JENNY’S EYES sprang open as JP’s elbow nudged her rib cage. She could hear raindrops tapping against the thin roof as she focused on the scenery and then JP next to her.
“You gotta get up if you want to go home and change before the bus,” he said.
Jenny sat up, simultaneously patting down her bedhead and wiping drool from the side of her face.
“Are you worried about your mom?” he asked. “I could come with you.”
Like a typical teenager obsessed with a boy, Jenny had forgotten about Linda. She hated these little moments that made her feel just like one of her peers and not the mature, beyond-her-years girl she saw herself as.
“That’s OK,” she said as she used the couch behind her to leverage into a standing position. “You would only make it worse.” Jenny could handle Linda. She was getting used to it now, the heartbreaking language, the violent attacks, the unrecognizable woman who lived in her house.
JP stood and followed Jenny to the door, where she slipped her small feet into her boots. Was he going to kiss her good-bye? Or hug her at least? This was uncharted territory. They were running away together, but in that moment, her focus was on how to leave his house.
“We’ll make a plan this week,” she said. “It’ll take at least a week to set it up, and that’s only if he responds immediately. I think we should try to get a letter out as soon as possible.” Jenny wished she had his e-mail address or even his phone number. The waiting was impossible.
“I don’t know if I’ve ever sent a letter.” JP laughed. “Maybe to Santa.” The thought of JP writing a letter to Santa made Jenny happy. Would they have kids someday? JP in his military uniform, taking them to see Santa. She had to rein herself in. That was a long time away. Robbing a pervert and years of gutting fish would come first.
JP opened the front door for her, pulling it as far as he could, creating maximum space between them. There would be no hug or kiss. Jenny was relieved. The kiss last night was amazing, but it was passion in the moment. Anything now would be forced. They would have plenty of time for real moments. It was better they stayed focused. Jenny threw the hood of her jacket over her golden hair and ran out into the rain.
JENNY TIPTOED THROUGH her house. She was grateful Linda wasn’t waiting in the kitchen for her like so many times before, stalking in the dark, ready for a fight.
The living room was empty. She made her way up the stairs, weightless, silent. At the top she found her mother’s door ajar. Jenny poked her head in. No Linda.
Her mother rarely left the house anymore. She couldn’t risk slipping up in public and alerting the town that she had cracked. She had to be somewhere.
Every empty room Jenny found increased the suspense. She wanted to get this over with, take her punishment and get to school. If she prolonged the meeting until the afternoon, Linda would surely be drunk again and it would be much worse.
Jenny made her way through the whole house, even the rooms they never used, until she finally spotted Linda. Her mother sat slumped over in a chair on the back deck. The rain was pouring down on her.
Jenny slid open the glass door, expecting her mother to react to the noise, but she didn’t move. The young girl walked around the chair to face her mother, whose chest rose and fell to its own beat. Drops fell from Linda’s nose, catching on her upper lip before running off her face. An empty glass sat on the table next to her. Such an obvious disease lacking any charm.
“Mom,” Jenny yelled, feeling crazy for trying to wake the beast. Jenny reached for her shoulder and shook it. “Mom!”
The woman stirred and murmured incoherently. Jenny released her shoulder and backed out of reach.
“Mom, it’s me, wake up. You’re getting soaked.”
“Where were you?” Linda muttered, still not opening her eyes.
“I was at Mallory’s house. I told you I was sleeping over there last night.”
“You’re lying,” Linda slurred as she lunged forward, trying to grab Jenny and falling to the wet, rain-sealed boards of the deck. She paused on all fours, unable to stand, unwilling to collapse.
“C’mon, let me help you.” Jenny locked her arms under her mother’s armpits and hoisted the woman up. It was clear Linda wouldn’t be able to do any real damage to Jenny that morning; she had reserved all the damage for herself.
JENNY WALKED THROUGH the hall after second period like a zombie. Students pushed past her, but her pace remained plodding. Gil was weighing on her mind. She didn’t want to see that man again. After a fight with Linda or a kiss from JP, the plan sounded easy. When she was just a girl walking to class, it seemed insane. She would talk to JP after school. It was time to circle back down to reality.
As she rounded the corner toward her locker, a chorus of girly giggles rose over the typical soundtrack of the hallway. Between Jenny and her locker stood Mallory, immersed in a group of popular high school girls. Christine Castleton held the group’s attention, and Mallory stood by her side as the dutiful protégé.
Past the girls, the sea of students seemed to part as Mr. Renkin rounded the corner into view, the one person she wanted to interact with even less than Mallory. Jenny froze. Surrounded by fifty witnesses, she was still scared.
“Mr. Renkin!” Christine yelled down the hall. She grinned at the man as her girls fell in line against the lockers.
“Hello, girls,” he said without altering his stride.
As he approached, Christine grabbed Mallory’s sleeve and yanked her off the locker and into Mr. Renkin’s path, timing it perfectly.
“Whoa,” he said as he jumped to the side, trying to avoid her, but hitting her with his elbow at the last second. “Are you all right?” he asked Mallory.
“Yeah.” She smiled. “I’ll just have to rub it a little.” Then she winked, and the girls behind her snickered.
Mr. Renkin glanced over at Christine, not naïve to her part in it all. She just grinned before turning her attention to her locker.
“You girls should be more careful,” he said.
“We will,” teased Mallory.
Mr. Renkin nodded before continuing down the hall in Jenny’s direction. Christine turned back from her locker to whisper something to Mallory. The way Mallory watched the older girl, she might as well have gotten out a pad and pencil to take notes. Jenny wondered how long it would be before Mallory showed up at school with matching magenta hair.
That was what Jenny was supposed to be doing. In a way, she was. They were all toying with older men, exploring boundaries without any comprehension of the consequences.
Jenny inched back against the lockers, hoping she would become invisible, but Mr. Renkin, fast approaching, locked eyes with her. Jenny swallowed hard, praying he would just keep walking.
“Good morning, Jenny,” he said, stopping in front of her. He stood close and lowered his voice. “I hope everything is OK between us?”
Jenny nodded, too nervous to use her words.
He reached toward her, and she flinched. “Relax, it’s just your collar.” He untucked the corner of Jenny’s jacket. “See you in class,” he said.
Jenny forced a smile, which gave him the confidence to walk away.
“Jenny!” Mallory yelled down the hall.
She turned to see Mallory and the other girls staring, having watched the entire interaction. Mallory put her hands up, craving an explanation, but Jenny couldn’t stomach it. She didn’t want to stand and giggle about Mr. Renkin, the man who had slept with her sister and left Jenny unconscious, even if Mallory demanded it.
JENNY SAT AT the end of the cafeteria table with her cold pizza, so immersed in her social studies homework that she didn’t notice a boy sit down across from her.
“Hey,” he said. It was Kevin Neary. Everyone knew Kevin Neary. He was a senior with 0 percent body fat and a boy-band face.
“Hi,” Jenny said, entirely unsure why he was talking to her.
“You’re Jenny, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool, I’m Kevin.”
“I know,” Jenny said, hoping he would just get to the point. He was gorgeous and popular, and she could feel her cheeks getting red.
He looked down at her homework. “Is that from Mr. Jacobs?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool. I had him.”
“Cool,” she said, speaking his language.
“I was going to walk to Stone’s during study hall for a sandwich. Do you want to come? It’ll be better than that crap,” he said, pointing to her pizza.
“I don’t have study hall. I’m only in eighth grade.” Why did she say that? What a loser. Jenny cringed.
“Right,” he said.
“I can skip, though. It’s just health class,” Jenny course-corrected. She was too flattered by the invitation to consider the consequences of her actions, or the motives of his.
“Really? That’s badass.”
Jenny beamed.
“Meet me behind the shed by the soccer field. Do you know where that is? Where the losers go to smoke.”
“I know where it is.”
“Cool, see you there.” Kevin smiled like even his face had perfectly toned muscles. He pushed off the table as he stood, causing his arm muscles to flex. Jenny couldn’t fathom taking another bite of cold pizza. Her heart was beating out of her chest.
JENNY MARCHED PAST THE DOOR to health class and into the bathroom. She looked in the mirror. She had stopped wearing makeup and regretted it. Her face looked plain. She looked young and washed out from lack of sleep. At least she had her hair, soft blonde waves that didn’t suffer at all from her neglect. She ran her hand through, fixing the inconsistent part that rested just off center. This was what she looked like. It would have to do.
She hustled across the parking lot. There was no one in sight. The last thing she wanted was to be caught. She didn’t even know what she was getting into. Did Kevin Neary actually like her? She thought about JP. Was she cheating on him? No. They weren’t even anything official, and she wasn’t doing anything anyway. Just going to get a sandwich.
If Kevin Neary was her boyfriend, she would be the most popular girl in the entire school, but that’s not what she cared about, right? What was she even doing? She and JP finally had a plan to get the money; things were in motion, and now she was second-guessing her life strategy. She couldn’t even think straight. She was acting exactly like a teenage girl, but that awareness wasn’t stopping her; it was Kevin Neary.
She reached the shed and walked around to the back. There was no one there, just a lot of cigarette butts mixed into the wood chips. She had really hoped she wouldn’t get there first. She didn’t want to seem desperate. She debated running back to the parking lot and hiding behind a car, but before she could decide what to do, she heard footsteps.
Mallory Murphy stepped around the corner. Then three more girls: Nora, Liz, and Laura. All four were at Jenny’s birthday party last year.
“Hi, Jenny,” Mallory said, coming to a stop right in front of her.
“Hey.”
“What are you doing out here?”
“Nothing,” Jenny said, kicking at the ground.
Mallory looked back at her three groupies, and they snickered. “That’s not what I heard. I heard you came here to meet Kevin Neary.”
It was a trap. The whole thing was a trap because Jenny had rejected them, abandoned their plans for lifelong friendship without explanation. She didn’t respond. She’d let them have this. It was the least she could do. Soon she would be gone. They had to live this life forever.
“What did you think? He liked you? He asked me to homecoming, you know? Christine set it up.” Mallory had cool high school friends that she was desperately trying to fill the void with. Jenny could see the pleasure in her eyes when she said Christine’s name.
Jenny stayed silent. She had no desire to be a part of this.
“Say something,” Mallory demanded. “You’re so weird now, Jenny. What happened? Did you get, like, molested or something?” The girls all laughed at the most distasteful joke ever made.
Jenny rolled her eyes at their stupidity, which did not sit well with Mallory.
“You aren’t even pretty anymore,” Mallory felt the need to point out.
“I don’t care.”
“Of course you care. No one wants to be an ugly slut.”
Jenny went to walk away, but the three other girls had circled her, forcing her to turn back to their leader. Jenny had had it. Mallory had no idea who she was messing with. Jenny had to deal with Linda. Did Mallory really think she would be afraid of her? “Fuck off, Mallory,” she suggested.
“Excuse me?”
“Fuck. Off.”
Mallory stepped forward and shoved Jenny on the shoulder. Her stocky little gymnast body packed quite the punch. Jenny wanted to punch her in the nose, but she was outnumbered. She stared into Mallory’s eyes for a hint of what she was thinking.
There were footsteps before there was an answer.
“You all better get the fuck out of here,” JP said, stepping into their view from behind the shed, then flicking his cigarette to the ground and stomping it out.
Mallory hesitated, weighing her options. JP didn’t play by the rules and she couldn’t risk it. “Whatever,” she muttered, stepping away from Jenny.
The girls filed past JP one at a time until it was Mallory’s turn. She brushed past him, making contact in an attempt to maintain the upper hand, but JP grabbed her arm, halting her steps and her nonsense.
“You are a twisted little fuck,” he stated as a fact.
Mallory’s face contorted and landed somewhere between disgust and fear.
“Let go of me,” she demanded.
“Why? Am I making you uncomfortable? Do you have a crush on me, Mallory? Do you want me to touch you?” He moved his other hand to her face.
“No.” Mallory swung her arm around to slap his hand away. “You’re disgusting!”
“I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole,” he said, releasing her with a shove that set her back a few steps. “Mess with her again and you won’t like it.” He lifted up the front of his shirt, revealing one of his precious knives.
Mallory’s eyes stung with tears against her will.
“Grow up,” JP said and walked away. He said nothing to Jenny. He had done enough.