Child soldiers walk side by side across the quad in front of me, their cadence perfectly in sync.
Mother joins me a moment later.
“Where is Howard?” I ask.
“We have him. We’re questioning him, making sure we understand the full nature of his involvement with you.”
I imagine Howard being tortured somewhere on this campus where I cannot get to him.
“Why don’t you question me instead? I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“You’ll tell us and he’ll tell us. Then we’ll compare the stories. You know that’s the only way.”
I clench my fists, trying to keep myself from doing or saying anything that might put Howard at greater jeopardy.
“Why did you take me into the gym, Mother?”
“I wanted you to know the truth.”
“What truth? That I’m fallible? That I can be fooled so easily by an agent?”
“I wanted you to know that my goal was to keep you alive. I did everything in my power to do so.”
“If you were trying to keep me alive, why was Mike trying to kill me?”
Mother’s eyelid flutters, but just barely. It’s enough to suggest she might be surprised by what I’ve said. But she recovers quickly.
“Perhaps it seemed like he was trying to kill you, but I would suggest that he was several steps ahead of you, leading you where he wanted you to go.”
“Like walking a dog.”
Mother shrugs. “Your words, not mine. For my part, I was trying to bring you back to us by any means necessary. I did so at great expense to The Program. I don’t need to remind you of that, do I? Of the losses we’ve suffered because of you?”
She closes her eyes, and a pained expression crosses her face.
“Terrible losses,” she says. “But not insurmountable ones.”
She opens her eyes and looks at me.
“The Program is not one person,” Mother says. “Nobody can be more important than the organization. Not Father, not me. The Program comes first and foremost.”
“Protect The Program.”
“Your first objective, and mine.”
“If the objective is to protect The Program, why did you release my image to the media? The whole world knows my face as the face of a terrorist.”
Mother starts down the steps.
“Perhaps that was an overreaction,” Mother says. “I regret it, but it was not my call.”
Whose call could it have been? Who is more powerful than Mother?
“The good news is faces can be changed,” she says. “As can stories in the media. Mistakes happen all the time.”
Mother begins to walk, gesturing for me to follow her.
“We’ll find a way to make it right,” Mother says. “That is, if you decide to stay with us.”
I look at her, surprised.
“It’s time for you to make a choice about The Program, Zach.”
“A choice? That’s a novel idea.”
I think of the farmhouse not too far from here. That first day with The Program.
Join us or die. That’s what Mother said.
“You were a child then. You can’t give a child real choices. They’re not capable of understanding them. But you’re not a child anymore, are you?”
“No,” I say.
“Today is the day you decide whether you’re going to stay with us.”
“I can be a part of The Program again? Even after all that’s happened?”
“Mike and I have talked a lot about it. He tells me young men have growing pains and we have to allow for that. If The Program doesn’t learn to flex, it will break. That’s Mike’s opinion. He’s urged me to flex in your case.”
“So you would put me back on assignment?”
“Eventually, yes.”
“And if I choose not to stay?”
“You’d be free to forge your own path. If you check your bank balance, you’ll find five hundred thousand dollars in the account, a onetime payment you can use to resettle yourself, go to college, whatever you choose to do. We’ve removed your chip, so we have our property back. We will arrange a new, clean identity for you to start over.”
“Others have left before me?”
Mother shakes her head. “You’d be the first.”
“Why me?”
She smiles like she’s been waiting for this moment. “You already know the answer, don’t you?”
“My father helped to create The Program.”
She nods, indicating the campus with widespread arms.
“Everything around us. It’s all because of him. If you choose to leave, you’re on your own. If you stay—then it’s time for you to learn the truth about your father.”
“Is he alive?” I ask.
“Alive and well.”
“Mike told me he was dead. Tanya said he was a prisoner.”
“Mike was not authorized to tell you the truth. And Tanya does not know the truth.”
“If my father’s alive, I want to see him. I want proof.”
“He wants to see you, too. After all, you’re the soldier who carries his name.”
“I’m his son.”
“His son is a soldier. If you choose to stay a soldier, you can meet him.”
“This is a trick,” I say.
“No trick,” Mother says. “Common sense. It’s for our protection and yours.”
“If my father is alive, he would want to see me whether I was a soldier or not.”
“He hasn’t seen you in five years, has he? He’s been alive that whole time.”
“That’s because you’ve imprisoned him!” I say.
“You think you know the real story, but you have no idea.”
I breathe deeply, trying not to react to Mother’s provocation. I’ve had this same thought a thousand times. If my father were alive, he would have come for me. He would have communicated somehow. He would have tried to save me.
Mother gestures to an ivy-covered building across the way from us.
“What’s your choice going to be?” Mother says.
“I’ll do anything to meet my father,” I say.
Mother smiles.
“Welcome back to The Program,” she says. “You’ll find your father inside.”
I take a step toward the building. My mind rebels, shouting for me to turn back. It’s the same intuition that keeps me safe on missions, the part of me that reacts to threats before they are revealed.
So why is it warning me now?
I set the warning aside and keep moving forward.
A large wooden door fronts the entrance. There is a keypad in the wall of the building, the telltale holes for a laser-detection system bored into the wood frame. This old building has been retrofitted with high-tech security.
I reach out and turn the door handle.
It’s unlocked.