Four months passed, yet Joachim did not return home. Anna grew increasingly worried, since his shepherds claimed he had not come for sacrificial sheep to drive to the temple. Where had he gone? Was he still alive? Why had he promised, not only her, but his brothers that he would make a final attempt to persuade the priests to accept his offering? It was mystifying, since Anna’s countless inquiries in both Nazareth and Sepphoris brought forth no inkling of the cause of his disappearance.
She finally sent an urgent inquiry to his brothers in Shiloh. Within a week, the oldest brother, Cleophas, came to her. He said that no one in his area had seen Joachim either. He immediately set out to question everyone he met in Galilee—farmers, shopkeepers, herdsmen, housewives. He combed the surrounding hills and went as far as Mount Carmel to query the monks there, yet there was no trace of the missing man anywhere.
Cleophas was in no hurry to return to Shiloh since his invalid wife had recently died. Sharing their mutual grief supported both of them. At times they sat together in the courtyard, hoping that Joachim would suddenly put in his appearance.
The evening before Cleophas was to return home, Anna pointed to the sky. “Have you noticed how brilliant in color the sunsets have become? Autumn clouds are making their appearance too. That means the rains are not far off. Just as my lovely flowers have gone to seed, I, too, am withering a little more each day. I’m tormented by the thought that Joachim lies dead in a remote place where people never go.”
Cleophas spoke gently. “I share with you the agony of uncertainty, but you will destroy yourself if you continue to despair. You must think of your future. God has special plans for you—in his wise timing. Now that you have been denied children, what do you seek from life?”
“The pleasure of healing people, of relieving pain. I draw such strength from you, Cleophas. You are very special. You are the only person who has been able to take away my feeling of guilt and unworthiness. Your coming has brought me great comfort.”
Cleophas’ deep blue eyes looked lovingly at her. He took her hands in his and kissed them. “You’ve replaced my pain with understanding. Along my route home tomorrow, I’ll inquire in every house of prayer in Galilee and Samaria and Judea. If Joachim does not return soon, I will be back. You have never been weak, Anna. The Lord God will sustain you, and, I hope, me. We must continue to believe Joachim is alive, somewhere.”
* * *
The night following Cleophas’ departure, Anna was awakened by the sound of celestial music. It was so exquisite, she was sure it came from a heavenly choir. She sat up in her bed, the music faded away, and on the wall next to her a large golden letter, M, appeared. What did it mean? She slipped into a robe and went to her shrine. There she removed the small casket given her by her father, Stolan, so long ago. She fingered lightly its holy objects, then prayed silently over them for some time. The fresh night air invited her into her garden. She felt a high elation now. She was happier than she had been in years.
She sat down on her customary meditation bench. Why was she filled with this strange, all-encompassing joy? Was Joachim on his way home? The high vibration in her body and mind caused her to wait expectantly for something to happen. Yet nothing stirred in the silent yard. Nature slept.
Then a curious thing took place. A soft breeze came out of the night and swirled around her with a sighing sound. It enveloped her with the perfume of roses—delicate, intoxicating. The garden itself was dark, but she found herself engulfed in a blue light. It was like pale moonlight, but there was no moon visible. Unexpectedly, a red rose, fresh with dew, fell into her lap. How could that be? Roses were not blooming at this time of year. Yet this was a real flower of extraordinary size and beauty. Its sweet fragrance enveloped her. She laughed softly. Who had manifested this symbol of love? She pressed the flower to her breast and waited, scarcely daring to breathe. The air became electric. She no longer felt sorry for herself or abused by the world. She felt instead a wondrous elation and gratitude.
At that moment the figure of a vibrant being of light, with great silver wings, formed before her. She must be dreaming or else hallucinating. She should return to the house.
Before she could rise from the bench, the being spoke. “I am the Archangel, Gabriel, Messenger of the Lord God. Beloved Anna, you are like a grain of wheat that has waited these many years to be planted. Now, you will be set into the rich earth and the magic seed will sprout. With your unwavering faith in God’s goodness, you have maintained an unbounded feeling of responsibility toward your fellow human beings and an unselfish stewardship of your material possessions. You have healed others without thought of reward or aggrandizement. You have learned compassion for others. God’s bounty is now yours. You no longer need to waste your energies in worry and despair. God chooses only the strong for his special missions, but, I warn you, there are still many steps for you to climb. Rejoice in the knowledge that you will be a channel for His life substance that will benefit all mankind for countless ages to come. You have made yourself a chalice of love. The bruises of your life are now healed because you have forgiven the heartlessness of others, not once but seventy times seven.”
The words came to Anna like cosmic thunder. The Archangel Gabriel paused, but Anna was so stunned she could not speak. In the silence of that sacred moment, she could only ask herself what the archangel wanted her to do.
He continued gently, as if reading her mind. “Make immaculate your thoughts, for tomorrow you will leave for Jerusalem to meet your devoted husband at the golden gate of the temple. I have already informed Joachim to join you there. Yes, he is very much alive and well. He has prayed and fasted these many months in a secret cave at Mount Horeb, and God has answered his prayers. You both have been put through a cleansing fire, so that God’s crown of love would fit your humble heads. Your life has always been one with the will of God. Now, divine creative energy will be given to you.”
He waited for Anna to speak, but the moment was too sacred for her to express words.
He continued, “Remember the Psalm of David: ‘For the Lord God is a sun and a shield: the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will be withheld from them that walk uprightly.’ You, Anna, a descendant of King David, have walked uprightly, and I rejoice with you in the blessings to come within the year. Selah!”
The archangel vanished in a gust of wind that sprang up out of the quiet night. It kissed Anna’s flushed cheeks, and its tinkling note was like a happy sigh of content.
She sat motionless, as if in a spell. The archangel had said Joachim was alive! “Thank Thee, all merciful Father!” She would soon be reunited with her husband in the Holy City. But, more than that, she sensed that some wondrous event was to take place, else why did she feel an ecstasy beyond description? Then she realized what Gabriel had told her, not in ordinary words but in metaphor: She would bear a child. What would it feel like to be treated again like a desirable member of society? When their baby came, Joachim’s suffering and shame would also end. His sacrificial offerings to God would now be accepted by the temple priests. It was late in life for her to be starting a family, but no matter. The archangel said she had walked uprightly! How bountiful was her God of Love!
She spoke to the night sky with its flickering stars, “O Lord my God, I cried unto Thee and Thou has healed me. Thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness; to the end that my glory may sing praise to Thee and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks unto Thee forever.”
She did not go to bed that momentous night. She laughed and wept and danced alone with overwhelming joy. Her mind leapt and soared to unknown heights of ecstasy and wonder as she walked, trancelike, about her garden. The flowers and shrubs gave forth an exquisite perfume in celebration of the wondrous news. God had sent his mighty messenger, Gabriel, to shower her with stardust. Her beloved Joachim would meet her at the golden gate of the temple, he said. And, after twenty years of longing, a child would be born to them.
Anna threw kisses to the sky, telling the clouds to soar to the invisible God who loved her. The impact of coming face to face with the Great and Luminous One had changed the very fabric of her being. She would never again doubt God’s goodness and mercy. “O Holy Father, my soul is yours; my life is yours.”
* * *
When the sun’s first rays entered her garden, Anna awakened Judith and Hermana, directing them to prepare for their journey to Judea. She was unable to eat, so great was her emotion, but Judith prepared for her a drink of balsam.
“I will never be the same,” she told the servants. “In the twinkling of an eye, God made me a whole woman.”
Then she remembered that someone must care for the animals in the enclosure during their absence. She had no friends here but perhaps Julian was in town. She would be forced to ask help from him, so was relieved to see his mount feeding in the adjacent pen.
He answered her knock in a quiet voice. “You are unbelievably radiant today—like the young woman I met so long ago. What happened to cause this transformation from a downcast, aging beauty?’
She ignored the question, saying, “My two servants and I must go to Jerusalem to meet Joachim. I need someone to care for our livestock.”
He let her wait for several moments before replying, and again she felt the strong physical pull of this intense man. He had changed somewhat, though. The coarseness of his features had vanished. His once-cold, green eyes now sparkled with genuine warmth.
“Of course, Anna. How long will you be gone?”
“Perhaps as much as ten days.”
“I’ll be in Sepphoris much of the time, but will make sure the animals have water and feed.”
He followed her into the street, continuing, “I’m glad you came. I wanted to tell you I haven’t had an attack of epilepsy since I began repeating the prayer you taught me.”
“You no longer have those devastating attacks?”
“You frightened them out of me.” He laughed. “I’m grateful, of course.” He took her hand. “Anna, I have a great need to be near you, to know always what you are doing. Day by day, you are gaining control of my thoughts, my actions. I told Herod of your beauty, but not your power. He wants to meet this ‘Jewess’ who has changed many of my attitudes—not without extreme measures, I might add. Will you let me take you to him one day?”
Anna shook her head vehemently. “I fear him more than the poisonous vipers of the mountains. You would have to rescue me again.” She laughed, saying in jest, “You wouldn’t want me to create that magic cloud and put him into a deep sleep on the palace floor, would you?”
“No, no! Have you no respect for the King of Judea?”
“I deplore his taxing us beyond all reason just to build a luxurious palace at Caesarea.”
“But we finally have a seaport on the Mediterranean—a blessing to Palestine.” Then he changed the subject abruptly. “Wait here a moment. I have something for you from Rome.”
He returned and handed her a large, elegantly designed porcelain vial, encrusted with rubies. Then he left her.
When Anna reached her house, she opened the vial and found it contained the essence of roses. He had selected her favorite scent. She would take it with her to Jerusalem and apply some before her reunion with Joachim.
While making travel preparations, Anna found that Julian remained in her thoughts. They had become more than adversaries, she decided. They were intent combatants on an emotional level of consciousness that she had experienced with no one else. This awareness of each other had a life of its own, yet it was separate and removed from her enduring love of Joachim. Perhaps Julian yearned for something in her to satisfy a deep soul-longing for the one God. His attitude toward her always masked a veiled, unspoken threat. She thought of it now as a challenge to her own stubborn, one-directional nature. Obviously, they had a curious need for each other. Perhaps one day, she could sort out her feelings toward him and understand them.
She occupied her mind with packing. Live doves in wicker cages, along with food and clothing, must ride on the small donkeys. She wondered why the Archangel Gabriel had not directed Joachim to come home instead of meeting her at the golden Gate in Jerusalem. And why had her husband gone to Mount Horeb instead of nearby Mount Carmel?
Anna’s desire to reach Joachim as quickly as possible decided her to take the shorter north-south route through Samaria. It was considered the more dangerous road due to a long-standing enmity between the Israelites and the Samaritans, but she had to risk lessening the travel by a full day.
They were careful not to draw attention to themselves, and slept in the fields. One night Judith asked her, “Why does Julian scheme constantly to find an excuse to see you?”
Anna considered her words well before answering. “I imagine all relationships are based on need. We gravitate toward those who balance our lives to make them whole. You help balance my life.”
They traveled as fast as possible, taking to dirt trails when near villages. By late afternoon of the second day, they came within sight of the temple complex. Herod had extended it out over surrounding valleys. Its massive walls of native stone blocks were a triumph of Roman ingenuity. While the women rested above the Kidron Valley, Anna pointed out the high temple building, set in a series of courts enhanced by gardens and pools on the highest hill, Mount Moriah.
Herod had embellished it considerably since Anna was trained there. Its three stories rose higher than before, and the new Graeco-Roman facade of polished granite and dark marble, made it, in Herod’s words, “the most beautiful building in the world.”
The travelers descended quickly into the valley. Judith and Hermana continued with the donkeys to Joachim’s house near the Pool of Siloam, while Anna raced with her basket of doves toward the golden gate.