When Mom got home from the library, I was lying on the couch thinking about Melissa’s visit.

“What’s in the brown paper bag?” she asked.

“My costume for Pioneer Days.”

Mom stopped unbuttoning her coat. Her fingers wrapped around the second button. “Did Sam bring it?”

I understood what she didn’t say. She didn’t want me to be alone with Sam. “Melissa brought the costume. She was by herself.”

Mom’s breath came out in a relieved whoosh, and she finished unbuttoning her coat. “Put the costume on. You can model it while I make dinner.”

“It’s nothing special.”

“Put it on,” Mom insisted.

“Okay, okay. I will.” It was easier to do it her way than to argue.

While I got dressed, the phone rang. I put my ear against the bedroom door. It was Dad. I could tell by the tone of Mom’s voice. She sounded overly polite and extra cheerful.

“I’m glad you called. How are you doing?”

I didn’t understand how she could cut him so much slack. He had walked out on us. End. Of. Story.

Mom answered questions about her work in the library. She told him both her parents were doing well.

Finally, they got around to discussing me. “Things are about the same,” Mom said. “Allie is unhappy, and she’s blaming me for her misery.”

I couldn’t help but blame her. My crush on Sam should have been fun and exciting, but she had ruined the whole experience, with some help from Sam’s mom.

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Mom said. “I could use the help.” She paused, and I wondered what Dad was saying on the other end of the line. “John, there’s no need for you to get a hotel. The house Allie and I are renting has a guest room.”

Here. Dad was coming here. Maybe now he and Mom would finally get back together!

A couple days later, Dad was waiting for me when I got home from school. “Hi, Allison.”

“Hi.” I wanted to hug him, but I didn’t. “Don’t call me Allison. It’s Allie now.”

“Still mad at me, huh?”

I shrugged.

“Let’s take a walk,” Dad suggested. “You can show me the town.”

“It’s small. Not much to see.”

Dad ignored my attitude. “We should leave a note for your mom.” He walked into the kitchen and rummaged through the drawers.

“Just write it on the blackboard over by the cabinets.”

I waited while Dad zipped up his coat, and then we were on our way. I acted like a polite tour guide, pointing out all the places that were important to Mom and me: Daniel Boone Middle School, the Methodist church, and the library. I lingered in front of Scott’s Drug Store. “Can we get a cherry coke?”

“Sure, that sounds good. I know they’re your favorite.”

Dad took his time checking out the red vinyl seats and looking at the menu. “This place is a real throwback to the fifties. How about french fries?”

“Okay.”

Dad reached into his pocket for a couple of quarters. “Want to play some music on the jukebox?”

I was glad for a reason to leave the table. I played “All I Have to Do Is Dream” by the Everly Brothers. It was Mom and Dad’s favorite song from when they were in college.

“Ouch,” Dad said. “That one brings back good memories.”

That’s exactly what I’d intended. I crossed my fingers.

Slurping our Cokes was easier than talking to each other. I wished the iceberg between us could melt as fast as the ice in my glass.

Dad finished his Coke and fished out a maraschino cherry with his straw. “I’ve been angry … and … and depressed since Eric died. I won’t make excuses, but somehow I took it out on your mom.”

I stared down into my glass. “Mom wasn’t always nice to you either.”

“No. No, she wasn’t.”

“Are you two getting back together?” My words were rushed, quick and hopeful. We could never have Eric back, but the rest of us could still be a family.

Dad shook his head and looked away from me. “I do have some good news, though. At least I hope you’ll think it’s good.”

I stared at him and waited. Anything he said would be short of what I really wanted.

“I got a job transfer. My new sales territory will be the Southeast. I’m looking for a place nearby so I can spend more time with you.”

“But what about Mom?”

Dad sighed. “It was a joint decision, Allie. We’re better off apart, but you need us both.”

“I need you living together in the same house.”

Dad shook his head. “What you really want is the life we had before Eric died. Honey, no matter how hard we try, neither your mom nor I can give that back to you.”

I knew he was right, but it was so hard to let my dreams go.

Dad reached for a napkin and wiped his watery eyes. “Remember how it was toward the end between your mom and me? Think about the fights, the crying and yelling.”

I didn’t want to go through that again. Nobody would.

The waitress bustled over and slid a platter of french fries between us. I dunked a couple of them in ketchup and thought about the stuff Dad had said. His knee was jerking under the table. I guess he was anxious too.

“I love you, Allie. More than anything.”

Dad wouldn’t be going to all this trouble if I didn’t matter to him.

“Well, what do you think?” he asked nervously.

“The french fries are delicious.”

Dad grinned and pointed one at me. “I mean about my move.”

I knew what he meant. “It’s not as perfect as if you lived with Mom and me, but it’s still good.”

“That sounds like my girl,” Dad said. “I’ve missed her.”

That me had disappeared the night Eric died. I had missed her too.