Eve sauntered around the supermarket. The comforting aromas of freshly baked bread and fresh fruit and vegetables lifted her spirits. The smells reminded her of Aunt Mary’s house and how happy she had always been there. As she picked up a bag of lemons, she pictured the first lemon drizzle cake she’d made and the following culinary disasters that Jack had helped her to clean up. It seemed such a long time ago now.
She’d thought about ringing him again to try to find out what she’d said in her messages – all ten of them – but just the idea made her cringe. She’d recalled snippets of what she’d said and had flashbacks of emotions, but the Prosecco haze had, perhaps thankfully, kept most of her drunken messages from her.
Jack had sent her a brief text teasing her about no doubt having a hangover and to say that he hoped she was getting on okay and that Gabe sent his love. Eve had found it reassuring and was grateful that he hadn’t asked any questions, so she hadn’t felt under pressure to provide him with answers. That was typical of how thoughtful he was. He knew she needed some space to sort out her life, but he also clearly wanted her to know that she was still in his thoughts.
‘Well hello there!’ A sing-song voice snapped her out of her musing and a shiver ran down her spine.
I know who that is …
She turned slowly and took a deep breath.
‘Hello, Donovan.’
It was a school day and just gone one p.m. She shouldn’t be at risk of bumping into anyone from work. What was he doing out and about?
‘I didn’t expect to see you looking so well, Eve. My, my …’ He ran his eyes from her head to her feet and back again in such a way that Eve felt instantly uncomfortable.
‘I’m … I’m certainly feeling a bit better.’
‘Yesssss!’ He dragged out the sound between his teeth and Eve was reminded of a snake hissing. ‘Does this mean you’ll be joining us back at school soon? Tomorrow, perhaps?’ He ran a finger over one perfectly groomed brow, then rested his hands on his hips.
‘Not yet, no.’ Eve felt perspiration pop out on her upper lip and her heart began to thud.
‘Not yet? Oh but Eve, we all miss you so much.’ The way he said it made Eve certain that he didn’t miss her at all, and that he was in fact enjoying her absence immensely.
‘Well that’s nice to hear. I will be back … after half-term.’
‘Right!’ He snapped his fingers and Eve jumped. ‘But much as we want you back, are you sure you should risk it? After that rather unfortunate little incident.’ He lowered his gaze and shook his head as if remembering the details of Eve’s projectile vomiting.
Something about his tone and his smug expression made Eve’s blood boil. She knew she should contain her feelings, that she should filter her words before her anger burst forth, but she couldn’t; it was just too powerful. ‘Now look, you weaselly little maggot! I’ve just about had it with you and your sodding snaky ways. How dare you stand there and look down your pointy nose at me!’
‘Wha—’ He raised his hands in alarm, but Eve cut him off.
‘No! Oh no you don’t, Donovan! I’ve had an absolute gutful of you being such a sly worm. Always sneaking around behind my back trying to find some dirt on me or Amanda, putting me down in front of the governors and staff. All I have ever done is strive to do my job and do it well. I’m not bloody perfect. Believe me, I know that very well.’ She paused to take a deep breath, and out of the corner of her eye saw that she’d attracted a small audience of shoppers and supermarket staff, but she was too angry to care. ‘But I am a human being, and although I love my job, I am not made of steel!’ Her voice broke on the last word and she gasped as she tried to fill her lungs.
‘Eve!’ Donovan squealed as he waved his hands either side of his blotchy face. ‘Oh my God, I’m so sorry.’
‘Are you, though?’ She gulped down air then took a step towards him. ‘Are you really? I know you’re ambitious and I know that your job means the world to you. You’re not a bad teacher, far from it, but you are still quite inexperienced, and believe me, in teaching, experience counts for a lot. You’ve climbed the ladder quickly, and good on you for that, but you mustn’t forget that you still have a lot to learn. I never forget that, Donovan, and if I had any intention of staying in teaching then I would remind myself of it every day.’
Donovan stared at her, his mouth opening and closing like a landed fish. ‘You’re not staying in teaching?’
‘What?’ Eve frowned at him.
‘You just said that if you had any intention of staying in teaching—’
‘Oh shit!’ Eve covered her mouth. So she had! As she’d vented her long-building frustration with her assistant head, her inner decision had been released.
‘Do other people think I’m a snake?’ Donovan asked, hanging his head and toeing the speckled supermarket floor with a shiny loafer. She noticed how the gel in his hair had turned white and how some of the strands clung together in a sticky clump.
‘Sorry? What?’
‘You said I’m snaky. I never wanted to be snaky. I just thought I was being kind of … clever. You know … Machiavellian.’ His cheeks reddened and Eve started to giggle.
‘Oh Donovan, really?’
‘Honestly. I was just trying to get on. Playing the game, as one of my heads of department once told me. I just want to do well, Eve. Like you.’
Eve stared hard at him, seeing for the first time exactly how young he actually was. While she was in head teacher mode, which she was fast recognizing as her battle mode, she saw practically everyone as some sort of threat. Poor Donovan had been one of those threats, and rather than being brutally honest with him about his behaviour, and trying to guide him, she’d let him carry on while resenting him. As his line manager, she hadn’t been fair at all. He needed nurturing, not resentment and the cold shoulder of authority.
‘Donovan, do you want to grab a coffee?’
The gratitude that flashed over his face made Eve feel even guiltier. ‘That would be great, thanks. I only have about half an hour, though. I came to order a cake for Sandra.’
‘You did?’
‘Yeah. She had her baby.’
Eve smiled. ‘Everything okay with them?’
He nodded. ‘A healthy girl. Mother and baby doing well.’
‘Oh that’s great news,’ Eve said as they entered the store cafe and went to the counter.
‘Eve, are you really going to quit? I just can’t imagine the school without you there.’
‘Oh Donovan,’ she replied as she handed him a mug of coffee and went to pay, ‘I just can’t imagine being there any more. So yes, I’m going to resign. But first let me tell you a few things I’ve learnt along the way, and who knows? You could be the next super head teacher to make the local news.’
Eve stood in front of the postbox.
What she was about to do would alter the course of her life forever.
It was an enormous decision to make.
But it was the right one. She was certain of that now.
She ran a finger over Amanda’s name, then over the school address. She could have gone to see Amanda and given her the resignation letter in person, but she’d worried that her friend might try to dissuade her, or delay her, and she knew she wouldn’t be free until she did this.
Of course, this was just the start of proceedings; she’d have to negotiate with the school a way of working out her notice. But she suspected they’d be able to sort something out for her, some sort of flexi working plan, to run down her time as head teacher.
She raised the letter to the opening in the red postbox that reminded her of an open mouth just waiting to swallow up her past. Her hand was steady; no trembling at all.
‘See. It’s the right thing to do,’ she said out loud. Then she pushed the letter through the slot and heard it land on top of other post.
She dusted off her hands and walked away.
It was a beautiful summer morning. Flowers bloomed in gardens and someone was mowing their lawn. When she reached her house, she stopped and stared at the For Sale sign that stood proudly in the front garden. She’d given the estate agent the keys so she could show interested parties around in her absence, and now that Darryl had taken his things and removed a lot of their unwanted possessions, the house had a showroom feel to it: a blank canvas just waiting for its new owners.
She unlocked the front door and entered, conscious of how her footsteps echoed in the empty hallway. She’d scrubbed the house thoroughly and everything shone; there wasn’t an empty wine bottle, takeaway carton or pair of pants hanging from a cupboard door handle to be seen.
The house really was just a house now. It needed a family; then it could become a home.
As for Eve, she was heading to her home.
Home to Conwenna Cove.
Home to Aunt Mary.
And home to find out if Jack felt the same way as she did.
Her stomach fizzed with excitement and she placed a hand over it. She couldn’t allow herself to get too far ahead. He might have decided that she was too crazy, too neurotic, too needy … hell, too much of everything for him.
But she had to find out. She had learnt that recently; that honesty was best, whether with yourself or with those around you. Even if it wasn’t always the easiest route.