After Sam walked away, I stared down at the carved horse. Just looking at it made me cry. I used my shoulder and hurled it like a baseball pitcher, far, far into the woods. I tried telling myself this was for the best, that if Sam’s parents knew, it would be a disaster. Even so, I was miserable. A lonely ache squeezed my heart.

I stared into the woods for a long time. Finally, I went back to the fair. I washed my face in the community center bathroom. I practiced fake smiling in the mirror. Like when Eric died, nobody could see the pain inside. I checked my wristwatch. It was almost time for Sam to compete in the Egg and Spoon class.

Webb and Phoebe were waiting for me in front of the bleachers.

“What took you so long?” Webb asked. “I was afraid you’d miss the show.”

“Just looking around. I love all the costumes!”

“They are pretty great.”

“Have you ever watched an Egg and Spoon competition?” Phoebe asked.

“Not a real one, but I did help Sam practice.”

“I’ve been helping her practice too. She’s even better than last year.”

Sam probably did like Phoebe more than me, and if she didn’t, she probably would soon.

The horses and riders entered the ring. I tried not to look at Sam, but I couldn’t help it. She was handsome in her Western clothes.

The class started out slow. The horses walked while each of the ten riders balanced an egg in a spoon. On the second time around the ring, the first rider dropped her egg. “It’s harder than it looks,” Phoebe said. “Sam let me try.”

Sam had never offered me that chance. Never.

The announcer called for a trot. Sam and the other riders bobbed in their saddles. It didn’t take long before two more riders dropped their eggs.

“Lope your horses,” the announcer called. The horses picked up speed. They made it around the ring once, and then three more riders dropped their eggs. Plop, plop, plop.

“Only four riders left,” Webb said. “I bet Sam will take home another blue ribbon.”

I hoped so. Sam deserved something good to happen.

“Reverse,” the announcer called. The riders turned their horses and rode counterclockwise around the ring. I couldn’t stop staring at Sam. She glanced in my direction, and that’s when her egg fell.

The disappointment on Sam’s face made a noose around my heart and squeezed.

“Her concentration was off,” Webb said. “Sam was looking in the stands instead of paying attention.”

It was all my fault.

“She’ll still get a white ribbon for fourth place,” Phoebe said.

But Sam hadn’t been practicing all those weeks for fourth place. I didn’t care what happened after that, but we stayed until the class was over. We watched Sam accept the white ribbon, and then the yellow, red, and blue ribbons were handed out.

“I’m starved,” Webb said. “How about we walk over to Main Street, grab a ham biscuit, and listen to the Battle of the Bands?”

“You two go ahead,” Phoebe said. “I’m gonna stay and talk to Sam.”

I followed Webb because I was the last person in the world Sam wanted to see. I had ruined everything.

The square dancing started at eight o’clock. All of the display tables had been cleared away, and the community center doors were thrown open wide.

“The music here is always stupendous,” Webb said.

A tall, mustached man played the banjo, and a pretty woman with long flowing hair played the fiddle.

“I’m a fan of all genres, from classical to country. If it has a beat, I’ll dance to it,” Webb said. He held out his hand. “Ready?”

“Not yet. Could we get something to drink first?”

“Stupendous idea,” Webb said. “I’ll get us some apple cider.”

That gave me time to look around. Mom was having a deep conversation with Reverend Walker. I could tell by the serious look on her face. Melissa was with her boyfriend again, and Sam’s mom was helping at the refreshments table.

While I sipped my cider, Webb tapped his foot to the music. Mr. Johnson called, “Pick up your partner, and whirl her around.” I remembered the afternoon I had danced with Sam. We had been so nervous, but it had been perfect.

The next song was played to the tune of “Skip to My Lou.” I let Webb lead me onto the dance floor. We whirled and twirled, around and around. When the music stopped, I got my first look at Sam. She was dancing with Jonathan, but she wasn’t smiling.

Between songs, Phoebe asked me if she could dance with Webb. “I really like to dance, but since I don’t have a date, I could be waiting all night for somebody to ask me.”

“Sure, go ahead.” She’d actually be doing me a favor, but I kept that part to myself. “Hey, is Sam really upset about finishing fourth?”

“Not about fourth. She’s mad about not doing her best.”

I shouldn’t have been staring at Sam, but I couldn’t help it.

While Phoebe and Webb danced, Mom trudged over.

“I’m sorry about this morning.”

I shrugged.

“You don’t look happy tonight.”

She had finally looked deeper. I was miserable, but it was hard to find the right words to tell her exactly how miserable. I remembered my conversation with Dwayne. Sam is about my favorite person around here.

Mine too.

Then tell your mom that.

Why did speaking up have to be so hard?

Mom touched my arm. “To be completely honest, you haven’t looked happy in a while.”

I had a lump in my throat the size of New Jersey. “Yeah.” Ribbit, ribbit. “I saw you talking to Reverend Walker.”

“She told me you stopped by this morning. She would never betray your trust, though.”

I looked past Mom at Sam and Jonathan.

Mom turned to see what had my attention.

“You still like her, don’t you?”

If I answered yes, it would hurt Mom, but if I said no, it would be a lie. Reverend Walker had said God didn’t want me to live a lie. “Being with Sam makes me happy.”

Mom’s eyes got teary. “It’s okay with me, Allie. Truly. It will just take some getting used to.” She wiped her eyes with her fingers. “Sam’s leaving. You’d better go.”

“I can’t. I’m here with Webb.”

“I’ll tell him you had to leave. He and Phoebe make a cute couple.”

“Really?”

Mom nodded. “Really. What I want most of all is for you to be happy, Allie. I love you.”

“I love you too!” And that was the truth. No matter how many times we all messed up, we were still a family: Dad, Mom, Eric, and me. Not even death or divorce could change that.

I pushed and shoved my way through the crowd. “Sam, Sam,” I called.

She couldn’t hear me over the music and the noise.

Dwayne tried to talk to me, but I didn’t stop moving. “Not now, Big D.”

Reverend Walker waved me over, but I only waved back and kept pushing.

When I finally got to where Sam had been, she was gone. My heart fell flat, like a cherry coke with no fizz, but only for a second. I would find Sam if it took all night. I had to!