Roan had a good reason to stay in his wolf form as Mace took him home. Being stopped with a naked man in the car wouldn’t do Mace’s reputation any favors, but now they were at Mace’s house, and the man was looking at him with such desperation. Roan knew he didn’t have any choice but to shift back at some point. It wasn’t an easy decision to make. There was something so comforting about being in his wolf form. He couldn’t talk, his facial expressions were easier to control, and yet Mace was human, and wouldn’t understand why he wouldn’t want to be human too. But maybe his mate understood more than Roan had imagined, because once they got inside the house, Mace sat on the couch and patted the space beside him.
“Come on,” he said. “I’m not going to worry about fur on the furniture. Let’s sit for a while.”
O-kay. Roan would be more than happy to clean it up if he did make a mess, but of course he couldn’t say so. He leaped onto the couch, like Mace suggested and cautiously laid his head on Mace’s knee. The man really did look exhausted, and Roan worried that he was working too hard. The hand landing on his head was warm and solid, and Roan let out a whimper. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed Mace’s touch until he felt it again. After all, they’d only been together for less than a day, but Roan reasoned to himself, it must be part of the mating pull.
“You had me worried sick, when you ran off like that,” Mace said. He wasn’t looking at Roan, because Roan checked and Mace’s head was resting on the back of the couch. But worried about him? Was that why Mace looked so tired? Roan had never had anyone who cared about him before.
“All of us, the pack, me and Trent, we must have spent freaking hours searching for you. Why the heck you didn’t go back to Dimitri’s house, or back here, I don’t know. But you aren’t going to tell me while you’re all furry either.” The hand on Roan’s head softly scratched behind his ears, and Roan tilted his head into Mace’s hand.
“I’m pretty sure the only reason you’re not shifting back is because you’re still upset with me. You know, putting my foot in my mouth is going to be a fairly common occurrence. It would be helpful if you were able to talk to me about what’s wrong, so I don’t do it again. This relationship business is so hard,” Mace let out a long sigh, but Roan barely noticed. He was too busy trying to picture Mace with his foot in his mouth. He wasn’t sure that was possible. Roan could do it, if he was in his wolf form, but that was because then he had four of them, but Mace was human. It was his curiosity about the statement that had him shifting on impulse.
Mace’s mouth was wide open, and Roan sat up, pulling a cushion over his groin. He couldn’t help the way he responded to his mate’s closeness. It was as natural as breathing. “Can you really do that?” He asked. “Put your foot in your mouth, I mean. I can’t do that in human form, only when I’ve got four feet. Can you show me? Does it hurt?”
Mace chortled, and then he laughed, his arm pulling Roan closer until Roan had no choice but to get up close and personal with Mace’s chest. Not that he was complaining. He was just happy that Mace seemed happy, and while he wasn’t sure what he’d said that was so funny, he appreciated the wondrous sound. “Oh my precious mate,” Mace said at last, his big hand wiping over his face. “I have to remember you take everything so literally. I didn’t mean I can actually put my foot in my mouth. It’s an expression. It means I’ve said something stupid, and believe me, I do that a lot.”
Roan didn’t think that was the case at all. Mace was a detective. People looked up to him and respected him. He helped people and to do that he’d have to be crazy smart. He opened his mouth to say so, but Mace kept right on talking.
“I said some careless things the other day. Words that you took to heart and they upset you enough that you ran off. I don’t want to lose you again; what I’m asking is that if I say or do something that you do take the wrong way, then please tell me, so I can fix it.”
“You said I was creepy. I don’t know what that means exactly but it didn’t sound good,” Roan said into Mace’s chest. It was easier than looking at his mate’s face. “You said you’d have been happier if I sat around all day watching television and eating takeout food. I told you I couldn’t work the remote and I didn’t have any money to order in food. I like cleaning and I wanted to cook for you, and you didn’t like it and I…and I….”
“I was embarrassed because I didn’t realize how messy the house was until after you’d cleaned it,” Mace said softly and Roan felt his head tilted up by a gentle finger until he was looking into Mace’s eyes. “I felt bad because I hadn’t thought about your needs while I was at work. I’d forgotten I didn’t have any food, and it made me feel uncomfortable when you were waiting on me while Trent was here. No one has ever done that for me before.”
“But what else am I supposed to do?” Roan felt his agitation rising and because of what Mace said he did nothing to stop it. He jumped up, pacing the floor, trying to get his words in some semblance of order. “Shane was telling me about options.” He flung his arms in the air. “What options? I can read and write and keep a household budget. I can cook and clean, and rub your back when it’s sore. I know how to run a bath to the perfect temperature so you don’t burn yourself and can work the coffee maker. But how does that translate to a job, or being useful. Shane told me about school, and college and being anything I want to be; what if I all I want to do is care for my mate and have him happy about it? I don’t understand any of this other stuff!”
Roan was yelling by the time he finished, and given that he didn’t think he’d ever yelled in his life, he knew he should feel something – embarrassed maybe. But then no. Because Mace said he should speak up about the things that upset him and damn it, Roan was upset. Not with Mace necessarily, but with himself, his fucked up life. How could he make his mate happy if the one thing he was capable of doing, Mace wasn’t interested in? Roan didn’t realize he was still pacing until he was stopped by his mountain of a mate. It was then that he remembered he was extremely naked and if the lump he felt against his stomach was what he thought it was, then there were some things Mace was still interested in even if he’d spoken out of turn.
“I’m sorry,” Mace said softly. “I never apologize to anyone, because I’m such a thug that I just say and do shit, and expect others to accept me. But with you, I am so sorry. I never realized how you felt. I didn’t understand how important looking after me was to you. Fuck. I suck at this mate thing, don’t I?”
“Who said you were a bad mate? You don’t suck at all,” Roan defended hotly. “You’re amazing, and you do a really hard job. You work long hours, and you care so much about keeping people safe, you don’t even have time to look after yourself. Who said that about you? I might only be an omega, but I’ll fight them; I’ll rip their throat out. They’ve got no right saying bad things about you.”
“Whoa there little killer,” Mace said quickly. “I said I was a bad mate. I left you here without any food or money, and then after all you did for me, I was rude about it to my friend. You’re not going to rip my throat out, are you?”
“Of course not,” Roan said tilting his head up so he could see Mace’s face. Mace would never be pretty – his face was too squared, his jaw bone was like granite and his eyes were like stone chips. He had hard lips and his nose had been broken at least once, but there was a sense of solidarity Roan knew he could trust in that face. Mace would always keep him safe. “We’re mates, I could never hurt you,” he continued. “And I’m sorry if I overstepped while I was here. But I’m not used to sitting around doing nothing by myself, and I was only trying to help.”
“I know that now,” Mace said, “and believe it or not, I do appreciate it. It’s just, if there are other things you’d like to try, like to do, then I want to help you achieve those things too.”
“I don’t know what those things are,” Roan said. “What use are options, if I haven’t got a clue what someone’s talking about? All I’ve ever known is a life of service. I was raised to look after people. Kalel was busy talking about movies, and dancing, and going out and all the things he does with Peter, but I’ve never done anything like that. And as for schooling, I thought I was too old. I’ve never been to school and I thought that was only for kids. I spent my childhood being trained. I cook. I clean. I used to try and make my masters happy so that I got fed and didn’t get beaten. I know you’d never do anything like that, and you’re my mate not my master; I do know the difference,” he added quickly, as he felt Mace’s arms tighten and his body go rigid. “But when you don’t know anything else, because that’s all you’ve had in your life, and then someone comes along suggesting you might want to do something else…” Roan snorted. “It’s not the dream Shane or Kalel make it out to be if I haven’t got a clue where to start.”
“Well, that’s something I can help you with and I will,” Mace promised and those stone chip eyes of his turned a light blue. “But in the meantime, you need something to eat, we both need a shower, and then I don’t know about you, but I could really do with some solid sleep in bed with you in my arms, where I know you’ll be safe.”
“Are you sure that’s all you want to do?” Roan surprised himself at his own daring as he rubbed his body across the hardness in Mace’s pants. Mace groaned and his eyes half closed.
“Yes, and no, and damn it, we’ll see. You shower. I’ll rustle up some snacks, and we’ll meet in bed. How does that sound?”
Roan wanted to ask for a kiss, but he hadn’t brushed his teeth in three days. He didn’t think his breath would be that pleasant. He settled for gently caressing Mace’s face, stunned that the warmth he could see in his mate’s expression could make him feel so complete. After spending three days thinking he’d never see it again, or his mate, it was a heady feeling. “I’ll be quick,” he said. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” Mace said quickly. “Now scoot into the shower and let’s get to the bed side of things. I’m not sure how much longer I can stand up.” Roan scurried up the stairs and into the shower. He was good at following orders after all. But as he worked conditioner through his tangled hair, he couldn’t help but wonder if Mace’d ever been the type of person who could admit his feelings easily. Somehow, he didn’t think that was the case.