13

EVERY TIME LOTTIE THOUGHT NO one was looking, she’d check her phone. What’s she waiting for? Ellie wondered.

Lottie was still giving her the silent treatment, barely exchanging more than a few words when necessary. It was like she expected something of her, and it wasn’t even angry, it was hopeful, and it only made Ellie feel like she was letting her down even more.

Saskia laughed after a slurp of her ramen. “That’s probably why she won’t speak to you. She wants you to figure out how to fix it on your own. Ask Anastacia.”

Saskia’s skin had grown even darker in the Japanese sun, glowing gold and radiant, but Ellie’s Maravish genes simply gave her a pinkish brown stripe across her nose and cheeks that made her feel like a little kid.

“It’s true,” Anastacia replied, breezing over to the table and taking a seat by her girlfriend. “I’m a terrible communicator.” Chestnut hair billowed behind her with a dismissive swish of her hand, but Ellie was sure that wasn’t it. Lottie was the best communicator she knew.

On the other side of the room Rio made a comment and everyone laughed. Even Lottie and Jamie had the shadow of a smile over their lips, and the two of them looked at one another, some kind of unknowable understanding passing between them, and it made Ellie feel like spitting her food back onto the plate in disgust.

Why did it bother her so much? To see Jamie talking to Lottie again?

It was like she was staring at the happy ending, an alternate dimension where neither of them had ever worked for her family and they could be happy and live normal lives without her.

“You should ask Micky. Ever since he and Percy started dating they’re as perfect as chocolate and strawberries,” Lola trilled.

“We don’t have that problem,” Micky replied casually, sticking his third chocolate biscuit in his mouth.

“See? Perfect.” Lola giggled, and Micky stuck his tongue out playfully back at her.

“No.” He smiled, his blue eyes turning dozy and enchanted as a pink blush crept over his cheeks that reminded Ellie of Lottie. “Because Percy always knows exactly what to do. We couldn’t talk when we met as kids, so we learned how to read each other in different ways.” Micky spoke so candidly, with not an inch of irony or doubt about his boyfriend, that it made Ellie feel awkward. She could never be so open with her emotions.

“Urgh, sometimes I feel like I barely know Lottie at all,” Ellie groaned, planting her forehead on the table with a painful thump. It was too hot in Japan, and their new tiny “time-out” room only made her feel more sticky and out of place.

This is Sayuri’s fault, she thought, but she didn’t really believe it.

“Rosewood students.” Ellie nearly jumped out of her skin as Haru’s breathy voice blew around her. “My apologies, I did not mean to startle you.”

He’d appeared in front of them, dressed a little more sharply than usual, with fitted trousers and a tank top, but his hair was as fluffy as ever.

“Not at all,” Ellie said, trying to compose herself.

“If you would all please come with me to Chiba Sensei’s office. We have a gift for you.”

Nodding reluctantly, Ellie got to her feet. Right now she didn’t feel worthy of a gift.

Chiba Sensei’s office was located on the northern side of the pond by the boys’ dormitory and nestled beside Kou Fujiwara’s museum with its bronze statue of the founder outside brandishing a deadly sword, challenging all who entered her domain. Ellie felt her watching them on their way past, the blade aimed directly at her heart.

As soon as they got to the office, the refreshing scent of sandalwood incense hit them like a bolt of energy. The room was only just large enough to fit all the Rosewood students, with Haru and Sayuri perched at either side of the headmaster behind his desk. Modestly decorated, with a simple tatami mat and a sliding door that looked out over a small zen garden, the room felt ornamental, like they’d walked into an expensive doll’s house and must not touch a thing.

Lips curving in what was almost a smile, the headmaster stepped forward while Haru and Sayuri bowed in respect.

“I have made some very special arrangements for you all. A chance to experience a truly wonderful piece of Japanese culture.”

It was hard to concentrate after the conversation they’d just had. Ellie wanted to get out of the headmaster’s office; the tight space, the ceremony of it all, was like being back at the palace. And then it came, the worst possible gift they could ever have received.

“Haru has brought it to my attention that one of you is celebrating a birthday this weekend, the twenty-sixth of July.”

Oh no.

Haru shot his happy-go-lucky smile directly at Jamie, with no idea of the storm that would follow.

“Every year Takeshin sponsors the Aka Taiyo Matsuri, a festival in Tokyo, and I have arranged for you to attend in celebration of your Partizan’s birthday.”

Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!

There was only one rule Jamie demanded. Do not celebrate his birthday, ever. And, even with their growing distance, she knew better than to break that rule.

Jamie’s presence in the room felt like a growing mass of darkness. She didn’t dare look at him.

Doing better than she was, Lottie held face, armed with a perfectly pleasant smile. “Chiba Sensei,” she said with not even a quiver, “this is indeed a wonderful gesture, but I’m afraid . . .” She trailed off, distracted by what she could see just beyond the headmaster . . . His granddaughter.

Sayuri shook her head in warning, and with one quick motion of her fingers gestured for them to bow.

It appeared this was an offer they were not allowed to refuse.

“But we will need extra security,” Lottie quickly said, bowing as Sayuri had instructed. “Would we be allowed to borrow Haru?”

She was so smart.

How did Lottie think of these things? How was she such a good diplomat? How did she stay so calm when everything was such chaos? And how had Ellie messed everything up so badly?

Bad influence. The words pounded against her skull like a fever.

“Ah, yes.” Chiba Sensei nodded. “I know you have security concerns, but Hinamori-san has assured me that the motorbiking menace has recently been apprehended and will be nothing to worry about. Nevertheless,” he continued, and Ellie strained to listen, hardly believing that fiery force could have been caught and that they would have heard nothing about it, “he will escort you for peace of mind.”

“An excellent idea,” Haru chimed in.

Biting her cheek, Ellie turned her head just enough to see Jamie.

Nothing. His face was entirely blank, a cold wet lump of clay with no emotion or purpose. She wanted to reach over to him to push his nothingness into something, anything, dig deep to find him at the center. But once again all she could think was that this was somehow her fault.

Bowing low, he spoke in a monotone: “Thank you.”

“This is a nightmare,” Ellie groaned.

Saskia pinched Ellie hard on the arm.

“Ouch, what the hell is your problem?”

“See? Not a nightmare.”

Laughing to herself as if she were the funniest person in the world, Saskia ate a spoonful of her vanilla pudding.

Jamie and Lottie had swiftly vanished back to the dining hall, but Ellie couldn’t bear facing their solemn expressions, opting to take her dessert out to the decking by the koi pond, the sun so hot she thought it might melt her face off. Much to her irritation, Saskia had decided to follow.

“You don’t understand. This festival is a curse. I can feel it. Jamie hates his birthday, there’s a possible threat out there, and with this Lottie thing it’s just . . .” Her words dried up and another groan escaped her. “What am I supposed to do? This is all my stupid fault.”

“You’re completely wrong.”

“What?”

“You’re wrong,” Saskia reiterated. “This festival is a blessing. Listen, you have until this weekend to figure out how to make it up to Lottie, and you’d better make it good.”

The smell of the vanilla pudding drowned out everything else, Saskia’s golden spoon swirling in the pot.

“Ellie. You need to be honest with your feelings, from one gay girl to another. That’s all Lottie wants. She wants you to drop your ego and be honest. Tell her what’s bothering you, instead of bottling it all up and pushing her away.”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about.” Ellie felt her defenses come up, an anger that she didn’t understand rising like a hurricane through her body, but Saskia calmly waved it away. “No one would be here in this mess, if not for me. I did this.”

“Do you really believe that? Do you think Lottie believes that?”

A particularly fat koi, gold and crimson, bobbed out of the muddy water, plopping upward ungracefully, and Ellie was sure she could smell it: salt and mud. It was gross. As quickly as it appeared, the fish vanished back into the murk.

“I don’t even know what I believe anymore,” Ellie admitted. “I need to think, but,” she continued, staring at the koi as they moved around in circles, “if I’m going to fix this, I need to do it properly. And that means . . .” She glanced at Saskia. “I need you to do something for me first.”