The police would have to shoot me to try to save them and we would all be gone.
My life had just come to an end. Whatever time I had left was going to be used to prepare for my son’s future and then I was going to send Bob and Toni straight to hell. He was a dead man walking. She was a dead whore walking. And I was a dead warrior walking because I was going with them. I knew it was over. Everything around me felt evil. Having been a woman with morals, who valued loyalty and honour, I was crushed beyond belief. My moral code wouldn’t let me accept what had happened. My honour wouldn’t let me allow this to go unanswered and my loyalty now belonged to my Matt, and this was when I began to grieve for him properly.
I couldn’t deal with the evil that came to me and I gave myself two more months in this world to make things right for my son and to say goodbye to my loved ones. The two were going to hell and then the heavens would open up to claim their warrior queen. I knew how I was going to die. I was going to be shot by the police again but this time they would have to kill me to try to save the traitors. I was going to die with my sword in my hand, taking back my honour and the copper who shot me would be a hero. He wouldn’t hear the truth of why I was doing what was doing until I had gone, and I would have no regrets.
I now missed Matt so much and felt so guilty at the anger I had once had for him. I realised now that he had been the only true love of my life. He had never done me wrong. He was just trying to protect me from the pain I would have felt knowing he had loved others when I didn’t want him. Well, I had wanted him. I just couldn’t cope with him as a person and it was my choice to let him go.
All the good memories and love came flooding back and all I wanted now was to be with my Matt again. My true, undying love. I knew he was on the other side waiting for me and wanting me and I had never wanted anything more in my life than to be with him now. And I was going to be with him. I’d had enough of this world. People I loved had let me down. I’d never done anything to anyone who didn’t deserve it, yet all I seemed to attract were wrong ’uns. I was blessed to have a son with the same morals and value for honour and loyalty as me. It was breaking my heart to think of leaving him but he was 25 now and it was time for me to go.
I took John for lunch to a country pub in Epping, where we had a beautiful day. We took photos of each other and then I told him it was time to meet his real dad. At first he said, ‘No way,’ but I said, ‘I’ve had you for twenty-five years and it’s time for you to meet him.’ I didn’t want to leave this world without making things right. I told John he had no choice and that he was meeting him whether he liked it or not. I think he wanted to meet him but, out of loyalty to me, he felt he couldn’t. But this wasn’t about me anymore. This was about him and his future and he accepted that.
We had a three-course meal at the pub, then walked into a field nearby where a big oak tree had fallen. We climbed and played like a couple of teenagers and laughed. We just enjoyed each other’s company. How my son was the best thing in my life and I knew Jamie would be just as proud as me when he met him. I got in touch with Jamie’s sister and left her a letter for Jamie with a photo of John and his telephone number. I put in the letter that I had never asked him for anything but that, if anything ever happened to me, John would need to know his family.
Jamie phoned John in the next couple of days and they arranged to meet. I said to John beforehand that it would be just like the moment in the Harry Potter book when he got his wand. He would feel a power and he would just know he’d met his dad. I was only sorry I hadn’t done it before. But I did ask John when he was 15 if he wanted to meet his dad and he had said that he didn’t, so I didn’t push it.
Everything went well when they met. I was a bit jealous, to be honest. John didn’t drink or smoke and nor did his dad. John loved boxing and Jamie now ran a boxing club. Jamie played golf and so did John. It was amazing. How could they be so alike and not even know each other? I was glad though. John now had his whole family and I knew his best qualities came from me – his moral code, sense of loyalty and honour. I soon forgot my jealousy. They got on well and it made my day.
The next thing on my list was to get John as much money as I could before I went. He wasn’t going to worry about funeral costs or anything like that. I already had a life insurance policy for £50,000 so I went and got another £150,000 on top of that. I was hoping that would soften the blow when I was gone. I couldn’t think about the downside of losing me. I had to look at the best.
That summer I got a letter from Bob’s solicitor telling me to get out of the house within four weeks, cutting in half my planned two months in this world. I said to Bob’s dad that, if he thought I was leaving my home, he was dreaming and that he shouldn’t make any plans as his son was a dead man. He should get Bob insured. I also told him that I had a receipt from Bob so he couldn’t sell the house before he paid me back my £30,000. ‘But it’s too late for all that,’ I added. ‘I don’t want the money. I want him and Toni dead. I’m going to die as well.’
He said he couldn’t allow me to hurt his son and I told him, ‘You’ve got no choice. But don’t worry. We will all be gone – me Bob and Toni – by the end of August, so stop with the silly letters.’ It was already the beginning of August and time for me to say my goodbyes and to make amends with the people I loved.
I told John I wasn’t going to be around much longer. I didn’t go into any details at all. I just said I wasn’t well and that, when I passed, I wouldn’t be in pain anymore. He accepted it like the man he was but I could see his heart was breaking with sorrow. Even though he asked a lot of questions, I told him that was all he needed to know. How it hurt me to do this to my boy but I had to. I started telling everyone I’d only got a month to live. I told some people in the world of villains what it was all about but not everyone because I was out to commit murder. Those I let in on it could be trusted. I told them Bob and Toni had done me wrong and I was going to kill them and that the police would shoot me trying to save them. But these were villains I was telling, not family or close friends. Villains understood and they all agreed with me. I told them this was down to honour.
I had heard that one of the hard faces in the East End used to do some work for Bob’s dad and I made a meet with him. This was someone I had known nearly all of my life but I hadn’t seen for nearly 20 years. I needed to make sure he wasn’t going to get involved. I was on a mission. Bob and Toni’s time was up and they would be trying to find a way out so I got the number of the face, just in case they had gone to him for help. I introduced myself as the Gran and explained that I was at war with someone he knew and needed to find out what side of the fence he was on. He said he didn’t remember me.
When I asked him, ‘Have you got Alzheimer’s?’ he said I was mad. I said I wasn’t playing and that, if he wanted to get involved, I was game. He hung up on me. But within ten minutes he had phoned back and said, ‘You’re Janie Lee. Sorry I didn’t remember,’ and we arranged to meet at the Percy Ingle bakery in Canning Town later that day. There he bought me a cup of tea and I explained everything.
I said, ‘I need to know you won’t get involved because I’ve heard you worked for Bob’s family.’
‘Jane, you and I are family and we go way back, even if I have got Alzheimer’s, girl.’
He touched my heart with his loyalty and I thanked him but I told him it was personal and that nobody else was to get involved. ‘I’m going to kill them and die the warrior I am,’ I said. He assured me he wouldn’t get involved and I thanked him.
Things were falling into place nicely but then I had the hardest task of all. I went and told my dad I was going to die. It wasn’t easy but I had to do it. I said, ‘Don’t worry, Dad, Matt’s waiting for me.’ He went white with shock. I told him I was looking forward to it and even joked with him. ‘Now, if Mum was waiting for me, I wouldn’t go,’ I said and we both started laughing.
Then I went to see my sister Shell. I said I’d take her to the fair for the day but, when I got there, she wouldn’t go. ‘No way,’ she said. ‘Every time you ask me to go somewhere with you, something happens.’
I told her this would be the last time we would ever get to go out as I was going to die but she refused so we stayed at hers for the day instead. We had a brilliant day, chatting and drinking tea. I hadn’t told Dad or Shell the truth about why I was going to die. I just said I was ill. It was better that way.
I went to Southend after I left Shell’s, bought myself fish and chips and sat on the beach counting the stars. I was going over in my mind what I had left to do. I had given John back to his dad, made sure he would have enough money and said my goodbyes to Shell and Dad. I lay there smiling and then my phone rang.
‘Hello, Jane. It’s Frank here. I’ve heard things are going down with you and I just want to make sure I’m safe.’
I told him he was safe. ‘You were bad, Frank, but never evil so don’t worry,’ I told him. ‘But make amends with your family.’ I hung up. I didn’t want him on my mind. It had been a long time since I’d seen him and he hadn’t even entered my thoughts. Then he sent me a text that seemed threatening to me. I phoned him back. ‘Go to the army and get their best if you think it scares me,’ I said. ‘I’m sitting on Southend beach counting the stars and now my head is banging. Do him. Don’t do him. Decisions. Decisions. Now, fuck off,’ and I hung up again. Within five minutes I was surrounded by armed police. Frank, I immediately thought.
One of the cops shouted, ‘Jane Lee, get up.’
I jumped up and said, ‘You’ve got me,’ and pulled out a gram of puff from my pocket.’
I was kept in a cell all night and they charged me with possession. I was told to appear at Southend magistrates court on 25 August, signed the bail paperwork and got out. I knew I wasn’t going to turn up at court. I was on a mission and I didn’t have time for all this shit. They kept my car in Southend after I was released. So Frank had just made the last few weeks of my life a lot harder. I phoned him as soon as I walked free that morning.
‘You’re fucking top of my list now,’ I said.
He denied calling the police but he was the only one in this world who knew I was on Southend beach. Now Bob and Toni would have company because the two had become three.
It seemed mad, planning my own death. But it felt right. It felt right to know I wasn’t going out of this world alone and that someone was waiting for me. He would have waited through all eternity if that was what was needed but I was ready now. I wanted to be with Matt more each day. ‘I’m coming, Matt,’ I’d say and I could sense him waiting for me and loving me with a passion. I thought about him every second of the day and I had to make right what had happened. I had just left after his funeral and I didn’t really know anything about his death. It was time to sort that out.
Matt and Ken, the man who shot him, had been like brothers. They had fallen out over money and, in a mad moment, something had gone wrong and now Matt was dead and I thought Ken was going to be facing a murder charge. I believed Matt wouldn’t have wanted that so I decided I was going to take the blame for Matt’s death. I would go and see Ken and tell him that I’d say I shot Matt, and give him back his life. I was going to die anyway so it was nothing to me – and Ken would be free. I knew that’s what Matt would have wanted. I also had to get Matt’s ashes, as I knew his wish was for them to be scattered onto a race track because of his love of cars. Phoebe was keeping them in her wardrobe. I went to her place in Kent to sort that out too.
Baby Matt was now a young child of four. He was walking and talking and my heart broke. He was Matt in every way. I loved this boy. There was an attachment that was so strong and, when I sat down and spoke to him, he told me how a big man visited him and played with him at night. I told him that was his dad and the tears rolled down my face. He told me he knew the man was his dad and not to cry. He said Matt was OK and that he was teaching him how to play football. I could feel Matt’s presence and what this young boy was telling me was reassuring. It was so emotional. Out of a child’s mouth come no lies. He was only one when Matt had died. His mum was freaked out by her son speaking to Matt and she told me she had known about it for a long time. It scared her because it had to be Matt’s ghost. It was weird but that is what little Matt said and his mum said it was true.
I had come to get Matt’s ashes as well as see them both and say my goodbyes. I explained that I was going to die and I had to fulfil Matt’s wishes that his ashes were scattered on a race track. I also told her that, when I died, I wanted my ashes to be scattered with Matt’s. I said John could throw mine from one side of the car onto the track and little Matt could throw his dad’s from the other. Phoebe asked how long I had left and I told her three weeks. She couldn’t believe it. I didn’t tell her how I was going to die. I just made her think I was ill. It was too much for her to understand.
I told her I needed to see Sharon and she drove me to the gypsy site where she lived with her husband Clint. Sharon, the gypsy queen, had always been there for me when I needed her and I needed her now more than ever. Sharon was the one person in this world to grant my wishes, as I needed my funeral to be prepared. Time was running out. Oh, how I loved my gypsy queen. What would I have done without her? Those friends of mine I called the gypsy queen and king were of a rare breed. Their friendship was unconditional. No matter what I’d done or would have to do, these people were behind me a hundred per cent with a love that broke all the boundaries. I worshipped the ground they walked on and loved them with all my heart. It was so good to see them again. I immediately told them I only had three weeks to live and not to worry.
‘Matt is waiting for me,’ I said but they cried. I had expected it but I didn’t realise how much it would affect the people who loved and cared about me. I had to put their minds at rest. I told them I was ready and that I was even looking forward to it. They wanted to know why I was dying but I just said, ‘Don’t worry, it’s not catching and I won’t be in pain anymore.’ That was all I could tell them and I asked them to be strong. I told them I needed to see Ken and that I needed them to arrange my funeral. They didn’t understand but I told them I was the happiest I’d been since Matt had died. ‘I’m now at peace so please don’t make this any harder than it is,’ I said. ‘I’ve got three weeks and I want it to be perfect, not sad.’
‘You’re not going to see Ken. He killed Matt,’ Sharon said, concern written all over her face.
‘I know,’ I said. ‘But I need to know what went on.’ I didn’t tell them I was planning to take the blame for Matt’s death. But something didn’t feel right. They had a hatred for Ken in their eyes that didn’t match the intensity of my own feeling. Clint said he would only tell me where Ken was if he could come with me. ‘No,’ I said. ‘I need you to drop me off. I have to see him alone. Listen – and listen good. This is not about you being worried and protective over me. I need to see him and I’m going alone. Don’t forget that I’m the Gran and Ken’s the one who’s hurting.’ I persuaded them that there was nothing to worry about. Clint drove me to Ken’s yard and then, reluctantly, drove away.
I knew something wasn’t right as soon as I hit the yard. The feeling of sadness was no longer inside me. It had been replaced with a sensation that something here was very wrong. I must have known in my subconscious that things weren’t right, as I was in full combat gear. I’d never met Ken. I’d only spoken to him on the phone. Matt had often phoned Ken for advice. They were best friends and, when me and Matt argued, he would always phone Ken for backup. Ken would always make Matt right and me wrong. Now I was to come face to face with him. I didn’t like what I felt as I met him at the garage itself. I had come down here to meet this man as Jane but the Gran had already taken over.
He said, ‘Can I help you?’
I said, ‘Yes. I’m the Gran and we need to talk.’ He took me into his office and I could see the fear and panic in his eyes. I told him to make me a cup of tea and explain what went on between him and Matt. ‘I’m not going to be around very long and what you say now, Ken, will decide your destiny,’ I told him, keeping my eyes on his. He started stuttering. I was calm and listened to what he had to say and he let down his guard. It was the biggest mistake of his life. He said Matt had deserved what he got. He started to act flash. It felt like he thought he was somebody special because he had killed Matt. I hated him for it.
‘I came here knowing I’m going to kill three people, Ken,’ I told him in an icy voice. ‘Then I’m going to die myself. Now I’m going to kill four people because you have just gone to the top of my list.’ He didn’t say a word.
One of his mates, also a friend of Matt’s, was in the yard. He drove me back to the gypsy site and, on the way, he told me what had happened the night Matt died. Ken had shot Matt in self-defence. I said I didn’t like the way Ken had talked about Matt and that he had got a reputation out of his death. I said all he had left was time, the same as the rest.
There was relief all around back at the site that I hadn’t got into it with Ken. I put their minds at rest and I just told them that Ken was no friend of mine. They didn’t know I had gone there to take the murder charge from him and had come back with another murder on my to-do list because of the way he had talked about Matt. Now there were four people who were going to hell before I went to heaven to be with my Matt.
I felt good. Now I knew what I was going to do. I had given Ken the chance to feel remorse but he had blown it and now I would regain Matt’s honour and take down the man who had blown him away. A man he loved and trusted. I also found out that Ken had already faced a charge of murder over Matt’s death and had been cleared. So my plan to take the blame for Ken would never have gone anywhere. He had walked free after being tried at Maidstone crown court in March, 2009 and I had just never got to hear about it. He admitted accidentally shooting Matt after Matt phoned him demanding money he claimed he was owed. The court had heard how Ken was worried that Matt was going to turn up so he armed himself with a legally owned shotgun just in case. When Matt did turn up and confronted Ken, the gun went off by accident, the court was told, and Ken was acquitted of murder. But I was judge, jury and executioner now.
I went to see Matt’s other woman, Tracey. I hadn’t seen her since the funeral and I said my goodbyes to her too. I had to get Matt’s ashes from Phoebe as well so Sharon and I went back to her house. When we got there, she looked worried. I asked for the ashes and she started to cry and told me she no longer had them. She had buried them in the cemetery and had placed a plaque on the ground. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I told her Matt’s wishes were that they were scattered on a race track.
‘Why didn’t you tell me before that you had already buried him?’ I asked. She said she had been too scared to keep him at her place because young Matt was talking to his ghost. I understood what she meant. She was young, she didn’t really know Matt and she was thinking about what was best for her baby. I told her we had to fulfil Matt’s wishes and that we would get him back. She asked how and I told her we were going to dig him back up. She nearly passed out. I could see the fear in her eyes. She was crying and saying she couldn’t do it.
‘This is what Matt wanted,’ I told her. ‘This was his wish and, if you loved him, you would do it for him. He would hate to be buried in a cemetery.’
She agreed and I said we would go to the cemetery at midnight. I could see she was scared that someone might see us. ‘Don’t worry. I’ve got a plan. We will wear white sheets and, if anyone sees us, they’ll just think we’re ghosts and take no notice,’ I said. I was trying to make her laugh and lighten the situation. It made Sharon amd I laugh and it did make her smile a bit – but not much.
The cemetery was pitch black that night. I lifted off the plaque and removed the earth underneath it. Phoebe said she hadn’t put Matt’s ashes in an urn but just poured them into the soil so I don’t know if what I took was Matt but I had done my best. I put him in a 17th-century Minton china dish, ready to take him home and fulfil his wishes. I carefully replaced the plaque so nobody would know what we had done.
I had to return home then to sort out a few more things, as time was running out. I told the gypsies I’d be back, as I still needed them to arrange my funeral. I had explained what I wanted and left Sharon to prepare it. I knew she would make me proud.
It felt so good to have Matt back with me, although you might think I was mad, and, when I went to bed that night, I put the dish in the bed next to me and took off the lid, and I felt Matt come to me. I felt a connection like I told my John he would feel when he met his dad. Harry Potter getting his wand was just a fairy tale but Matt coming back to me was so real that I felt his presence with me. That night Matt and I became one. Matt was with me, protecting me and loving me. I felt so at peace wrapped up in his presence. Oh, how I had needed him and now I had him and we were soon to be together for all eternity. As I drifted off to sleep, I felt like I was wrapped in his arms again.
The next day I booked a photo shoot for John and me so that he would have some nice photos to remind him of me. We got all dressed up and the photos were beautiful. We had 45 pictures done all together and they were very professional. It was another lovely day I spent with my son and he now had a collection of the most beautiful photos of us together.
I knew that the police were getting worried because I’d heard that people were telling them what I was plotting but I didn’t care anymore. I had a policeman come to my home saying he was doing a survey. A likely story! I mean, have you ever heard of that happening? I just welcomed him in and answered his questions. He gave himself away by what he said but I was just polite and played his game. I got the impression he was trying to find out what sort of mental state I was in.
I listened to the radio station Kiss every day, as I had done for the last ten years. But now I noticed they were asking every day for people to come forward if they knew anything about a murder that was about to be committed. It seemed mad that, all of a sudden, they were airing this. It was some sort of police appeal. But again, I just ignored it. It was time to plan how I was going to carry out the killings. I was going to do them all on the same day. One was to happen in Kent, one in the East End and the other two in Essex. I was going to do Ken first and I was going as the Gran in full combat. Then I’d go straight to the East End and do Frank.
I bought a burqa, the Muslim clothing worn by women to cover themselves from head to toe. I would wear it after I had done Ken because I would blend in perfectly in the East End, which was full of Muslims. I would just fit in and nobody would recognise me. All that would show would be my two eyes. Then I would go on to do Bob and Toni.
I bought a wig, contact lenses and a businesswoman’s suit to disguise myself. I looked totally different in that get-up. I was going to get close to Bob and Toni’s flat without being recognised, then I was going to stab them both through the heart, just as they had done to me. Toni lived on the ground floor and you could look out to the road from her front window. I was going to tie them to chairs, barricade us in and then phone the police. I would open the curtains and wait for the law to come. And when they did, I planned to stab both Bob and Toni. The police would have to shoot me to try and save them and we would all be gone.
I’d got everything I needed and I’d planned it all. But time was running out. The date of 25 August, my court appearance, came and went but I didn’t attend. I got a letter from Essex police telling me to hand myself into a police station. It said I had broken the terms of my bail by not appearing. It was time to leave my house and get out of Essex. I couldn’t risk getting nicked so I left for Kent and the gypsies. On the way I went to see my son. I knew I was never coming home again. By the end of the month I’d be dead and so would the others. I’d done everything I could to make John’s life easier and it was time to go. I grabbed hold of him and, as the tears filled both our eyes, he said, ‘Goodbye,’ to me. It was the saddest thing I’d ever had to do, waving my boy goodbye and knowing I would never see him again. It broke my heart.
The gypsy queen had done me proud and my funeral had been planned to perfection. My coffin was to be carried from the house in Essex I had shared with Bob to my son’s home. Then it would be put into a car and driven to my dad’s house in Silvertown, where it would be transferred to a horse-drawn carriage to make the final leg of the journey to the East London cemetery in Plaistow where I would be cremated. All the flowers had been arranged. I’d picked them all. I was to have two swords, two guns and a framed photo of me and Matt placed on my coffin. Oh, it would be beautiful!
I went to say my goodbyes to young Matt and Phoebe. Little Matt didn’t want me to go but I had to. I waited for them to fall asleep and I kissed them both goodbye as they slept.
At 6am on 30 August I put all my disguises in Phoebe’s car, along with my sword and a combat knife. The blades were razor sharp. I got to Ken’s place in Chilham at about 7am but his garage was shut so I went into a cemetery nearby and read the memorials while I waited. Around 9am I turned my phone on to check for any last messages. I immediately heard interference, followed by the sound of an approaching helicopter. I turned the phone off. It had to be the cops. I knew they were on to me but I didn’t care. It looked like they had only sent the helicopter so I stuck to my plan. I could still get Ken, I thought. His garage was on a main road and there wasn’t anywhere to park so I planned to use the train station’s car park next door. But no sooner had I driven into the car park than loads of police appeared behind me.
‘Stop, armed police!’ they shouted. I looked round and they were pointing their guns at me. ‘Get out of the car. Get out of the car with your hands up.’
I stuck the car into reverse, took off around the police car trying to block me off and out of the station. The chase was on. I was going as fast as I could but I was not familiar with the lanes in Kent and it was not long before I lost control of the car and smashed into a tree. I was unhurt but I couldn’t believe what had happened. I was surrounded by police. It had all gone wrong. Matt was waiting for me. But there was no way out of this now, even though I just wanted to be with him.
An officer with a gun approached the front of the car. I grabbed the combat knife, jumped from the car and went for him. ‘Shoot me, shoot me!’ I screamed like a mad woman as I ran at him brandishing the blade. I wouldn’t have hurt him. I don’t hurt the innocent. I was just trying to provoke him but then I felt a massive impact from behind. It was like an electric shock. I was losing balance now.
‘Shoot me!’ I screamed again, still waving the knife but staggering. I just wanted to get with Matt. I was still standing when I felt a second massive hammering sensation in my back. I was lurching like a drunkard, trying to see what had hit me. I was weak now, almost falling but still pleading, ‘Shoot me, please shoot…’ Then a third hammer blow battered my body. It was like being hit by a lightning strike. That third one did me and I finally slumped and sank to the ground. I was down and I couldn’t move. ‘Why don’t you shoot me?’ I asked as they stood over me with their guns. ‘Matt’s waiting for me and you have ruined everything. What are those stupid things you done me with?’
‘Tasers,’ one of the officers replied. And he added, ‘Jane, it’s been ten years since we shot you. Why have you still got the hump with us?’
‘I haven’t got the hump with yous,’ I said. They got me up and cuffed me. ‘I’m here to do Ken. He killed Matt. My problem’s not with yous.’
I was arrested and taken to Folkstone police station, where I was charged with carrying two offensive weapons, aggravated car theft and affray with the police. I later pleaded guilty to all charges and was sentenced to 18 months at Canterbury crown court. Thanks to my solicitor, Donald Worsley, who was the best in the land in my book as he went that extra mile for me.
I’m glad now that I didn’t kill anyone and I’m glad I’m still alive. I believe in my heart and soul that I regained my honour and Matt’s honour. It turned out that Ken and his wife had received police protection after he told them what I’d said on my previous little visit. The police had already received tip-offs that I was after Ken. And he ended up needing protection from a woman. I ask you, does it say a lot for him? The police put him into a safe house that morning and he could hardly say he was the man people thought he was.
Then there was Frank. He had me taken off the beach by armed police. I feel he showed me what he was really like.
And, finally, there was Toni and Bob. What could I say about them? To be quite honest, her and Bob deserve one another. She still lives in her flat with her man though so who knows what they are doing now – and who cares? And as for Bob, he turned out to be the biggest letdown of all.
I served just over half of my 18-month sentence at Bronzefield prison in Middlesex and became a free woman again on 14 June 2011. I am now out on licence. The conditions stipulate that I stay away from Ken, Frank, Toni and Bob. If I breach them, I will be back in jail. But I’ve done enough jail time to last me a lifetime and I don’t want to go back.
I’m home now and I’m going to be a grandmother, as my son is having a baby with his girlfriend. Life goes on. Matt didn’t take me that day because it wasn’t my time and he can now rest in peace.