HOW DO YOU plan a proposal when your girlfriend knows it’s coming? That has to be the worst decision I’ve ever made: telling her that I would propose. Now, instead of simply surprising her, I have to think of a way to surprise her in such a way where she doesn’t know something is up. At first wind of something unusual, she’s going to suspect what’s about to happen. I want to catch her completely off guard. How in the hell do I plan something like that?

This thinking leads me to call my sister once Meredith has left for work. I haven’t talked to her much lately, so it’s time for me to call anyway.

“What do you want?” she answers with the sound of Nicholas wailing in the background.

“That’s no way to greet your brother.”

“It is when he can’t tell his sister he’s back with his no-good ex or that there’s apparently going to be a wedding in the summer!” Looks like she may be more dissatisfied than my mother.

“Don’t call her no-good. We’re happy and you’re going to either be happy about it or keep that shit to yourself.” The last thing I want is to have a pair of Negative Nancys in my ear, especially when they don’t know what I know and they don’t see what I see when it comes to Meredith. I think one reason why it bothers Ashley so much is that she and Meredith became friends when we dated back in high school. I lost my girlfriend, but Ashley lost one of her best friends. Meredith abandoned all of us.

“You can’t tell me when to let go of a grudge,” she grumbles as Nicholas’s crying seems to have died down.

“Are we going to discuss this or are you going to help me with my problem?”

“What problem?” All the anger has left her voice.

Most brothers and sisters probably hate each other at some point, and we had our fair share when we were younger, but ever since I left home for hockey, my sister and I have become close. She’s my go-to when my problems involve a girl. Sometimes, I’ll talk to my parents, but always Ashley first.

“Since you know about the wedding, I’m assuming you also know I haven’t proposed yet.”

“You want to ask me for advice on something involving Meredith? What part about me holding a grudge did you miss, Noah?”

“Do you want me to be happy?” I snap the question at her, reaching my limit of hearing about this. If I can get over it, she sure as hell can too.

Ashley sighs and I hear a giggle from the baby. “Fine. What’s your problem?”

“How do I surprise her with a proposal she knows is coming? She already knows I have a ring, she’s seen it, and she knows I’m planning a proposal. How can I surprise her?”

She takes a minute to think. “The only thing I can think of is if you carried the ring around all the time and whenever there’s a moment when it just hits you how much you love her, drop down on one knee in the middle of whatever’s happening and pop the question. Don’t plan it. Just do it when you can’t imagine waiting another second because you love her so much.”

“Your advice is to not plan it and be completely spontaneous?”

“Do you know of another way to be so sneaky in order to surprise her?” My silence answers her question. “So you’ve forgiven her for everything?”

“I’ve been waiting for her to come back since the day she left. What do you think?”

“I think that sounds too easy and simple.”

That sentence stays with me long after our conversation ends. Some of it has been easy, like us reconnecting rather seamlessly, but there have been bumps too. From me panicking over her leaving for the weekend to her past, not everything has been easy or simple. Meredith feels more secure now that she has a plan, so the hard part is behind us, right?

God, I hope so.

From the moment I saw Meredith play and smile from her victory, I’ve wanted her. Then I got to know her and fell head over skates for her. She’s always been the one. Any attempt at moving forward was a poor one because none of the girls were Mere. There were some good ones that made me feel guilty that I still thought about Meredith as often as I did. Even through the breakup, I held on as tightly as I could from following her career, still talking to her parents, and even attending a few of her matches.

There are parts of her past that bother me when I think about them, but there’s no use in dwelling on it. Everything has worked out. I make my way into our bedroom and to our closet, grabbing the old shoebox. Finding the ring is easy. I set the shoebox back on the shelf and open the ring box.

She deserves better than the ring I was able to purchase when I was eighteen. It’s too simple, too small. But I understand why she wants this one instead of a new one. I’m glad I kept it. Meredith would probably freak if I’d told her I nearly threw the damn thing away after I thought I saw her on campus and screwed up with the redhead by saying Meredith’s name by accident. I was so pissed with myself, but more at Meredith. I had the ring in my hand, ready to toss it into a river near campus, but I just couldn’t do it.

“What are you doing?”

I nearly throw the box at Marc. “What the hell?”

“I texted and said I was coming over. You didn’t answer, but door was unlocked. That for me?” He smirks.

“No.” I hand the box to him and push him out of my bedroom and to the living room. When I see Leo curled up on the couch where I left him, I say, “You’re a terrible guard dog.”

“He stood up and then laid back down,” Marc says, popping the ring box open. “This is the ring you’re going to give Meredith?” he asks with an incredulous tone as we sit down on the couch.

“Shut the hell up. I bought that when I was eighteen. She’s seen it and that’s the one she wants. She wouldn’t let me talk her out of it.”

“Not even to add more stones? She could at least let you upgrade it. This is pitiful.”

I reach over to punch him in the arm and snatch the ring back, slipping the box into my pocket. “Well, it’s what she wants, so shut up.”

“So, you’re going to propose?”

“Yeah, at some point. Keep next August clear so you can be my best man. That’s plenty of notice for you to find a date.”

“It won’t kill me to go solo.” Marc is a bit of an oddball. He rather go alone than ask a random chick to go to an event with him. He’s all about having a serious relationship. Flings aren’t in his vocabulary, which is why I was shocked as hell when he said he slept with a stranger on Halloween.

“You ever find that girl?” I ask.

“Unfortunately not. I asked a few of the guys, but apparently, none of them even remember seeing her. I don’t understand how so many guys missed seeing a woman as hot as she looked. I give up.”

The door to the apartment opens again and we both turn to see Meredith coming in. All of a sudden, Marc is in my lap, his arms around my shoulders, and he’s squealing. Meredith starts laughing.

“What are you guys doing?” she asks, coming to stand in front of us.

Marc grabs her wrist and pulls her into his lap. “He just asked me to be his best man at the wedding and I was overcome with excitement.” He smacks a kiss on her cheek.

“You’re really going to have to stop doing that, Marco,” I say.

“Polo,” Meredith adds with a grin.

“And get off of me.”

“I can’t because Meredith is in my lap.”

That makes Meredith stand and step aside. The moment she’s out of the way, I push him off my lap and into the floor. Marc laughs while Meredith shakes her head at me.

“Don’t be so mean, Noah,” she says, reaching her hands out to help Marc stand. He lets her even though he has no reason to. He grins as he slides an arm around her waist. She looks at him. “I’m glad you’re going to be our best man.” Then she hugs him.

“We have to keep her,” Marc says as he turns their hug into a bear hug. “Can she be my date to the wedding?”

“I think that would give people the wrong impression. Plus, I do have a date already.” Meredith giggles and I just don’t understand what’s happening before my eyes.

“I don’t think we’ll keep you,” I tell Marc.

“No, we have to,” Meredith interrupts his reply. “He’s my favorite.”

“Don’t say that, Mere,” I groan as a ridiculous grin appears on Marc’s face. I’ll never be able to get rid of him unless Meredith wants him to go to because I know he’ll remind me of what she just said.

“I can’t help it. You picked a good friend.”

“That’s it,” Marc declares. “I’m claiming her as family. You, Meredith, get to be the sister I never wanted, but now am glad to have.”

Suddenly, Marc releases his hold on Meredith and holds his hands up in surrender. Meredith shakes her head and glances at me. He’s brought tears to her eyes. Marc can’t stand tears. He swears it brings out his inner knight in shining armor who must fix everything that’s wrong. He nudges her toward me, but she turns and hugs him.

“Right back at ya,” I hear her whisper.

“Okay, end the love fest before I throw up or punch Marco in the face,” I say as I stand. “Let’s go out to eat.”

But first, we have to take Leo for a walk. Meredith promises she’ll be done with her shower in five minutes. Marc and I take Leo for his walk in the meantime.

“Would you really punch me?” he asks.

I laugh. “Maybe if you were particularly annoying. I know a large part of how you are with Meredith is to piss me off, but I also know you’re basically going to be a brother-in-law to her. We just need to get you a woman before you start having funny thoughts about mine.”

I’m half-serious because how can anyone not fall in love with Meredith, but it’s good that Marc knows I’m joking too. He laughs. “Trust me, I can’t think about anyone but Ivy, or whatever her name is. This is why flings are a bad idea.” He groans and runs his hand through his hair.

“Man, you’ve got it bad.”

“I know!” he grits with frustration. “It’s fucking stupid because there wasn’t anything of substance about our conversation and the sex was in my fucking truck and way too short. What is there to continue thinking about? But I’ll be damned if those hazel eyes aren’t haunting me every chance they get. I swear, if I ever see that woman again, she’s not going to be able to run away from me.”

“Well, good luck with that.”

We make our way back to the apartment where we find Meredith trying to fluff her wet hair. I’m surprised she’s ready. Why couldn’t she be that fast back in high school? We’d have more time to make out. She puts Leo in his crate and then we’re leaving for a fun dinner, where I notice her absentmindedly rubbing her shoulder often.

It makes me think I was right. She’s been getting back into the groove of training and her body just can’t handle it anymore. If she keeps on, she’s going to do more harm to her shoulder. At some point, I’m going to have to mention it to her.

Based on our last conversation, I’m dreading when the time comes for that. It’s there in the back of my mind that an argument over how I think she should stop her training and officially retire could possibly be disastrous to our relationship. Anxiety begins to build inside me. Meredith left me to pursue her career.

Who’s to say she won’t do it again when I tell her I disapprove of her trying to make her comeback? She’s so damn determined to try. She’s made a decent enough attempt and it’s not working. This stays on my mind into the next morning. When Meredith leaves for her PT session, I call the therapist I referred her to.

“Hello?”

“Hey, this is Noah Ramsey; I sent Meredith Quick to you.”

“Oh, yes. How can I help you?”

“Are you able to tell me anything about her sessions?”

There’s a brief pause. “Your name is listed as someone I can discuss her progress with, but I’m afraid I can’t tell you much. She hasn’t been to a session in two weeks.”

Fuck. “Does she have an appointment with you this morning?”

“No.”

Damn it! “Based on working with her, do you think her shoulder can handle her returning to play professionally?”

The woman clears her throat. “No. I told her this as well. She can do a few things, but if her shoulder could handle her playing pro again, her PT would have ended by now. Frankly, I think she could use some more sessions. If she starts trying to get back into shape and ready to play, she’s going to damage her shoulder more. What strength she’s recovered will start to disappear and she’ll start having issues again.”

“Thank you for answering my questions.”

“No problem.”

We hang up and my worrying expands greatly. She’s stopped attending PT. She’s probably training instead. Somehow, I’m going to have to bring this up to her at some point. I just hope I don’t lose her when I do.

 

 

Friday is here before I know it. Aside from hockey, I spent time with Leo while Meredith was at work and sneaking off to train. Once, I went to a tennis match and watched those girls play hard. It was fantastic to watch Meredith in her element. I’m really hoping I can convince her to offer private lessons. She can do that, even if she doesn’t play. I wish she’d agree to do that and start obsessively planning how she would do it. It would be a relief to watch her plan things again.

That is such a huge part of Meredith’s personality. She would even try to plan things for me when we were together in high school. That was one of her reasons as to why I shouldn’t get her name tattooed on my chest. She thought I was being impulsive and that freaked her out just as much as if it was her who woke up and wanted to get my name tattooed onto her body.

There was nothing impulsive about it. Well, there was a little bit. The difference is any impulsive decisions I make are based on my gut reaction, which usually pays off. Meredith often makes impulsive decisions because she’s scrambling for a short-term solution to make her feel better. Like coming here and then getting Leo. Luckily, those paid off for her.

Tonight, we’re playing a team from Texas. It’s going to be a tough matchup. Meredith is supposed to leave practice to have dinner with Sylvia and Theresa before coming here and catching a ride home with me. I’m glad she’s making friends with some of the women. She’s enjoyed taking a photo of us every other day for my social media thing, too, sometimes posting on her own instead. They’re trying to talk me into Twitter, but I keep saying no. One account is enough for me right now.

Pregame rituals are soon over and we’re standing on the ice, waiting for the national anthem to be sung. I bend my head with my eyes closed as if in prayer. For a brief moment, a touch of guilt plagues me. Being able to stand on a slab of ice with the logo of a pro team in the middle, with that same logo on my chest, is a dream come true for me. Every time I put on clothes with such a logo on, be it a uniform, a hoodie, T-shirt, or gym shorts, a thrill runs through me. It never gets old.

Meredith doesn’t have this.

My guilt dissipates knowing she’s found an alternative that makes her equally happy, even though she’s clinging on to her pro career.

The moment that last note begins to fade, my mind turns to hockey and my job. It’s like a cue for my body to start pumping adrenaline. The crowd roars as we prepared for the center ice face-off. Admittedly, there’s a lot of green, but there seems to be an equal amount of navy as well. It’s a fast game right off the bat with us going from one end to the other and back, chasing whoever has the puck.

Unfortunately, our speed isn’t very fast, especially not compared to the opposition. I take a seat on the bench since my shift has ended and two seconds later, I see Savage scrambling to get back into position. It takes him a second too long. The puck bounces, wobbling from side to side and dances across the red line.

Down one-zero.

Not a great start.