Griff remembered what happened next like it happened yesterday. “Fitted into the SUV was a rack for Shaw’s shotgun. It was a custom job built underneath the bench seat perfectly made. I knew it was there because I’d seen him grab it. So, I took it and by the time I got to Deputy Shaw, he was just sitting there,” he said before shaking his head. “I won’t go into the details but it was the worst thing I’d ever witnessed.”
“I’m so sorry you had to see that,” she said, and meant every word. “I can only imagine how traumatic that must have been for a teenager. No one should have to see something like that.”
“No, they shouldn’t. But, in that moment, I knew being out on the lake partying and being stupid wasn’t what I was going to do the rest of my life. In that instant, I realized I would follow in my father’s footsteps and get justice for Deputy Shaw, his wife and kid, and for the younger brother of his that I’d been on the same sports teams with since I could remember,” he continued.
“Oh, Griff. I can’t even imagine what had to have been going through your mind back then, and yet you were able to turn it around and into your life’s work,” she said. Those words acted like balm to a wounded soul. Had he really ever healed from the experience? Could anyone? Going through something like that, at any age, changed a person.
“Thank you,” he said.
“I mean it. Going through something so traumatic would bring most to their knees. Your strength amazes me,” she said.
This wasn’t a story he told to many people. In fact, the number would fit on one hand. There was something about the sincerity in her words that soothed the place deep inside him. She seemed to understand his pain on a soul-deep level, and his suspicions about trauma in her past were confirmed.
“Means a lot,” he said, clearing the emotion knotting in his throat. A large part of the reason Griff didn’t tell people about that story in his past was because even hearing the words again caused him to relive it on some level. The experience gave him purpose. For that, he would be forever grateful. But there was nothing about losing Deputy Shaw that made the lesson worth it.
In senseless times, he’d learned to find something to hang onto in the situation, some thread that kept his sanity intact and his anger from exploding. In this case, he’d sworn to do right by Deputy Shaw’s widow, and had delivered on that promise and then some.
“What happened to her?” Laurel asked and he could tell that she was trying to process the details of what had happened and possibly connect the dots as to aspects of his personality today.
“Mrs. Shaw?” he asked. “She lost the baby. Some folks say it was due to grief. I wouldn’t argue that point. The baby was born three months premature and there wasn’t much doctors could do to save the child, even though specialists were flown in from Dallas and Houston. And then, Cynthia Shaw had a real rough go of it for several years after losing a baby and her husband. But then, she slowly started picking up the pieces of her life. By the time I was twenty, she started dating a baker. Said she wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not he came home from the bakery. His schedule was predictable, his job was as safe as it could be, and he was a good person inside and out. They had a family together.”
He skipped over the part about sending her money every month out of his own savings until she’d married the baker.
Laurel sat there in silence, hands clasped in her lap for several minutes as they approached the parking lot.
“You helped her out, didn’t you?” she asked, when she finally spoke.
“I checked in on her. I needed to know that she ended up okay,” he admitted.
“I can tell that you did a whole lot more than that,” she began. “But you don’t have to share the details with me.” She paused for a few beats. “It’s enough for me to know you’re an incredible human being. Not many sixteen-year-olds have walked out of that kind of experience and turned it into their life’s work. You took a job that gives justice to people. Very few would have even visited the widow, let alone support her emotionally and, I’m guessing, financially. But I think you’re too humble to talk about it.”
“Believe it or not, as much as I appreciate what you’re saying, I didn’t do all those things to impress other people, and I especially didn’t do it for bragging rights,” he stated. He’d done everything under the radar. The money came in the form of cash, so the bank cashiers wouldn’t see Cynthia bringing in a check from him to deposit. The way he saw it, helping out financially was the least he could do.
Did he feel a sense of guilt over witnessing Deputy Shaw’s death? There was no denying it had stuck with him over the years.
“I know,” she said, nodding her head. “I feel like I maybe learned this lesson a little bit later than most, but I judge a person’s character by their actions and not their words. It’s a trap that I believe a lot of honest people fall into. Or maybe I just want to believe I’m not the only one who didn’t. Your actions tell me everything that I need to know about whether or not you’re a good person. And in my book, someone who goes out of their way for years to help another person is practically a saint.”
Griff shook his head and stomped his brakes as the truck in front of him made a quick stop.
“That’s a lesson we all seem to have to learn the hard way,” Griff said. Based on what Laurel had just said, there was definitely someone in her life, her past, who’d not just hurt her but put that fear in her eyes. Griff’s fingers tightened around the steering wheel because his thoughts snapped to someone she was close to, someone she was in a relationship with. Nine times out of ten, it was the person closest to a woman who assaulted her. It was awful and made him want to put his fist through a wall that someone who was supposed to love and protect another person would be their biggest threat.
Again, his experience had taught him just how cruel humans could be to one another. It was also the reason he made a very strong effort to get out into the community and participate in things like this festival, not just as a law enforcement officer, but as a human being. It was very important to Griff to get to see and connect with the reason he put his life on the line, and that was to protect the good people out there. To be reminded who they were, see their faces enjoying what they loved to do most.
It would be far too easy to get caught up with the small percentage of bad people out there preying on good folks, and start thinking that was normal. He imagined it was not unlike a soldier, if he or she let themselves stay away too long from what they were serving and protecting. They could lose focus and start believing everyone is bad and everyone is out to hurt others. It was also the reason he’d been close with his cousins. His uncle might have been a bona fide jerk for most of his life, but that had caused him and his brothers to circle the wagons and look out for each other more. They didn’t exactly have a parent figure to rely on.
“Let me know if you spot a good parking space,” he said, changing the subject. Considering Laurel’s mood had intensified, he wanted to find a lighter topic. Their conversation had gone down a different path and he wanted to see her smile again instead of frown. The few times he’d seen her really smile, the way she lit up, caused him to smile in return. Something told him, probably a combination of hard-won experience combined with instinct, this beautiful person didn’t laugh nearly enough. He wanted to change that fact and see her eyes light up again, even if it was only for a few seconds.
“There’s a spot,” she said pointing to the next aisle over.
The parking lot filled with vehicles reminded him of an ant farm.
“If I can get over there, it’s ours,” he said as he navigated around a car with its flashers on, indicating it had found a spot.
Griff passed two more vehicles, narrowly missing the sideview mirror of an SUV. Laurel’s revelation sat heavy on his chest and in his heart. The implication behind it explained the haunted look in her eyes.
By the time Griff made it around to the parking spot, a zippy little Nissan Rogue beat him to it.
“Over there,” she said, pointing to another one.
“We’ll give it a whirl,” he said, feeling like a mouse stuck in a maze, trying to be the first to the cheese.
At this point, his hopes of being first to a spot had dimmed considerably. His point was proved when a BMW came from seemingly nowhere to grab the spot first. Griff was unfazed.
“I’m surprised the traffic is so heavy this long after the opening. They usually let cars in an hour before the gates open to alleviate some of this,” he said. “We might have been better off parking in the field and walking.”
“We can always double back,” she offered.
“It might be faster than this,” he stated.
“To the field it is,” she said with a small smile. It was an improvement, and he’d take it. Plus, this would give them a little more time in the truck to talk.
“What about you, by the way?” he asked. “Any siblings?”
“No. I was brought up by my grandmother,” she said. “I might have half-siblings out there somewhere, but I have no idea if they exist and who they are if they do.”
He nodded, and then waited. Peppering her with questions would put her on the defensive. In Griff’s experience, silence was sometimes the best way to get someone to start talking.
A few seconds ticked by. Then, a few more as he navigated toward the exit.
“I secretly always wished for a big family,” she said. “I’ve never told anyone that and I’m not sure why I’m saying it to you. But, I always wanted sisters and brothers.”
“Coming from a large family, I can tell you there are pluses and minuses,” he said.
“Mostly pluses, right?”
“In my case, yes,” he admitted.
“There would always be someone around to play with,” she continued, and there was a whole lot more animation in her voice and on her facial expression now. She lit up like a string of lights during the holiday season.
“True enough,” he agreed.
“And help around the house,” she said.
“Or in my case, helping around the ranch,” he stated.
“That must have been wonderful,” she said.
“There were certainly wonderful times.”
“With all those people around, there must not have been any—”
“Privacy,” he interjected.
“Oh.” Her forehead wrinkled. “I was going to say loneliness. But, I’m sure both are true.”
Griff felt his muscles tense at the revelation. No one deserved to be lonely in life, least of all someone as thoughtful and kind as Laurel.
“You know, I’ve been in a room full of people before and still felt lonely. Funny how that works,” he said.
“When I really think about it, that’s true,” she said after a thoughtful pause. “I think I fell into the trap of the grass being greener on the other side.”
“I wouldn’t trade the way I grew up for anything,” he said, wishing she could have experienced the same thing. “There were definitely some downsides, as I’m sure there are in every family. But I always had a friend around and couldn’t be closer with my cousins and brothers. Despite my father and uncle doing nothing but fighting their entire lives, their attitude didn’t trickle down to us. Maybe because we grew up watching two brothers take opposite sides just for the sake of it. Seeing what that did to their relationships, or should I say non-relationship, caused us to follow a different blueprint.”
“In my fantasy, everyone got along in a big family. Pretty Sound of Music when I really think about it,” she said.
He glanced over in time to see that red blush crawl to her cheeks again.
“Well, I grew up with a whole lot of young boys, teenage boys, and there was a lot of teasing and barn fights where we had to find a substitute for snowballs, if you know what I mean,” he said with a chuckle.
“Horse manure?”
“You can throw it far if it’s dry,” he said. “Besides, we always had on gloves when we were working in the barn, so it wasn’t as gross to pick it up as one might think. Looking back, when it’s put like that, we were hellions. I’m not sure how anyone put up with us.”
“Did you grow up at the ranch?” she asked. The amusement in her voice said she enjoyed the barn story, much to his relief.
“I did, and I spent a whole lot of time in the barn, especially when things got rough at home. Being sheriff comes with a lot of stress and there’s a reason the divorce rate is so high among law enforcement officers,” he said.
“The stress must be unimaginable at times,” she stated, but there was a cold undertone to her voice that made him believe she’d had a not-so-great run-in with someone who was sworn to uphold the law.
Griff didn’t know much about the mystery woman in his passenger seat. He counted himself a decent judge of character and all the feedback about her in town corroborated his belief. His mind snapped to her possibly having dated someone on the job and having a bad experience. And yet, wouldn’t she be more afraid of him than she seemed to be if that was true?
“I see you weren’t the only one with this brilliant idea,” she said, nodding toward the pair of trucks already parked.
“Now you know these people are seasoned festival goers,” he said as he parked. He hopped out quickly to open her door, not because she couldn’t do it for herself but because he lived by a code that said he was a gentleman. Chivalry was not dead. It was up to whoever sat in the passenger seat to accept or decline the gesture.
Laurel allowed Griff to open the passenger door for her, thinking it was a nice change of pace from the last person she’d dated. She glanced around wearily, looking for anyone who ducked behind a car quickly as her gaze swept the area. She’d had a short break in recent months from this level of paranoia, but the day’s events were catching up to her and had triggered her alert system.
No matter how much she tried to shake off the feeling, she had the sensation of fire ants walking across her skin. The main thing holding her together was Griff’s steady hand that she took as she exited the truck. He closed the door and locked the vehicle behind them.
Laurel walked so close to Griff, they were literally arm-to-arm and bumping against each other with each step. He reached for her hand the moment she reached for his, and they linked their fingers after contact. And boy, what contact that was. Being skin-to-skin brought a ripple of awareness up her arm and through her body, spreading warmth through her. She had that tingly feeling as she tried to adjust to being so close to Griff’s strong, male presence—a presence that could fill a room. Thankfully, they were outdoors where some of the heat and chemistry pinging between them could dissipate.
She brought her other hand up across her body to hold onto his forearm.
There was a sea of Stetsons, cowgirl boots, and denim. There was something calming and relaxing about it all and the feel of being back in Texas. It felt good to be outside again, no matter how much her fear response wanted to make her turn tail and run.
She was determined to go out in public again. It had been nine long months that she’d been hiding from everyone and everything. And then two years before that, she’d been watching every step, careful not to go into public any more than she had to, including going into the grocery store. She’d even had to start getting nearly all of her household supplies delivered in order to avoid running into any one of Timothy’s old friends, or the guys he hung out with, or worse yet, his parents.
Not that they would be inside a grocery store doing their own shopping, but they would be at the mall or one of the popular restaurants in the area. Laurel had become the queen of takeout on the days she didn’t have it in her to cook for herself. Marissa and her family had been amazing. But the rest of town had been against her and very firmly on Timothy’s side.
There was something freeing about being in this crowd where no one knew her or anything about her past, and especially about the horrific trauma that always seemed to be one step behind her.
Here, no one looked at her with disgust or anger. Here, she could just blend right into the crowd. There was something beautiful about that.
As they neared the ticket booth, Griff turned to her and asked, “Since I invited you to come with me today, I’d like to pay for your ticket inside. But I wanted to check with you first, and make sure you are okay with that.”
“Sure,” she said. “It doesn’t offend me in the least.” In fact, she appreciated him even more for asking, and not just assuming he had to cover all of her expenses. Then again, there was something incredibly special about Griff, that she realized were the kinds of qualities that didn’t come around in a person often in one lifetime. He was the total package and a piece of her wished she could stick around Gunner and continue to get to know him.
The dark clouds would close in soon, though. She was already jumpy and fearful, which usually meant it was time to move on from a place. The shadow sighting this morning might have been a signal she was getting too comfortable here.
And as much as she wanted to plant roots somewhere, she knew better than to let her guard down for long. In St. Louis, the first city she’d tried to get lost in on her way to Texas, it had only taken a week for Timothy’s best friend to appear at the diner where she’d taken a job as a hostess. Thankfully, she’d come in through the back door and heard his voice right away.
Her exit from the building had been swift, and she’d gone undetected. He’d made the reason for his stop clear when she’d overheard him asking if someone by her description worked there and, if so, when her next shift was.
Another stroke of luck had come when Roseanne, the hostess who was on duty at the time, had said the schedule hadn’t come out yet but that Laurel wasn’t due in that day. She could kiss Roseanne for covering.
Laurel hadn’t waited around to hear James’ response. She’d bolted through the kitchen, hopped into the car she’d rented, and headed west to throw him off her trail. She’d racked her brain trying to figure out how he’d found her. Then, her mistake had glared at her when she stopped to fill up the tank. She’d kept one credit card that had been from an account she was authorized to use from her grandmother. Thinking it would be safe to use since it wasn’t technically in her name, she’d purchased gas with it.
Clearly, she’d thought wrong, and James Whitney had found her. Timothy had the kinds of friends who vowed to take care of each other. The fact they’d seemed willing to go through thick and thin together had drawn her toward Timothy initially. Of course, she’d had no idea the bond was less like brothers and more like gang members. There had been a bond thicker than blood between them.
Now? She realized just how far they would go for revenge. Being on the flip side of the coin, she got a bird’s eye view of the wrath that came with hurting one of their own. She was an outsider, an outcast, and someone to be ‘handled’ or ‘taken care of.’
Laurel felt a pair of eyes boring holes through her from somewhere behind as a familiar cold chill raced down her back.