Chapter Thirty-Six

Robbie

After his performance, Chance mingled with everyone. In a thong. He seemed equally comfortable flirting with the women at the party as he had with me. I didn’t know how much of it was acting or not, but his eyes kept drifting back to where I was sitting and talking with Abi, only to remind me that I was not paying attention to Abi. It was after nine in the evening, and the group was only about twenty women, several of whom were leaving already.

Kat was talking dinner, but Abi was whining about not being able to fit into her dress in a few days, and no one seemed to have the energy for a night of dancing. Seeing that things seemed to be heading the way of a wrap-up, I started cleaning.

I found myself tidying up in the kitchen and heard a shuffling, only to turn to be eye level with Chance’s chest. He had hopped up onto the counter behind me, his legs spread apart, and gold thong adorned with badge front and center. “Hey.” He grinned at me.

“Hey.” I caught my lip between my teeth, turning away again, and busied myself with dishes I hadn’t planned on doing by hand. “Great performance. You’re a professional dancer, huh?”

“It pays the bills,” Chance said casually. “I’m actually an acting major.”

“You’re in college?” I turned.

“Don’t act so surprised,” he said, laughing. “So, you’re Robbie.”

The fact that he had taken the time to learn my name brought goose bumps to my arms. “Yeah.”

“Your cousin says you have a boyfriend.” Chance’s gaze was intense.

“Oh,” I found myself looking anywhere but at him.

“Uh-oh, I know that look. Trouble in paradise?” he asked as I had started cleaning again.

“He dumped me,” I explained, my statement choking me. Saying something aloud makes it real.

Chance slid down from the counter, his bare feet hitting the tiles. “That sucks, man. So, what I hear you saying is that you’d really like to go out tonight and forget everything. Maybe with a new friend?”

I hadn’t said that or even thought it, though forgetting did sound good. I rolled a shoulder, my entire body reacting when he put his hand on my arm. “Hey, so how’s this? I’ll be at the Rough Rider’s bar at eleven. You want to meet up, look for me on the dance floor.”

I don’t know what possessed me. The next couple of hours were somewhat of a blur. I helped clean up the house, gave Abi a ride to her place, and thanked her for letting me borrow her car. The alcohol had long since worn off, and as I made my way back to my hotel, Theo once again dominated my thoughts. Why break up with me now? He could have done it right after Pride, but had gone ahead with my birthday, and then with getting me down to Abi’s party. Why had he waited until just before her party? Probably so he wouldn’t have to go to the wedding with me.

I wondered if Chance would go to the wedding with me…

I wondered if that meant I was planning on going to the bar tonight. But the fact that I was in the shower getting ready to go out answered that. And since Theo wasn’t around…would never be around again…

I sank to the tub and pulled my legs to me, wrapping my arms around them and resting my head against my knees as the scalding-hot water rolled over my neck and back. It was called rebound, and yeah, I was going to do it. It didn’t matter. I didn’t matter. That much was obvious. And going out was better than sitting in the tub feeling miserable. What had gone wrong? Had it all been a lie? No…it hadn’t been a lie.

But the way Chance had looked at me…it made me feel something other than miserable, at least for a little while.

I slipped into an emerald Andrew Christian jock that matched my eyes, the tightest jeans I owned, and a simple white T-shirt that showed off my physique. I had grown proud of my body, after almost two decades of feeling miserable about it. Plotting a course on GPS on my phone instead of Abi’s car (because I didn’t want that to come up in her search history), I drove to the Rough Rider’s Lounge, which was located close to the airport. Having never been to a club without Theo, part of me wanted to turn back. Especially considering the neighborhood. Like San Francisco, there were homeless with their lean-tos and cardboard shelters, but unlike San Francisco, the streets seemed somewhat desolate. The bar was located between several other buildings that appeared to have once had shops that were now out of business. The façade was not kept up and I ended up driving past it, but considering all the cars lining the street and guys milling around in front, I figured that had to be it. I had only brought some cash, the fake ID that said I was twenty-two years old, phone, and keys, not wanting anything else to keep track of. Halfway to the club I realized that I didn’t have condoms or lube and burned with embarrassment. Theo always carried them. What was I doing? My chest ached and tears threaten again.

Theo was gone.

What I was doing was going to hang out with a guy who seemed really nice. I was going to check out the gay bar scene of San Diego, the city I was now going to call home. Both the Snake Pit and Grizzly’s had condoms for sale and for free all over the club. This place probably did too. And if it didn’t, and I was still going to do something, it didn’t have to be that.

I walked on, stuffing my hands in my pockets. I was surprised to find that there was no cover at the door, and the enormous man gave only a passing glance at my ID. The building was bigger inside than it seemed to be outside, extending deeper with a bar along one side and a larger space for dancing.

No DJ booth was to be seen, and there was basic house music playing. It felt soulless, so unlike the music that Theo mixed. A basic rhythm droned on and on without any rise or drop at all. For the most part, the guys looked bored. A couple were dancing, but it seemed like most were just leaning—against walls, the bar, each other. I skirted the outside of the dance floor, enduring ass gropes as I had come to expect in bars. It had never bothered me in San Francisco, I guessed because it had felt friendly. For some reason, this time felt invasive. I shouldered up to the bar and ordered beer. I didn’t even bother with asking for champagne since the only things that seemed to be available here were cheap vodka, rum, tequila, or beer.

“Hey, babe, let me get that.” I looked over my shoulder to see a big bald, acne-scarred guy pushing against me and sliding a bill across the bar.

“Ah, no. Thanks, I have it.” I pushed my bill more aggressively at the bartender and added, “I’m meeting someone here.”

The bartender looked between us, shrugged, and took my bill, for which I was grateful.

“Who ya meetin’?” the bald guy asked.

I frowned at the dance floor when I didn’t see him. “Chance,” I shouted over the music and wondered if the guy knew him, but his shrug answered that.

“I can keep you company till he gets here,” he leered, his erection obvious against my hip.

Revulsion caused goose bumps to rise across my entire left side where he was, and I quickly retrieved the beer and shifted away from him. “Thanks, no. I’d better go see if he’s waiting.”

I hurried away from the man, as fast as I could considering the wall-to-wall guys. It occurred to me that most of the men here would have fit in at Grizzly’s. They were bigger, broader, though with more of a nod to exercise than the softer, chubby guys that frequented the San Francisco bar. As I wandered the bar, I quickly came to the conclusion that this was not the place for me. The men were a bit more crass, less respectful, and didn’t quite take no for an answer. The music wasn’t great, and the beer was warm. There was a small ledge that lined the walls where I abandoned the bottle before weaving my way toward the door.

Once out on the street, I took a deep breath and felt an impact against my back. My watch buzzed, telling me that I had just been attacked, and I whipped around to see the guy who had tried to pay for my drink gawking at me with incredulity. His mouth was open and he stared on, eyes roaming up and down me.

I stared back and he lunged again. I had only been training with Theo for a few months, but it was enough to quickly sidestep, grab the man’s arm, and pull him past me. “What do you want?” I asked, feeling like that might have been a stupid question.

The man smiled, half of his teeth rotted. “Heh, I like it when guys enjoy putting up a fight.”

I jabbed quickly upward, bloodying the man’s nose and sending him reeling against the wall. “Yeah, well, don’t mess with me. Got it?”

The man’s brow furrowed with confused anger as he wiped his hand across his face. His gaze slowly rose from the blood on his hand to me. I thought that he was going to lunge again when he threw up a hand in acquiescence.

A sliver of pride encompassed me for handling the situation and I turned to go, when suddenly a bolt from a nearby transistor shot out and zapped him, making him fall to his knees. I registered that the yelp I heard came from me only after I had jumped back.

“Whoa, epic! Heh, you’ve got an angel watching out for you or some shit,” the bouncer commented, making me wheel around. He had been leaning against the wall watching the whole time.

“Isn’t it your job to keep people safe?” I asked, in awe at the man’s nonchalance.

“Nah, my job is to kick guys like that out if they’re making a ruckus inside. Once they’re outside the club, not my problem. ’Sides, looked like you and God could take care of it.” The man continued to chew on a toothpick.

“Robbie?” a voice called nearby. I looked over to see Chance getting off a motorcycle. “Hey, man. What happened?” He was looking past me to the guy who was slumped on the ground.

What was I going to say? My techonmage ex-boyfriend decided to fight my battle for me? “Guess the guy had some sort of conduction material. I don’t know, he tried to attack me, and when I was walking away, I saw some sort of electrical thing happen.”

“Oh my God.” Chance pulled out his phone, and I saw him dial 911. “Are you okay?” he asked, his attention swinging between me, the bouncer, and the guy who was lying on the street. Before I could answer, he called out, “Don’t touch him, he just got electrocuted,” to a couple of men who had emerged from the bar.

I left. No part of me wanted to stand around and answer questions about a fight I had just been in. I didn’t want to hang out with Chance, or anyone for that matter. The man was being tended to and I simply needed to flee.

As I was driving, I called Theo. Of course he answered before it had rung. “Hey.”

“What was that?” I spit out.

Instead of answering, he asked, “Why were you there?”

“Why the hell do you think I was there? You don’t fucking want me, then maybe someone out there will,” I shouted, throwing my phone out the window before he could respond. I pulled over to the side and slumped forward, my entire body wracked again as I sobbed.