Most of the people Gia associated with were men. There were a lot more of them in her business—both as competitors and clients—and there’d been more men than women in Alaska, where she’d spent ten years before moving to Idaho. But as the men she knew got married, she had the opportunity to meet their wives—and then their kids—which was nice because it broadened her social circle. Eric Cheung, who’d learned to fly in the military and been her flight instructor in Alaska before becoming her business partner, had met and then married his wife only six months after they’d moved Backcountry Adventures to Coeur d’Alene, so Gia was coming to know Coty well.
“I thought we were going to head back to Glacier once the season ended,” Eric said as they sat huddled around the fire pit he’d built in his backyard, holding a drink.
“I was looking forward to focusing on our photography, but—” Gia frowned up at the night sky “—who knows if the weather would even allow a trip to the park. Winter seems to be coming early this year.”
“That’s good,” he clarified. “We were after snow shots, remember?”
She did remember and regretted that she couldn’t follow through with their plans. He’d recently convinced a local gallery to carry his work and said he could probably get her in. But she couldn’t ignore what was going on in the rest of her life by heading to Glacier National Park on November 1 as they’d discussed. “I know, but...my mom’s taken a turn for the worse.”
He sobered instantly. “I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve been meaning to ask about her, but I didn’t want to keep probing that sore spot. The treatments aren’t working, then?”
“I think they’ve done all they can.”
Coty came out of the house after putting their daughter to bed. “What did I miss?”
“My mom isn’t doing well.”
“That’s terrible news.” She frowned as she sat down next to her husband, who shifted to put his arm around her and help keep her warm. They could’ve gone inside, but the one thing Gia had in common with the men she associated with was a love for the outdoors.
“It is. I wish that wasn’t the case, but...” Gia let her words trail off before taking the last sip of her beer.
“How long will you be gone?” Eric asked.
“I’m not sure. Shorter would be better. I have so much history there. But it’ll depend on how things go with my mom.”
Coty leaned forward to reclaim the wineglass she’d set aside when she left. “What kind of history are you talking about?”
That was hard to explain. Even Eric didn’t know. “Just people I’d rather not see and things I’d rather not remember.”
Coty’s forehead creased. “How long’s it been since you were there?”
“About six months. I can handle a short visit over the weekend here and there—one where my family is all I see. But this could be for the entire winter, until I have to return to help open Backcountry Adventures.”
“If you need to stay longer—” Eric started, but Gia cut him off.
“I’m hoping that won’t be necessary. You’re doing enough covering the rest of October. But...we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, I guess.”
“Well, if your mom needs you, you’ll be glad you went,” he said.
“I don’t know that she needs me. She has Margot. They’ve always been close, understand each other a lot better than she and I do. But...”
“Your mom’s your mom,” Coty said gently.
Gia nodded and got up to toss her can in the recycle bin a few steps away.
Eric followed her lead, the chink of his can hitting only seconds after hers. “Have you told Mike?”
Gia shifted on her feet, feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Mike was an aviation maintenance technician—he serviced and repaired helicopters. She’d met him when he did a thorough inspection of their craft right after she moved to Coeur d’Alene, but it had only been lately, after his divorce, that they’d started dating. “Not yet.”
“He’ll be heartbroken,” Eric predicted.
“No, we’re not that far along in our relationship.” She’d been ready to bail out, anyway. She liked Mike as much or more than some of the other men she’d dated over the years. They both enjoyed flying and had a good time together. But she had a problem with intimacy. Getting close to someone required too much trust—more trust than she seemed capable of cobbling together. So whenever a romantic relationship began to grow serious, she’d break away and move on, and that usually only took a few months.
“Does he know that?” Eric asked wryly.
“I told him from the beginning that I’m not looking for anything serious, Eric. Believe me, he was warned.”
Eric laughed. “All that does is create a challenge, G. I’m sure he’s hoping he’ll be the one to change that.”
She settled back in her seat while Eric remained standing. “I don’t think anyone can change it. It’s just...me.”
“When will you be leaving?” Coty asked.
“As soon as possible. Margot’s in a panic, acts like she can’t wait for me to get there.”
“I bet she needs your support as much as your mother does,” Eric said.
Gia pursed her lips. “That could be true. She has such a crappy husband. I doubt he gives her much of anything.”
“You’ve talked about him before,” Eric responded with a laugh.
Gia crossed her legs. “I don’t understand why she doesn’t demand more from him.”
“I know Eric’s heard this, but I haven’t,” Coty said. “Why don’t you like him?”
“He’s an arrogant asshole,” Gia replied. “Thinks the world revolves around him.”
Eric moved closer to the fire and held his hands over the warmth. “He was raised with money. Isn’t that what you told me?”
“I wouldn’t define his parents as mega-wealthy, but his family was one of the more prosperous in town.”
“So he was spoiled?” Coty guessed.
Gia confirmed with a nod. “His parents still baby him.”
Eric cracked open another beer before sitting back down with his wife. “Surely there are people in your hometown you’d like to see.”
“My old friends and the people in my Banned Books Club.” She’d liked a lot of them, but it’d been seventeen years since high school and most had drifted away. She’d probably see those who remained—Ruth and Sammie at least.
“Coty’s been thinking about joining your club,” he said, once again slinging an arm around his wife.
“I’m always down for flipping off people who are trying to push their attitudes and opinions on others,” Coty said with a laugh. “What are you reading this month?”
“We’ve been picking from a list of books that were banned in the nineties, simply because there were so many back then. It was my turn this month, and I chose Cujo.”
“What’s that?” Eric said.
Gia chuckled. He’d never been a reader. “A horror novel by Stephen King.”
Tucking her feet underneath her, Coty leaned into her husband’s body. “And how’s that going for you?”
“It’s good. It’s about a dog who turns into a killer after being bitten by a rabid bat.”
“Not sure I’d find that interesting,” Coty said with a scowl.
“A killer dog’s not for everyone. But you can always start next month. We’ll be reading We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier.”
“What’s that about?”
“A gang of teenage boys who get into all kinds of trouble...”
“I bet that book’s going to be pretty disturbing,” she said, wrinkling her nose as if she wasn’t thrilled by that idea, either.
“Most banned books are pretty...something,” Gia said. “Scary. Thought-provoking. Challenging to the power paradigm—or the way things have always been. That’s why they get banned.”
Eric spoke up. “I read not too long ago that the Harry Potter books were banned.”
Gia considered opening another beer. The more she drank, the less she dreaded going home to Wakefield. Eric and Coty lived only a few blocks from her condo; she didn’t need to drive. But she decided against it. She wanted a clear head when she got back to her place so she could make her travel arrangements. “That’s right. In some places, anyway.”
“What could be wrong with Harry Potter?” Coty asked.
“Apparently, several exorcists weighed in,” she replied flippantly.
Coty looked confused. “Did you say exorcists?”
“I did. They recommended the books be taken off the shelves.” Gia grinned as she added, “Wizardry and magic are Satanic. Didn’t you know?”
Coty rolled her eyes. “You’ve got to be kidding me...”
“Nope. Now you understand why I started the group. Some of the books that have been denied were targeted for ridiculous reasons.”
“I love the way you’re willing to challenge authority,” she said.
Gia made a face. “My parents aren’t so excited about it. They never have been.”
“I bet.” Coty stared into the flames as she continued, “To be honest, I’m not sure I’d want Ingrid challenging authority. What I do is one thing. But what she does—”
“I’d be proud of her,” Eric broke in. “We might not always agree with the stances she takes, but there has to be someone willing to fight people who ban good books and do other stupid things.”
Coty didn’t look convinced. “But think of the backlash that goes with being the one to stand up and fight...”
“Maybe that’s what your parents were worried about,” Eric said to Gia. “The pain it might cause you to make yourself a target.”
Gia thought it was more about their desire to see her conform, to avoid making waves. They’d always wanted her to do what girls were “supposed” do to and quit drawing so much attention. But she didn’t want to go that deep tonight, so she simply said, “Maybe.”
Pulling his wife closer, Eric spoke over her head. “I hope you can finally resolve a few things.”
Gia doubted that was possible. She’d never been what her parents wanted. But, again, she didn’t care to explain. “That would be nice.”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about Backcountry Adventures while you’re gone,” he added encouragingly. “I’ve got that. And a lot has probably changed at home over the years—more than you realize. As hard as it will be to see your mother in such poor health, I bet this trip will be good for you.”
“I can’t imagine that.” As far as she knew, Mr. Hart, her old English teacher, still lived just a few houses down from her parents. And she’d be staying, possibly for weeks or months, in her old room.
Margot circled the airport again as she waited for her sister to emerge with her luggage. Gia’s flight had been delayed. At this rate, they’d be late getting home, which would put off dinner and create a more difficult evening with Sheldon. He’d been so agitated lately, so irritable. If she had to call him and ask him to leave work even a few minutes early, so he could pick up the boys, it would trigger a fight. Matthew and Greydon were each playing at a friend’s house, but she’d promised both mothers she’d return by six.
Growing more and more anxious, she pulled over to text Gia again. Earlier, when her sister sent a message to say she’d be getting in at four and Margot had arranged playdates so the boys wouldn’t have to sit in the car for two or three hours, she’d never dreamed she might not be able to make it back in time. The Sioux Gateway Airport was only fifty miles from Wakefield.
At least the plane had finally landed. That was the last she’d heard from her sister. Any sign of your luggage?
Just grabbed it, came Gia’s quick response.
Margot breathed a sigh of relief. I’ll be right there.
With a glance at the clock on the dash—it was 4:50 p.m., which meant she might make it back in time if they didn’t get behind a tractor or something else that would slow them down—she merged back into the flow of traffic streaming toward the terminal and began to search for the rather tall figure of her sister. Although Margot was only five foot two, Gia was five foot ten. They were opposites even in that.
Gia waved as soon as she spotted Margot’s Subaru, and Margot eased over one lane at a time until she could reach the curb.
“How was the flight?” she asked as soon as she’d flung open her door and hurried to release the hatch for Gia’s suitcase.
“Long and miserable,” Gia replied, giving her an obligatory hug before loading up. “Is any flight enjoyable these days?”
“Not since 9/11.” Margot slammed the hatch before returning to the driver’s seat.
“Thanks for picking me up,” Gia said as she climbed in.
“Of course. I’m glad you’re here.” Gia looked good, Margot realized. Much better than she did. These days when she peered into the mirror, all she saw was a tense, troubled expression and dark bags under her hazel eyes.
But Gia... Although summer was over and had been for several weeks, no one would be able to tell by looking at her. Her skin still held a warm glow, and her strawberry blond hair had lighter streaks going through it from all the time spent in the sun. The sprinkling of freckles across her nose made her appear younger than her thirty-five years. And she was well-toned with a broad, engaging smile.
Margot did what she could to be attractive, scrimping on the grocery budget to be able to get eyelash extensions and fake nails. Sheldon expected her to look good, even though he’d have a fit if he knew how much those appointments cost. Gia didn’t bother with that kind of enhancement. She was too much of a natural, outdoorsy person. She looked wholesome, healthy and strong.
She was strong. Always had been. Margot envied her forthright manner, the way she tackled any obstacle in her path and overcame it. It was a relief to have her in Wakefield. Margot couldn’t escape her situation without her sister being around to support their father and help care for their mother. She’d been trying to muddle through the way things were, at least until Ida’s death, as sad as that would be. But no one could predict when their mother might pass, and Margot couldn’t bear her current situation any longer.
Besides, maybe she’d be smarter not to wait. She was afraid Ida’s death would pile so much grief on top of what she was already dealing with that she wouldn’t be able to overcome it. Her mental health wasn’t what it used to be. Recognizing that and acting before it was too late to recover from the long downward spiral that’d begun shortly after the birth of her second and last child, when her marriage had really begun to fall apart, was the best she could do.
So far, she’d mostly lived her life for other people. It was time she grabbed hold and started living for herself. And with her sister here, she had a better chance of doing that. Gia would take on Sheldon, if she had to. Gia would take on anyone.
“Do Mom and Dad know that I’m coming?”
Margot looked over at her. “You didn’t call them?”
“I haven’t had time,” her sister replied vaguely.
“To place a call?”
“It’s only been two days since I agreed to come! I was in a hurry, trying to take care of things so I wouldn’t leave Eric in the lurch. I had to prepare my condo for the winter, pack my bags and get a ride to the airport in Spokane. Every time I thought about calling them, it was night, and then I was afraid they’d be in bed asleep. It’s an hour later here than in Idaho, you know.”
That was sheer avoidance, and Margot knew it, but she didn’t care. Reinforcements had arrived. That was all that mattered. “Why didn’t you have Eric fly you over?”
“Because it was a lot easier to catch a commercial flight. I didn’t want to take up his time when he’ll be filling in for me as it is. And our helicopter only flies three hundred miles on a tank of gas, which means he’d have to find several places to refuel.”
“Makes sense,” Margot said.
“So...do you think Mom and Dad are going to be upset having me drop in on them?”
“Of course not,” she replied. “I’m sure they’ve been wondering why you haven’t come home before now.”
Her sister grimaced. “You’d think they’d know.”
Margot gripped the steering wheel tighter. “What’s going on is bad enough, G,” she said in the same placating tone she had to use with Sheldon. “Can we just...leave the past in the past? Please?”
Gia shot her an aggrieved look. “I’m perfectly willing to do that. It’s them, not me.”
“Even if that’s normally true, their minds are on something else these days. And I, for one, am relieved to have you.”
Loosening her seat belt, Gia twisted to face her. “The question is why, Margot? Why were you so determined to have me come home right now? In less than a month, my business will be closed for the winter. You don’t think Mom’s going to make it that long?”
Margot wished she could tell Gia the truth, but she was afraid of what her sister would do if she learned what Sheldon had turned into. She had no doubt Gia would confront him. She didn’t know how to be anything but direct, and Margot couldn’t see where challenging Sheldon would end well. “Maybe not. That’s the problem. They need you.” She glanced over to see how her words were being received. “And so do I,” she added more softly.
Gia must’ve heard the honesty in her voice, or something else defused her sister’s antagonistic feelings, because she seemed resigned when she responded, “I can’t imagine any of you need me, especially you. You’ve always done everything right.”
It was true. Margot had gotten good grades, graduated from college and chosen a man her parents approved of—someone she’d known in high school and then dated in college. A lot of women had wanted Sheldon, but she was the “lucky” girl he’d chosen. So how was it that she found herself in a marriage that seemed to be burning down around her and felt so miserable and hopeless all the time? “Shows what you know,” she muttered.
“What does that mean?” Gia asked.
Margot checked the clock against her speedometer, and succumbed to the pressure she was feeling by giving the vehicle more gas. “Just...help me out by taking care of Mom and Dad for a while, okay? You have to admit it’s your turn.”
At least Gia had the good grace not to argue that point. Margot had done a lot more for their parents. She was the one who’d stuck around for the past seventeen years while Gia had run off on her wild adventures. “That’s what I’m here for,” her sister said matter-of-factly and straightened in her seat.
When they reached their parents’ house, Gia was surprised Margot didn’t want to come in and say hello. She stopped just long enough to let Gia grab her suitcase before tearing out of the drive. Gia knew she had to pick up the boys, but would being five minutes late be that big a deal?
Maybe Margot wanted to avoid the awkwardness Gia herself was dreading as she approached the sliding glass door that looked in on the addition her father had built when they were kids.
She could see her parents sitting at the table eating dinner as she reached for the door handle—and braced for the moment they saw her. Part of the reason she’d been putting off coming home was facing her mother’s illness. It was one thing to hear about what Ida was going through; it was another to look her in the face during these final months, weeks or days. The reality of the situation hit Gia like a right hook as she noticed her mother’s dramatic hair and weight loss. Ida had never been a big person, but to see her so diminished...
A lump rose in Gia’s throat, threatening to choke her. It didn’t matter how difficult and complicated their relationship had been; seeing her mother like this was even worse than she’d anticipated. She realized she’d been stoking the fire of her anger and resentment as a defense mechanism to ward off the pain of Ida’s illness—but by doing that, she’d abandoned her mother to face cancer without even the limited support she could give. A very brief trip now and then just wasn’t enough.
“Dammit,” she muttered, squeezing her eyes closed and hanging her head. Her sister was right. She was a terrible person, had let them all down—and it was because she couldn’t bear to see what was happening.
Her father glanced up and the next thing she knew he was walking toward the slider with a shocked expression on his face. “Gia?” she could hear him say through the door.
She yanked on the handle to open it and forced a smile. “Hi, Dad.”
“What are you doing here?”
The lump in her throat would not recede no matter how many times she swallowed. She blinked, trying to hold back the tears that were filling her eyes. “Just...decided to come home for the winter.”
“For the winter?” her mother echoed. Ida was moving more slowly, but she was now on her feet, as well, and coming to the door.
Gia had planned on saying she’d only be home for a week or two. She’d wanted to set their expectations low, so she’d have an escape if she needed it. But the sight of her parents, who’d aged more than she’d realized, and just the smell of home, had changed her mind. In that moment she knew she’d stand by her family until the bitter end, no matter what it cost her. “If you don’t mind me moving back into my old room,” she said with what she could manage by way of a chuckle.
She tensed as she waited for their response. There was a chance they wouldn’t want their lives disrupted at this vulnerable time. But her father seemed relieved to have her home. No doubt the past two years had been a nightmare for him, watching the slow demise of the woman he loved. Her mother just seemed grateful.
“Really?” Ida said. “Well, isn’t that nice! IfI never dreamed you’d be able to do that.”
“What about your business?” her father asked as a rapid follow-up.
Gia bent to pick up Miss Marple, her mother’s gray-and-white cat, who’d roused herself from a nap on the other end of the sofa to jump down and say hello. “Eric will cover the next few weeks. Then it’ll be closed for winter.”
“But your photography,” he said. “Last we heard you were going to Glacier National Park to take some photographs.”
She’d sent them some of her work, knew they both liked it. “Eric can do that on his own for now,” she said as she put Miss Marple back down. “He’s a great photographer.”
“That’s wonderful!” her father exclaimed. “Of course you can have your old room. It’s still filled with all the stuff you left behind. We haven’t touched it.”
Her mother felt like a bag of bones as Gia embraced her.
“Does that mean you’ll be here for Christmas?” she asked.
“It does,” Gia replied. The question was whether Ida would be there for Christmas.
“Come in.” Her father gestured toward the kitchen. “We’ve got dinner on the table. You want some spaghetti?”
The menu meant her father had cooked. Spaghetti had been his one and only dish when she was growing up. “Are you sure you have enough?”
“We have plenty,” he replied. “Your mother hardly eats these days.”
Again, Gia felt like crying. All the defenses she’d worked hard to erect had crumbled in an instant. Seeing her mother so frail and wasted was just too heartbreaking. The last six months especially had taken a toll. “Well, we’ll see what she thinks of some of the things I make.”
Suddenly moving with more energy, her mother hurried back into the kitchen to set another plate.
As Gia started to follow, her father caught her arm. “Thank you for coming,” he murmured, which made her hate herself all the more for not being there sooner.
“Of course,” she said, suddenly grateful to her sister for pressing her. “I’ll do whatever I can.”