Sheldon was leaving, after all. He’d pretended—until the very last minute—that he might not go. He liked keeping her unsettled and off-balance. But he’d really had her going this time. Margot had been afraid he was seriously considering missing the trip, not because he was worried about letting her spend time with Gia, as he claimed, but because he was so caught up in his clandestine relationship with Cece.
In the end, his friends had prevailed upon him not to cancel—they had their lodgings and everything else in place—and Margot had acted disappointed by the fact that he wouldn’t be around to “support” her while she was “going through so much with her mother.” That made him angry, of course. It’s just one week, Margot—for Chrissake! Why do you have to make me feel guilty about it?
At least he didn’t seem to realize how she really felt.
While he loaded the truck, she made chicken salad sandwiches for him and his buddies and cut vegetables for the ranch dip she’d made last night. It felt like she’d run the gauntlet to get to this point, as though she was nearing some sort of finish line. And yet...this was just the beginning. What happened from here would be anyone’s guess—where she’d end up, if she’d be able to get a job, whether Sheldon would come after her and what she’d do if he did. He was taking the shotgun with him, so if she didn’t take the Glock, and he ever found her and got violent with her, she’d only have pepper spray with which to protect herself.
But she didn’t want to have a handgun around the boys. She’d have to make do with less, even though she hadn’t even purchased the pepper spray yet. Sheldon often complained about what she was spending on basic household items and went over the receipts. She didn’t want a purchase like that one raising a red flag. From what she’d heard, it was widely available; she figured she’d just get some at one of her first stops. But when she imagined his rage once he realized she’d left him and taken the boys—not to mention the fact that she was about to drain their joint checking and savings accounts to be able to survive until she could establish an income—she didn’t feel pepper spray would be enough.
She could only hope he’d never find her...
“Mom, can we go to the park today?”
It was still very early, barely six o’clock, but when she glanced over her shoulder, she saw her oldest standing in the doorway, rubbing his eyes. All the commotion of Sheldon trying to get off on the trip must’ve awakened him. “It’s Saturday, so you don’t have school,” she replied. “I don’t see why not.”
She’d packed some of the items and clothing she felt they’d need and stored it under the house, filling boxes that’d once held holiday decorations—after secretly throwing away the decorations, bit by bit, in the school dumpster. She knew Sheldon would never go near that section of their storage. He was an absolute Scrooge when it came to Christmas. She could barely get him to help her drag out the tree. And once he did, she had to decorate it by herself—until the last couple of years, when the boys were finally old enough to help with the lower branches.
As soon as Sheldon left, she was going to grab those boxes, throw them in her Subaru and take off herself. She wouldn’t waste a single minute. She wished she could stop and say a final farewell to her family, especially her dear mother. Her heart ached at being unable to do that. But she knew she’d break down if she did. Or Gia would start in on her about Sheldon and the rumors of his affair with Cece. She didn’t have time for any of that. She had to think about her children, put them first, and get out while she could.
“Now?” Matthew asked excitedly.
She chuckled. “It’s too early for the park, honey. I’m going to help your father get on the road. Then I’ll make you some breakfast. Why don’t you watch a few cartoons while I finish up in here?” She figured she could make good on her park promise by pulling over somewhere once she felt they were far enough away. She’d been studying maps she’d taken from the closet in her mother’s house; she didn’t dare search the internet for fear Sheldon would be able to bring up her browsing history. The last thing she needed was to create a trail of breadcrumbs leading right to her. She was going to leave her cell phone behind with the computer. She’d seen too many true crime shows where a victim or suspect could be traced using cell towers.
“I think that’s it,” Sheldon announced, coming up behind Matthew.
Matthew craned his neck to look up at his father. “Are you leaving, Daddy?”
“Yep.”
“Can I go with you?”
Margot knew Sheldon wouldn’t take him, but if he did... She couldn’t even consider that.
“You’re not old enough. I’ll take you when you’re fourteen or fifteen.”
“Go turn on the TV,” she told him. “I’m about finished with Daddy’s lunch. I’ll start on your breakfast next.”
As Matthew slipped past him to go to the living room, Sheldon came to the counter and snagged half a sandwich before she could put it in a baggie. “Are you hungry?” she asked. “I thought you said you had cereal.”
Stuffing most of the sandwich into his mouth, he talked around it. “I did, but there’s no reason I can’t have this, too.”
As she watched him chew, she thought about having shared almost fifteen years of her life with him. She’d borne his children. She should feel more of a sense of loss... But there were only nerves, the butterflies in her stomach that made it so difficult to eat. She was going to turn her whole life upside down, do something he’d never expect from her.
“Here you go,” she said when she’d packed the rest of the food in a cooler. “I cut up some apples, too.”
“I doubt anyone will want an apple.”
She drew a deep, steadying breath. “You can leave them here, if you want. I’ll feed them to the kids.”
“Naw,” he said with a shrug. “I’ll take them just in case.”
There was no gratitude, just entitlement. But this would be the end of it, she promised herself. “Okay.” She lifted the cooler for him. “Have a good time.”
He gazed down at her. “What? No goodbye kiss?”
Unless he wanted sex, he’d pretty much quit touching her. He’d never been a particularly demonstrative person, but even the small amount of affection she’d been clinging to early on was nearly nonexistent these days. “Oh, of course.”
She rose up on tiptoe, but he held her off. “What’s going on with you?”
Her heart leaped into her throat as she dropped her arms instead of putting them around him. “What do you mean?”
“You’re acting weird—remote, like a fucking robot.”
“I—I’m going through a hard time with...with my mother,” she stammered. “I’m just...trying to keep functioning.”
He squinted slightly as he stared down at her. “And that business about Cece? Asking me if I’d rather be married to her?”
She focused on her mother, on the fact that she’d very likely never see Ida again, which made it easy to conjure up tears. They were already just below the surface today. “I thought... I thought you didn’t love me anymore.”
He shocked her by pulling her into his arms and resting his chin on her head. “Of course I still love you. I’d never give up on us. It’s you giving up that I sometimes worry about.”
The lump in her throat grew so big she couldn’t speak. She had given up; she’d given up months ago. But that didn’t mean she didn’t mourn the loss of what they could’ve had—and had almost achieved in the early years.
After a few moments, he held her away from him so he could look into her face. “Are you going to be okay while I’m gone?”
A tear slid down her cheek, and he actually smiled at her as he wiped it away. “Everything’s going to be okay. You’ll see.”
She nodded. Then he grabbed the cooler and carried it out.
She stood in the kitchen, listening to his truck as he pulled out of the drive and headed down the street. Even after the sound had grown so dim she couldn’t hear it anymore—so she knew he was gone—she felt frightened, unsteady. Once she left, there’d be no coming back. Was she equal to the challenge of all that lay ahead?
It didn’t feel like it. But that was why she had to go now. In a week, a month, a year there might not be enough of the old Margot left.
Wiping the tears that were still streaming down her face, she called out to Matthew. “Matthew! Go wake your brother. You two need to get dressed right away.”
He met her as she was coming out of the kitchen, on her way to throw their clothes and toiletries into suitcases and gather the extra bedding, pots and pans, plates, silverware, towels and even toilet paper she’d hidden in storage.
He gave her a funny look when he saw her red-rimmed eyes. “What’s wrong, Mommy? Did Daddy make you sad?”
“Yes,” she said. “Daddy has made me sad for a very long time.”
Stepping forward, he attempted to comfort her by hugging her leg, and she squeezed her eyes closed as she took far more solace from that gesture than he could ever know. “Thank you, baby. Mommy’s going to be okay. We’re all going to be okay. Run and get dressed.”
He pulled away. “Are we going to the park now? What about breakfast?”
“We’ll get McDonald’s. How’s that?”
“Yum!” he cried and ran ahead of her down the hall yelling, “Greydon! Get up! We’re going to McDonald’s!”
As she heard Greydon’s voice and the boys started to get dressed, Margot ran her fingers lightly down the wall—her way of saying goodbye to the house she’d tried so hard to make a home.
Gia grabbed a sweater and helped her mother into it. The rain had stopped, but it was chilly out, and Ida constantly complained of being cold. “How’s that?”
“Better,” her mother replied.
Ida had just taken a nap. She had to do that often. “Want to watch what Dad’s watching in the living room or have me turn on the TV in your bedroom?”
“Neither. Not right now. While I feel strong enough, I’d like to spend an hour working on our genealogy in the office.” She started down the hall but turned back. “What time is it?”
“Nearly three,” Gia told her.
Her mother frowned. “Margot must be busy with the boys today. I thought once Sheldon left on his hunting trip, she’d be over.”
Gia had assumed the same thing. She’d tried calling her sister, but Margot hadn’t picked up. “Maybe Sheldon’s running late. Or he decided not to go.”
“That’s possible, I guess. She doesn’t generally come over when he’s home on the weekends, so that could explain it. He wants...family time.”
Or total control, Gia thought.
“But it’s weird that she’s not answering my calls,” her mother continued.
“You’ve been trying to reach her, too?”
“I have. Three times.”
Gia checked the clock again. “I’m sure we’ll hear from her before nightfall.”
“Maybe you should drive over there...” her mother suggested.
Since Leo was home today, Gia didn’t feel quite so tied to the house, and she thought paying Margot a visit might give them a chance to talk privately. “Good idea,” she said, but once she reached her sister’s house, both Sheldon’s truck and Margot’s Subaru were gone, and no one answered the door.
She called her mother from her sister’s front stoop. “No one’s here. I’m guessing Sheldon went hunting, since his truck is gone, and Margot’s out grocery shopping or running other errands.”
“So why isn’t she picking up?”
“Maybe she forgot her phone here at the house.”
Her mother seemed to accept that, so after peering through the window to make sure everything was as it should be, Gia drove to Delia’s Big Buns on the main drag and ordered a burger. When she was living in Wakefield, half the high school hung out at Delia’s, either at lunch, while ditching class, or after the final bell. She’d loved the food and was just unwrapping her favorite menu item—the barbecue bacon cheeseburger—when she happened to glance up and see a man staring at her as he drove slowly past.
That was Mr. Hart, she realized, sitting up straighter. He’d aged, lost some hair and gone gray, but she’d know that face anywhere...
The car behind him honked, wanting him to speed up, so he gave the aging Blazer he was driving some gas. But a few minutes later, he drove by again, going in the opposite direction.
Gia ignored him. He was trying to get a better look at her. Or upset her. Or both. She tried to keep her eyes averted, but before she could even finish her burger, she saw him come by yet again.
Of course this would happen on her first chance to get out of the house...
Shoving the rest of her burger and fries back into the sack, she tossed the food in the wastebasket as she made her way to her father’s SUV. She was done letting Evan Hart gawk at her.
Besides, she had to help her parents with dinner and get showered before the Banned Books Club meeting. Since she’d heard from Ruth, she wasn’t quite as nervous about attending as she’d been a few days ago, but she still wanted to look her best.
Gia was just climbing into the driver’s seat when the vehicle Mr. Hart had been driving turned into the burger joint. A chill ran down her spine the moment she saw him. He wouldn’t say anything... Surely, he knew better than to do that.
Stopping immediately behind her, he glared at her via her side mirror.
Incensed that he’d made it impossible for her to leave, Gia got out. “What do you want?” she yelled.
It was cold enough that there weren’t many people eating at the outdoor tables, but there were a few. They looked up in surprise, but Gia didn’t care. Mr. Hart was obviously trying to intimidate her, and she wasn’t going to put up with it. “Well?” she demanded, resting her hands on her hips.
His window slid down. “I want to know how it feels to ruin a man’s life,” he yelled back at her. “I want to know if you’re proud of yourself.”
“How dare you!” she said. “You ruined your life—and you nearly ruined mine!”
“I’m happy you suffered some consequences!”
“You know I’m not lying about that night!”
“Hey!” A mountain of a man stood up from where he’d been eating and motioned for Mr. Hart to move along. “I won’t tolerate a man accosting a woman. If you have a legitimate beef with her, you’d better handle it somewhere else, when you’re not around me.”
Mr. Hart didn’t respond to the man directly. He shook his head, said she should be ashamed of herself and drove off.
The man held his soda in one hand as he watched the Blazer go around the drive-through and turn onto the street. “You okay?” he called over to her when Hart was gone.
Initially, Gia thought it might be someone she’d known from high school—someone who understood what was going on. But she was glad, once she had a chance to look more closely, to see that her Good Samaritan was a total stranger. That made things a little simpler. Encountering Mr. Hart had been enough of a blast from the past. “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for...thanks for getting rid of him,” she said and climbed into her father’s SUV as he returned to his meal.
Cormac hadn’t been able to reach Louisa or either of his brothers-in-law. They must’ve decided among themselves that he was now part of the enemy camp and closed ranks. That they would exclude him instead of considering what he had to say stung—and made him angry at the same time. These were his little sisters. Louisa worked for him; he was the reason she had a job that was flexible enough to allow her to take off when she wanted or even bring her kids to the clinic. But she, along with Edith, had fully embraced their father’s side of the story for so long they’d indoctrinated their husbands. He was the one who’d changed; he could see why that would upset them.
Finally, an hour before the reunion was supposed to start, Cormac called his father. He wanted to know if Evan was involved, if he knew what was going on and was possibly even behind it. If so, maybe he could get his father to listen to reason and call off the others. Evan had to see how a confrontation, especially a public one, would just dredge it all back up and continue to split loyalties and keep people talking.
When his dad’s voicemail came on, Cormac thought maybe Evan wasn’t speaking to him, either. But five minutes later, his phone lit up with a picture of his father.
“You called?” Evan said when Cormac answered.
“I did. Are you at work?”
“Not anymore. Just got home.”
“You must be feeling better.”
“I told you I would be, that you were worried I’d miss more days for nothing. What do you need?”
Cormac sat on the edge of the couch and scratched behind Duke’s ears while he talked. “Louisa and Edith and their husbands are going to a reunion Gia planned for the Banned Books Club tonight.”
“They are? Why would they go there?”
It didn’t seem as if he knew about it. “They plan to confront Gia, to humiliate her in public, I guess, because nothing else will come of it. They haven’t told you about this?”
“No. Haven’t heard a word about it. But more power to them. It’s about time someone stood up for me.”
Cormac grimaced at his father’s response. “You were a grown man. She was just a girl.”
“Which is why all the sympathy went her way. You think that’s fair?”
It was more than fair—if he’d done it. “I don’t think it’s a wise idea to start a fight at a restaurant, Dad. I’m hoping you’ll call them and get them to change their minds.”
“Why would I do that?” he asked.
“Because it’s in the past, and we need to let it go! We’ve been over this.”
“It’s not in the past for me, especially now that she’s in town and everyone’s talking about it again and...and looking at me as if their young daughters might be at risk. That’s a terrible feeling. You have no idea because you still have a great reputation here in town.”
He had a great reputation because he hadn’t done anything to sully it.
Dropping his head in his hands, Cormac tried again. “Dad, if they want to talk to her, they need to do it privately. Ganging up on her, especially in public, isn’t right.”
“She’ll be fine. I just saw her in town a couple of hours ago. And you know what she did? She started screaming at me. That was at a restaurant, too. All I was doing was turning in to the drive-through to grab a burger—and she made a big scene. I don’t feel sorry for her. She deserves whatever she gets.”
Cormac had a hard time picturing the woman who’d come to the house doing what his father had just described. Was it true? He was beginning to doubt everything his father said. “So...you won’t step in and stop them?”
“No! I’ve been miserable for seventeen years. Maybe it’s time she feels a little pain.”
“Dad—”
“You need to call them, not me. I’m not getting involved.” The line went dead.
“Damn it!” Cormac muttered. Was his father’s reaction due to righteous indignation? Or something else?
A snippet of Gia’s testimony seventeen years ago came back to him: He said he held all the power, so no one would believe me if I tried to challenge him.
But she had challenged him. Did his father want to see Gia punished because she was lying—or because he’d thought he could get away with what he’d done, and she’d fought back and proven him wrong?
Gia couldn’t help being nervous. She showed up at the restaurant thirty minutes early just so she wouldn’t have to walk into the room after it was full. Even then, she wished she’d asked Margot to accompany her. She’d been a lot more confident in her friendships when she’d planned this event, hadn’t felt as though familial support would be necessary. The Banned Books Club had lasted when almost nothing else from high school had.
The waitress showed her to the room Sammie had reserved. It had two long tables going down each side, so Gia chose a seat at the far end, where she could watch the door as people arrived. She’d checked in with Ruth and Sammie after she left the drive-through, just to be sure the whole thing was going to come off, and they’d both assured her that there’d been a good response to the email.
We’re expecting eighteen people, which is huge, considering some members haven’t been active for a long time, Sammie had said, and she was probably right. Coming to the online Christmas party once a year wasn’t quite the same thing as being an active ongoing member.
Fortunately, Sammie showed up a few minutes after Gia. Then Ruth came. The others started dribbling in at seven. After her encounter with Mr. Hart, Gia had been tense and uneasy—she hadn’t felt like socializing, not in her hometown where opinions of her were so polarized. But she slowly started to unwind and enjoy herself and was talking and laughing as the waitress delivered the food. It wasn’t until she was halfway through the meal that she heard a murmur that caused her to look up. Then she saw Louisa and Edith stalk into the room, looking grim and determined, followed by two men she could only assume were their husbands.