‘You were telling us about how Jeanie was changing that summer when you were thirteen,’ I said.
It was a few days later, and Beth and I were back in Graham’s place.
‘Ah,’ said Graham. ‘So I was.’
‘And?’ I was trying not to sound impatient.
Graham gave a big sigh. ‘I’m trying to tell the truth about what happened, but I fear you two girls will think less of me when you hear it.’
‘That’s never going to happen,’ said Beth. ‘All this happened like a thousand years ago – and you were still a kid.’
‘And we know you’d never do anything mean,’ I added.
‘That’s very sweet of you,’ said Graham. ‘Wait and hear my story though, before you decide. When I’m finished, maybe you’ll think differently of me.’
‘No way!’ said Beth. ‘But if you don’t get on with the story, we might go ahead and die of boredom or something.’
‘OK, OK,’ he said. ‘If you’re all sitting comfortably, I’ll begin. As I said, Jeanie had been acting strangely, and I was afraid of losing her. It was a lovely sunny day, one of the best we’d had that year. It was already halfway through August, and I had a horrible feeling that things were coming to an end.’
‘How do you mean?’ asked Beth.
‘It’s hard to explain,’ said Graham. ‘I was old enough to understand how seasons come and go, but I couldn’t shake the thought that Jeanie and I would never again share such a perfect summer. It was …’
He closed his eyes, and for a minute it seemed that he wasn’t going to say any more – and there was no way I was going to let that happen.
‘So what happened that day in August?’ I asked.
Graham opened his eyes. ‘Jeanie was listless and just wanted to lie in the sun,’ he said. ‘But I persuaded her to come to our special spot in the woods. We collected blackberries, but even though Jeanie usually competed with me, rushing to fill her basket first, that day she gave up when she’d barely picked a handful of fruit. It seems stupid now, but at the time I was irritated and cross.’
I couldn’t help feeling sorry for the young Graham, confused and afraid of losing his best friend.
‘So what happened next?’ I asked.
Graham didn’t say anything for a long time. When he did speak, it was in a flat, dead kind of voice, like he’d been practising what to say.
‘I suggested that we climb our favourite tree – something Jeanie had always liked doing. She didn’t want to at first, but I … encouraged her. I said she was turning into a coward like her posh friends, and that soon she’d be afraid of her own shadow.’
‘I’m guessing she wasn’t happy about that,’ said Beth.
‘At first she pouted a bit – and then, a second later, it was like a miracle. She tossed her hair and laughed, and in that instant it was as if the old Jeanie had come back to me.
‘I’m not afraid,’ she said. ‘I’m not afraid of anything. I’ll go first and I’ll climb higher than we’ve ever climbed before. You wait here and watch me.’
‘So Jeanie climbed the tree?’ said Beth.
‘Yes,’ said Graham. ‘She climbed the tree – like she had a hundred times before – when she was almost at the top she clung to the last substantial branch and shouted down to me. “It’s glorious up here,’ she said. ‘I feel as if I’m flying. Come join me – there’s room for both of us.”’
‘And?’ I said.
‘And in that moment everything in my world was good again,’ said Graham. ‘It was as if the sun had been hiding behind a cloud, and now it had re-emerged and was bathing me in its beautiful warmth. Jeanie was happy and wild and brave. She wanted me to be with her, and there was a whole future of adventure and friendship waiting for us.’
It all sounded wonderful – except for the fact that Beth and I already knew that things weren’t going to turn out the way Graham hoped.
‘So I started to climb,’ said Graham. ‘I couldn’t wait to get close to her … and I was concentrating on finding good foot and hand-holds, so … so I didn’t even see what happened. Maybe a branch broke, or maybe she lost her grip – all I knew was that Jeanie made a small, surprised cry, and then she was tumbling past me. I leaned out and grabbed her, but the momentum was too much and her hand slipped from mine – and she continued to fall, and fall and fall, until she hit the ground with a soft thud.’
‘That’s so scary,’ said Beth.
‘I went into a complete panic,’ said Graham. ‘I scrambled down from the tree, and ran to where she was lying. She was still and pale, almost as if she were asleep. I touched her arm, but she didn’t move. I ran to the nearest house and they called an ambulance. I ran back to Jeanie, and stroked her hair and whispered to her. It felt like a lifetime, but it was probably only minutes before the ambulance showed up. Someone had called Jeanie’s parents, but the ambulance arrived before they got there.’
‘And did Jeanie wake up? I asked.
He shook his head. ‘I watched as they put the stretcher into the ambulance, but she remained perfectly still. I wanted to travel with her, but the ambulance men wouldn’t let me. They told me to “run away home”. So that’s what I did – and … I never saw my lovely friend again.’
‘And what did your parents say when you got home?’ I asked.
‘Well, here’s the thing,’ said Graham. ‘I never told my parents what happened.’
‘You never …?’ said Beth. ‘But …’
‘You have no idea how bad I felt that day. Jeanie was my best friend, and she had fallen because of me. If I hadn’t teased her about being a coward, she never would have climbed the tree. She never would have …’ Graham put his head in his hands. ‘The whole thing was all my fault. I was so ashamed.’
‘But that’s crazy, Graham,’ said Beth. ‘You can’t blame yourself! Kids tease each other all the time.’
‘It’s what kids do,’ I agreed. ‘How could you have known that Jeanie was going to fall? How could you—?’
Now Graham looked up at us, and his huge, sad brown eyes made me want to cry. ‘I was older than her,’ he said softly. ‘I should have known better. I should have looked out for her – but I didn’t. Now if you two girls don’t mind, I think I need to be on my own now.’
Beth and I so didn’t want to leave him, but he ignored all of our arguments.
‘I’ve never told that story to a single soul,’ he said. ‘And maybe talking helps in the long run, but I confess that right now I don’t feel entirely wonderful, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to lie down for a while.’
‘Can we call again tomorrow?’ asked Beth as he walked us to the door.
‘Well, I’m not really…..’
‘If you don’t promise that we can visit tomorrow, then we’re not leaving you,’ I said. I don’t usually talk to adults like that, but Graham wasn’t like all the other adults – which might be why Beth and I loved him so much.
‘OK, I give in,’ said Graham, giving the tiniest flicker of a smile. ‘You can visit me tomorrow – and in the meantime, don’t worry about me – I’m going to tuck myself up in bed with a good book – a cure for most problems.’
So we both hugged him, and then he closed the door behind us.
* * *
Beth spoke first. ‘That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard,’ she said. ‘Imagine the poor boy, feeling guilty for all those years?’
‘I know,’ I said. ‘It’s terrible, but we have to find out what happened next. We know Jeanie didn’t die that day – because that only happened this year. She lived for years and years after the accident. She did sculptures good enough to be displayed in parks. She got to have friends and a dog and everything. So how come Graham never saw her again?’
‘That’s still the mystery,’ said Beth. ‘And I totally hate mysteries.’
‘We have to hear the rest of the story,’ I said. ‘We just have to.’
