(Mature Content)
Marcus refused to go into the details about his encounter with Rahell. I can’t believe that she would really do such a thing. I try and get the truth out him, but he doesn’t want to talk about it.
What he does want to do is be with me. I can feel it in his stare. It’s like he can see through my clothes. If this were just lust, it wouldn’t be a big deal, but it’s never just physical with us. He has spent the past two days in agony and now he wants me. He thinks my touch can make it better; I know that, because I think his touch can do the same for me.
Many times I’ve come into the room and had to literally count to ten to keep from leaping into his arms and kissing him. That is the reason I try to not to stay too long. I just apply his meds, change the sheets and head back out, but this time, it’s different. Marcus has had enough of me trying to run away from him.
He stands in front of the door, blocking my exit. I move to go around him, but there’s no way for me to get to the door handle. The air crackles with apprehension and desire. The fact that he’s shirtless makes things even more precarious.
I keep looking down at the floor because I know once I look into his smoldering, intense gaze; I won’t be able to walk away from him—or from us.
“Excuse me. I need to…” I can’t finish my sentence because it’s too hard to talk with him so close to me. His presence takes up the whole room.
“Baby, look at me,” he says.
Being this close to him makes it impossible to find and sort out my feelings. I want him more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. I hate him more than I’ve ever hated anyone. And love, yes, I love him more than I have ever loved anyone.
“Look at me,” he whispers.
His lips brush against my ear and send a current of longing so powerful it makes me moist. My body knows that the guy it has ached for, begged for, is near; now everything in me seeks his touch.
It’s not only lust that drives me to want him. It’s my heart. My heart wants him. I scold it for being so weak, but the truth is undeniable. My heart longs for him shamelessly.
When I don’t look up at him, he gently lifts my head up so that we are now making eye contact. The moment we lock eyes, my emotions overwhelm me.
“Marcus, move,” I beg.
“Where are you going?”
“I can’t be in here with you.”
“I don’t want you to leave this room. Stay with me,” he implores.
I realize he won’t unblock my path, so I back away from him and head to the opposite side of the bedroom.
“Emmy—”
“—don’t do that,” I order him.
“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t call my name with longing in your voice. Don’t gaze at me like I’m the most important thing in your life. Don’t stand there and block the door because you would do anything to have me here with you. Don’t do any of it.”
“Why?”
“BECAUSE I CAN’T THINK MARCUS; YOU’RE STANDING THERE, WANTING ME, NEEDING ME AND YOU HAVE TO STOP, BECAUSE I CAN’T THINK!”
“Emmy—” he calls out as he heads towards me.
“—Stop it! Stay over there. Stay where you are!” I scream at him as tears flood my eyes.
“Okay, okay. I’m not gonna come any closer,” he says, standing with his hands up.
“I can’t do this. I can’t let you hurt me anymore. I can’t…”
“Just tell me what to do, baby; tell me how to make it better,” he pleads.
“No, you enjoy this. You like pulling me close so you can break my heart again and again. What did I do to deserve that?”
“You don’t deserve to have your heart broken.”
“THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP DOING IT???”
“I tried not to hurt you…I tried, baby, I did,” he swears.
“I just want to be free of you,” I plead.
“I’m the one who’s being held captive,” he replies.
“Wait, what?”
“I’m one the most formidable Angels that ever lived and a hundred pound human has me completely powerless. You own me. You own my thoughts. You own my actions, my heart and my body. I have NOTHING that’s my own and you think you need to be freed?”
“Marcus—”
“--I’VE BEEN YOUR SLAVE FROM DAY ONE!”
“That’s bullshit, Marcus. You tell me you love me then you marry another girl. You tell me you want to be with me and then you send me away.”
“I know, I’m sorry,” he says, coming closer.
“You always have a reason, but I don’t care anymore. I don’t care what your reasons are. It’s too hard to be with you. I give up. I don’t want you.”
He shakes his head as if to say “it can’t be” and he closes the gap between us. I look up at his impossibly perfect face; my fingers long to trace his lips. My tongue pleads to taste him and my legs desperately yearn to wrap around him. From the tips of my hair to the tips of my toes, I ache for him. My entire body begs me to give in to him.
“I don’t want you,” I whisper again.
I can “see” my words searing into his flesh. Hearing that I no longer want him cuts so deep he lashes out by wrapping his powerful hand around my throat. My pulse races from his touch. He could very easily kill me. He’s angry and broken.
“Stop,” he warns me, deeply pained.
“I don’t want you,” I repeat again, determined to wound him even further.
I am right; it does wound him, but much like a wounded animal, he is now even more dangerous and unpredictable. Without warning, Marcus picks me up and props me up against the windowsill. I’m caught totally off guard and stare back at him, shocked.
I know that my words are ripping him apart. I know that I should stop now while he’s still in control, but I can’t. I want him to hurt like he hurt me. So I repeat it one last time.
“I don’t want you.”
He gasps as my words latch on to his heart; twist and pull out what’s left of it. He opens my legs, seeking shelter from the pain, but I can’t just let him in; not again.
“You said you wanted me to stay away,” I remind him in a weak voice.
“I can’t. I tried. Omnis knows, I tried.”
He starts making circular patterns with his hand on my inner thigh; it drives me insane with desire. My heart pounds in my ears, the blood rushes to my face and I have to bite my lower lip to keep it from trembling.
I need to think. I need to figure things out, but there is no time. His fingers send sparks throughout my body and I want more.
“You said…you asked me to go away…you sent me away,” I reply breathlessly.
I didn’t mean for my voice to convey my pain, but it did. I know he heard it. He heard the sharp disappointment and feelings of betrayal.
“You have every right to turn me away, but don’t. Please don’t turn me away,” he begs.
He kisses all of my fingers and begs with each kiss that I do not turn him away. I turn to him and see the agony on his face. He gathers my shirt under his hand and pulls me toward him firmly.
“Why can’t I stay away from you?” He asks with a mix of passion and self-loathing.
It’s then that I remember its not just Marcus who has a hold on me; I have a hold on him.
I reach over and take out a vial of Trickk and Tam. Marcus is so anxious to have me; he doesn’t even wait for me to swallow. His picks me up and in one effortless motion, carries me over to the bed.
He stands over me, hungry and on the brink of losing his mind should I prevent him from getting inside me, but that’s just what I do.
“Stop,” I call out.
He halts immediately because of my tone; I am not playing.
“The next time you send me away, Marcus, I won’t come back.”
“Emmy I know—”
“—I’m serious, Marcus. You hurt me again and I swear on my mother’s grave, I will never take you back. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Good, come here,” I command.
I kiss him deeply. He growls and hungrily returns my kiss. He lays me down flat on my back and inhales my scent. That seems to drive him even further over the edge. He rips my shirt off. He then pops my nipples into his mouth and feverishly sucks on them. When he bathes my inner thigh with his tongue and works his way to my center, I swear out loud as an exquisite wave of pleasure engulfs me.
When he inserts himself into me, the intensity of his thrusts makes me cry out. There’s fire in his eyes as he claims my body repeatedly with his possessive thrusts. The force behind his movement is almost deadly.
While this is the most pleasure I’ve ever experienced, for Marcus it’s a mix of emotions. He has given in and while that satisfies his body and his heart, his conscience is unsettled.
I can tell, because with every life affirming thrust, he whispers that he tried to stay away.
I sit up unexpectedly and flip over, so that I’m now on top, straddling him. He’s surprised by the sudden move. I’m now controlling the situation. I take his face in my hands.
“Marcus, I know you tried to stay away because you want the best for me. You were wrong. It was a selfish, asshole move. Deal with it and move on.”
He reflects on what I just said.
“Marcus, can we get past this?” I push.
“Yes,” he replies.
I drape my leg over his shoulder and warn him.
“Guardian, you better hold on to something…”