33
I would’ve been the beggingest, pleadingest man you ever saw
Malachi—Thursday, September 10—9:07 p.m.
“Mal?” Carissa called out as she came in through the garage door. I mentally prepared myself for what was coming next. Deliberately I shifted on the sofa so I looked casual and calm when she entered the room.
“I’m in here,” I called out and picked up my iPad. Just stay calm, Mal, I told myself. Whatever she says, you can handle it.You’ve handled worse.You lost her before, you could survive it again. I shook my head and exhaled as she walked in the room. “Hey.”
She paused tentatively inside the door. “Meshach called you?”
“He did,” I replied tonelessly.
“Do I want to know what he told you?”
Suddenly I was out of patience. “Just tell me what you have to say, Carissa.”
“Promise me you won’t get mad?”
I laughed shortly. “I absolutely cannot make that promise.”
She took a short step forward. “Promise me you’ll hear me out.”
“That I can do.”
“I really thought...I’m really scared... The thing that has me worried is...”
Now I was worried. Carissa did not stutter. I set the iPad down and pushed to an upright position, focusing all my attention on her.
“My thought was—what if I go all in with Mal and he breaks my heart again?”
“What if you break mine again?”
“Again?” she asked in confusion.
“You broke mine when you left.”
“You broke mine way before that.”
I nodded. “So you’ve said.”
“I don’t think you get what that night did to me.”
“The night you left?”
“The night you belittled me, ignored me, and treated me like a bothersome groupie for the last time.”
“Again, I apologize. I do know I acted like a dick, but no, I didn’t realize it felt that way to you. I never meant to make you feel that way.”
“Okay. But understand that I vowed not to let anyone make me feel that way again. Ever.”
There was nothing I could say to take back that night or the ones like it that had come before so I just clasped my hands. “I can’t take it back. I can only apologize and promise to do better. Your feelings in that regard are understandable.”
She continued. “My fear was and still is that all of this”—she gestured to the house; the television coincidently was tuned to the NFL Network where they were showing my last touchdown—“is going to go to your head. I’m afraid you’ll lose your way and I’ll get shifted to the back. Don’t get me wrong; you’ve been great this summer and these past few months. It’s been great. But I don’t want to live in your shadow, Mal.”
“I don’t want you to. I never did. I just sucked at juggling priorities and making sure we were on the same page. I did a piss-poor job of keeping my eyes on what’s really important, but that’s never going to happen again, Ris.”
“It’s not?”
“It’s not,” I reiterated firmly. “I’m not that guy. I lost everything. Everything that really mattered to me. I would have given up the house, the cars, the bank accounts to get you back.”
“What about football? Would you give up football to get me back?” she said in a voice a little above a whisper.
My breath whooshed out and I considered my words carefully before I spoke. I knew that whatever I said next would determine our future. “If it came down to either football or you? I’d choose you. I won’t pretend it wouldn’t be hard as hell, but for you, I would do it. Do you want me to do it? I can walk away and we can run the foundation together. We’ve got money in the bank; I’ve got a few things lined up. We can call a press conference and be packed up and in Belle Haven in three days’ time.”
“I wouldn’t ask you to do that.” She launched herself at me and I caught her close. “I love you too much to ask that of you. I love you, Mal—football, fame, and all. I can’t pretend that I’d prefer we weren’t so high profile right now. I hate this part of the game, the fans and the fame, but football is what you love and this comes with you. I want you complete when you’re with me.”
“Am I with you?”
“You’re with me.”
“And you love me?”
“I never stopped.”
The vice grip that had been squeezing my heart loosened and things inside of me shifted from frightened to content. “What took you so long to tell me?”
“I couldn’t. If I said it, it was real.”
“What about Jordan?” I asked.
She pulled back to meet my gaze. “I won’t lie to you. I told him I’d give you up and try with him.”
I winced. “I hope he knows you lied to him.”
“He called me on it before I had to take it back. We parted as friends.”
“Um-hmm. Distant friends who rarely see each other. Did you really think I would let you go that easily?”
Her eyes widened. “What would you have done?”
I shifted her closer to me. “Made both of your lives a holy hell. Every off day I had I would have been at your spot pleading ‘please, baby; baby, please.’ Every interview I would have been begging and singing, ‘Until you come back to me, that’s what I’m gonna do.’ Girl, I would’ve been the beggingest, pleadingest man you ever saw.”
She dissolved into giggles. “Thank God we’re spared that.”
“I was terrified you were coming over here tonight to tell me you were leaving me for him.”
“I almost did,” she admitted in a small voice.
“That cuts.” That cut to the bone. I came that close to losing her.
“But I came to my senses. I’m here, Mal. I’m here to stay.”
“What about Belle Haven?”
“Mac can finish working on the house, especially since I need to expand the master suite to fit a certain pro baller.”
“Damn right. A brother needs some closet space.”
She rolled her eyes. “When I checked in with the administrators at Havenwood, it’s pretty clear they are okay with offering the substitute teacher my full-time position. Apparently, I’ve become more of a disruption than a guiding force.”
“I don’t want you to give up teaching if you love it,” I protested.
“Give up teaching high schoolers at a private school? I think I’ll survive the loss. I’d rather concentrate on getting the foundation up and running here and in Belle Haven. That’s the real kind of mentoring and teaching I want to do. I want to reach the kids we can help the most. There are teenagers hungry for education everywhere. We can show kids that education is a chance for a better life.”
“Or we can teach them sports,” I teased.
“Ri-ight because so many kids make it to the pros from Belle Haven, Louisiana. But you know, it might not be a bad idea to do a summer workshop combining our interests, either here or in Belle Haven.” Her eyes lit up talking about it.
“Sports and Shakespeare might actually be cool.”
“We’ll make it so.” She hugged me tighter.
I nodded and stroked my hand up and down her back. “We’ll split our time. Off season in Belle Haven, season here in Houston for however much longer I play.”
“So we’ll be here a while, then.”
“Ris?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.”
“Marry me?” I held my breath and waited for her answer.
After a beat or two, she asked. “Really?”
“Really. After the season, let’s go somewhere tropical.”
“Belize?”
“Why Belize?”
“Why not?”
“Why not indeed?” I reached into a drawer on the coffee table and pulled out a small box. I saw the expression on her face. With an inward grin, I opened the lid and turned it toward her.
“Oh!” She exclaimed as her eyes lit up and she reached for the ring.
“You thought I’d give you the same ring? You hated that thing,” I teased her. This was a three-carat, brilliant-cut sapphire surrounded with round diamonds. Much more her style.
She held out her finger.
“Is that a yes?”
“That’s a yes. I love it.”
“And me?”
“And you too.”
I slid the ring onto her finger. “This is it, woman. You and me. We’re done being stupid with each other.”
“This is it. You’re stuck with me even if I gain forty pounds, cut off all my hair, and develop an addiction to chocolate truffles.”
“You’re already addicted to chocolate truffles and I liked you with the extra cushion.”
“Mal,” she protested.
“I did! More bounce to the ounce.” I grinned.
“You’re so nasty.”
“You like me that way.”
“I love you that way.”
“Then that’s all we need.”