I took a deep breath and looked up into the stands. There was Mr. Dietrich, on his feet training his binoculars right at me and my coaches. Not too far away sat my mom with her hands clasped like someone in church. Right next to her sat Izzy with her friend Mya.
I looked Coach Hubbard in the eye. “Estevan.”
Coach Hubbard wrinkled up his face. “Estevan, what?”
I looked out onto the field at the forty yards between where the ball sat and the goal line we needed to cross. Everything I wanted was mine if I could just get that stupid funny-shaped leather ball across it, but it was too far for me to throw it. It just was. The truth of it was as painful as Jackson’s hurt knee. I wanted to win and I wanted it to be me, but something Coach Hubbard said was rattling around in my brain.
When you want to win, he had said, you put yourself second.
“Estevan,” I said, repeating his name. “You got to put him in for me.”
“Wait, what?! You’re taking yourself out?” Coach Vickerson didn’t try to hide the disgust in his voice. To him, I was quitting, folding under the pressure and giving up on my team.
That made me mad. How could he question me after all I’d been through? But I realized that everyone else’s reaction would be the same as Coach Vickerson’s. It looked like a cowardly move on my part. Even if we miraculously got the touchdown we needed to win, I couldn’t help thinking that Mr. Dietrich might give the team to Dillon anyway. After all, it wouldn’t be me beating Dillon. It would be Estevan.
Coach Hubbard’s words replayed themselves in my mind again. “Coach, I want to win this thing, just like you.”
I jammed the end of my mouth guard between my teeth and bit down, spending my frustration and anger before I removed it to speak. “We got one play. Their corners have been jumping our routes the entire game. I know what their coaches told them, not to worry about the deep ball against me. I can’t throw it deep. But Estevan can.” I stared at Coach Hubbard. “From the old offense, the Hail Mary. Estevan can throw it. Griffin can catch it.”
“What are you going to do?” Coach Hubbard asked, still not fully understanding.
I huffed. “I’m gonna stand here and watch with you. When you want to win, you put yourself second, right?”
I can’t even explain the look on Coach Hubbard’s face: the surprise, the wisdom, and the pride all at the same time. “Okay.” He nodded and gave me a hard wink and hollered for Estevan. Estevan bounced over with his helmet under his arm. His uniform was sweat-soaked as much as anyone’s because Estevan was the starting free safety on our defense.
“You can throw it forty yards, right, Estevan?” I asked.
Estevan grinned. “You know I can, Ry-Guy.”
I nodded at Coach Hubbard, who cleared his throat. “Okay, Estevan, Hail Mary play. Double slots. Throw it to Griffin’s side. Just chuck it up there, whether he’s covered or not. Got that? It’s our last chance.”
Estevan’s face went instantly serious. “Got it, Coach.”
I watched, standing there beside my coaches, second-guessing myself with every step Estevan took toward the huddle. I knew how dangerous a move this was. If we lost, I’d be painted as the kid who bailed in the final moments of a hard-fought battle, a total loser. If we won, I was hoping people would credit me for the self-sacrifice. That’s not the way it works in football, though, especially in Texas. Estevan would be the hero and everything good I’d done would be forgotten.
It wouldn’t be my win, it would be his. Dillon—and I had to believe Mr. Dietrich—would point out that I’d quit, pulling myself from the game and thereby losing the contest that my father’s letter had said was between Dillon and me. I hadn’t stopped to figure out any of this. I’d only been thinking of winning.
Either way, it was too late. Before I knew it, Estevan was jogging to the line with my offense, taking my snap and dropping back into my pocket.
Dillon came at him fast on a blitz, too fast, leaping over the top of one lineman and swimming Bryan Markham like a stack of Jell-O.
Whether Estevan would even get the pass off was in serious doubt.
He reared back in total panic.