Viola sighed. What a mess it all was! Dejectedly, she set off to make her report to the duke.
‘Young sir – hello there! A word, if you please!’
Viola turned. It was Olivia’s cousin, the usually drunken Sir Toby, together with his friend Fabian. ‘Yes?’ she said politely.
‘I just wanted to warn you,’ puffed the portly knight. ‘I don’t know what you’ve done to him, but you’ve got an enemy lying in wait for you on the other side of the orchard. He’s breathing fire, I tell you – he’s really very cross!’
Viola was bewildered. ‘Oh, I’m sure you must be mistaken. I haven’t made an enemy of anyone, I’m sure I haven’t.’
‘Oh yes, you have. And, what’s more, he’s big and strong and extremely fierce.’
Viola began to panic. ‘Who is this man?’
‘He’s a knight, fierce and brave. He’s a real killer, and he’s so angry he says nothing less than your death will satisfy him.’
Viola thought fast. ‘I’ll go back to the house and ask for protection.’
‘No, I’m sorry, honour won’t allow it. The knight deserves to be answered, and now you must give him satisfaction. Surely you aren’t afraid?’
‘But I haven’t done anything to him! I don’t even know him! Please, sir – could you find out what this is all about?’
‘Well, I suppose I could try. But I’m not making any promises. Fabian, you wait here with Cesario.’
Anxiously, Viola asked Fabian to tell her what he knew.
‘Only that the knight is well and truly furious with you. And that he’s the best fighter in Illyria. I’d be worried if I were you – very worried.’
‘Oh dear!’ said Viola. What on earth was she to do? If she had to fight Sir Andrew, for one thing everyone would realise she was a fraud, and for another, she’d probably die, so she didn’t need Fabian to tell her she should be worried.
‘You’ll have to go and meet him, you know. Come along – perhaps I can persuade him to make peace with you.’
‘Oh yes, please! I’m no fighter, and I don’t care who knows it.’
Meanwhile, Sir Toby was terrifying Sir Andrew with tales of what a skilled swordsman Cesario was.
‘I’ll have to back out! I can’t take on someone like that,’ spluttered Sir Andrew.
‘Oh nonsense, you’ll be fine. Anyway, you’ve no choice – he’s all fired up now, and he’s on his way.’
‘Tell him he can have my horse – it’s a marvellous horse, he’ll love it. Tell him anything – just get me out of it!’
Sir Toby sighed and shook his head. ‘Well, I’ll see what I can do. But no promises, mind.’ And he hurried off to find Viola.
She was looking pale and anxious.
‘I’m afraid Sir Andrew feels he cannot withdraw,’ he told her. ‘He is an honourable man, you see. What would people think of him? But he’s promised not to hurt you.’
Viola felt sick with fear. But there was no way out. She trailed after Sir Toby – who meanwhile was telling Sir Andrew exactly the same tale.
The intrepid heroes finally came face to face in the street in front of Olivia’s house. Both trembling like leaves, they drew their swords.
Then, suddenly, a complete stranger appeared on the scene. Flourishing his sword, he leapt in front of Viola and ordered Sir Andrew to back off.
‘Who the devil are you?’ asked Sir Toby, peering at the new arrival in astonishment.
‘My name is Antonio, friend to this young man here, and determined to defend him to the death!’
‘Oh,’ said Sir Toby, drawing his own sword. ‘Well, in that case, you’ll have to answer to me.’
‘Sir Toby, stop!’ said Fabian urgently. ‘Look – officers of the law!’
Two sergeants appeared on the scene.
‘Put up your swords, all of you!’ ordered one of them.
‘This isn’t over,’ growled Sir Toby to Antonio.
Viola appealed to Sir Andrew. ‘Sir, do please put up your sword.’
‘Certainly, certainly,’ said Sir Andrew, pushing his sword hastily back into its scabbard. ‘And, by the way, I’ll be as good as my word. It’s a very good horse – I’m sure you’ll be pleased.’
Viola stared at him, bewildered. What on earth was he talking about?
Meanwhile, the mysterious stranger was trying to persuade the officers not to arrest him. ‘You’re mistaking me for someone else,’ he pleaded.
‘Not at all,’ retorted the sergeant. ‘I know perfectly well who you are. You’re an enemy of Illyria, and the duke will be delighted to see you – in chains! Take him away, boys.’
Antonio turned to Viola. ‘Alas! The game’s up. I don’t regret what I’ve done, but I’m afraid I must ask you to give me back what’s left of the money. As you see. I’m going to need it.’
‘What money, sir?’ Viola was now thoroughly confused. ‘I’m very grateful for what you did, and I’ll gladly lend you half of what I have, but I’m afraid that doesn’t amount to very much.’
Antonio couldn’t believe it. How could Sebastian be so ungrateful? After all he’d done!
‘Come along, sir,’ said the sergeant grimly.
‘Wait … wait just a minute! How can this be? Sebastian, I saved your life, I cared for you – is this how you’re going to reward me? Have you no shame?’
‘Oh, you’re breaking my heart, you really are,’ said the sergeant. ‘Come along now – time to go. There’s a nice comfy dungeon waiting for you.’
Viola watched them leave. She was beginning to understand. ‘He really believes it,’ she said to herself. ‘He thinks I’m Sebastian. Does this mean what I think it does? Could it possibly be that my brother is still alive?’ In a dream, she began to walk back to Orsino’s.
Sir Toby was disapproving. ‘Did you see that? What a coward. And fancy letting his friend down like that. Very bad form.’
‘Definitely a coward,’ agreed Fabian.
‘I’ll go after him,’ blustered Sir Andrew. ‘I’ll beat him within an inch of his life – I’ll teach him not to mess with me!’
Chuckling, Sir Toby and Fabian followed to see the fun.
‘Let me get this right,’ said Feste, as he and Sebastian stood in the street near Olivia’s house. ‘Are you trying to tell me you’re not the person I’ve been sent to fetch?’
Sebastian stared at him in astonishment. Was the man mad? ‘I don’t know who lives in this house, and I’ve never met you before in my life.’
Feste bristled. ‘And I suppose I don’t know you, and my lady didn’t send me to speak to you, and your name’s not Master Cesario – and this here isn’t my nose!’ he said, touching it. ‘In fact, nothing that is so is so!’
Sebastian was beginning to feel annoyed. ‘Look, why don’t you just clear off? You’ve obviously mistaken me for someone else.’
‘Oh, is that a fact?’ sneered Feste. ‘Right – well I’ll just go back in and tell my lady then, and see what she has to say about it!’
At this moment, Sir Andrew, Sir Toby and Fabian arrived. Sir Andrew swaggered up to Sebastian, putting up his fists. ‘Ha! Got you! Here – take this!’ And he punched him hard.
Sebastian promptly put up his own fists. ‘What is going on? You’re all completely mad! Take this then – and this!’
‘Stop!’ said Sir Toby, grabbing Sebastian’s arm. ‘Leave him alone!’
‘I’ll have the law on him, the scoundrel!’ huffed Sir Andrew.
‘Let me go!’ roared Sebastian.
‘Certainly not,’ said Sir Toby. ‘You need to calm down, young man.’
‘I said, let me go!’ And with that, Sebastian shook off Sir Toby and drew his sword. Not to be outdone, Sir Toby drew his, and they began to circle round each other warily.
Suddenly the door to Olivia’s house was flung open and she appeared, looking furious. ‘Toby! How dare you? Put up your sword this instant, and get out of my sight! Go on – go! Cesario, I’m so sorry – please come inside. My stupid cousin’s always causing trouble, I don’t know why I put up with it. Just because he is my cousin, I suppose… I hope you can forgive him.’
Sebastian was now completely bewildered. This woman appeared to be mad, too. But she was also very beautiful, and he allowed her to persuade him to go inside.
‘Come now,’ she was saying. ‘I wish you’d do as I say.’
‘Oh,’ he said, looking at her admiringly, ‘I will!’
She looked at him, startled. Cesario seemed to have changed his tune. ‘Well … good!’ she murmured.
A little later, not content with just locking Malvolio up, Maria, Feste and Sir Toby were discussing plans to torment him further. Feste dressed up in a clerical robe and a false beard to look like a priest they knew called Sir Topas, and they went to see the prisoner.
Malvolio begged the so-called priest to go to Olivia for him, and ask her to release him from this hideous darkness.
‘Darkness? Why, you poor lunatic, this room is as bright as day! You’re possessed by the devil – it’s quite clear that you are. You must stay here, I’m afraid.’
‘But can’t you see – I’m no more mad than you are!’ said poor Malvolio.
It was all great fun, but Sir Toby knew it couldn’t go on much longer. ‘My niece is really cross with me,’ he said to Feste after they’d left the miserable steward. ‘I’d love to carry on with this, but if she finds out what we’ve been up to, I think that’ll be it. She’ll throw me out, and then what will I do? Feste, you’d better go and see him again, just as yourself. We’d better wind it up.’
And, regretfully, after just a little more teasing, Feste agreed to fetch light, ink and paper, so that Malvolio could write and explain himself to Olivia.
While Malvolio was shut in darkness, unable to understand how he’d been brought so low, Sebastian, equally confused, was outside in the sunshine contemplating his good fortune. Olivia had presented him with a beautiful pearl, and made it very clear that she was desperately in love with him – yet he’d only just met her. He shook his head in puzzlement. He wondered where Antonio was. Antonio was older and more experienced; Sebastian had come to rely on his advice. Could Olivia be mad? She didn’t seem mad. And how could she manage her house and servants so well if she was? No, it didn’t make sense. Nothing made sense. There was definitely more to all this than met the eye. Ah – here she was. And with … a priest? Her eyes were shining with excitement. How lovely she was! She took his hand.
‘If you love me, my precious, come with me now, and this priest shall marry us in secret. We needn’t tell anyone until you’re ready, but I would feel so much better if I knew you were really mine in the sight of God. Will you do this for me?’
How could he refuse her? Actually, he didn’t even want to. He kissed her hand. ‘I will. I’ll go with you and, having sworn truth, ever will be true.’
Olivia closed her eyes and sighed with happiness. At last!