Devon grinned as he thought about Ashley’s enthusiasm over Joey’s birthday. The day they had shopped for the boy’s gifts opened another new door. Maneuvering through crowds in a mall had always fallen somewhere near the bottom of his list of things to do, but on that day with Ashley’s hand in his, the task had moved up in the ranks at an astonishing pace. Even the thought of wearing a suit and tie added new meaning to the idea of dressing up. The look in her eyes the night of the wedding made it all worthwhile.
Their talk in the garden replayed in his head. Though the stars and moon added to the atmosphere, he sensed God at work that night when Ashley bared her heart and admitted all that he’d wanted to hear. Each day with her in his life had become a gift.
But today gifts belonged to Joey. Devon looked at him sitting in the “birthday boy” chair, as Ashley called it, surrounded by his gifts, most already opened, though he still had a couple more surprises. When he spied the box Devon had brought in, Joey flung the paper aside and beamed at the numerous miniature vehicles—automobiles, police cars, an EMT truck and even a fire engine. He lifted his gaze toward Devon and grasped the fire truck. “Is this like yours?”
Devon controlled a chuckle. “Just like it, but lots bigger.”
“Bigger.” He nodded. “So you fit inside.”
“Me and a few other firefighters.” The interest on the boy’s face spurred him on. “One day I’ll take you to the firehouse. You can see a truck close up.”
Joey’s eyes widened and a gigantic grin flew to his face. “Let’s go now.” He dropped the miniature engine and slipped off the chair. “Can I sit in the truck?”
Ashley came to the rescue. “Another time, young man. You still have a present...or two, and we have ice cream and cake.”
That did the trick, and he slipped back onto the chair, his eyes sweeping the area for the second gift. He noticed the one Kaylee held.
She grinned. “This is from me.” She handed it to him.
As he tore off the paper, his face lit up. “Puzzles.” He held up a box cover and showed the photo of three kittens in a basket. Apparently forgetting about the second gift his mother mentioned, he plopped to the floor and tried to lift the lid. “Kaylee, we can do puzzles now.”
Ashley confiscated the gift. “Let’s finish your last gift and then you can play.”
Though his expression pointed to his confusion, Joey arose from the floor and stood beside Kaylee, who appeared to prefer putting together the puzzles than see the other gift.
Devon scooted out of the room and hurried to the backdoor where he’d hidden the last surprise. When he wheeled it through the archway, Joey could hardly contain himself. He darted to the new bicycle with trainer wheels and tried to hug it. “A new bike.” He spun around to face his mother. “It’s a real bike for me.”
“What do you say to Devon?” She gave him the eye.
“I say let’s go outside.”
Everyone laughed, though he missed the point until Kaylee told him to say thank-you.
Ashley gave him a hug. “Now, how about some cake and ice cream?”
Kaylee followed Ashley to the kitchen, but Joey stood in the middle of the room, still mesmerized by his gifts. He turned from the bike to the miniature cars to the puzzles as if overwhelmed with his decision about which one to play with first.
Ashley called from the kitchen for them to find seats in the dining room.
Devon took Joey’s hand and guided him toward the treats. Joey scampered ahead, and before Devon could sit, his cell phone rang. He tugged it from his breast pocket and saw Renee’s name. “I’ll be right back.” He held up his finger and retreated to the living room. “What’s up?”
“Gina’s home.”
As soon as he heard Renee’s voice, he realized they had a problem. “She’s upset?”
“That’s only part of it.”
He waited for more, but all he heard was silence. “Please tell me what’s going on.”
“She’s not well. They should have kept her. The hallucinations are worse than when she left.”
Renee hadn’t told him about those. “What kind of hallucinations?” His pulse escalated as his concern grew.
“She’s bipolar, Devon. You knew that, right?”
“You mean now. Is this a new problem? She wasn’t bipolar before.” His cheek ticked with tension.
“Sorry, but she did. She had tendencies, but her medication kept things under control. If she stopped taking them, then the condition got worse.”
He froze to the spot. “Gina never explained what it was for. She said the pills were for her nerves. I never questioned her, Renee. I didn’t realize...” He closed his eyes, recalling she’d had to stop taking the pills when she became pregnant. “If I’d known—”
“It’s not your fault. Gina refused to discuss her diagnosis. She insisted she was fine, but now we know that wasn’t the case. The psychologist told me that she has a tendency toward schizophrenia, and that’s not good news.”
The word jarred Devon. “It’s dangerous.”
“She hears a voice telling her to do things. Take her life is one of things they tell her.”
“What can you... We do?” His mind spun. Concern for Kaylee’s safety surged through his mind. He imagined what the voice might tell her to do. He pressed his fingers against his temple, wishing away the thunder in his brain. “Is she okay with Kaylee living here?”
“She wants to see her, Devon. I haven’t told her that she’s staying with you for more than your days off.” She released a stream of air. “Can you bring her home?”
His spine straightened. “She is home, Renee. Remember?”
“But...”
“I’ll talk with her, but not today. We’re at a birthday party, and it’s not a good time.”
“Do you think it’s a good time for me?”
“No.” He rubbed his hand across his mouth, asking the Lord to give him words that were filled with kindness and not the ones on the tip of his tongue. “Tomorrow. I’ll get there tomorrow alone, and later I’ll bring Kaylee, but I need to talk to Gina first.”
Kaylee darted through the archway and skidded to a stop. “Daddy, we want to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Joey.”
“Tomorrow. That’s all I can do.” He gave Kaylee a nod. “I have to hang up now.”
She mumbled concerns but finally said goodbye.
He hit the end call button and slipped his arm around Kaylee as they returned to the kitchen. He had no plan to tell her about the call now. In Kaylee’s eyes he’d given her a gift when she came to live with him. He wouldn’t take that away.
* * *
Ashley stood at her front window, straining to see down the street and to know if Devon had returned home from his visit with Gina. Her heart ached for him, but as much for herself. She’d grown to love Kaylee as her own—the thought scared her—but it was true. Having the girl stay with her while Devon worked had melded the family together like hot chocolate and marshmallows. Kaylee had fit in, becoming a playmate for Joey and a help to her.
Devon could go to court with powerful ammunition against Gina, but would he? His pure heart and concern for his former wife, as well as the impact of a court battle, could damage Kaylee. She prayed the Lord would intervene and point the way for the answer.
Her leg tired, she sank into her recliner and hoisted the footrest. Healing took time, and the last thing she wanted to do was cause problems with her leg. The memory of the day the tree fell dropped into mind with horror but also with joy. She’d met Devon, an amazing gift in her life. She’d bypassed her concern, and grasping her faith and Devon’s confidence in their relationship, she’d laid down the burden and stepped into a new world promising an amazing journey.
A sound roused her, and she stood up, her focus on the window and her driveway. Disappointed, she sank back into her chair. On one hand, she’d been grateful for her dad. He’d invited the children to lunch at their favorite fast-food restaurant with a play area, but now she needed a distraction and without them nothing drew her away from waiting, not even her work.
Her contacts had grown, and with Kaylee there to entertain Joey, she’d had more time to keep up with the stacks of computer and paperwork that accumulated on her desk. Grateful for the income, she enjoyed spending time with Devon and the children far more.
One niggling thought stayed with her, a new issue she hadn’t considered until recently. Joey adored Devon and carried the fire truck into his bedroom each night. Fire truck. Boys emulated their fathers. What would she do if one day Joey wanted to be a firefighter? The distant possibility seemed a ridiculous concern when she thought logically, but when her heart took over it burned in her mind.
The foolish worry was another burden she had to lay at Jesus’ feet. Now that she’d opened her heart and admitted her feelings, sliding back was no longer an option. Months ago she thought nothing could pull her away from the memories of her life with Adam. They’d only shared a couple short years before the army called him away. Still, at times, it seemed like a lifetime. But her life had changed. Today, though the bittersweet memories remained, her joy covered them with new experiences and memories.
The backdoor opened, and she jumped. Her back straightened as her eyes shifted to the archway. Devon stepped into the room, his expression a muddle of emotion.
She rose and opened her arms. “Was it that bad?”
He closed his eyes and moved into her arms, clinging to her. “Let’s sit.”
Weariness emanated from his body, and she drew back to her chair while he sank into the easy chair nearby. “She’s not the woman I married.” He shook his head. She looked like an old woman, her back hunched, deep furrows around her eyes. “Whatever is going on in her body, in her head, is killing her. My heart breaks for Kaylee. She’s been living with Gina as her major caregiver and has grown up seeing the shell of the mother she once had.”
Tension knotted in her shoulders, and she pulled her arms back to relieve the strain. “You don’t think that Gina would really take her own life, do you?”
“Her attempts so far have been waylaid, but I don’t know, Ash. One day she might try and there’ll be no one to stop her and get to her in time.” He shook his head. “I really don’t know.”
“Does she realize what she’d do to Kaylee. She’d be without a mother, and—”
“She’s without one now. Her body’s there, but her heart and mind are so tangled in the drugs she takes and the disease that’s destroyed her spirit, I don’t think she’s in tune to much of anything most of the time. I’ve never known anyone so incapacitated by an illness like this.”
“It’s horrible for Kaylee and you. There’s so little you can do, I’m at a loss.”
His eyes agreed. “She’s lost so much I feel guilty taking Kaylee from her. It seems so unkind...so thoughtless.”
“Kaylee asked to live with you, Devon.” Her stomach knotted as she talked, and she felt sick. “You don’t know if Gina will hurt herself and Kaylee will witness that.” Her greatest fear was Gina would also harm Kaylee to keep them together. It wasn’t unheard of with a mental illness. “Don’t forget, Devon, besides being her father and her loving you, now you understand the importance of having custody.”
“We talked a little, but her mind wanders. Then she’ll come back to Kaylee and ask why she hadn’t come with me.”
“When you told her your thoughts, did she understand?”
His shoulders lifted in a heavy sigh. “I explained, but...” His head lowered. “I couldn’t tell her Kaylee asked to live with me. I just couldn’t.”
Ashley nodded, understanding yet wishing he had. “You’ll have to tell her if it comes to that.”
“I know. I’m hoping it doesn’t. I told her I’d bring Kaylee back when I return to work on Thursday.” He lifted his head, his eyes glazed. “She fell asleep as we were talking. Renee said she sleeps much of the time.”
“That’s no life for—” Ashley let the sentence die. He knew it wasn’t a life for Kaylee, and he didn’t need to hear it again. What he needed was a solution. “Will you tell Kaylee so she’s prepared?”
“I think she knows the situation better than I do, Ash.” His eyes misted. “She’s been watching her mother sink deeper and deeper into this sad condition. Who knows how she’s coped.”
“She looked forward to her days with you, I imagine.” It was the first time she’d seen him look more cheerful since he’d walked through the door.
“Thanks. I’m not letting her go back. Nothing will change that.”
Her spirit lifted hearing his determination. “I’m glad.”
A car pulled up in front of the house, and Ashley rose and craned her neck to see who it was. “Dad’s back with the kids.”
He brushed at his eyes. “Good timing. I need cheering up.”
The side door banged against the wall, and the children’s chatter reached them. Her dad’s voice followed. “We’re home.”
She laughed. “Good thing you’re not burglars. I’d have already dialed 911.”
The kids bounded into the room, both talking about what they ate and their fun in the play area. “We met Alice.”
Ashley’s head bobbed up with Kaylee’s comment. “You took Alice with you, huh?”
He shrugged. “She likes kids, and two pairs of eyes watching them in the play area was better than one pair.”
She chuckled at his excuses. Alice seemed to be in his life more than she realized. “Tell her thank-you.”
“She loves it, and so do the kids. They can con her out of anything.”
Ashley arched a brow, concerned. “You shouldn’t let them get away with—”
He tossed his head back with a laugh. “She’s like any grandma. She loves to make them happy.” He wagged his hand as if wiping away her concern. “It was just ice cream.”
Devon had been quiet until the last comment. “Like a grandma. Hmm? That’s interesting.” He gave Ashley a wink. “Is there something you’re not telling us?”
Ashley chuckled when she noticed a faint flush on her dad’s face. A romance was really blooming.
“Don’t start playing matchmaker, you two.”
Ashley laughed out loud at that. “Tit for tat, Dad. How many times have I told you to stop matching me up with possible husbands?”
He grinned. “That’s different.”
She shook her head, not trying to find another barb.
Joey strode to Devon, his face tilted up to his. “Can we go to the fire station now?”
“You promised, Daddy, remember?”
Her concern vanished when she saw Devon’s face brighten. He needed a distraction from his problems and making the kids happy would do that.
Devon looked at Ashley. “What do you think?”
“I think it’s a great idea.”
He nodded, the look reflecting the thought she’d just had. “You’ll have fun. All of you.”
“We will.”
The kids charged toward the door, and she barely had time to say goodbye, but this goodbye was a good one, because it was also a goodbye to Devon’s gloom. How could he be sad with happy kids around?
* * *
Devon smiled along with the children, their excitement evident as they scampered in front of him toward the firehouse entrance. He’d asked the captain about bringing them, but he knew the answer would be yes. Still, he wanted to make sure it was a good day, one without serious calls. Those days were precious. And so were the kids as they bounded through the door.
The guys who saw them come into the station sent him a wave. “I brought some important guests for a visit today.”
His friends welcomed the kids, and he stepped back, letting them lead the tour through their living quarters, the dining room, where their eyes widened when they saw three refrigerators and the large stove. They had to be encouraged to leave the exercise room or they would have stayed there to play on the stair steps, and Joey wanted to lift weights. The boy made him laugh.
Finally they were eager to head to the apparatus area with all the firehouse gear, the rescue truck, ambulance and what Joey had been waiting for—the fire truck.
The men’s patience answering questions and allowing the kids to try on the gear made Devon proud of his pals. He watched Joey’s eyes shift to the engine so often, waiting for his chance to climb into the truck. When the time came, Devon’s pulse gave a kick almost as happy as the kids, but before he could enjoy the experience, his cell rang. Though tempted to ignore it, he had second thoughts and eyed the caller ID. Gina.
His heart jarred before the thump struck temples. He caught a firefighter’s attention and pointed to the phone. His friend nodded, and he scooted out of earshot and answered. “Gina, is something wrong?”
“I need to see her now, Devon.”
He drew the phone from his ear, confused. “Why now? She’s with me and one of her playmates at the firehouse.”
“Now, please. It’s important, and I—”
He heard Renee’s voice in the background, and he sensed something very wrong. “Gina, can I talk with—”
“No, Devon. I need to see Kaylee.” He’d promise to bring her there tomorrow not today. He’d have time to explain the visit to Kaylee, to prepare her at least.
Panic filled her voice and his concern rose. If she hurt herself because of his delay, he would never forgive himself. “I’ll bring her within the hour.”
Silence.
“Did you hear me?”
“Thank you.” He heard the click of a disconnect.
He lurched hearing the desperation in Gina’s voice. He hadn’t wanted to tell Kaylee anything about the problem, but he knew she would ask why they had to go today.
After slipping the phone into his pocket, he hurried to the fire truck, his heart heavy with concern. He hoped Kaylee wouldn’t ask, but he knew her too well. She would.
With the tour completed, Devon stepped in and used his cell phone to take a photo of Kaylee and Joey in the fire truck, and the firefighters gathered around and presented them with red firefighter hats and a junior firefighter badge. They were overjoyed.
He would have been, too, except Gina’s voice grated on his conscience, along with her demand to see Kaylee now.
After thanking the men, he herded the kids to the car, his mind reeling, his concern growing. He longed to come up with a plan of action, but action against what? Gina’s demand hung before him with no direction. All she’d insisted was to see Kaylee today, though the little girl still had one more day to stay with him as far as Gina knew. Renee hadn’t explained the situation yet, and now that left it up to him.
When they arrived at Ashley’s, Joey’s and Kaylee’s chatter about their visit to the firehouse droned in his ear. He had little time, and he finally distracted them enough to relay a few seconds of the conversation to Ashley before an explanation to Kaylee.
On the way home to pick up anything she needed, he had to explain. “Your mom’s home. I talked with her.”
Kaylee’s head popped up. “When?”
“I’m not sure when she came home, but she called while you were in the fire truck.”
A frown settled on her face, and she only searched his eyes in silence.
“She wants to see you now, Kaylee, so we’ll take a ride there, okay?”
Her expression darkened, and she remained silent as if weighing his words. “But I can come back here.” Though a question, her inflection made it sound like a statement.
“I don’t know what she wants, sweetheart. We’ll have to find out.”
“Daddy, I...” Her voice sank with a look of despair.
He’d never seen her react this way, and his stomach knotted. Why the change? She’d never rejected her mother, and he didn’t want that now, but he didn’t know what she’d lived with for so long. Even a toddler senses things amiss, and Kaylee had a keen sense.
“I’ll go with you. Does that help?”
The tightness of her lips softened as she nodded.
They drove in silence most of the way with only an occasional comment on her fun at the firehouse. He was sorry he’d ended her wonderful day with this news. He said a prayer that some good could come from what seemed an impossible situation.
When they pulled into the driveway, Kaylee unhooked her belt and stood outside the car as if waiting for him to stand beside her. He took her hand as they headed to the porch and when they opened the doors, Gina stood there, dark circles beneath her once-lovely eyes and gaunt flesh as pale as ash. An ache tore through his body.
He took the first step with Kaylee. “I said an hour. We’re here, Gina.”
“Go home, Devon. I want to spend time with my daughter alone. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Panic filled Kaylee’s face, her desperate look aimed at him.
His concern rose, hearing tomorrow. “You go and visit your mom, and I’ll see you soon.” He backed off the stair, startled by Kaylee’s expression and his own desperation.
Kaylee stepped inside and the door closed without Gina saying another word. He’d expected a thank-you, but expectations only led to disappointment.
He stood a moment, catching his breath, his mind weighted with questions.
What did Gina have on her mind? What could he do to protect Kaylee from being pulled into a battle? He looked heavenward, hoping his prayer had reached the Lord.
Though he wanted to move, his fear held him fast. He couldn’t leave without doing something. Renee. His option was to call her. Gina resented him, but her sister was a different story. Renee would make sure nothing happened to Kaylee and his prayer would help cinch it.