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Tilly
“He’s your boyfriend.” Kate looks over at a group of kids lined up by the zoo’s entrance. We’re sitting on a bench enjoying the mid-morning sunshine. “You can call him your roommate or your lover or whatever you want, Tilly, but the man is your boyfriend.”
Whatever he is, we had an incredible night together.
After we made love, we slept in each other’s arms until Sebastian had to leave before dawn.
I got out of my bed and sat on his while I watched him get ready for work.
I soaked in every movement of his body, every word he was saying. I wanted to etch it all into my mind.
I fell back asleep in his bed after he left. When I woke up I showered in his bathroom, using his shampoo and body wash. I was relaxing in my robe when my best friend called to invite me for coffee since it’s her day off too. I got ready quickly, choosing a pair of jeans and a red blouse before I straightened my hair and headed out the door.
“Nothing has changed, Kate,” I say even though, for me, everything has changed.
I’ve fallen in love.
I realized it for the first time last night on the roof when we saw the shooting star.
I wished for a lifetime with him.
It brought a tear to my eye and when he kissed me tenderly afterwards, I felt a sense of calmness I’ve never experienced before.
She turns to look at me. “You’re in love with him.”
I scrub my hand over my face as if that will wipe away whatever she’s seeing. “Why would you say that?”
She runs her fingers through her long hair. “Because it’s the truth. It’s obvious to me. It must be obvious to him.”
I look toward the zoo. It’s become one of my favorite spots in Central Park. “It’s not obvious to him.”
“So you are in love with him?” Her voice is hopeful.
I nod without turning in her direction. “I don’t know when it happened, but it did.”
“Love is like that.” She sighs. “It creeps up on you and before you know it, you’re lost to it.”
“What am I supposed to do now?” I chuckle. “I fell in love with a man who has made it very clear that he’s not looking for love.”
“You talk to him.” She turns to face me. “You tell him what you’re feeling.”
“It will change everything between us.” My voice trembles. “He’ll probably move out.”
“Or he might surprise you.”
I arch a brow in silent query.
“He might feel the same way about you.” She tilts her head. “You have nothing to lose by telling him, Tilly.”
“I’ll lose what we have now,” I point out.
She watches as a woman with a stroller walks past us. “Or you’ll lose the chance for more. You won’t know how he’ll react unless you tell him exactly what you feel.”
I look back toward the zoo. “I’ll think about it. Are you ready to visit some animals?”
She stands and twirls in place, her long blonde hair flying in the light wind. “How do I look? Do you think they’ll like me as much as they like you?”
I laugh as I link arms with her. “They’ll love you as much as I do.”
***
“Fuck.” Sebastian slams his fist into a cushion that’s next to him on the sofa. “Goddammit.”
I heard him come in when I was on a video call with Frannie. That was ten minutes ago. My sister insisted on telling me all about the wedding dresses she’s picked out online for Maya.
I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Maya has scheduled another consultation appointment with Kate. When she walked past Katie Rose Bridal the other day she saw the new selection of dresses in the window display.
She believes she’ll find the perfect one with the help of my best friend.
“What’s wrong?” I ask tentatively from where I’m standing next to my bedroom door. “Did something happen, Sebastian?”
I can tell by his reaction that’s he startled. “You’re home? I thought you were hanging out with Kate all day.”
The bite in his tone sets me back a step. “We hung out earlier. I came home to see if you wanted to get take-out and maybe watch a movie.”
“I can’t stay.” He drops his head back onto the sofa. His knees vibrate under his black dress pants. “I’m sorry. I forgot my wallet this morning so I stopped in to pick it up.”
I cross the room with quick steps and settle in next to him. “We’ll have dinner another time.”
“I wish to fuck I could spend the night with you.” His hand lands on my thigh. The sleeves of his white dress shirt are rolled up to his elbows. His muscular forearm tenses as he squeezes my leg. “On days like this I wonder why the hell I joined the force.”
“Why did you?” I ask, wondering if he’ll confirm what Darrell told me about feeling a sense of duty to his dad.
“To make the city a better place?” He huffs out a strained laugh. “To do the right thing?”
I inch closer until I can rest my head on his shoulder.
He groans audibly when he tugs me into his side. “When I’m here with you the world disappears. I forget all the bullshit, all the pain.”
I lean forward to place a soft kiss on his mouth. “I want to take all of your pain away.”
He cups my face, his blue eyes searing into mine. “I want that too, Matilda. Fuck, I want that.”
Just as his lips brush mine, his cell phone rings.
“Duty calls.” He closes his eyes. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“I know.” I kiss him one last time before he scoops his phone into his palm and answers it on his way out the door.
