For Easter, we went to church with school. It was called a children’s service, and Matti and Leila, the ministers, and Niina, from the youth group, acted the parts of the disciples and the women at Jesus’ tomb. I know Easter is because Jesus died on the cross but for some reason, they tried to avoid talking about that in the children’s service.
I was already interested in the crucifixion, because I had never really understood it. I waited for the play to get to the part about Jesus’ arrest. Leila the minister and Niina from the youth group were grieving disciples. But then all that happened was that we were told there was a thunderclap, a curtain was torn and darkness fell. In the next scene it was morning, Jesus’ tomb was empty and everyone was happy.
I wanted someone to explain how you can die of nails going through your hands and feet. Sometimes a whole hand or foot can work itself loose and the person still doesn’t die.
But maybe grown-ups don’t like talking about death, even though they’re going to die themselves. When you eat, you grow, and when you become an adult, you die.
Sometimes a person dies easily; sometimes the hard way. Mum and Jesus died easily: Mum in the middle of ordinary gardening jobs, and Jesus from four nails. Those are the sorts of deaths grown-ups don’t want to talk about.
What Matti the minister was able to explain was why they wanted to kill Jesus. They wanted to stop him from getting more disciples. When Jesus spoke, he grew and slithered like wires inside a wall, and they didn’t like it. And so they stopped Jesus by nailing him to a cross. That’s how Easter came about. That’s why everything grows at Easter. The minister dresses in green, and you plant ryegrass in yogurt pots, even though Jesus just died. People eat yogurt and their bones and muscles grow, and in the picture on the milk carton, a strong girl carries her little brother.
On Easter morning, I said to Mum and Dad that I didn’t want to eat, because then you grow up and die. Mum said, ‘You’ll grow in any case. But if you don’t eat, you’ll become an angry grown-up.’
I was annoyed, though. Why hadn’t anybody drawn death on the side of the milk carton?