IT WAS BECOMING almost impossible for Jenny to sneak out. During the week, Linda had taken to sleeping downstairs on the couch, on guard and poised to catch Jenny in the act.
When her father came home, things went back to normal. Linda played doting housewife to an indifferent man and a terrified daughter. Jenny knew Linda wasn’t telling him anything. Ever since he hadn’t come home the previous weekend, she had completely changed her demeanor around him. Things were perfect; no need to stay in New York.
Jenny knew her only chance to sneak out would be on the weekends now. She laughed thinking about how her father used to be the one she was afraid of. The escape route was the same as it always was. Jenny slipped into her brown boots and was out the garage door without incident. Inside the garage, she found her old bike behind the unused recycle bins. It was pink, of course, with tassels on the handles. Jenny was proud of her independence, her defiance, and her persistence; she was not proud of traveling by princess bike. She walked it to the end of the driveway before mounting it. Her knees tapped against her elbows as she pedaled toward the center of town.
JENNY KNOCKED ON the door to apartment six. It was almost eleven. She had no idea if it was too late. She didn’t know much about her sister other than what could be gleaned from Sunday dinners and the crap her parents would say after she left.
Virginia opened the door a crack in flannel pants and an old T-shirt. She looked like she had been woken from the dead. “Jenny?” she asked, opening the door all the way. “Is everything OK?” Her words cut in and out, and she coughed to wake up her voice.
“I was at Mallory’s house and we got in a fight. Can I come in?” Poor Mallory, always the star of Jenny’s lies. This time it was just geographically convenient; Mallory’s family lived down the street. If she told Virginia she rode her bike all the way from her own house in the middle of the night, she would have a lot of explaining to do.
Virginia stepped aside to let her sister in. “Do you want to call Linda?”
“No, can I just hang out here for a little bit, then I’ll go back? I don’t want Mom to freak out,” Jenny said, knowing Virginia had no idea what it meant for Linda to freak out. It sounded like typical teenager talk.
“I guess,” Virginia said, less than enthusiastic. Jenny threw her coat off and plopped down on the couch while Virginia shut the door. She had never been inside before. It was nothing special, but it was Virginia’s private space, free of Linda’s knickknacks.
“Did I wake you up?”
“I sleep too much anyway,” Virginia yawned, joining her sister on the couch.
“I, like, never sleep anymore,” Jenny said, which had the benefit of sounding edgy while still being honest.
“How’s school?” Virginia asked, like every adult asks a child they know nothing about.
“It’s fine.”
“Are you still skipping?”
“No, not really. I’m on thin ice at school and Mom and Dad are flipping out.”
“They don’t want you to turn into me.” Virginia smiled. She accepted her standing in the family.
“What did you even do to make them hate you so much?”
“Who knows. I didn’t become president of the United States.”
“Is it because my mom isn’t your mom?”
“I don’t know, Dad gave up on me long before he even met your mother.”
“When your mom died?”
“Jeez, a lot of hard-hitting questions. Is that your thing now? A million questions?”
“Sorry.” Jenny ended that line of questioning. She scanned the apartment. It didn’t look like Virginia had many guests. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Does it look like it?”
Jenny shrugged. “I don’t know. I only see you on Sundays. It’s not like you would bring a guy there. I wouldn’t bring my boyfriend there.”
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No, I just mean if I did …” She trailed off and reconsidered where she wanted this conversation to go. “Tons of girls in my class are having sex,” she blurted out.
Virginia’s eyes widened, caught off guard. “Good for them.” It wasn’t the reaction Jenny had expected. She’d thought she would get a lecture about being way too young to even think about sex.
“How old were you when you first … you know?”
Virginia thought for a second. “Fourteen.”
Jenny considered the answer. It seemed like a good age. Younger than JP, older than her. “Was he your boyfriend?”
“Yes,” Virginia answered, clearly not caring to elaborate.
“I don’t know, having a boyfriend is a big deal. It seems like a lot of work. Wouldn’t it be better to just have sex with a friend or something?” Jenny asked.
“You make it sound like you have to have sex. You don’t have to have sex, you know?” Virginia clarified in her best role model attempt.
“I know. I’m just saying, it’s not really that big of a deal, right? Like everyone makes such a big deal about the first time, but who ends up with the guy they first have sex with? No one. You’re lucky if you even make it through high school together.”
“How old are you?” Virginia looked at the young girl as if trying to match her face to her words.
“Thirteen,” Jenny said. It didn’t bother her that Virginia didn’t know how old she was. The ignorance was mutual.
“You have some pretty profound thoughts on sex for thirteen.”
“Do you think it’s a big deal?” Jenny asked.
“Honestly, the sex isn’t a big deal. Love is a big deal. I think they should warn kids about falling in love. That’s where you really can get into trouble. Try not to fall in love until you’re older. That’s my advice.”
It was actually kind of nice talking to her sister, and Jenny regretted screaming that she hated her that day in town. This was a nice memory to leave on, and maybe someday they could reconnect, when Jenny came back from Mexico. She would be older and happier; maybe Virginia would be too.
“Can we watch a movie?” Jenny asked, refocusing on the mission at hand.
Twenty minutes into some TV movie, Virginia passed out.
Jenny had a lot of practice sneaking around by now, and she took her time getting off the couch, practically rolling off so as not to disturb her sister in the slightest. She stood for a moment, making sure Virginia stayed a corpse.
There was really only one place someone would keep important documents in that apartment: a small desk pushed against the wall near the kitchenette. Jenny took light steps in its direction, flexing her calves and staying on the balls of her feet. The apartment had hardwood floors that begged to creak, and she missed the silence of socks on carpet.
She paused again for signs of life from Virginia once she reached the desk, but there were none. She slid open the thin drawer along the surface of the desk first. It was full of plastic takeout utensils and dipping-sauce packets, a result of its proximity to the kitchen. There were two larger drawers to the side, and the first was home to a potpourri of bills, junk mail, and receipts. It was like a catchall for adult responsibility. Jenny leafed through it a bit, but it was obvious the passport wasn’t in there.
There was one drawer left. She pulled it open, panicking she wouldn’t find what she was looking for, but there it was, right on top. She knew Virginia had a passport. Her parents still complained about a school trip they let her go on to Spain, something along the lines of if they had known she was going to need money from them for the rest of their lives, they would have saved on the trip, but to have actually found it … She couldn’t believe it. Something had finally gone right.
Jenny flipped open the little blue book. Virginia looked young, seventeen or eighteen. She stared at the picture, worried about passing for her sister, but when she used her finger to cover Virginia’s brown hair, the similarities were almost eerie, their father’s dominant bone structure erasing their mothers’ identities.
She slipped the passport into her back pocket. She couldn’t wait to tell JP. All of a sudden, it felt real. There was a way out and she held the ticket—finally, something tangible. This was a turning point, a sign. She knew it.
Jenny was about to close the drawer and hightail it out of there when something caught her eye. Peeking out from underneath Virginia’s high school diploma sat a stack of neatly folded lined notebook paper. The notes were destined for her attention because of their meticulous presentation, contrasting greatly with the contents of the previous drawers.
She glanced over at her sister—still breathing heavily, eyes closed, drool forming. There was a little time to snoop. Jenny grabbed a few off the top of the stack, Virginia’s name written in identical handwriting on each one. She wasted no time opening the first one, guided by the weathered, permanent creases from being refolded a million times.
Ginny,
I love you to the moon, my little snail. School is so boring today. I can’t wait until this day is over. I’m going to smother you with snuggles until you can’t breathe and kisses are the only thing that will save you.
Love, Mark
P.S. I can see down your shirt when you reach under your desk. :)
Whoa, Jenny thought. Scandalous. This must be who Virginia lost her virginity to. Someone worth saving notes from for all these years. Who was this Mark? What had happened? With all the crap on the Internet, who knew a stack full of handwritten notes could be so intriguing?
Jenny unfolded the next one.
Virginia,
You did great on your test. Derivatives are nothing to joke about and you’ve mastered them. I felt weird about giving you the highest grade, but it isn’t favoritism, I promise. Of course, that doesn’t mean I’m not going to reward you. Tonight I’m going to show you how proud I am. I hope you can stay the night. You might be too tired to walk home.
Love, Mark
P.S. It was so hard not to touch you in class today.
Holy shit. Mark was her teacher. Mark was Mr. Renkin. Gross! Jenny’s head was swirling. Virginia was sleeping with Mr. Renkin. He was her teacher and they were doing it. Was it still happening? That day when they were all in town and everyone was being weird. Were they there together? He was with Ms. Willoughby, though. What was going on?
Jenny buried the three letters she had plucked off the top into her other back pocket, threw on her coat, and ran out the door. This was something she could use. She just didn’t know how yet.