98. Create Your Very Own Bucket List.

Write out a "bucket list," of experiences you want to do while you're in this world. List places you want to experience, things you want to do, people you want to meet. Check them off as you accomplish them.

You know what a bucket list is, right? It was popularized by the movie, The Bucket List , with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. It’s the list of things you want to do in life before you, “kick the bucket,” (that’s a rather curious metaphor for dying).

I just had to know how they got that term, and it seems that when someone got hanged, which happened a lot more when this phrase was created, they “kicked the bucket,” away from their feet, which left them hanging. Sorry, that’s macabre, but it may add to the whole emotion of this piece of advice and help you remember it. My friend Jim says that EMOTION creates memory. So, this can help you remember and actually do this.

LISTEN UP!!! Lots and lots of people say they have a bucket list, but most do NOT. What they mean to say is that they have a general idea of some of the things that they’d like to do, that they think would make them happy, but I’d say less than one in a 100 actually has a real bucket list. I’ll also admit that I don’t have one written as I’m writing this (I do have written goals, and a poster of 100 places to visit that I’ve been checking off though!), but I’m including my personal ones in the back of this book. That way, you’ll know that I’m practicing what I’m preaching, which is important, AND you’ll get a better insight to who your Daddy is.

Some ideas for a bucket list generally include: Running a marathon, seeing the Eiffel Tower in Paris, taking your children to Disney World (look at their faces when they walk in)! Don't use my list, though. Make your own and make sure they're important to you.

Here is the important thing about the bucket list as it is with goal setting in general: The list and accomplishing of these is not what’s really important.

What’s really important is what it makes of you to achieve these items.

It’s the fact that you are writing them down (the gigantic majority of people out there will never be bothered to do this), and you’re living your life in such a way as to do these things.

The more you’re able to check off of your list, the more you are doing, the more you’re developing yourself as a human being, the more proud of yourself you’ll be .

This is an important aspect of the bucket list: You’ll always have things to look forward to in life. You can pull out this physical list, look at it, and think of actually doing them and ANTICIPATE how great you’ll feel in doing them. That’s a great feeling, and it’s particularly useful when you’re having some bad days.

It’s a pretty necessary thing in life to have the feeling that your future will be greater than your past.

Another thing that I’ll say about bucket lists is try not to be flippant about them. “Climbing Everest,” may sound like a sexy item for your bucket list when you’re making it, but that is something that will cost around $100,000 or more, and take over two months to actually do after a year of rigorous training (I Googled it). So, think about what goes on the list, how it would make you feel to accomplish it, and whether or not you’d enjoy the actual process before committing to it.

Here’s a quick warning: If there are a lot of items on your bucket list just quietly sitting there for years or decades on end, gathering dust, then I think that actually hurts your confidence. It would be ironic to do a bucket list to enhance your life, make for a richer, fuller experience of your existence on Earth, and then for it to hinder you in life. It’s important to have some of the things that are easier to accomplish and take a little less time, and then there are life centerpiece type of bucket list items that take some planning and are major milestones. These are the kind of adventures that are shown on the screen in pictures at your funeral .

I’ve referred to death a few times already in this advice. I didn’t necessarily mean to do that, but it’s happening for a reason. You’ve got a limited time on this planet (at least as of the writing of this tome), and you need to get after it. The bucket list is how you truly live. It’s going after a dream. It’s the planning, and the anticipation, and the outright JOY of actually DOING it.

In short, it’s a microcosm of the good things in life. I think that many folks, including myself, take life too haphazardly. I mean, there is magic and joy to letting loose and allowing serendipity to occur, but NOT planning some of the things that will and need to happen in your life is, I think, a little irresponsible for this incredible gift of life that we’ve been given.

Actually sitting down, and taking the time to write this out is a celebration of life and all of its possibilities! It’s creating the script of your life movie. It’s taking life by the throat and drinking it down deeply.

And again, most people can’t be bothered to do something like this. But you are not most people, my sweethearts! You’ve got this book of advice, and you’re actually reading it, choosing what works for you, and trying it. I love that about you and know that you’ve got it in you to make the dreams in your beautiful head (and soul), and turn them into a reality.

I love you so dearly. I wish for you a life of fulfillment, of happiness, of joy, and love.  

Advice in Practice:

• Google, “How to Write a Bucket List.” I have some suggestions and what I’m doing with it, but you can get ideas from a lot of smart minds on the best ways to get this done. Use what works for you. Discard my advice completely if it doesn’t ring true, or if someone else has better ideas.
• Start a “Bucket List Project.” Do an OPOA for it (read the advice on an “OPOA—Outcome, Purpose, Obstacles, Actions,” if you don’t remember what an OPOA is!). Determine what the outcome is to do this exercise. Think about the adventures it can start, and the joy it can bring. Think about the stories you can tell your children and grandchildren that you did! Get it all out! Then think about why you are doing one. Get personal. You don’t have to share this with anyone. It can be a celebration of life for you, it can prove that you are capable, that you are worthy. It can be to have the feeling of living up to your potential—or anything else you desire. Then, it’s time to get to the actions of doing the list.
• Create an idea list and brainstorm where you take a little time and write out everything that comes to mind for you bucket list. If it’s even a tingling in your mind, then get it out and put it down on paper. No idea is too crazy, too big, or too small. Just write it all. I don’t know about you, but this is exciting for me. The sky and beyond is the limit! Something that really helps when doing something like this, and scripting your life, is to get in a great state while doing it. Your list will be completely different if you’re doing it while tired or depressed. So, put on music you love. Jump around a little (unless other people are watching, then jump around a LOT) and get to writing it! Get a TON of them. I’m thinking somewhere around 100 for me. Because quality is often found in quantity.
• You’re going to be instantly pulled to many of these ideas. The ones that stand out for you will sing their siren song, and you’ll just have to follow them. Circle those. Or put a star on them. Or highlight them. Make them stand out, because they will be helping you do some pretty amazing things! Treat them with respect.
• Formalize the list. After they’ve been written, I am typing mine into a real, live, breathing list, complete with checkboxes that you can actually check off when they’re done. I will be keeping mine in Evernote.
• HAVE A TIME OR A SYSTEM WHERE YOU ACTUALLY LOOK AT THIS AND ARE REMINDED OF IT! It’s a strong belief of mine that knowledge is wasted unless it’s used. So take a look at these lists. Maybe you can put it in a yearly planning session, or every quarter. Or maybe it’s at the front of your planner, laminated, and seen frequently when you’re planning your days, weeks, and months. Use this time to cultivate the list, cut what doesn’t work and maybe add some items to it, as well. Don’t neglect this, or the entire exercise will be futile.
• Talk to others about it—but only those that are supportive and encouraging. You know the right people. I know you can accomplish your dreams, but a lot of people like to gently tear you down (they’ll call it ‘being realistic’) so that they either feel better about themselves for not having done them, or to save you from heartache when you don’t accomplish them. Either way, you know those folks, too. Don’t tell them, and it may be better to spend less time with them too, by the way.

I love you so, so much. I’m excited and happy for you to do this!