I never imagined this would be my life. It’s not that I thought it would be better . . . only that it would be a whole lot different.
JACOB SCHROCK
Jacob was not living the life he’d dreamed of as a child. When he was small, he’d planned to raise horses, perhaps even move to one of the fancy horse farms near Louisville or Lexington and be a trainer, groomer, or farrier.
But little by little, his father had divested him of that dream. When Jacob was a boy, his daed had kept him close to his side at the store. Every day, his father would give him a lesson about running the place, and though Jacob had never been interested in being a shopkeeper, he’d slowly learned how to be a good one.
With a mixture of folksy sayings and true warmth, Aaron Schrock had made each customer feel as if he or she had stumbled into a cozy treasure trove of unique goods and practical necessities, all wrapped in a tidy knot of friendly warmth.
Jacob had often felt that way at home as well. His mother had been the practical enforcer, and although she’d kept her standards high and did her best to make sure Jacob met those expectations, she’d also been free with her hugs and jokes.
He’d been happy.
Looking back, Jacob realized he’d grown up in a cocoon of security. After he’d given up his dream of raising horses, he’d been secure in the knowledge that he would take over the store one day. Furthermore, all of his childhood memories seemed to be bunched together in a jumbled mass of happy times and laughter.
He had been blessed, and he knew that.
Now, however, he’d never felt more alone. With his father in prison and his mother off visiting their extended family in Holmes County, Jacob was left to bear all of the responsibility for the store. Though he’d spent much of his life preparing for it, the weight of the burden almost immobilized him.
What if he couldn’t continue the store’s success? What if everyone in the area found him lacking, or if the legacy of all that had happened with Perry Borntrager was too much to accept? What would he do then? How would he take care of Deborah if the store went bankrupt?
Here in the near-empty store, he wished he could find something to replace the confidence he used to have in spades.
“Your problem, I think, is that there are no critters in here,” Sheriff Mose Kramer said as he wandered up to the counter with a plastic basket full of baking products.
Jacob pulled the basket close and started punching in the prices for chocolate, sugar, and green and red candies on the ancient cash register. “My problem?”
“Yep,” Mose drawled, eyeing the store with a critical eye. “I was wandering around here, wondering what felt different, when I realized that it was altogether too quiet. That’s when I realized that you don’t have any cats or dogs or hamsters in cages. You should get on that, Jacob.”
“The critters were my father’s doing, not mine.”
“Oh, I know that. Of course they were your father’s doing. He always had a soft heart for animals and a keen mind for business.”
“That is true.”
Mose flashed a smile. “Those animals sure kept things lively. They were a topic of conversation around town, too. Folks would sit at the Marion Cafe, or Mary King’s Restaurant or even at the gas station and talk about what confounded new animal Schrock had brought in.”
The reminder of his father stung. “It’s eighteen dollars.” When the sheriff handed him a canvas bag, he began to put the items inside. “Looks like you’re doing some baking?”
“I, uh, found an easy recipe for Christmas fudge. I thought I’d give it a try.”
“Good luck with that.” It was far easier to concentrate on Mose in the kitchen instead of the emptiness in his heart. He felt like he was living a complete lie. This was the man who’d brought him in for questioning, then actually arrested his father, and here Jacob was talking with him about the atmosphere in his family’s store.
Mose handed him a twenty-dollar bill. “So, don’t keep me waiting. What do you think about my idea? A few animals might liven things up, right?”
“It’s a gut idea, but not one I’m ready to take on. Those animals were troublesome. And their antics created a lot of work. You know, it’s just me and Deborah here now,” he said as he passed back the change. “Everything is different now.”
Mose ignored the two dollar bills and eyed Jacob intently instead. “It doesn’t have to be that way.”
“It does. I can’t afford any more employees right now.” In addition to sales being down, they had a pile of lawyers’ bills to pay. Every extra penny had to go to them.
“You might be able to afford more if you did things a bit differently.”
Jacob kept his mouth shut because he didn’t want to get into things that weren’t any of Mose’s business. “Thank you for coming in. I hope the fudge turns out.”
But instead of taking his not-so-subtle hint, Mose looked pained. “Son, I’ve known you a long time.” He rested his hands on the other side of the counter. “Maybe we should sit down and chat for a bit. We could talk about how you are doing.”
“I’m fine.”
“Married life agreeing with you?”
“Of course. Deborah is great.”
“That she is. And how is your mamm?”
“I haven’t seen her in a few weeks,” he replied, keeping his face carefully blank. “She’s staying for a time with my aunt in Berlin.”
“Ah. Yes, I remember hearing about that now. Berlin is far away.”
“It is.”
“Is she coming back for Christmas?”
“Nee. She’s going to come back after the New Year. But on the way back, I’m sure she’ll stay in a motel near the prison and visit my father for a few days. She’s done that before.” He bit his lip. Would it ever get easier to admit that his father was in prison?
Would it ever get easier to admit that now he and his mother didn’t have much of a relationship? She couldn’t quit being her husband’s greatest advocate.
And he? Well, he couldn’t stop blaming his father for everything.
Mose’s eyes narrowed as he nodded slowly. “Sorry, I know it’s a sore subject. Have you, by any chance, gone to visit your father yet?”
“I have not.”
“You might think on it. I’d even be happy to drive you out there, if you’d like. Dreams arise and problems occur, but family is always family.”
But that was what he was struggling with. He didn’t want to think about his father in prison, and it hurt to think about how close they used to be.
But how did a son admit that? So instead of confiding his troubles to the sheriff, he lashed out instead. “Sheriff, I don’t owe you any more explanations, do I? I thought I was done being questioned.”
Mose stilled, then carefully cleared his expression of all traces of hurt. “Of course you don’t owe me a thing. But I’m more than just the sheriff, Jacob. I’m a friend—at least I thought I was.”
Jacob felt terrible. This wasn’t how he wanted to be. A sense of foreboding filled him as he realized he was slowly losing the slight, tenuous hold he had on himself.
One step at a time, a small but sure voice inside him whispered.
“I’m sorry, Mose. I don’t seem to be myself lately.”
Mose’s gaze softened. He looked like he had a lot to say, but instead he merely put the two dollars that had been lying on the counter back in his wallet.
Just as Mose was reaching for his canvas tote, his cell phone rang. After looking at the screen, he took the call, his expression concerned.
Jacob watched Mose’s face as he spoke to whoever was on the line in a series of short, one-word answers. He looked worried when he clicked off and stuffed the phone back in his jacket.
“Everything okay, Mose?”
“You know, I’m not sure. That was a buddy of mine from Paducah. He heard word that our town might have an unexpected visitor here.”
“What does that mean?”
“Nothing good, I reckon.”
Unexpected? Again? Foreboding filled Jacob as he thought about once again living in uncertainty. “Is it someone dangerous?”
Most stilled. “I don’t think so. But to be honest, I’m going to have to stew on this one for a bit.” He paused. “Sorry, don’t know why I even said a word about that call. But, Jacob, if you do hear of something unusual going on . . . or if you see someone in the store who seems like he shouldn’t be here . . . let me know, wouldja?”
“Sure. I’ll for sure let you know if I see something.”
After picking up the sheriff’s bags, Jacob walked around to the front of the counter. “Here you go, Mose. And, thanks for asking about my family. It means a lot to me, and I know both of my parents will be glad you were thinking of them.”
“I care about you, Jacob. And believe it or not, I still care about Aaron. Your daed was my friend for many years.”
“I still can’t believe he caused so much pain. I would have never guessed it.”
“I’m not defending him, but I should warn ya that I’ve talked to many people who broke the law. It ain’t always a person’s intention to do something illegal. Sometimes people do things without thinking about the consequences.”
Lowering his voice, he added, “I’ve seen the nicest men and women do some terrible things for the best reasons. You just never know what you are capable of until push comes to shove.”
Jacob swallowed as his mouth turned dry. Before he learned to keep his temper under control, he’d said things he wished he could take back. But that was different from what his father had done.
He needed to continue to remind himself of that.
The sheriff’s expression turned sympathetic. “Chin up now, Jacob. You have a new marriage to celebrate, and your first Christmas together, to boot. That’s something not to take for granted.”
“I don’t. Deborah means to the world to me.”
Mose rapped his knuckles on the counter. “That’s good to hear. Well, in case we don’t see each other, Merry Christmas!”
“And Merry Christmas to you,” Jacob murmured as the man left and the store fell empty again.
As he gazed at the neat shelves, the clean counters, and the carefully swept floors, Jacob suddenly realized that it did feel different from the way it had when his father was there.
He’d assumed the quiet was from the lack of customers. But maybe Mose had a point. Maybe the store was missing a bit of chaos that only a container of animals could bring.
As he imagined the mess and the noise and the pandemonium even a hamster could bring to the store, he winced.
He’d suddenly realized that the animals had been nothing compared to his father’s presence in both the store and his life.
His father had been both a source of amusement and support. Folks in the area genuinely liked him, and his laughter could fill the emptiest room with happiness.
Yes, the store did seem quieter without those animals.
But it seemed completely empty without his father.
And, to some extent, so did his life.