Chapter Sixteen

Robbie

I was a wreck. High on blood with my roller-coaster emotions getting the best of me. I had done it before, drank several glasses of blood and felt the intoxicating effects that had me flying much longer than any alcoholic beverage could. Burners off, I turned to Theo, holding my mug up to him before downing the rest. It was my sixth.

He was used to seeing my morning drink, but my shrug was an admission and he interpreted it correctly as understanding lighted his eyes and he nodded. “Ah, sugar,” he said softly.

I ran to him then, allowing him to guide me to the living room, breakfast forgotten. We spent the morning with me bawling, curled up in his lap and lamenting the day I was born. I can’t actually remember what all I told him, but I’m sure it was ridiculous. I mean, you don’t just go around telling your boyfriend how you really think about yourself, do you? That’s not a healthy thing. Theo took it all in stride, as he does with everything. He held me until I was cried out, offering some pieces of wisdom and comfort, though I have no memory of what they were, then gave me a little white pill.

I did sleep, but it was fitful. I woke up a couple of times, clinging desperately to Theo only to have my tears renewed. Each time he folded me in his huge embrace and whispered to me until I fell back into the drugged slumber.

“Sorry,” I muttered, laden with embarrassment. A pounding started just behind my eyes. It was early evening and Theo was awake, lying beside me and propped up on an elbow. I cringed when I saw his eyebrows furrowing with concern.

“Sugar,” he said softly, his huge hand tracing the side of my face. “I’m not going to pretend to understand. But, you can learn how to do all of this. If you weren’t meant to be able to do it, then you wouldn’t have been born with the ability.”

I swallowed hard, biting off the protest at the tip of my tongue.

“Baby, come here.” He pulled me against him, and I was once again home, safe as I burrowed my head into his chest and tried desperately to quell the river of tears that burst forth from me.

Sick of my own bellyaching, I groaned and pushed away, swinging myself out of bed. “Fuck, this sucks!” I gasped, momentarily stunned by my outburst. I didn’t curse. Well, not often. Usually only because Theo asked me to while he was playing with me. I bit my lips together and chanced a look at Theo.

He seemed surprised, but then fell back laughing. “Yeah, sugar. Yeah, it does.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

Theo slid out of bed to hug me tight. “What did we say about apologizing?”

“Yeah, but…” I was about to point out that I was apologizing for cursing, but he beat me to the punchline.

“But fuck, this sucks?” he asked with a smile in his voice. Theo pulled away and brushed his lips across mine. “Come on, sugar. Let’s go shower and get ready to meet up with Maggie and Abi. You’ll master this whole Command thing. But, Robbie. You really got to get over telling yourself that you’re not worthy of having this ability or knowing how to do it. You have more right than any other Nüwa.”

He caught my hand and tugged me toward the bathroom. “How do you figure?” I asked, trying to parse out how an anomaly could in any way have more right to anything.

Theo turned on the water to start warming it up before resting his hands on my hips. “You’re one of a kind,” he said, his tone that of astonishment that I hadn’t figured that out.

I scoffed. “Yeah…one of a kind.” My tone was one that reminded him of exactly what my place was.

“You just don’t get it, do you? Sugar, you are one of a kind.” He emphasized each word. “Everyone goes through life in the pursuit of individuality. They strive to make themselves unique by dressing a certain way, styling their hair a certain way, acting a certain way. Some try to emulate their favorite idol, but most struggle with the desire to stand out. You stand out by simple virtue of your birth.”

Moaning at the reminder, I turned away from him and stepped into the huge walk-in shower. The too-hot water pelted my skin abusively, but I didn’t lessen the onslaught with cooler water.

“Don’t do that.” Theo stepped in, adjusting the knob as he slid in behind me. “Don’t you get that you are the most wonderful man I have ever met? The kindest, most conscientious, most…”

His compliments were matched with protest after protest of my internal demons, but his falling silent shook me out of my self-abusive thoughts. My breath caught when I saw the anguish in his eyes as I turned in his embrace.

“With all of my magical abilities, I am powerless to help,” he gritted out, his jaw set.

“You’ve been a great help,” I choked. Shame crashed over me in a wave at contributing to Theo’s sadness.

“I can’t take away your pain…I can’t even make you understand that you’re the most important person in my world.”

In all of my agonizing of how worthless I was, I hadn’t once considered that I was worthwhile to Theo. Of course I was. He loved me, and that was something I reflected on every day. Joyously. It gave me strength and courage. I would have never been able to go to college if it hadn’t been for Theo’s encouragement and fact that he was waiting for me when I got home each night.

“Theo, I love you so much…I…I’m sorry.” Tears mixed with the water from the overhead downpour so that I didn’t know where my anguish ended and the cleansing began.

I was answered by his lips that owned mine, and again we were lost in each other once more. Though this time I was reminded that despite all of the lies I had been fed throughout my life, there was a truth that remained. I belonged to Theo, who cherished me.