Have you ever looked at the person in front of you and wanted to shake the hell out of them? I mean really, grab hold of them and shake them senseless? Well that’s what I’m feeling right now. It’s a good thing that Miku is powerful and I love her, because right now, I desperately want to throttle her.
“Please tell me I’m on some ‘hidden camera’ Angel TV show, and someone will come out here and say it’s all been a joke,” I say to Miku.
“Wait, let me explain,” she begs.
“Yes, please, please explain. And whatever you say better start with ‘In my drug induced haze…’”
“When I’m with Jay it makes me so happy, but that happiness also comes with a lot of guilt. Given all the things I’ve done, do I deserve to be happy? Do I deserve Jay? No, I don’t. So while being with him makes me happy, it’s also really draining.”
“So what does being with a Demon do for you?” I ask.
“It sets me free.”
“What?”
“I mean…I don’t feel guilt when I’m with guys who are evil because I’m one of them.”
“Miku, you are not.”
“Yes, I am. Or least I’ve done what they have; I’ve killed and hurt innocent people. When I hook up with a Demon, I know they aren’t judging me.”
“Jay does not judge you. You are the one judging yourself, and what does this have to do with the fact that there are three guys?” I snap.
“There are three guys because not one of them is really important. I can barely keep their names straight. They’re just there as a stress relief.”
“That’s Jay’s job. Miku, why are you betraying him?”
“I don’t mean to, but it calls on me,” she says, heartbroken.
“What calls on you?”
“Darkness. Evil. And even though in the end I always regret it, I can’t help but seek it out.”
“Miku, that’s not good enough. And I don’t believe that you would break Jay’s heart just because you have a thing for guys with black wings.”
“No it’s not just that…”
“Then what is it?” I push.
“When I’m with the other guys, I’m not a…Guardian.”
“Excuse me?”
“Everything about being with Jay reminds me of Guardian life. And everything about that life reminds me of Rio. I’m not running to other guys, I’m running from all the memories of Rio.”
“I understand it’s hard for you, Miku, but what you’re doing is wrong.”
“I know that and I’m sorry.”
“I’m not the one you have to apologize to.”
“You don’t understand how much turning into Redd has cost me. Then Rio dies and…Emmy, I needed an escape. I needed to pretend like I was just another Angel. I needed to get away from my life.”
The tone of her voice tugs at my heartstrings. The profound sadness in her eyes makes it hard to stay angry with her. She looks lost and desperate. It’s ironic that she should be so powerful and so small at the same time. I embrace her tightly.
“I know you’re hurting, Pretty. I know you miss Rio and things really suck right now, but it doesn’t change the fact that you are betraying Jay.”
She pulls away from me and looks into my eyes. Had she been human, she would surely have been weeping.
“I know. I just…I don’t know what to say to him,” she confesses.
“You better figure it out and soon.”
“Do you think he’ll forgive me?” She asks with a small voice.
“I don’t know, Pretty, this is going to cut him deeply.”
“Have you told anyone about this?” She asks.
“Rage saw you, too.”
“What?” She says, in full panic mode.
“Don’t worry, he won’t say anything.”
“How do you know that? Oh my Omnis, he’s gonna tell Jay,” she says, jumping to her feet.
“No, he’s not. Rage has enough on his mind. You and Jay are the last thing he’s thinking about.”
She breathes a sigh of relief and sits back down.
“Miku, Jay needs to know,” I remind her.
“I’ll tell him as soon as I figure out what to say.”
“Look, Miku, I love you, but I love Jay, too. He needs to know what you’ve been doing. I’ll give you time to figure out how to tell him, but do it soon, because if you don’t, I will.”
Shortly after Miku goes back inside, my head begins to ache. The sharp pain gathers on one side of my head, and spreads down my neck. Suddenly, I need to shield my eyes from the light. I want to go inside my room, but even the thought of moving is too much, let alone actual movement. I hold on to the arm of the bench and try to breathe past my pain.
“Are you alright?” A voice says.
I can’t look up to see him, but judging from his voice, it’s Alex.
“I’m fine,” I lie.
“So when do we break for dinner on these missions?”
“Eating takes a back seat to missions. In fact, I think in the past year and a half, I’ve eaten twice.”
“Really?”
“Eating is a human thing and often they forget to make time for it,” I say, hoping to distract myself from the pain.
“Well, I think we should protest. Nothing fancy. You know a few picket signs and a march around a chosen skyscraper, chanting, ‘What do we want?’ ‘Food!’ ‘When do we want it?’ ‘Now!’”
I start to laugh, but it quickly turns into a groan.
“Emerson, what is it?” He says.
“It’s just a headache, it’ll pass,” I reply.
“Do you need anything?”
“No, I’m—” I inhale sharply as the pain increases.
“That’s not just a headache, it’s a migraine. My dad used to get them.”
“Oh,” is all I can manage to say.
Then he tells me he will be right back. I’m not sure how much time lapses, only minutes I guess, but with the pounding in my head it feels more like an hour. Alex returns with a bottle of aspirin he got from the motel owner and a can of soda.
“Take the pills with the soda - the caffeine will help,” he instructs.
I do as he says; I pop two pills in my mouth and wash it down with the cola.
“I can help you back to the room, if you want,” he offers.
“No, I’m good here.”
“Okay, keep your eyes closed, and breathe deeply,” Alex says.
He sits next to me and begins to massage my neck. The moment his hands make contact with my body I feel a tingle. That tingle is immediately followed by a wave of guilt. I’m about to tell him I don’t need a massage, but then he touches a spot at the base of my neck; the pressure feels wonderful. I moan with relief as he expertly kneads my neck and shoulders.
“That feels so good,” I admit.
“You’re really tense,” he replies.
“There’s a lot going on.”
“Is it usually like this?” He asks.
“Like what?”
“You know; battles, blood, death…”
“Yeah, it’s pretty much always this way,” I admit.
“Well I hope they put together a nice retirement package for you when this is all over,” he jokes.
“I heard rumors about a gold watch…” I reply.
“Impressive.”
We both laugh at the notion; my headache starts to die down slightly.
“Can I get in on the joke or is it only a joke for two?” A voice says behind us.
I turn and find my fiancée looking suspiciously at us. My headache returns to full force.
All the tension that Alex had rubbed out of my body has found its way back in.
“Marcus, hey,” I say, sounding extra lame as I stand up.
“Am I interrupting something?” Marcus asks, in a voice too polite to be authentic.
“No, Alex was just…it was…nothing,” I mumble.
“I’m gonna go back to my room. See you later, Emerson,” Alex says as he walks past Marcus.
Marcus calls out after him.
“Alex, just so I know, is this part of your job description?”
“Excuse me?” Alex replies.
“Is rubbing up against her part of the job?” Marcus asks again.
“I was just trying to help,” Alex says, with a layer of frost in his voice.
“Well don’t,” Marcus replies, with growing hostility.
“Look, I get you don’t want me here, but what you don’t get is that I really don’t want to be here either. I’m doing a favor for the Originals. You have a problem with me, take it up with them. Otherwise, learn to deal,” Alex reassures him.
“The only reason I’m not ripping your spinal cord out from your body and walking over your bloody corpse is because of the Sib; but do not think, for one second, you can talk to me any way you want, Reviewer,” Marcus warns him in a steely tone.
“Is that supposed to scare me?” Alex replies, bemused.
Marcus walks up to him with absolute resolve and growing anger. The two are now mere inches apart. The tension in the air seems to make everything around us stop. My headache has now given way to dread. These two are only seconds away from tackling each other.
“Guys, c’mon, back off,” I plead.
They pay me no mind at all. It’s like they don’t even hear me.
“You remember this, human. You touch her again and there won’t be enough body parts left to have a funeral,” Marcus swears.
“And you remember this, Guardian. I don’t take orders from you, or anyone else. And so long as Emerson is good with it, I’ll touch her anytime I want.”
The words barely make it out of Alex’s mouth when Marcus pulls back to punch him in the face. Had he been human, Marcus’s blow would be bloody and painful, but being the First Guardian, his punches are nothing short of deadly, especially to a human.
“Marcus, no!” I scream as I jump in between them.
At the last second, Marcus alters his swing so that it hits the tree off to the side. The tree is pulled from its roots and falls helplessly to the ground. What’s even more shocking than the blow Marcus was about to administer is the fact that Alex didn’t flinch. He remained steady, even in the face of certain death.
“Alex, go back to your room,” I tell him.
The two remain exactly where they are, never once taking their eyes off each other.
“Alex, please,” I beg.
The two of them exchange mutual looks of contempt, and Alex turns and walks off. I wait for him to completely disappear inside his room before I address Marcus.
“Were you seriously going to attack the guy that holds Ameana’s son’s fate?” I ask furiously.
“He had his hands all over you!” Marcus accuses.
“That’s what you do when you give someone a massage,” I reply, unwisely.
“Why was he massaging you?” Marcus demands.
“I had a…”
I don’t finish my statement fearing that if Marcus knew I had yet another tension headache, he might try to make me sit out the mission.
“You had a what?” He asks.
“Nothing. Look, Alex and I weren’t doing anything,” I vow.
“That’s not what it looked like. You’re sitting out here, moaning while some guy rubs on you. Now you stand there and tell me it’s nothing? What the hell is going on?”
“I told you it was nothing. And since when do you go around hitting innocent humans?”
“Since I found one of them fondling my fiancée!”
“He wasn’t ‘fondling’ me in that way, and you were wrong to go after him like that.”
“Are you kidding me? I had every right to go after him.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Whatever, from now on, you are to stay away from him,” he orders.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“You don’t tell me what to do, Marcus Cane. Just because we’re together doesn’t mean I take orders from you.”
“Argh! You know you’re in the wrong on this one. If you came out here and found me massaging some girl, you would totally lose it.”
“I think given the fact that you screwed another girl, you can let some guy give me a massage.”
“Really, Emmy? Really? That’s where you want to take this? So, you let Alex grab on you as revenge for Bianca?”
“No, I didn’t, but I think I deserve some leeway.”
“Okay, fine, how much leeway do you want? Should Alex be allowed to kiss you? Should he be allowed to fondle your breasts or can maybe he should just go straight to fucking you.”
I slap him. Hard. I didn’t even know I was going to do it. It just happened. The words came out of his mouth and my hand immediately made contact with his face. It didn’t hurt him; not physically, anyway.
He looks back at me, enraged. He could end my life in one effortless motion, but I don’t care. I don’t back down. I look right into his eyes and, like Alex, I too am unflinching.
“You are never to talk to me like that again, Marcus. Do you understand?” I ask fiercely.
He doesn’t reply. He just looks back at me with an intense gaze.
“DO YOU HEAR ME?” I shout.
“Yeah, I hear you,” he says in a quiet reflection.
Neither of us know what to do at the moment. We’re both so angry and so frustrated; we just want to run from here, but we can’t because we are tied to each other. Tied by something both wondrous and cruel at the same time: love.
“Bitch, I will kill you,” a voice swears behind me.
I turn around and find Ameana, fully enraged and walking toward me.
“What is it?” I ask her, confused.
“I was kidding before when I hinted that you might like Alex, but you really do, don’t you?” She asks.
“What? No, I—”
“—Alex stands in the way of my son’s life and you want to screw with his heart, so you can make Marcus jealous?” Ameana replies.
“No, that’s not what I’m doing,” I swear.
“I will not allow you to play games with Alex. What happens when you’re done with him and go back to Marcus? What will he do when he’s pissed and heartbroken? You don’t think he’ll seek revenge?” She shouts.
“No, he’s not like that,” I reply.
“Bullshit. You screw with him and he will kill my son.”
“I am not screwing with him and you need to back off,” I reply again, growing more irate by the second.
“Ameana, don’t do this,” Marcus says, trying to taking her hand.
Ameana pulls free of his hold and gets in my face. By this time the whole team is out in the courtyard.
“Mimi, let it go,” Miku replies.
“No! Emmy could mess up everything. She plays her little mind games with Alex and then he takes it out on my son. I swear to Omnis, you break that boy’s heart and I will gut you worse than Lucy did your mother.”
I lunge at her without hesitation. The sudden movement throws her off and that allows me to actually make contact with her face. I gather the skin from right her cheeks under my nails and pull. She cries out, more from shock than actual pain.
She waves her hand and sends me hurling on to the other side of the courtyard. Rage grabs Ameana and restrains her. Marcus and Miku run over to me. Meanwhile, Jay, Rage and Eta check on Ameana.
“YOU PLAY WITH MY SON’S LIFE AND I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!” Ameana screams venomously from across the yard.
“YOU TALK ABOUT MY MOTHER AGAIN AND RAGE WILL BE A SINGLE PARENT!” I promise her.
Just then, a figure pops up on a Port right before us.
“Um…did I come at a bad time?” The figure asks.
“Tony, you can’t just appear out of nowhere,” Marcus scolds.
“Just once I would a like to hear ‘Hey, Tony, been a long time. We miss you,’ or ‘Hey, Tony, how’s business.’” Tony complains.
He looks around and sees that no one on the team is smiling. That’s when Tony takes in the scene. Ameana and I are on separate sides of the courtyard, ready to kill each other, and the team is frantically stepping in to stop us.
“Wow, um…tension is kind of high, right now. Maybe I’ll come back,” Tony remarks.
“What did you want?” Marcus asks.
“I came here as more of a…confession of sorts,” Tony says.
In the past, Tony has unintentionally caused this team a lot of problems. And while we love him, when he says he has a confession to make, it usually results in Marcus rightfully wanting to beat the hell out him.
Judging by the now stern expression on Marcus’s face, I’m not the only one who knows what damage the Seller can do, given his frequent contact with evil.
“Tony what did you do?” Marcus orders.
“I didn’t do anything, I swear,” Tony replies.
“Then what are you confessing to?” I ask.
“Eavesdropping. I overheard something at Hun’s Market and I thought you should know about it.”
“What is it?” Marcus pauses.
“Rumor has it you were attacked and, while no one can confirm it, it may have been Rahell. Is that true?” Tony asks.
“Yes, it is, but what does—”
“—I know why Rahell attacked you,” Tony says.
“She just lost her sister,” Marcus adds, very uneasily.
“That’s part of it, but while she was angry, she wasn’t destructive until someone encouraged her to seek out vengeance. That being also obtained the Sive and gave it to Rahell to lace her weapon with. They used Rahell’s rage as weapon against you,” Tony says to Marcus.
“Who was it? Who sent Rahell to kill Marcus?” I ask.
“Julian.”
“DAMN IT!” Marcus shouts as he kicks a nearby tree.
The anger rising up in me makes it hard for my hands to stay steady. Marcus is deeply troubled and Tony stands before us, regretting the role of messenger he’s had to play.
“Are you sure?” Eta asks.
“I know the Seller he went to. He showed me the logbook he keeps. He bragged about selling a Sive to the original First Guardian,” Tony relies.
He runs his hand through his hair in an attempt to calm down, but it doesn’t work. He paces back and forth in astonishment.
“Seriously what the fuck is wrong with your father?” Marcus asks.
I don’t reply. I have no words.
“Never mind him trying to kill me, this mission would be dead too. That means countless Angels would be—ARGH!!!!” Marcus says balling hands into fists yet again.
“Marcus, I know you’re upset, but we need to stay calm down and try to figure this out.” I reply.
“There’s nothing to figure out! Your father is fucking crazy and he almost cost us everything. EVERYTHING!” Marcus rages.
“We need to talk about this—” I say, taking his hand.
He pulls away and puts his palm up, as if to say he’s had enough.
“I just…I’m gonna take a walk,” Marcus says, shaking his head.
I open my mouth to try and convince him to stay, but before I can, he’s already half way down the street.
“So, Julian’s trying to screw everything up too, huh? I guess being an asshole runs in the family,” Ameana says as she heads back to the room.
Rage and Miku look back at me apologetically and follow Ameana back into the room.
Jay and Eta go after Marcus to make sure he’s okay. Alex is about to approach me, but then thinks better of it and goes back inside.
Tony and I are alone in the courtyard, watching Marcus get smaller and smaller as he walks away, I think back to the night he came to my door, half dead. I recall the excruciating pain he was in and the torture of watching him lie on the floor, knowing he may never wake up…
“Tony, we need to talk,” I inform him.
“I know, I still haven’t found the being you’re looking for, but I’m on it. It shouldn’t be long now,” Tony assures me.
“Never mind that, for now. Do you remember the vial I saw in your book, when you first showed it to me?” I ask. “The purple and blue liquid vial with the red streaks streaming around it?”
“Yes.” Tony replies.
“What is it called again?” I ask.
“Maze.”
“Yes, that one. I want you to make that for me.”
“Emmy, you’re looking for something to get your father off your back, but that’s not what Maze does. Maze is a poison, it kills.”
“I know. Get to work.”