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Autumn wasn’t waiting for Ethan to appear. No, she was too busy for that. She tidied the already immaculate shelf for the third time. Irene had warned her this was one of the slowest times of year for the shop, so Autumn was free to read or work on something else as long as the shop, and she, were ready for customers.
She had been kind of rude to Ethan last night. She plopped back onto the stool by the register. It was just...he made her feel, well, held. The way he asked questions and waited to listen to her. But she didn’t want her deep-down feelings held. She wanted them to go away. So she’d wanted Ethan to go away.
Soon it would be time to close the shop for today. The bell jangled and so did her chest. Hopping up, she craned to see who it was. Ethan’s tall frame filled the doorway, shafts of light on either side of him highlighting his thin physique.
“Hey,” he said, a croak in his quiet voice.
Her heart skittered in an odd way. So she was glad to see him, relieved. He was her friend. “Come by to shop?”
“Yeah.”
“Let me know if you’d like any assistance.”
He nodded and perused the shelves near the front window, his back now to her. Fine. He was still the same, sulking when his feelings were hurt. That wasn’t fair of her. Maybe he was just shopping. She just didn’t like his silence, but after the way she’d treated him, it was understandable.
But they were supposed to be able to talk, she and Ethan. They were friends, best friends. Or they always had been. She sat down, crossing and uncrossing her arms.
Why did things have to change? She wanted their friendship to be the same as it had always been.
“I like this one.” He held up a large pillar candle that she’d decorated with entwined vines.
She liked it too; it had been hard to learn how to create those designs to match the pictures in her head. He kept walking, soon picking up a basket made by a local craftsperson, and some smaller candles and a couple of CDs by Montana musicians. Setting the items on the counter, he caught her gaze.
Why was he looking at her like that, like she was some fragile thing he was afraid to break?
“You doing a gift basket?”
He nodded and pulled out his wallet. She rang up the sale.
“We have tissue paper and all to complete it, for a slight fee, if you want.”
“Yeah, thanks.”
“Kind of...” She stopped herself from saying odd. “Looks like stuff for a romantic evening.”
His cheeks dotted red. “You think music and candlelight is romantic?”
“Sure, most people do, right?”
“I wouldn’t know. I was interested in what you thought.”
She turned and filled the basket, building it the way Irene had showed her, so it would make a pretty presentation.
“You know what I think of romance.” She didn’t think of it. Romance was invented by those ridiculous “chivalrous” knights back in the middle ages. She believed in love, yes, but not all the frilly nonsense that people associated with it. Love was an action; it was caring and kind and patient and loyal. It wasn’t candles and cards and hearts and flowers.
“You don’t. You think it’s as ridiculous as that prom dress your mom bought you.”
She tied the cellophane over the basket with a wired ribbon, hiding her grimace. He knew. “You remember that?”
“How could I forget? I couldn’t believe she thought you’d even let that purple ruffled thing near you.”
“Exactly.” Her stomach burbled. Well, she was just hungry. It had nothing to do with her mother and how she felt about their relationship.
“Guess not much has changed.” He sounded almost...sad.
She wouldn’t be sad if things between them hadn’t changed; maybe that was what was going on for him. “What do you mean?”
“You asked me to prom so you could avoid the guys who were asking you, just like why we’re going to the weddings together.” He shrugged. “You gonna wear that cute dress with your cowboy boots again?”
“I did look cute.” And he’d been handsome in a suit. She hadn’t seen him in a suit before that night. And not since. “And you clean up well.”
His lips quirked up. “We’ll make a couple.” The upward trajectory turned down.
A strange feeling clopped through her chest from his words. She must just be hungry. “I better close up here.”
“Okay.” He took the basket in hand. “Nice job.”
She nodded. “Whatcha up to?” She went about the closing tasks.
“Dinner out at Middleton Ranch. Want to come?”
A couple, he’d said. But they weren’t. She itched the back of her neck as it prickled. He wasn’t suggesting that. Still, better to not act like they were by appearing out every night together.
Ugh, what was with this—they were friends, and should be able to hang out whenever. Adulthood had its perks, but being the subject of relationship gossip wasn’t one of them. Already today, a friend of Lucinda Riggs and Mr. Taft had been in, buying cards, and insinuated that there was something more than friendship between her and Ethan. Which was as ridiculous as that prom dress had been, and as unwelcome. Though, she couldn’t imagine being with anyone but Ethan... But not in a romantic way. She wasn’t romantic. Her chest heated.
Ethan shifted the basket in hand, waiting by the door. “So, you want to come along?”
“Thanks, but I have some paperwork to do tonight. I’ll see you at the wedding, yeah?”
He hung his head. “Okay, see you then.”
She almost changed her answer at his disappointed look, but neither of them needed to be the subject of local gossip. She locked the door behind him and watched from the darkened shop as he made his way slowly down the street, his dark jacket peppered with white snowflakes. He soon disappeared around the far corner. Snow dotted against the window. She rubbed her arms and shook her head, swallowing down against the emptiness in her belly, trying to convince herself it had just been a long time since lunch.
***
“THANKS FOR THE RIDE,” Autumn said to Tim Raines and his wife, who sat in the front seat of his truck. Mr. Raines parked in the lot by Manning Lodge, where the wedding would take place. The large log-cabinesque building sat on the far end of the Manning property, so that the day-to-day ranch business wasn’t affected. It wasn’t a log cabin in any other way than its building materials. Autumn hadn’t visited more than once or twice, as it was a newer addition to the Manning empire.
“Ethan is taking you back to town?” Mr. Raines asked.
“Yes.” Her stomach seemed to be full of pop rocks.
“He seems like he could use a friend these days. He’s lucky to have you.”
Clara, the oldest Raines child at fifteen, rolled her eyes at her dad. Autumn shook her head. She got where Clara was coming from, but at the same time believed the girl should be glad to have a caring dad around. They all exited the truck.
Ethan waved from the stone path to the front entrance. Autumn fiddled with the fabric belt of her forest green shirtdress. Her parka seemed too warm, even though a chill breeze nipped at her cheeks.
The Raineses went ahead while Autumn walked, pretending to take in the wide expanse of land and the grand building. Her tights and boots protected her lower half from the dropping temperature, though she didn’t notice the cold much as Ethan approached with a smile.
She stopped. His suit made him look older, somehow different, even while his grin reminded her he was her same old friend. A very handsome friend.
“Hey,” he said. “I... You look...good.” He glanced down at his boots.
“You too. Surprised you’re out here. You don’t have some sort of wedding duty?”
“Nah. The wedding is pretty small. Too big to have at the ranch house, but there’s only Brandon and Irene as attendants. Our staff is handling most of the party.” He motioned her forward and they walked inside.
He helped her with her coat. Her chest heated. Was she coming down with something? Her temperature seemed all over the place today, and now seemed elevated.
“We can check your coat and then mingle, if you want?”
She nodded. Yep, she must be coming down with the flu, the way she prickled with heat and her throat tightened.
“Uh, where’s the restroom?” she choked out.
Ethan glanced at her, his brow crinkled. Leading her to the side, he ushered her to the door. “I’ll be here.”
She nodded and pushed open the door. After a few minutes, she studied herself in the mirror. The heat and tightness had subsided. She fluffed her hair. So she’d wanted to look pretty, and had taken extra time to wave her hair and even put on a bit of makeup. She had a new job and place in the community, and wanted to do that proud. It had nothing to do with Ethan. She grimaced then frowned as the heat returned along with his image.
“Autumn!” Mrs. Davis, one of Autumn’s high school teachers, now retired, said as she walked in. “I like your dress. Green is your color.”
“Thanks. I bet Mr. Taft can’t keep his eyes off you in that outfit.” Mrs. D had on a long dress that showed off her slim figure and pale coloring.
“It’s not just Kenny.” Mrs. D winked. “Now, I know why you’re here with Ethan, but don’t keep him from the other young ladies. He deserves to find that special someone.”
Autumn’s chest squeezed. “I agree. He’s waiting, so I’ll see you.”
Mrs. D waggled her fingers and Autumn exited. Did Ethan want to find someone special? They were young, only twenty-three and twenty-four. What was the rush? Couldn’t people just let them have fun?
Ethan turned and smiled at her again. Her brows tugged together.
“Ready?”
She nodded and let him lead her around the lobby, with its large stone fireplace, crackling flames bringing back the warmth to her chest. Paintings of various Montana landscapes dotted the walls, and Arts and Crafts style furniture welcomed weary travelers. A bookshelf lined one short wall, where a huge wooden-framed doorway led to a seating area before a small restaurant. People sat on sofas and chairs, drinks and food waiting on coffee tables of rustic wood.
“The wedding’s in the ballroom.” Ethan motioned a hand toward an open door on the other side of the fireplace.
They walked over, checking in at a table before entering the cavernous room, a floor-to-ceiling window giving a spectacular view of the snow-covered ground with trees and mountains in the distance. Chairs were set up in rows on a wood floor and tables waited for the meal to come.
“Want a drink?” Ethan asked.
She nodded again. Her throat didn’t want to let words out. He handed her a champagne flute from a passing tray carried by a waitperson in black and white. His own glass had a little metal charm with an apple stamped on it.
“Cheers,” he said, clinking their glasses.
She sipped the bubbly drink. It fizzed away some of the tension. “Sparkling cider?” She motioned to his glass. “Still into the kiddie drinks?”
He smirked. “I’m driving later.”
She shrugged and they walked the perimeter, greeting some of the other guests. They stopped in a spot that gave them a view of the room. Of course, all his brothers and their partners were here; and most of the town’s business owners, like Mr. Taft, Mrs. G, the George-Careys, Dolly and Luke; and thirty or so others who weren’t well known to Autumn, being in Adam’s or Minnie’s circles.
Autumn touched her throat. She glanced at Ethan again; he had that same off look. She needed to find out what was up. “Seriously, Eth, what’s going on with you? What’s your dream?”
They used to talk about stuff like that, or rather she’d interrogate him and sometimes he’d share. She liked to know what was going on for her friends.
He rubbed his hand on his cheek. It was hot in here, as his cheeks reflected the heat that made her clasp her cool glass in hand.
“That’s a big question.”
“Mrs. D thinks you want to find someone special. Is that part of it?”
He met her curious gaze with a tender look. “Yeah. But I’ve already found someone. I just need to let her know.” His words rushed out.
Her heart raced, a runaway colt. Then his gaze slid from hers. She followed his eyes as they seemed to settle on a young woman carrying a tray. Tall, with dark hair and model good looks, as well as a warm smile, Autumn’s chest weighted with knowledge.
“What’s stopping you?”
“I... Seems like something like that takes time.”
Why was he talking about leaving the ranch if this was the woman? Maybe she wasn’t on the regular staff?
“Who is she?” Autumn nodded toward the woman.
“Elena. Her dad works with Nathan. They’re hoping to set up their own little place and bring her mom here. I’m doing what I can. It’s rough, being separated from your parents unnecessarily.”
That sounded like Ethan, being kind and caring. Ethan and Elena. They sounded like a storybook couple. He’d like that too, his own fairy tale. She rubbed her stomach.
“I need to sit down.”
“You okay?” He grasped her elbow.
“Just, feeling kind of not so good.”
He led her to a seat on the edge of the rows and she sank into the padded chair. “Can I get you something? Ginger ale, aspirin?”
She shook her head. “I’ll be fine. You go on and mingle, huh?” Though it seemed the person he wanted to be with was working. Was that why he’d wanted to go with her?
“I don’t—”
“I just want to sit by myself, ‘kay?”
He swallowed hard and stood tall. “I’ll check on you soon.” He touched her shoulder.
What was happening to her? She wanted Ethan to be happy. He was her oldest, closest friend. Her best friend. So why were tears forming and clogging her throat?
She closed her eyes. She was just emotional lately. Her life was marked by changes these last years, that was all. It was an adjustment. And she wasn’t a fan of weddings. The party aspect was fun, but they seemed to remind her of her mom’s wedding to her latest husband, which had been a dismal affair, at least for Autumn. Her mom had gone on shouting sprees before the ceremony, yelling at Autumn for not wearing the right dress, for not supporting her enough, for reminding her somehow that Montana, and her mother’s former life, existed.
The same pinch to her heart, the same ill feeling welled in her, a bubbling crud that threatened her inner landscape. She wouldn’t let it out. Instead, she’d cover it over until she could drain it dry. She downed the last of her drink and clamped her jaw tight.
She was Autumn West and she could blaze through anything.