Four Nights until New Year’s Eve
Jack pulled out my chair and slid the brocaded fabric cushion beneath me as I sat. The wonderful scent of pasta sauce awakened my appetite as soft music serenaded us in the low lighting.
Beside us, a waiter handed a patron the cork of a bottle to sniff. A man in a chef’s hat sauntered across the room and shook hands with a woman wearing a richly tailored suit. Linen drapes wove in and out of elaborate sconces, accented by stems of fresh cut flowers tucked in perfectly positioned angles.
I realized I was slouching and forced my back straight. How in blazes was Jack going to afford this place?
The restaurant hostess flashed me an agreeable smile and handed me a menu.
“Two glasses of house white wine, please.” Jack nodded to the waiter.
“Right away, sir.”
A wry smile crossed Jack’s lips as he leaned toward me. “So, do you come here often? What do you do for a living? Got any kids?”
“Stop being silly.” I ducked behind my menu to hide the blush I felt heating my cheeks.
“Well, I wanna make sure I give you the full first-date experience.”
A server filled our water glasses and hustled to the next table.
“We can skip all the uncomfortable questions. I already know all your dirty laundry.”
Jack picked up his glass. “Well, here’s to already knowing about each other’s dirty laundry.”
I clicked my glass against his. “And here’s to not caring that you mix your whites with your darks.”
****
Whether from the wine or sheer joy of a wonderful evening, my body jittered with excitement. I swung my purse strap in circles, just because it was fun. A lightness infused my heart, releasing me from trials now forgotten.
Jack followed me up the walkway to my porch. The curtains beside the door pushed to the side as Nicky peered out. She giggled and scooted back, leaving the sheers askew. Little snooper.
I rubbed my gloved hands together. “I had a great time tonight, Jack.”
He slipped his fingers into his coat pockets. “I did too.”
Now what? A pang of fear pushed against my ribs as we faced the dreaded first goodnight kiss.
“So, I guess I’ll see you at work tomorrow. Goodnight.”
Jack’s eyes popped open. “Goodnight? Aren’t you going to invite me in? You always invite me in.”
Oh crud. He’s got you there, Jill. “Yeah, well, that was before. It feels weird, now.”
His hand caressed my cheek. Warm fingers stole the chill from my skin.
“It doesn’t feel weird, Jilly-Jill. It feels right.”
It does. Oh, it does! What was I doing? I turned from his touch, my heart rattling within my chest. It had never been awkward between us. Never. So why was I struggling so? “Jack, I’m just not ready to invite you in.”
“Why not?”
“This is our first real date, and…”
His laugh formed a small white cloud about his lips. The puff swirled once before carrying away on the breeze. “Come on, it’s me. We’ve known each other for six years. I went with you to buy your car last year. I sat beside you when you asked for the annulment. I taught Nicky how to read, for Pete’s sake.”
“I know. Jack, you can’t fathom how important you are to me, but inviting a guy into the house… with Nicole here…”
He ran his fingers through the hair at my temples. “I’m the same guy who’s been here a thousand times. I’m not some schlep you met in a bar. I love you guys.”
Love? I allowed myself the luxury of a brief swim inside the emotion swirling in his eyes. I trusted him more than I’d ever trusted anyone, so why was this so hard?
“I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t feel right anymore, you know… to ask you in.”
“You’re wrong. It’s never felt more right.”
He drew my hair back, exposing my ear to the chilly night air. My neck quaked with a shiver.
“I want to be with you, Jilly-Jill. Come on…” His fingers trailed down my arm and gave me a gentle tug toward the door.
The tremor begun by the cool evening ran down my spine and cumulated at the center of my need. I responded to the ache and took two steps with him. I needed this. I wanted this. Would it be so wrong?
A cold gust of air slapped me across the face, jarring me back to clarity. I dug my heels into the cement walkway, slipping on the ice.
“No.” I slid my arm from his embrace. “Please understand that I’m just not comfortable with this yet.”
All expression drained from his face, followed by a disappointed sadness that raked my soul.
Jack’s gaze dropped toward the snow-covered grass beside the porch and remained there until he raised his eyes and grinned. “You know what, I should have expected this, and I’m sorry.”
He drew his fingers across my cheek, stealing my resolve. My lips opened, ready to invite him in, before he tweaked my nose.
“Tell you what. How about we do something special in a few days? Give this whole I’m dating Jack thing some time to simmer for you, okay?”
Parts of me screamed, yearning to pull him inside, but my subconscious pushed out a relief-filled sigh. “That sounds great.”
“Awesome.” He leaned down and placed a respectful kiss on my cheek. “Goodnight, Jilly-Jill.”
I resisted the urge to watch him drive away, worried I might change my mind. It was better this way. We all needed time to adjust.
“What happened?” Nicky galloped down the stairs in her pink plaid pajamas as I closed the door. “Where’s Uncle Jack?”
“He went home.” I hung up my jacket and rubbed my temples. The sinking in my gut worsened as Jack’s headlights pulled out of the driveway.
“Why? He always comes in to say hello.”
“Yeah, well, not tonight.” I slumped to the kitchen and flopped into a chair beside the table. He’s going to think you’re a prude. He’s not going to want you anymore.
Nicky slid into the seat opposite me. “What happened?”
“Oh, Nic, I hope this wasn’t a mistake.”
She straightened. “Wait… what, Uncle Jack? Uncle Jack’s not a mistake, Mom. Uncle Jack is great!”
“I know he is, sweetie. I just don’t know if I’m ready to get into another relationship yet.”
“Dad’s been gone for three years. How long do you need?”
My eyes widened as I sat back. “That was a little rude, young lady.”
“I’m sorry, but seriously. Why wait? Uncle Jack’s here now, and… well, it’s like they say in the movies, he’s not gonna wait forever.”
I rubbed my forehead. “That’s what I’m worried about.”
“What?”
“Nothing, sweetheart. It’s late. You should be in bed.”