged her and did his best to hold back the tears. Gill hugged him back, and maybe she was trying to hold back some tears too. Hard to tell.
Logan made awkward and completely unnecessary introductions between Gill and Ceri, and Gill and Esme, but he skipped the intro for Lyn, because she and Gill had already met when Logan and Lyn were a thing. Gill had always been suspicious of Lyn and once said, “She’s like a female you,” which Logan wasn’t sure how to take. But he’d figured out it was simply a reference to the fact that Lyn knew how to fight. Of course, she had superhuman strength and durability, which he could never claim, not even with the Scourge.
After that was out of the way, they got down to business. Which was Esme cursing Gill to remember her life as a human. Honestly, Logan was embarrassed he hadn’t thought of it before. But to be fair, they were all kind of focused on the whole preventing-the-apocalypse thing, and nobody was sure Gill wouldn’t turn into an enemy. Lucky for them, she didn’t, or at least not for long.
Esme couldn’t be sure it would keep, as she’d never cast a long-term curse on an angel, and it might “heal up,” for lack of a better term. But Gill told him, with a big smile, that she remembered everything, and sometimes he was a complete asshole, which made Logan chuckle. Yeah, he was, but so was Gill, so they were even.
If it did stick, there was little downside to being an angel. She’d be immortal, able to teleport, move through dimensions, and appear as anything she wanted. Nothing would be off-limits for her. It was tempting now, although Logan didn’t seriously consider it. He wasn’t ready to give up his humanity yet. Maybe never.
Gill stayed for a while, informing them that the angels were rebuilding Heaven, but beyond that they had no plans. There was an ongoing debate about whether they needed a leader or a mission or not, because what the hell? It didn’t work the first time. Gill said it reminded her of Logan’s tattoo—no gods, no masters—and some angels were going native on Earth, so they should keep an eye out, although it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Some were demon hunting, which could be seen as useful.
Because Gill was more or less one of them, they updated her on Hell’s odd situation. Without Lucifer, they had no leader… except Ceri, his natural heir. For right now, he was using Bucket as a liaison and redirecting Hell’s mission statement. Namely, tormenting and killing humans was passé. Now it was all about turning Hell into a functional society for demons who wanted to live there. It was jarring and unexpected, but he was the son of Satan, and they couldn’t object. Some demons had fled to Earth, not sure what to think, but those angels hunting them had made Earth a little less enticing. Still, for the most part, the demons were generally happy having a life not completely defined by tormenting another species or serving a master. It gave them a slight bit of hope that maybe things could change.
Bucket did retrieve Lucifer’s spell book, which Esme took possession of, and after a cursory glance, hid within her mazelike underground library. To say it was dangerous was an understatement. She was considering destroying it, but first she had to figure out how. At least no one else could use it.
There was a contingent of demons who wanted Lucifer back. But they also knew Cthulhu was currently using him as a pillow, and none of them were brave enough to risk the wrath of Cthulhu, so mainly they just sulked. Heaven didn’t have a replacement leader to rally around, which was good for now. If they ever found one, it might be an issue for later.
Once Gill left, Logan found it bittersweet. He had his sister back, in a way. But maybe not for long, and she would always be a version of his sister—not quite the real thing, but an amazing simulation with angel powers. He couldn’t think of her that way, though. She was either his sister or she wasn’t, and right now, she very much was. Logan was really going to have to come to grips with this, but not immediately.
Alex had somehow become part of their oddball group. They weren’t big on socializing or anything but dropped by enough that they seemed to be used to them, if not precisely a fan. There was no forgetting or getting around the fact that they were the most dangerous supernatural tactical nuke around, but if there had to be one walking among them, at least they could be friends with it. And it was never not handy to have an elder god on your side.
Especially considering Esme still had her “supernatural sheriff” responsibilities, being the most powerful spellslinger around. Stopping the apocalypse had enhanced her rep, but the way things were changing with Heaven and Hell had added a layer of chaos to everything. They all helped when they could, even Ahmed, who usually complained but never let go of an opportunity to show the world his stylish new duds. He also still lived in Logan and Ceri’s basement. Why wouldn’t he? He’d had many decades of solitude and had decided limited alone time was best for him. He wasn’t a bad guy, apart from his persistent Eeyore qualities, and his knowledge was voluminous. Also, it was good to have a physically indestructible being on your side.
A week after Logan and the gang had saved the entire planet—and doomed a small swath of it—they were sitting in a diner at 1:45 a.m., thirsty after an attempt to break up a vampire attack had turned into a battle royale between two different nests of vampires who, as it turned out, were battling over territory. While there were twice as many vampires as they were expecting, it was still fairly easy for them. Although Logan had offered to give it to Ceri, Talon was still welded to him and, as it turned out, was absolutely fine with spitting void on vamps and chomping them, which killed them. Esme also had a fireball spell that would have made any Dungeons & Dragons players jealous and caused vampires to almost instantly vaporize into ash. Lyn had an axe. It was just an axe, one you could pick up at a big-box store, and combined with her strength, she had vamp heads rolling like baseballs. Kind of funny and kind of disgusting. Alex didn’t join them because vampires were too easy to kill. But what wasn’t easy to kill from Cthylor’s perspective? It was amazing they ever showed up at all.
Esme and Lyn were sitting on one side of the booth, sharing a plate of fries. Lyn was having a cola, while Esme was having an herbal tea and occasionally reminding Lyn caffeine would keep her up. Lyn didn’t seem to care. Logan and Ceri were sitting on the other side of the booth, sharing a greasy grilled-cheese sandwich, which was really excellent if also sort of gross, but in a good way. They were both drinking iced tea that probably had the same amount of sugar and caffeine as Lyn’s soda, but they didn’t care. Against all odds, they were somehow still alive, as was the Earth. It was time to go nuts. This was all bonus time.
Ahmed was sitting at the counter, pretending to drink his tea while reading a Spanish-language newspaper, since in all of his time alive, he’d learned to speak and read many languages. Which he never failed to brag about when given the chance.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna be in Hell, though?” Lyn asked Ceri, noshing on a fry. “You’d be treated like a king, wouldn’t you?”
Ceri shrugged one shoulder, pulling a piece of crust off his sandwich. “Like an emperor, I imagine, but I don’t want that.”
“Oh yeah, having a bunch of fawning people at your perpetual beck and call. No wonder they call it Hell.”
Ceri raised an eyebrow at Lyn’s smirking face. “Would you like the job?”
“Could I?”
Esme nudged her. “Do you think demons are really gonna take orders from a harpy?”
“If they know what’s good for them, yeah.”
Ceri shook his head. “They’ll be too scared of you to even show up. You’ll preside over an empty kingdom.”
Lyn shrugged. “I’ve done worse.”
Logan almost asked but decided in the end it wasn’t worth it. Instead, he looked over at Ceri. “It is your birthright. Sure you don’t want it?”
Ceri gazed at him with kindness. “Are you kidding? My life is here with you. I wouldn’t trade that for any kingdom.”
Genuine warmth bloomed in Logan’s chest, and he had to blink back tears. For so much of his life, he’d felt unlovable and toxic. It was hard to believe anyone could ever love him. Logan leaned in and gave Ceri a quick peck on the lips, which was met by mock gagging from Lyn and a balled-up napkin Esme threw and bounced off his chest. “Oh, grow up,” Logan snapped in mock anger.
They both gave him innocent grins that looked cheesy as hell, and Logan realized he hadn’t lost the rest of his family after all. He’d gained a new one.
A new, really annoying one. Oh well. Couldn’t have everything, right?