Devon’s eyes drooped for lack of sleep, but he had no choice. Wednesday at nine he was to pick up Kaylee. He couldn’t disappoint her. He’d make sure he got to bed early tonight. He’d reviewed his plan until he felt confident Renee couldn’t back away from the answers he needed to hear. The only other solution was that Gina greeted him when he arrived.
He spotted the neat brick house, lawn freshly mowed and a few flowers in beds along the front. His palms grew damp as he pulled into the driveway, but he knew what he had to do. He turned off the engine and opened the car door.
As he stepped out, Kaylee came through the front doorway, her overnight bag in her hand. His mouth sagged as he watched Renee give him a wave, say goodbye to Kaylee and close the door. His arms dropped to his sides, startled at her abrupt appearance.
“Hi, sweetheart.” He managed to grin at her before his attention shot again to the closed front door. “What’s wrong with your aunt Renee?”
“She’s late for work.” She scooted past him and hurried to the passenger side.
He followed her, took her luggage and set it in the backseat, then closed the door. He stood a moment watching his planned dialogue fade into dust. Shaking his head, he walked back to the driver’s seat. Before he slid inside, Renee came out the side door.
She gave him a quick glance as she swung open her car door. “I’m late, Devon. Could you hurry?” She motioned him to back up and then slipped into her car, started the engine and began a slow roll down the driveway toward him.
He thought of standing there, forcing a confrontation, but he noticed Kaylee watching him, her expression filled with confusion, and he thought better of it and slipped inside the car. He turned the key and backed into the street, pulling away as Renee sped off in the opposite direction.
When he got his wits, he managed to reach over and pat Kaylee’s leg, offering her the best smile he could manage. “How was your week?”
She told him about playing with a friend down the block, having pizza for dinner one night, and detailed a TV show she’d watched on the kids channel. He only half listened, his mind reeling with his failed plan and longing to talk with Ashley about what had happened.
Kaylee stopped her chatter, and he wondered how long she had been silent. He hadn’t noticed. He needed to get a grip. “What do you want to do today?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
He didn’t know either, and though he didn’t have to entertain her, he had the urge to help her enjoy the time with him. His sleep could wait.
“Let’s go to a bookstore and buy some new books for you, and maybe we can find some harder puzzles somewhere.”
“Okay.” Her tone perked up, and he relaxed, slipping into his thoughts while she played with the radio dial, punching buttons, listening to part of a tune and trying another station.
They pulled into a mall that had both a toy store and a bookstore, and he unlocked the doors and met her on the passenger side. Inside the bookstore, she wandered from row to row, scanning the books. He studied a few, looking for ones that would help her learn to read.
“Here’s one, Kaylee. I think you could sound out the words.” He’d noticed the short, rhyming words. Cat. Hat. He tucked the book under his arm.
“I have this one, Daddy.” Kaylee showed him a book with a monkey dressed in a birthday hat.
“Can you read that one?”
She shook her head. “Too hard, but Aunt Renee reads it to me at night sometimes before I go to bed.”
Aunt Renee again. “Doesn’t your mom read to you?”
She frowned a moment. “A lot of time she’s sleeping.”
That didn’t sound good, but he knew better than to prod more. “We can buy this one.” He pointed to the book he held. “So you can practice reading words.”
She grinned and dived back into the other selections. After she’d decided on two more, they paid the cashier and headed for the toy store.
Inside, he located the puzzles, and once again, Kaylee studied the pictures. They discussed which ones were too grown-up and which ones would be fun but still challenging. Recalling Joey’s love for puzzles, Devon shifted to another shelf that displayed ones with larger puzzle pieces, one with cartoon trucks and another with barnyard animals. Perfect. He stuck them beneath his arm, too, and when Kaylee found two she wanted, they paid and left the store.
On the way home, she flipped through the books, finding letters she knew and sounding out words as best she could. He listened, but again his concentration was on the situation with her mother. Gina wasn’t doing well still. He’d hoped she would improve during the time she’d been living with her sister. She’d resided away from their home nearly three years, living with Dwight and Renee out of the goodness of their hearts. He’d hoped life would get back to normal for Gina and for Renee. Her husband had to be a saint.
When he arrived home, Devon knew he needed to get out of the funk he was in. Kaylee lived with a mother who spent days bound by depression. She didn’t need a father who couldn’t enjoy life.
Kaylee opened a puzzle and emptied it on the floor. While she was occupied, he headed for the bathroom to wash his face and hands. He needed to wake up and be a fun dad. His mind clicked with possibilities and, of the options, he chose one Kaylee would like. He headed for the kitchen and pulled out a cookbook. He had only one, and it looked new. His cooking was mostly limited to frozen dinners heated in the microwave, although he had to admit his homemade spaghetti had been quite awesome.
He found a recipe and dug around the cabinets for the ingredients—flour, sugar, cocoa, shortening. Surprised, he even found a can of baking powder. He avoided checking the expiration date. Gina may have purchased it years ago.
Before he found the measuring cups, Kaylee bustled into the kitchen.
“This one’s a good puzzle, Daddy.” She nestled beside him, eyeing the counter to see what he was doing.
He searched in a drawer for cups. “Why is it good? You like the picture?”
“It’s harder, but I can do it, I think.” She gave him a quizzical look. “What are you making?”
“A surprise.”
“For me?” Her eyes lit up.
“Sort of, but you’re here now, so it’s not much of a surprise.” He tickled her side, and she jumped.
“What is the surprise?” She slipped the flour bag closer and tried to sound out the word.
“What’s your favorite treat?”
“Hmm?” She tilted her head the same way he’d seen Ashley respond. “Cookies to dunk in milk.”
“I’m making you milk.” He gave her a wink.
“No, you’re not, Daddy. That’s silly. Cows make milk.” She sent him a huge grin that warmed his heart. “You’re making me cookies.”
Hearing her cheerful voice filled him with pleasure. Why couldn’t he be playful like this all the time? “I guess it’s no longer a surprise, is it?”
“I don’t care ’cuz you’re making my favorite.” She turned the sugar bag around and pointed to the letters. “S. U. G. A. R.”
“Right. That’s sugar.” He sounded the letters as he pointed to each one.
“Sugar.” She mimicked him, pointing and sounding the word. When she finished, her interest returned to the baking. “Can I help?”
He envisioned the mess, but it would be worth it. He’d never tried baking with her, but she wasn’t too young to learn. He gave her a hug before finding a clean dish towel, tying it around her waist and getting a stool from the hall closet. “Now you’re ready.”
He helped her measure and let her mix. As the batter plopped out, he scooped the misplaced ingredients from the counter and returned them to the bowl. Concentration showed on Kaylee’s face, and he almost laughed as she frowned and pursed her lips, engrossed in the task.
* * *
Once the cookies were in the oven, Kaylee sat at the table and stared at the oven window anxious to taste her first baking attempt. When she asked for a glass of milk, he sat one in front of her, and then provided a sandwich of chicken with mayo. He joined her, eating one, too. As they ate, the buzzer sounded, and he managed to waylay her from dropping her sandwich and pulling out the cookies to cool. When he finished, he joined her again.
She stretched her neck and peeked at the counter as if she could see whether or not they had cooled. “Are they done now?” He gave up and slipped a warm cookie onto a napkin and set it in front of her. She grasped it, dipped it into the milk and proclaimed it the best cookie of her life.
Devon watched her, thrilled at her jubilance. Today he realized making her day enjoyable with simple activities, even lessons in baking, could uplift them both. “What do you say we take some cookies to Ashley’s house and give the puzzles to Joey. Can we do that?”
She thought a minute. “Can I tell them I baked the cookies?”
“You sure can.”
She nodded in agreement and as she finished the cookie, he packaged some of the treats and rounded up the puzzles for Joey. He’d learned from today. He hoped the positive attitude stuck with them both. He found it too easy to slip into the doldrums.
* * *
Ashley’s pulse skipped when she noticed Devon and Kaylee heading up her sidewalk. She hadn’t seen him since the kiss, and since then, her concern had multiplied. She liked him, admired him and cared, but...every day that passed without hearing from him sent off an alarm. Had he been injured or worse? No one would think to let her know. Why would they? The situation confused her. Joey adored him, and Devon would make a perfect father. Kaylee needed affection, a life that had rhythm and solidarity, a marriage would give the little girl a more secure feeling, based on what she’d learned about Gina’s instability.
But...
The doorbell’s jangle was followed by Devon’s voice calling through a gap in the doorway.
“Come in.” Her pulse skipped as he entered. Kaylee slid in beside him, and instead of the girl’s usual cautious look, her expression seemed more open. “How are you, Kaylee?”
“Fine.” She glanced at her dad, then grinned. “We brought you a present.”
“You did?”
The child nodded and reached up for the package Devon held along with a paper bag with a toy store logo. Something for Joey, she suspected. Kaylee carried the package to her and waited as she opened the sack and pulled out the container of cookies.
“Did you buy me cookies?” Ashley knew they were homemade and suspected the child had helped make them.
“I baked them myself.” She glanced again at her dad, who grinned but slipped in an unnoticed shrug.
“By yourself. Wow. Can I try one?” She lifted the lid while Kaylee encouraged her to take a bite. She did, letting the girl see how much she liked them. “These are the best cookies I’ve ever had.”
“I know.” Pride filled her face.
Devon gave her a poke. “You should say thank-you for the compliment.”
She gave him another look, longer than the last. “Okay.” She turned to Ashley. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” She lowered the container. “Would you like one?”
Devon gave her an approving nod, and Kaylee grasped a cookie and took a bite.
Before Ashley could get the cookies into the kitchen, she heard Joey’s call from the second floor. “He’s awakened from his nap. It’s about time or he won’t sleep tonight.”
Devon motioned to the staircase. “I can get him for you.”
“Would you?” Relieved she didn’t have to maneuver the staircase again, she gestured for him to go ahead. As he ascended the stairs, she rested her hand on Kaylee’s shoulder. “Want to come to the kitchen with me? You can tell me how you made the cookies.”
“Okay.” Kaylee followed her into the kitchen, walking as slowly as she did on crutches.
Ashley’s heart stirred, witnessing the girl’s eagerness to talk about her cookie-making. Such a simple activity but one that she’d enjoyed. If only Devon could find more ways to include Kaylee in his life. Seeing the child at ease lifted Ashley’s spirit. She listened as Kaylee described the measuring and stirring. She did admit her daddy helped when she slopped the dough, and Ashley chuckled and said she’d done that, too. By the time Kaylee had moved on to the shopping spree with her daddy and the new books and puzzles they’d purchased, Devon reappeared carrying Joey.
As soon as he spotted Kaylee watching him, Devon set Joey down and shifted to Kaylee where he gave her a wink. “We have a present for Joey, too.”
Joey’s attention perked. “Present.”
Devon nodded. “I set it on the chair in the living room. Kaylee, will you get it and give it to Joey?”
She skipped off and Joey pattered off behind her. In a moment, he returned with jigsaw pieces in his hand. “Puzzles, Mama.”
“Your favorite. That’s a nice gift.” Kaylee carried in the box lid and Ashley eyed the photo. “And it’s trucks. Can you make it so we can see?”
“Kaylee can help.” He looked at her, and Kaylee seemed pleased.
The children trotted back to the living room, and Ashley motioned to a chair. “Have a seat. I was making a cup of tea. Would you like one?”
“Sure. Any kind. I’m not a connoisseur of tea.” He gave her a wink.
Though he looked pleasant enough, she spotted something in his eyes. Curious, she poured water over two tea bags and slipped a cup in front of him with a saucer between them for the used bags. “Anything new? Did you talk with Renee?”
Devon glanced toward the doorway, apparently making sure Kaylee wasn’t within earshot, and told her what had happened when he picked up the little girl.
“Do you think Renee was really late or being evasive?”
“Maybe a little of both. I didn’t arrive until a little after nine. I don’t know what time she starts work, but she didn’t give me a moment to speak.” He ran his fingers through his hair and looked off in the distance. “I’m not certain what to think.”
“I’m sure it worries you.”
“Kaylee told me how Renee reads to her when she goes to bed.” He frowned and dipped the tea bag up and down in the hot water. “I asked if her mother reads to her.”
“What did she say?” She watched him dunk the bag over and over.
“She said her mother was usually sleeping.”
Ashley pressed her lips together, controlling the concerns that raced through her mind. “You wanted to hear good news, I know.”
He glanced toward the doorway again. “Kaylee looked on edge when she answered me. I’m wondering if Renee is dictating how she should respond to my questions.”
“Would she do that?” She hoped not, but the same thought had crossed her mind.
“A few days ago I would have said no, but now...I’m not certain.” He settled the tea bag onto the saucer. “I know one thing. I need to get to the bottom of the situation, and I don’t want to make an issue of it with Kaylee. It puts me in a bad position.”
“I know, Devon.” She reached across the table and grasped his hand, remembering after she did that she’d decided to steer clear of intimacies.
He weaved his fingers through hers and squeezed. “I need God’s help with this one.”
“You do, and I’ll add it to my prayers. The answer will come.”
They sat in silence a few moments while she listened to the children’s voices, pleased that they were getting along.
Devon shifted in the chair. “Thanks for listening.”
She squeezed his hand and unwound her fingers to pull the bag from her tea. “There’s one positive thing I can say.”
He gave her a faint smile. “I could use that.”
“Kaylee looked so happy when she arrived today. It’s wonderful to see. Whatever you’ve done to make it happen is great.”
“Thanks. I had to remember to be happy, and it just followed.”
“Great. Keep it up.”
As his tension seemed to fade, the silence wrapped around her like a comfortable blanket.
In the living room the children talked about storybooks. She guessed Kaylee was telling Joey about the new books her dad had purchased. Their voices faded a moment until Joey’s voice soared through the doorway. “My mama reads me bedtime stories.”
“So.” Kaylee’s tone had an edge. “Mine will, too, when she gets home.”
Devon’s head shot up, staring at the doorway, then whipped his neck toward her, his eyes wide. “Did you hear that?”
She nodded. “God answers prayer quickly sometimes.”
“I knew something was up.” He closed his eyes and drew in a ragged breath. “Now I have something solid for Renee. She can’t deny the truth this time.”
“Will you say anything to—”
He shook her head. “No. Nothing to Kaylee.”
“Good.” Her heart ached for his situation. Seeking the truth when no one wanted to be open destroyed relationships and ruined trust. “Renee will be honest this time, Devon.”
“She has no choice.”
He leaned back in the chair, his gaze in the distance, his thoughts far away.
She remained silent and said a prayer, thanking God for answering her unspoken prayer and asking Him to bless Devon with peace of mind.
* * *
Devon sat in front of the TV, fighting his desire to get more details from Kaylee but knowing it wasn’t the right thing to do. What surprised him was, if her mother wasn’t home, why hadn’t Kaylee mentioned it? Saying she missed her mother or some other comment seemed a typical thing for a child to say, even offhand.
At least now he could confront Renee, but if Kaylee didn’t get to bed soon, it would be too late to call. He eyed his watch and headed for the dining room.
Kaylee sat at one end of the table, a puzzle spread out and the picture starting to take shape. He ambled toward her and studied the pieces. If he found a few, he could hurry her.
But when he spotted a possibility and reached for it, she tilted her head and frowned at him. “Don’t do my puzzle, Daddy. I want to do it myself.”
Surprised at her admonition, he withdrew his hand and pointed to his watch. “It’s time for you to be heading for bed.”
“Can’t I finish?” She drew back and pointed to the portion she had left. “I’m almost done.”
“You can finish it tomorrow. That will be fun.”
“No, it won’t.” The frown he hated to see deepened.
He struggled for a response. “Bed now, and we can start one of your books.”
“You’ll read to me?” Her face brightened.
“For a little while. Okay?”
She slipped sideways in the chair and stood. “Okay, but not just for a minute.”
He grinned. “Longer than a minute.”
She accepted that and skipped into her room. Within minutes, he heard her running water in the bathroom and was pleased she voluntarily brushed her teeth each night without a reminder. Someone had taught her that lesson well.
When she called for him, he strolled in, hoping to hurry the process but not wanting to rush too much. “Want to read one where you can sound the words? Or how about Miss Lina’s Ballerinas?”
“I never heard that one before.” She snuggled into the blanket, and he propped himself beside her, his feet dangling over the edge. He held the book low so she could see the pictures and began reading her the story about eight little girls who studied dance with Miss Lina. Devon chuckled himself when he saw their names. “Listen to their names, Kaylee. Ready?”
She nodded, and he began. “Christina, Edwina, Sabrina, Justina.”
Kaylee started to giggle.
He loved hearing her happiness. “There’s more. And Katrina, Bettina, Marina and Nina.”
The laughter made his heart burst, and he continued the story of the young girls who danced while reading and doing schoolwork, in the park, and... “Kaylee, do you know where else they danced?”
She shrugged, her eyes getting heavy.
“They danced into bed.” He chucked her under the chin. “And that’s what you’re doing right now. Dancing in your dreams.” He slipped off the mattress and kissed her cheek. “Good night, sweetheart.”
“Night, Daddy.” She didn’t open her eyes, but a faint smile stole to her lips.
His chest tightened realizing the mistake he’d made for so long. He’d allowed his concern to seep into her mind. Children weren’t dumb. They sensed things the same as adults. They just didn’t know how to process it. He thanked the Lord for the awareness.
He set the book on her lamp table and made his way to the door, turning off the light. In the hallway, he breathed a sigh and checked his watch. Still early enough to call Renee.
After filling a glass with milk, he settled in the living room, then pulled out his cell phone and pressed in the number. It rang four times before someone picked up. He feared it would be Renee’s husband, Dwight, but she finally said hello. It dawned on him, she had caller ID and had probably considered not answering.
“Is something wrong with Kaylee?” Her voice edged with tension.
“No. She’s fine, Renee. I’m sorry to call late, but I wanted to tuck Kaylee in first.”
Silence.
He gathered his thoughts. She suspected something.
“What’s this about?” Her question sounded tenuous.
“It’s about Gina. Where is she, Renee?” His palm felt damp against the phone. “Don’t play games with me, please. Just tell me the truth.”
“Did Kaylee say something to you?”
“No, but why shouldn’t she?” The truth struck him, and his anger rose. “Did you tell her not to tell me? Is that it?”
“If she didn’t say something, how do you know Gina’s not here?”
His fingers gripped the phone as tight as a vise. “Did you tell Kaylee not to say anything to me?”
“Yes, Devon. I did.”
He boiled. “Don’t ever do that again to my daughter. Don’t ever put her in a position to lie to me or hold problems back. I won’t stand for it.”
“Face facts, Devon. I’m raising your daughter because her mother’s incapable, and—”
“Hold on.” Incapable. The word smacked him. “What do you mean incapable?”
“I don’t have to tell you. Gina’s had problems for years and it’s only gotten worse.”
“Where is she now?”
“Hospitalized from a prescription drug overdose.”
His gasp reverberated into the phone. “Why didn’t you tell me? Why keep it a secret?”
“Gina doesn’t want to worry you.”
“Or stir up trouble. Isn’t that closer to the truth?” His body trembled with frustration.
“Probably.”
Confusion and concern knotted in his chest. He needed to think. He needed to act.
“Devon, don’t do anything drastic. Kaylee’s fine with us, and I know your work schedule isn’t conducive to caring for her full-time.”
His schedule was a convenient excuse but not anymore. “I need to think, Renee. Let’s drop this for now, and I’ll get back to you.” A new thought slipped into his mind. “Will Gina be all right?”
“This time.”
The answer struck him like a steamroller. “I’m glad. I’ll talk to you later, but please don’t put Kaylee in that situation again. It’s not fair to her to keep secrets from me.”
“I’m sorry. I was following Gina’s request.”
“You’re the healthy one. Gina isn’t. Do what you know is right.”
“I will.”
He thanked her and hung up, his body quaking with shock. He had a problem to solve. Kaylee deserved a whole parent, one who loved her with all his heart. He had to act now.