From the quarterdeck of the huge ship, the Andromeda, I leaned over the rail, my fingers holding tight to the rough rolled-up weather cloth.
Funny how this felt like osnaburg.
Funny how the past was always a touch away.
William was surprised that I took up his offer. He was curious about me, but this notion was more akin to a lad with a new toy trying to figure out its workings. The prince was in dire need of distraction, and I was desperate to go away.
A perfect arrangement for us.
I’d rather be a mystery than the version of me Cells required. The story of his Dolly, weak, enslaved, terrorized, in need of a hero—only he knew the whole of it. In Demerara, he’d used my past to disqualify me from a future with him and Catharina. Now he’d use Thomas’s leaving and my birthing sadness to make old me return to him, again spinning himself into a hero.
Never could this happen, not again.
Staying on the Andromeda and being a mystery, a toy, even claiming a prince as a plaything was preferred.
“Dorothy.”
William stood behind me, warmed by the bright sun, dripping in medals and braiding. “For a woman who loves rhythm, you seem rudderless, even piqued. Is it the choppy waves or has my poor behavior caused your ire?”
The timbre of his voice sent heat to my cheeks. I thought of that awkward dance in his cabin. In front of his wall of windows, he kissed me soundly and hoped his fast and hurried seduction would lead to his bed.
Fast and hurried was never as great as it sounded, thus my retreat to the quarterdeck.
“Ready to go ashore? I can have a boat lowered.”
I caught his bloodshot gaze, his red eyes floating in the sea of rum he’d drunk.
“You sure you’re well, Prince?”
“I am, and you remain good at avoiding questions. I ask again, do I lower a boat and send you ashore?”
His face was kind, his lips parted, not tight like the sound of his words. Then I realized his voice was trained to offer orders.
“Unless you no longer want to show me the world, I’d like to stay. But you were quite drunk when you asked.”
“I made a poor show last night. I apologize. At least I didn’t break things like at Miss Polgreen’s. My men and I were reckless at her Royal Naval Hotel.”
“You got in another fight?”
“Yes, Miss Dorothy, Bridgetown, Barbados, may never be the same.”
The setting sun slid closer to the sea, glowing on his brooding form. “Not my finest hour.”
He stepped closer, leaving the shroud of dusky light. Looking up into his dark blue-black eyes, I saw questions—about us, about me, about life.
“If I was a painter . . .” His sea-salt-smelling fingers rubbed my cheek. His skin was rough, his touch gentle. “And if my hand was steadier, I’d paint you here. You’re lovely.”
His gaze drifted to my waist, the lacings of my indigo gown. My ankles showed in my short boots. Indecent, but what decent woman would be here? Whores came for an hour. Courtesans stayed a little longer. What did they call the ones who remained to go across the sea?
Fools?
Brave?
Prince William’s steady smile said he approved of my dress, but my stomach tightened. I needed to focus on something other than the obvious—him and me and running away.
“Is your arm still bothering you, sir? Perhaps you should spend less time with drunken men.”
“I intend to with proper distractions.” He chuckled. “If I entice you to stay, I won’t be destroying anything, anytime soon.”
He towed me by my laces, pulling me into his strong arms, out in the open, where anyone could see.
Not right.
Not safe for him.
Definitely not for me, on a boat full of British soldiers. They glared at me as if I’d stolen something. Their sneers said I didn’t belong.
I patted the prince’s chest, my fingers jangling the big brass buttons of his waistcoat. “You said last night you’d show me the world. Not show me to the world.”
“It’s all the same when you’re with me. The voyage to England is a long one. There’s only so far to sail before there’s a point of no return.”
“You’re testing me?”
“It’s only fair, Dorothy. You’re testing me, accepting my offer to come aboard then keeping me at a distance. Let me help you decide. I’m intrigued by you. No need to go to any special lengths to build up the anticipation of my wanting you.”
His flirty words made it seem as if it were a small thing to be here, away from my family, all my connections, my power.
Perhaps it was a small sacrifice in his eyes.
“Aren’t I here to help you pass the time as you wait for your message, Prince? Then shouldn’t I make this moment as interesting as possible? Island girls, sailors think, are mostly for a white man’s amusements. I think you’re accustomed to being amused.”
The rippling of his lips with a hearty laugh made him look so young. “Fishing for compliments of how you’re different or how you’ve captivated my mind?”
My glare should’ve voiced what I didn’t say, that most men didn’t care for anything but what they wanted. And that they’ll say pretty lies to get it.
It was up to me to believe falsehoods or not.
It didn’t matter.
I came for adventure and escaped with the man who returned for me, the white prince who was captivated by black me. William saw me as strong, a challenge. I liked that. “Sir,” I said in my sweetest voice, sugary like cane slurry, “I hear a well-placed compliment can clear up confusion and can convince me that you understand that I’m more than different.”
He took my palm in his and kissed it. His lips were warm. I’d been his dance partner. I knew that if the rhythm between us became right, it could consume us. “You are more, much more. I must admit I’ve admired many girls from many colonies. You’re the only one I wish to take across the sea. If I have to be patient to figure out your thoughts, I will. It’s the key to unlocking all your pleasures. I’m greedy. I want all.”
“Being here is my choice. I like that you are gentle and respect me.”
His eyes held a shine like his silver buttons. He could be the stars I loved, the ones I always sought from my window.
My fantasy of what this was tangled and knotted with my truth. My frets about my daughters, my mother, my son slipped in and warred with my heart. I’d left them all to be here.
Yet, in William’s sidelong look, I remember the dangers of a man wanting me and the joy of wanting them, too. “I’m escaping my life. Heading to England is the way.”
“You have means. You could hire passage. You don’t have to come away with me.”
This was true.
Leaving could be done in many ways. Every man in my life had taught me how. I put my palm flat against the prince’s waistcoat. The top button, I coveted. “But still, I’m here.”
His hands cradled my face. He tilted my chin. I peered at tall him, at the mischief filling his jet eyes. “Dorothy, you’re brave, and I’m lucky.”
His laugh sounded lush. I focused on his mouth. Maybe we should kiss again and get it right. The one in his cabin when I first came aboard his Pegasus years ago was better.
In all that time, he never forgot me. He’d searched for me by showing a poorly done sketch of him and me and that tarn hammock. “Watch the sunset with me, William.”
“As you wish.” He put his arms about me, again. His embrace was strong, murmuring of his power. Power that I was never supposed to have or even be near, not in my skin.
This escape was right.
This journey across the sea with a prince seemed right.
I trusted like the fool I was, that if this was a mistake, I’d survive it, like all my others.