ANNIE STARED ACROSS the table at Gabe, sipping at her wine as she listened to him tell a funny story about his first time in a helicopter. It involved six corn dogs and a county fair and an eight-year-old who’d saved his birthday and Christmas money to buy the ride.
Nellie and Lisa sat on the other side of the table, the remains of a steak dinner spread out on the checkered tablecloth. They’d finished two bottles of wine and were halfway through the third when Lisa stood, holding her glass of water out to the others.
“I’d like to make a toast,” she said, swinging her arm around until her water dumped out on Gabe’s lap. “Yes, it’s water, but hey, I’m pregnant.”
Annie, Gabe and Nellie held up their glasses and cheered. “To water,” Gabe said.
“To babies,” Annie added.
“And to my beautiful wife, who is blooming like the rose she has always been,” Nellie finished. “I love you, darlin’.”
“All right, all right,” Gabe said, picking up the bottle of sparkling water. He graciously refilled her glass. “Carry on.”
“To my friend Annie and her friend Gabe. May the two of you discover that love is all you need.” She began to sing the refrain from the Beatles song as she danced around over to Annie and wrapped her arms around her neck.
“I think it’s time for Lisa to go to bed,” Nellie said. “We’ve got a busy day tomorrow, and we don’t want Mommy to have the flu while we’re touring the Air and Space Museum.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to come along with us?” Lisa asked.
Annie gave her a kiss on the cheek. “We need to work on the boat tomorrow. I have Gabe for a whole day. I need to make good use of him.”
Lisa giggled. “Oh, I can think of much better things to do with him than making him work on that boat.”
“Take her to bed,” Gabe ordered.
Nellie got up from the table and scooped his wife into his arms. “Come on, darlin’. We’ve got a bed full of children waiting for us.”
“Don’t forget the dog. Oh, you don’t mind watching him tomorrow? He’s really good. He hardly ever poops in the house. I’m talking about the dog, not Nellie.”
“No problem,” Annie said with a laugh.
They listened as Nellie stumbled up the stairs. Gabe got out of his chair and circled the table. He turned her chair around, then pulled her to her feet, dragging her into his arms. “Hello,” he murmured.
“Hi,” Annie said.
“I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve been here all night long.”
“You know what I mean,” Gabe said. “I’m used to touching you whenever I want to.”
“I know. It’s a little strange with Nellie and Lisa. I don’t want them to think we’re a couple.”
“No, we wouldn’t want them to think that. So, what exactly are we? We can’t be lovers because we don’t love each other.”
“I don’t think the term lovers really excludes people who aren’t in love. But I think friends with benefits is probably a better way to think of us. We are friends and we do enjoy some extra benefits.”
“You wouldn’t happen to have a list of those benefits, would you? Just so we can be clear.”
Annie wriggled in his embrace, pressing her hips against his. “I don’t have a written list, but I could show you.” She grabbed his hand and led him to the back door.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s a little crowded in the house,” she said. “I’ve got a place we can go.” He followed her out into the darkness, and Annie led him to the water. The Honeymoon sat at anchor, just off the shore, the mast gleaming in the moonlight.
“You want to go out there?”
Annie nodded. “It’s private. No one will hear us. We can get naked and look at the stars.” She started to unbutton her dress, and Gabe reached out to stop her.
“We’re not going to swim out there. I’ll go get the dinghy.”
“No, it’s not that far,” Annie insisted.
“Sweetheart, that water is cold. And there are parts of me that have been hot for you since the moment I got home. And when those two things collide, it’s not going to be a pretty sight.”
Annie felt a warm blush rise on her cheeks. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t think of that.” She waved her hand. “We’ll take the dinghy.”
They found it resting on the shore a few yards away. Gabe flipped it upright and grabbed the oars, then pushed it out into the calm water of the bay. Gabe had found the little fiberglass boat in one of the sheds and cleaned it up, then christened it Honey Bee. He’d painted the name on the stern with a little illustration of a bee before presenting it to her the previous weekend.
Annie dragged her hand through the water as they glided out to the Honeymoon. The soft splash of the oars in the water slowed as they approached, and she reached out to catch the gunwale on the boat before standing up and tying the dinghy to a cleat.
She crawled onto the deck, then jumped down into the cockpit, turning around to look at the moon as it dipped close to the horizon. She’d learned to sail from her grandfather when she was just five, and Annie sometimes felt more comfortable on a sailboat than she did on dry land.
“My grandfather used to ferry boats from the East Coast down to the Caribbean every summer. At least two or three trips. He used to take me along with him, just the two of us, and we’d motor down the Intercoastal Waterway. Almost a thousand miles from the Chesapeake to just north of Miami.” She reached out and ran her hand along the boom, then ducked under it and sat on the opposite side of the cockpit. “We’d do about fifty or sixty miles a day, just motoring along. And when we got to Miami, we’d step the mast and sail into blue water. I learned everything from him.”
“Is he still alive?” Gabe asked.
Annie nodded. “He lives down in Key West. He runs a boat refurbishing business. He’s eighty-four and still goes out sailing almost every day. I’m going to visit him when I do my trip.”
Gabe threw his arms over the boom and watched her from the other side, the moon casting his handsome face in light and shadows. “He sounds like a great guy. I’d love to meet him.”
“Oh, he’d like you. He loves talking about the military. He’s a real history buff.”
“You said he was in the Navy. Did your other grandfather serve?” Gabe asked.
“No, he wanted to. But he’s partially blind in one eye. He had an accident when he was a child.” She tucked her legs under her. “What about you? Did either of your grandfathers serve?”
“My mom’s dad was a bomber pilot during World War II,” he said. “We used to go to the airport together and watch the planes come in and out. He was there when I took my first helicopter ride. And he gave me money for flying lessons when I was in high school. He died the year after I graduated from Annapolis.”
A long silence grew between them, and Annie listened to the gentle lap of water against the hull of the sailboat. In just a few months, this boat would be her home. She’d probably sit in this very spot on a starry night. And remember being here with him. It wouldn’t just be the conversation she’d remember. Tonight, they’d share much more.
“Sometimes I feel like I barely know you,” she murmured. “And then other times, it feels like we’ve known each other forever. How can that be?”
He bent down beneath the boom and joined her, stretching out on the bench seat, his arm draped across the back. “I don’t know,” Gabe said. He reached for her hair and took a strand between his fingertips. “How am I going to get along without you?”
Annie laughed. “I’m the one who’s going to be all alone.”
“I wish you didn’t have to be,” he said.
“That’s the point, though, isn’t it? It’s like my quest. I’m walking into the wilderness to search for answers.”
“What kind of answers do you need? Maybe I can save you some time and give them to you.”
Annie reached over and smoothed her palm against his chest. “I need to figure out my future. I expected to spend it with a husband and a family, and now I’m alone. I need a career, a way to pay the bills.”
“You know I’m happy to help with that even though I know you don’t need my help,” Gabe offered.
“Ah, now you’re starting to get the idea,” she teased. “It sure has taken you enough time.”
Gabe laughed. “Yes, it has. But it’s not just about money. Whatever you need, I want you to know that I’m here.” He bent close and brushed a kiss across her lips. “What do you need, Annie? Tell me.”
A smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. “Stand up. And take your shirt off.”
Gabe’s eyebrow arched, his expression of bemusement very clear in the light reflected off the water. “Really? We’re going to go there?”
“Isn’t that why we came out here?”
With a reluctant groan, Gabe grabbed the bottom of his T-shirt and dragged it over his head, exposing a chiseled chest that looked like carved marble in the moonlight. “Better?” he asked.
“Not quite.” She pointed to his zipper. “Now the pants. And take your shoes off first.”
This brought another chuckle. “Bossy, bossy.”
Annie sat back and watched as he stripped off the last of his clothes and tossed them aside. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever seen, his body lean and finely muscled, his skin tan and smooth. She clutched her fingers into a fist, resisting the impulse to touch him. Gabe had taught her that the best things in the bedroom were worth waiting for.
“Now turn around, slowly.” Usually, Gabe was the one who took control, but for some reason he was letting Annie have the pleasure. When he finally faced her again, his shaft was nearly erect. She reached out and wrapped her fingers around him, gently, drawing him closer.
Her lips found the tip, and she took him into her mouth. He was hot and hard, yet his skin was as soft as silk. Annie took him as deep as she could, then slowly retreated, leaving a damp trail from her tongue and lips. Slowly, she set up a rhythm, her hand wrapped around the base of his shaft and her lips at the tip.
Over their previous nights together, Annie had learned what pleased him. Sometimes rough, sometimes gentle, she carried him toward his release, but then at the last moment drew him away. They edged closer each time. And with his retreat, he grew harder and more desperate.
Gabe furrowed his fingers through her hair, brushing a strand aside so he could watch what she was doing. Annie felt powerful, pleasuring him in this way. But she knew he wouldn’t be satisfied unless they finished with him buried deep inside her.
When she knew he couldn’t take anymore, she stood and slowly began to remove her clothes. She took her time, teasing him with each piece of skin exposed, smoothing her hands over her body and creating a delicious friction that brought goose bumps in the cool night air.
This was what it would be like every night if they were together. She could imagine the warm nights sailing through the Caribbean, the scent of exotic flowers in the air, songbirds calling from thickets of palm trees and scrub pine.
They’d anchor the boat on a sandbar off some deserted cay. Like children, they’d play in the water, their naked skin burnished dark by the sun. Every day would be an adventure, something new to explore, something important to learn about each other.
As he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, Annie wanted to stop him and say come with me. She simply couldn’t imagine going a month, much less six, without this passion in her life. Three simple words. An invitation to continue what they’d begun on land. But Annie knew that the meaning of her trip would change the moment he stepped on board.
Was she falling in love with him? She’d been asking herself that very question over and over again and she still hadn’t come up with a suitable answer.
She’d been so young the first time that she barely remembered what it felt like. It was so simple back then, just two kids who couldn’t keep their hands off each other. But she was a grown woman now with a life of her own and choices to be made. Love was no longer just a simple choice, yes or no, black or white.
As his lips came down on hers and his tongue found hers, Annie pushed her worries aside. There was still time, she thought, as his fingers slipped between her legs. Plenty of time to figure it all out.
* * *
EVERY NERVE IN his body was on fire, and Gabe felt as if he were about to burst into flames. Every place she touched was left burning, like a brand on his body. She’d brought him to an extraordinary state, his shaft hard and aching for release, his body ready to follow.
Now her hand took over the task, fingers wrapped gently around his erection as she stroked in a purposeful rhythm. He watched her, still amazed that all his fantasies had come to life. How many times had he thought about this, then scolded himself for a silent betrayal of his best friend.
Yet he couldn’t feel guilty now. In his mind, she’d always been his. They were meant to be together. Destiny had finally taken hold of their lives and brought them together. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, so many promises he wanted to make. But she wasn’t ready.
Gabe sat on the bench seat in the cockpit, pulling her down with him. She straddled his thighs, her bent knees pressed up against his hips. Gabe slid lower, until his shaft found the damp spot between her legs. Then, reaching up, he pulled her mouth down to meet his.
Kissing Annie was always an adventure in seduction. It wasn’t just a simple meeting of lips and tongues, a prelude to something more tantalizing. Kissing was the way they communicated as they made love, a silent language that conveyed every want and need in very explicit terms.
She moved above him, shifting her body against his erection until he was halfway inside her. Gabe groaned softly. This battle for control always made for a deeper passion between them, but tonight, he didn’t want to fight. He was happy to let her make all the moves. He wanted to sit back and enjoy.
Gabe smiled as she began to rock above him, leaning forward with each slow, delicious withdrawal. He felt every different sensation—the faint breeze on his damp skin, the tug of her fingers in his hair and the warmth of her lips on his.
He was completely captivated by this woman, and there was nothing he could do to stop himself. Hell, why would he want to stop himself?
Wrapping his hands around her waist, Gabe slowed her pace, determined to maintain control for as long as possible. But Annie was already swept up in the drive toward her release, taking him along with her. “Slow down,” he whispered.
“No,” she replied.
Gabe chuckled softly. “That’s what I love about you. You know exactly what you want and go after it.”
Annie stared down at him, a wicked smile on her face. “And what do I want?” She pushed up on her knees and suddenly he was no longer inside her. “Do I want to torment you?”
“Yes,” Gabe said, pulling her back down until he was buried in her warmth. “I think about this all the time. I’ll be in the middle of calibrating a sensor and an image of you will flash in my mind. And I’ll have to start all over again. You’re a dangerous woman.”
“And I was just thinking that you were the dangerous one,” Annie said.
She rose up above him, leaving his heat exposed to the cool night air. Gabe waited for her to come down again, anticipating the incredible sensation of burying himself deep inside her. He watched her for a long moment, then slipped his hands around her hips and pulled her back down. A moment later, he was inside her again, her backside pressed against his belly.
Gabe reached around to touch her. Many times they took turns reaching their release. But those moments when they came together were powerful and intense. Tonight, she wanted to feel that, the heat and the spasms, the complete surrender of her body to his touch.
And when it finally happened, when she cried out his name and dissolved into shudders of pleasure, Gabe realized how perfect they were together. He’d never experienced this kind of intimacy with any other woman. She’d invaded his soul and captured his heart, controlled his body and muddled his mind, and yet he was willing to give her even more. Whatever he possessed was hers for the asking.
Knees weak, he pulled her down to sit on his lap, her body still open to his touch. “It feels different out here,” he said. “It’s just us. Completely alone together.”
She curled up, snuggling against him. “Just think of the tan you could get. Or no tan lines.”
“I can think of other advantages.”
“Like what?”
He stood, scooping her up with him. “Like we can go for a swim without having to take the time to undress.”
“Oh, no,” she said, wriggling in his arms. “No, no, no!”
“You were all ready to swim earlier.”
“It was just an excuse to get you naked,” she cried.
He set her on her feet, then stepped up to the deck. He maneuvered over the lifelines, then stood, poised to dive into the dark water. “Come on. It’ll feel great.”
“You jump first,” she said. “I know you. You’ll push me in and then laugh at me from the deck.”
Gabe held out his hand. “No, we jump together. Come on, Annie. Trust me.”
Finally, she shook her head and relented. She crawled up beside him, clutching his hand. “It’s going to be colder now that we’re all hot and sweaty.”
“It’s going to feel great.”
He counted down, and when he shouted “Jump,” they both leaped off the side. Annie was right. The water was cold, but only at first. As they came back to the surface, still holding hands, he grabbed her around the waist, kicking his legs to keep her afloat.
They played in the water until they were both exhausted and could barely manage another stroke. It was a refreshing end to a long, hot day, and as Gabe helped Annie up the swim ladder on the stern of the boat, he thought about the trip she was planning to take.
She’d be all alone the entire way, vulnerable to the weather and shipping lanes and pirates that prowled the waters off Mexico and Central America. It could prove to be a difficult trip to complete, and just as difficult for the one left behind—him.
Gabe found a blanket in the locker beneath the cockpit seat and wrapped it around her naked body. Then, pulling her into his arms, he rubbed her back until his blood began to warm again.
“Promise me, if you decide to swim on your trip, you’ll tie yourself to the boat. And wear a life jacket.”
She glanced over at him. “What? Why?”
“If you’re out in the middle of nowhere and the boat drifts away, what are you going to do?”
“Swim over to wherever it drifted.”
“What if you get a cramp? Or get stung by a jellyfish? Or surrounded by sharks?”
Annie laughed. “You’re kidding, right?”
“I’m not. You’re going to need to think about these things. Every action you take has a multitude of consequences, and some of them are very bad and could get you killed.”
“I know that. And I’ll be careful, I promise.”
“And whenever you’re on deck or in the cockpit, you need to wear your safety harness. One slip and you could end up in the water, waving at your boat as it sails away without you.”
She gave him a playful salute. “Yes, sir. Aye-aye, sir.”
Gabe grabbed her hand and pulled it down. “I’m not kidding, Annie. I don’t think you realize how hard this is going to be for me. I’m going to be left to imagine all sorts of horrible things. I need to know that you won’t take any risks.”
“All right.” She held up her hand. “I swear that I will always practice the highest safety standards while sailing the Honeymoon.” She paused. “You’re still not satisfied.”
“Something could go wrong out there and I’d never know. You could fall off the boat and be floating in open water, and no one would be there to save you.”
“You need to stop worrying so much. You’re going to have to chill or you’ll go crazy.”
“Chill. Do you have any idea how I feel about you? I’ve waited for years to know you, to be able to touch you and kiss you. And when I think about losing you, it gets me just a little crazy.”
“And there you have it,” Annie said. “Now maybe you can understand how I felt on the day Erik left for another deployment. That hopeless knowledge that no matter how much I cared, how much I prayed, it wouldn’t make any difference. Fate will always have its way.”
“This is not the same,” Gabe said. “You have a choice. To go or not to go. I don’t have a choice. It’s my job.”
“But it’s the same feeling,” she said. “And where would it stop? I could walk out the door and get hit by a bus. Would you chain me up in the bedroom and never let me venture out in the world again?”
“Honestly? That doesn’t sound like such a bad idea,” Gabe murmured.
“I’m leaving at the end of August. A lot of things can change between now and then, but my mind isn’t one of them. I’m going. That’s it. End of discussion.”
“And some things will never change,” Gabe said.
He couldn’t imagine a day when he didn’t love her anymore or when he wasn’t concerned about her safety. But he knew if he pushed too hard, Annie would resist. She might even just push him out of her life entirely.
Was he wrong? Was he holding on too tightly? Every instinct told him to let her go, to give her the freedom to follow her own dreams. He’d done that once before, and she’d married Erik.
Annie held the blanket open, inviting him into the warmth. Gabe slipped his arms around her waist and picked her up, pressing his lips into the curve of her neck. “You have to let me worry,” he said.
“And you have to let me go,” Annie countered.
For now, he’d let it go. Though he’d never truly been in love before, he knew a few things from listening to Nellie and other married friends. Sometimes it was better to retreat and take up the battle at another time.
He had two more months left to make her fall so madly in love with him that she wouldn’t want to leave. Two months to convince her that loving a Marine pilot wasn’t the end of the world. Two months to decide what changes he was willing to make in his own life to compromise with her dreams.
Two more months to finally realize that this wasn’t about his own selfish needs. It was about Annie and what she wanted out of life. It might take more strength than he possessed, but there was no other way. From now on, he wouldn’t fight her. He’d encourage her.
“Look at those stars,” Annie said. “Can you imagine what it used to be like, hundreds of years ago, when all a sailor had was the stars to help him navigate? Columbus discovered America.”
“I wouldn’t give a whole lot of credit to the stars,” Gabe said. “Columbus ran into America. As long as he was sailing west, he couldn’t miss it.”
Annie giggled. “I guess you’re right. My trip will be the same way. I’ll just keep turning right until I get to San Diego. It will be so simple.”
He drew her close and kissed the top of her head. “I suppose I can take some solace in that fact. Just as long as you don’t steer yourself into a hurricane.”
“I promise that if there is a hurricane on the horizon, I’ll tie up in port and wait until it passes. Maybe I can call you, and you can come down and wait it out with me.”
“That sounds like a good plan.” He wasn’t going to tell her about the teaching job at the academy or any other options that might pop up. For now, he’d have to find a way to fit into her future rather than fit her into his.
* * *
“I CAN’T BELIEVE the weekend is over and you have to go back to North Carolina tomorrow,” Annie said.
She and Lisa had taken up residence on the back porch, sprawled out in the heat with tall glasses of lemonade mixed with iced tea. The kids were playing on the lawn in a small paddling pool that Nellie had filled for them, while he and Gabe were down at the boat, trying to rewire the running lights on the mast.
“Couldn’t you stay a few more days?”
“I can’t,” Lisa said.
“But Nellie said you should. He wants you here.”
She smiled, then leaned closer. “Promise you won’t say a thing? Not even to Gabe?”
“What?” Annie gasped. “You already told us about the baby. So, it’s not that. Wait, you’re not pregnant with twins, are you?”
“No!” Lisa said, giving her a playful slap. “At least I don’t think I am. Oh, God, what if I was? Nellie would flip his lid.”
“Then what is it?”
“I have a job interview on Tuesday morning. It’s my third interview, and I think there’s a good chance I’m going to get it.” Lisa laughed and clapped her hands as her excitement bubbled over. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this? Now that Nellie has a regular job, we know we’ll be staying in the same spot for at least a couple years. After he’s done with this project at Pax River, he’ll only have to travel a couple times a month.”
Annie reached out and gave her friend a hug. “I’m so happy for you. What’s the job?”
“It’s for a seed company. Vegetables and flowers. I’ll be designing their packaging and their displays. Something I can do with a big belly.” She reached over the arm of her chair and pulled her tote bag onto her lap. When she found a small notebook, Lisa pushed the bag to her feet and held the book out to her friend.
Annie flipped through it, taking in a mélange of pen and ink drawings, each ablaze with bright color from markers. “Lisa, these are amazing.”
“They were just little doodles that I did while I was sitting at the playground, watching the kids. And then, just by luck, I saw the ad online. I showed them my drawings and they loved them. I just have to meet with the president of the company on Tuesday, but they pretty much implied that the job was mine if I wanted it.”
“Of course you want it!” Annie cried.
“Of course I do!”
“But why haven’t you told Nellie? Do you think he’d disapprove?”
Lisa shook her head. “He’s always said it was up to me whether I worked or not. And I know he’ll be excited for me. I guess I didn’t want to disappoint him, or me, if I didn’t get the job. So I decided to wait until it was a sure thing, then we could celebrate.”
“I think that’s a good idea,” Annie said. “Take your time and be sure.” She took another sip of her lemonade. “I’m kind of jealous of you. A real job. Maybe you can give me some interview tips.”
“Why would you need a job? You have the sailing school. And your trip is coming up. You seem so happy.”
Annie nodded. “I am happy. Maybe happier than I’ve ever been in my life.” She paused and grabbed Lisa’s hand. “Even happier than I was with Erik.”
An uncomfortable silence surrounded them as Annie stared out at the bay. There. She’d said it. The thing that had been nagging at her ever since the weekend began. She’d quietly observed the relationship between Lisa and Nellie, all the while realizing that the trust and intimacy they shared was something she’d never experienced with Erik. She thought she’d loved her husband, but now Annie knew that emotions could run so much deeper between a man and a woman. Gabe was teaching her that.
“I don’t know what to say,” Lisa murmured.
“You don’t have to say anything. Just having you here has made things clearer.”
Lisa leaned forward in her chair and grabbed Annie’s hand. “You’re in love with Gabe, aren’t you?”
Annie felt the tears well in her eyes. The response surprised her. She used to cry all the time, but it was always about Erik. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying.”
“Because you’re happy?”
Annie laughed through her tears. “Yes. I am happy. And I can’t help but feel a little bit guilty about it. Do you think it’s too soon?”
“You know how I feel about Gabe,” Lisa said. “Of all the men you could have picked, I can’t think of a better man to fall in love with.”
Annie stood and walked across the porch, then sat down on the rail and observed Lisa’s children as they splashed water on each other. A sudden ache twisted at her core, and Annie knew that she wanted children someday, two or three little ones with dark hair and brilliant blue eyes, just like Gabe’s.
“When we first started this, it was just supposed to be about a physical relationship,” Annie explained in a soft voice. “I was so lonely, and I just wanted someone to touch me, to make me feel alive again. And for a while, that worked. But now, every time I think about my future, I can’t help but picture Gabe in it.”
“You’re in love.”
“But I can’t fall in love with him. I’ve already told him that. Lisa, I can’t marry another pilot. I can’t risk loving a man who might disappear from my life in the blink of an eye. One day Erik was there and the next he wasn’t. I never had a chance to tell him that I loved him or to say goodbye. We lost out on so many things.”
Lisa got up and joined her at the rail. She smoothed her hand over Annie’s back, rubbing gently. “Honey, maybe this is all part of the cosmic plan. Maybe you weren’t meant to live your life with Erik. Maybe he was the one who was supposed to lead you to Gabe.”
Annie frowned. She’d never considered that possibility. She’d never been very in tune with cosmic matters and only believed in fate or destiny when it came to tragic events. Could Lisa be right?
“I almost asked him to go on my trip with me,” Annie said. “But he’s signed up for test pilot’s school. He starts in February. I’m sure he’d want to stay for that. It’s very hard to get a spot.”
“You should ask him,” Lisa said.
Annie shook her head. “No, I decided I can’t. He’s already worried about the trip, about me sailing alone. He’d go along just to make sure I was safe, not because he really wanted to go. And I want to do it alone. It’s just hard to imagine being away from him for so long.”
“You are in love,” Lisa said. She got up and slowly walked back to her chair. “I need to ask you something, and I need you to be completely honest with me.”
“What is it?” Annie said, suddenly concerned by the somber expression on her friend’s face.
“Do you think Nellie could be cheating on me? I mean, has Gabe ever mentioned anything? Or maybe even Erik?”
“No!” Annie cried.
“Would you tell me if they had?”
“Yes,” Annie said. “Yes, I would tell you, if you asked me directly.” She paused and observed her friend’s expression, an odd feeling coming over her. “This isn’t about Nellie, is it?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Lisa said. She picked up her glass and drew a deep breath, but Annie could see a slight tremor in her hand. What was she getting at? Did she think that Annie had had an affair with her husband?
“As far as I know, Nellie is not cheating. And he’s definitely not cheating with me.”
Lisa gasped. “You? You thought I was talking about you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. This whole conversation is very confusing.”
Lisa shook her head. “It’s not. Just ask the question. And I’ll give you an honest answer.”
Annie stood, pressing her hand to her chest. Her heart began to race inside her, and she felt a bit light-headed. Now she understood. This wasn’t about Nellie, it was about Gabe. He had been with another woman, and Lisa wanted her to know.
Annie clapped her hands over her ears and shook her head. “No, don’t tell me. It doesn’t make any difference. We don’t have any claims on each other. We’re just two consenting adults. Friends with benefits. That’s what we are.”
Lisa stood and grabbed Annie’s wrists, pulling her hands away from her ears. “I’m not talking about Gabe. As far as I know, that man has loved you since the moment he met you. Sure, he’s tried to forget you, a few times over the years, with girls who looked strangely like you, I might add. But I can guarantee you that Gabe Pennington is not the kind of guy who cheats.”
“Then what—” The question died in Annie’s throat. She was talking about Erik. “Oh, I understand.”
“If you don’t care, I’ll forget this ever came up.”
“But it’s not just you,” Annie said. “Nellie knows.” A sharp pain pierced her heart. “Does Gabe know?”
“Yeah.”
“What does he know?”
“Pretty much everything, I think.”
Gabe, the man she’d brought into her bed, the man she’d shared the most incredible intimacies with, had been keeping a secret from her, a secret that made her look like a foolish, naive woman. “I don’t want to know,” Annie said.
“All right, then,” Lisa said. “I’ll make sure the boys know. You’re right. What difference does it make? Erik is gone. It won’t change anything.”
“Was it bad? Did everyone know?”
Lisa paused before answering. “He had a reputation. And it was well earned. Even before you guys met. That’s why they called him Breaker. For Heartbreaker.”
Annie shook her head. “I didn’t know that. All that time I was married to him and I didn’t know that. I thought it was just one of those radio terms. You know, like, breaker, breaker. Heartbreaker.” She brushed an errant tear off her cheek. “How many were there?”
“I don’t know. I think there were a lot. It seemed to be a thing with him. He’d go out with the guys and he’d always leave with some woman. There were a few longer affairs. Are you sure you want to hear about this?”
Annie buried her face in her hands. “No. It doesn’t make a difference. It’s in the past, and I’ll just leave it there.”
“There is one little thing that’s in the present,” Lisa said. “Did Erik have a Rolex watch?”
Annie frowned. “Yeah, he did. One day, he was just wearing it. I wondered about it because I knew he’d never spend money on something like that. He told me he won it in a poker game.”
“He got it from a woman who stole it from her husband. And now she needs to get it back before her husband finds out it’s missing.”
Annie jumped up and ran into the house. She stumbled as she rushed up the stairs to her bedroom. The box was on the floor of her closet, filled with the belongings they’d gathered from Erik’s locker. Tossing aside the top, she rummaged through the contents until she found the watch. She flipped it over and squinted to read an inscription that didn’t make any sense.
Lisa appeared at the door, then crossed the room and sat on the floor next to Annie. She gathered her into an embrace. “It’s better that you know,” she said softly.
Was it? Annie realized that everything she believed about her marriage had been a lie. And all those years of waiting and worrying while Erik was deployed were for someone she really didn’t know.
But there was something worse, something humiliating about the fact that Gabe knew. All along, through all their conversations about Erik and how perfect their marriage had been—he knew. He could have told her, but he’d chosen to let her go on, oblivious to the realities of her world.
“Can we just keep this between the two of us?” Annie asked. “Don’t let Nellie know that I know. He’ll tell Gabe, and then I’m going to have to discuss it with him.”
“I’ll just tell Nellie I was snooping around for the watch and found it, and took it without mentioning it to you.”
“All right,” she said.
Annie drew a ragged breath and leaned back against the wall. All she really wanted to do was crawl into bed, pull the covers over her head and rewind the last nine years of her life. All her memories were suddenly different, colored in a darker hue.
There had been moments when she’d wondered whether Erik had ever been tempted. They’d even talked about it a few times when she’d felt a distance between them. But he’d always reassured her that their marriage was sound.
She’d trusted a man she’d loved to tell her the truth, and he’d betrayed her. And now Gabe had come into her life and she’d trusted him. Could she afford to make another mistake?