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Tilly
“I hate leaving.” Kate looks beyond my shoulder at my empty apartment. “Why don’t you give me a few minutes alone in his bedroom? I can have everything packed up and sent to him in no time flat.”
I love that she wants to protect me in that way, but it’s my responsibility to take care of Sebastian’s things.
I have no idea where he’s staying now so an hour ago I sent him a short text message.
Tilly: I need to know where to send your things.
I don’t have to look at the screen of my phone to know that he hasn’t replied yet. I’ve had the volume set to maximum since he walked out of here because I don’t want to miss his call or text.
“I need to do this.” I hesitate a beat before I go on, “I appreciate that you want to stay and take care of it for me, but it’s part of the healing process, right? Letting go of the past.”
She’s been spouting helpful, and not-so-helpful, advice for days. I’m grateful for her support, but it’s wearing me down.
I’m not ready to move on from Sebastian.
I don’t know if I’ll ever be.
All I do know is that tonight I need to clear out his bedroom. I don’t want his belongings near me if he’s not.
“I’m not going far.” She reaches to touch my shoulder. “I’m going to have dinner at that Greek place we love. It’s just a block over. I can be back here in five minutes flat.”
“You can go home,” I say trying to convince her that I’m fine, even though I’m not. “I’ll send you a text before I go to bed.”
“I’m in the mood for lamb.” She smiles. “I’ll be having dinner close by. If I don’t hear from you before I pay the check, I promise I’ll go home.”
“You’ve been amazing through all of this.” I pull her in for a quick hug. “I love you, Kate.”
“I love you too,” she whispers. “You’ll survive this. I promise you will.”
***
“You’re crying.” Frannie leans closer to her tablet. “Tilly, what is it? What happened?”
I look down at the paper in my hands. It’s out of the view of the camera.
It was one of the last things I found in Sebastian’s room. It fell out of a book. I went to pick up the novel to place it one of the cardboard boxes and it slipped from my hands. The paper floated out before the book hit the floor.
“I’m just...” my voice trails as I look at the date at the top of the paper I’m holding; the letter I’m holding.
It’s dated four days before Sebastian moved in with me.
“You never call me.” Frannie’s voice is impatient. “You’re scaring me. Are you hurt? Did something happen to Maya?”
“I’m okay,” I whisper. “I haven’t talked to Maya. I think she’s fine.”
“What do you keep looking at?” Her gaze drops even though she can only see my face and the top of my shoulders.
“Are you wearing the T-shirt Maya bought for us?”
I look down at the white T-shirt with the words ‘Happy Birthday for Two’ printed on it.
I’d pulled it out of my suitcase the day after Sebastian left. I needed to feel close to the people I love even if I couldn’t face any of them.
I’ve worn it to bed every day this week. I throw it in the washing machine every morning to get rid of the mascara stains that are left there when I cry myself to sleep.
I tilt my phone’s screen down so she can see the front of the T-shirt. I leave my cut-off denim shorts and the letter in my lap out of view.
“I love that you’re wearing it.” She sets the tablet down. “Let me put on mine.”
I sit silently while I hear the rustle of her movement around her bedroom.
She’s back in front of the camera within a minute.
“We haven’t worn matching clothes in years.” A grin covers her mouth. “I love this. Do you know how much I love this, Tilly?”
I nod. “I’m in love, Frannie.”
Her eyes instantly well with tears. “What? Tilly, you’re in love? With you?”
With a man who passed the NYPD Sergeant Exam with flying colors.
With a man who tucked the letter notifying him of that in a book that he hid in a drawer under some T-shirts.
A book written by his brother and inscribed with the words, ‘You’ll always be my hero, Sebastian. The world needs more men like you. Nicholas.’
“He’s the bravest person I’ve ever met.” I look at the screen. “He’s the best person I’ve ever known.”
“He sounds incredible, Tilly.”
My eyes glisten with tears. “I didn’t know a man like him existed.”
“When do I get to meet him?” Her tears give way to a smile.
“He doesn’t love me back.” A sob escapes with the words. “He broke up with me last week, Fran.”
Her hand jumps to her mouth. “Why would he do that?”
“I wasn’t what he wanted.” I rub at my forehead as my gaze falls to my bed and the blanket I’m sitting on. It’s the same blanket Sebastian wrapped around his waist the night we met. “I wasn’t the one for him.”
“Oh my God, Tilly!” Frannie screams as she darts to her feet. “Get out of there. There’s a man right behind you.”
I turn and look over my shoulder at the only man I’ll ever love.
He’s standing in the doorway of my bedroom. His eyes immediately lock on mine.
“You’re the one for me and I’m back to prove that I’m the one for you,” Sebastian says hoarsely. “I love you, Matilda.”
