Nikki was doing laundry the next morning trying to decide how she really felt about having a brother and whether she’d be dishonoring Quint if she decided that she liked Lucas. Lucas had stepped in to fill a void in her dad’s heart not long after Quint had died, and Don had thought Nikki had forsaken him forever. She was jealous of that, even if it wasn’t right. Lucas had had a mama and a stepdad who evidently loved him enough to see to it that he had an education and followed his dreams. She and Quint had had to pretty much fend for themselves.
It’s not his fault, Quint said softly in her mind. Don’t ever blame Lucas for what we didn’t have. And don’t be afraid to let Tag into your life. Not just for a night or a week, or even for a year. Open up your heart and let love into it.
“I made a mistake the last time I did that. The guy was married,” she said as she made a round through the bedroom and back to the kitchen.
Don’t judge Tag by his past or by some other bastard.
Nikki giggled. “You said a dirty word. Mama would have a fit. God, my head hurts.” She cupped her cheeks with her hands and rubbed her temples with her fingertips. If she couldn’t get these roller-coaster emotions settled before she went to work the next night, maybe Rosemary could give her some advice. Emily had met Wilma only once. Rosemary had known her all her life, so she’d understand what Nikki was facing. If she could just put one thing to bed forever that night, it would be the absolute fear that she’d become like Wilma and be a burden to Tag. Maybe she should make a trip to Sunset tomorrow before she went to work and talk to the ladies of the Fab Five. None of them had been married, but they were pretty sage in their advice.
While the wash cycle ran, she stretched out on the sofa and fell asleep. She dreamed that she and Tag were naked in the bed at the cabin when a tornado ripped through the county. They barely made it into the tiny bathroom and were huddled together in the shower that was so small it made one person feel crowded. Tag’s arms were around her when the cabin’s roof was suddenly ripped off, and she could feel the vacuum inside the vortex of the tornado sucking her away from him. She held on as tight as she could, but the force of nature finally pulled her away from him. She awoke flailing her arms and hanging on to a throw pillow.
Her hands hit Goldie’s fishbowl and sent it flying across the room and upended against the wall. When she realized what she’d done, she ran across the room and chased the poor flopping fish all over the floor before she finally got her in her hands. She ran to the kitchen, put her in a bowl, and ran water straight from the tap, hoping that it was the right temperature and wouldn’t kill the thing.
“There, there, now, you’re going to be all right. It was time to clean your bowl anyway. Just swim around in there until I can get my heart to settle down, gather the pieces, and clean up your bowl. Thank God it didn’t break.” Nikki talked to the fish in the same tone she used for Sue Ann and her other patients.
She could hear Wilma’s voice in her head as she scraped up the rocks from the carpet and put them back into the bowl. That’s why you can’t have a pet. You’re not responsible enough to take care of one properly. Now look at this mess you’ve made. I’ll probably step on those sharp rocks and get sepsis in my foot. When I’m dead and in my casket, you’ll wish you’d have taken better care of me.
Nikki had heard those words so many times that it wasn’t even surprising that they came back to haunt her that morning. Would she ever say something like that, even in anger, at her child?
“Hell no!” she said aloud, answering her own question, just as the doorbell rang.
She peeked out the peephole to see her father standing there on the tiny landing. She opened the door and said, “Daddy?”
“Is it a bad time? After I rang the bell, I figured I should have called first. I shouldn’t just drop in like this.”
“Come on in. Watch your step. I just knocked over the fishbowl and haven’t cleaned up the mess yet,” she said.
“I’ll help,” Don said. “Where do you keep the vacuum?”
“In that closet.” She pointed. “But you don’t have to…”
“I want to,” he said as he headed into the kitchen. “I see your faucet is dripping. I could fix that, too, while I’m here. I carry wrenches in the car.”
“Did you come here to fix all my problems?” she asked.
“I wish I could do that, honey,” he sighed. “I came so we could visit without Lucas and Tag. I wanted to talk to you, just the two of us. But I don’t mind helping with whatever you need while I’m here.” He pulled the vacuum out into the living room floor and quickly cleaned up all the rocks.
When the machine was back in the closet, he asked, “Mind if we both sit down for a visit?”
“I’m sorry, Daddy. Yes, please sit. Can I make you a cup of coffee? Get you a glass of sweet tea?”
“I’m good for now.” He sat down on the sofa.
She took a place beside him. “Okay, I’ll go first. It’s going to be tough to accept Lucas. Quint wouldn’t want me to be that way, but…”
He covered her hand with his. “It’ll take time. It did for me. I’m having trouble accepting Tag. Sounds like he’s kind of a daredevil, riding bulls and wanting to go skydiving. And to tell the truth, I’m having a terrible time thinking of you in a relationship. To me, you’re still fourteen.”
“And to me, it’s just days after Quint died, and you’re coming home for the weekend,” she said.
Don patted her hand. “I guess time stood still at the same time it moved ahead with warp speed, didn’t it? If you’ll give Lucas a chance, I’ll be more open-minded about Tag. Deal?”
“Deal,” she said. “Now how about a beer? I could sure use one.”
Don shook his head slowly. “I’d love one. It’s still hard to see my little girl with a wineglass in her hands or think about her drinking a beer.”
“Your little girl isn’t so little anymore, Daddy.” She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll get those beers.”
Tag reached for Nikki when he awoke on Friday morning, but all he got was a pillow. He threw it across the room, hit the end of the sofa, and woke Red. The dog jumped up and started barking.
“It’s okay, boy,” he said as he flipped the covers back and, holding on to furniture for balance, hopped to the door and let the dog outside. “You probably need to get out for a minute anyway, but I’ll prop the door with my boot so you can come back to eat when you’re done.”
Red scampered out and back in before Tag could get dressed in pajama pants and pick up his crutches. “I hate this toe stuff worse than the stitches in my jaw,” he muttered as he headed toward the kitchen area to make coffee.
The puppy came back into the house and jumped around in excitement wanting to be fed, and Tag almost tripped over him. “Okay, okay, give me a minute. This feller needs his coffee since his lady isn’t here to brighten his morning.”
Maverick came into the cabin without knocking. “Where’s Nikki? Her car isn’t out there. Did you ruin things with her?”
“Good morning,” Tag said. “Nikki needed some time to sort out her feelings after seeing her father. I hope to hell I didn’t ruin anything.”
“I brought over a whole envelope full of papers that Hud found on the top of the refrigerator that needs to be put into the computer. Don’t shoot the messenger, but you could give him a cup of coffee.” Maverick put the envelope on the top of the microwave.
Tag motioned toward the kitchen table. “Have a seat. It’ll be done in a few minutes, and I won’t shoot you this morning. I’ll get to those papers eventually, but today I’m going to straighten up the tack room in the barn. I can do that with one crutch, and I feel the need to do something physical.”
“To keep your mind off Nikki, right?” Maverick pulled out two chairs and sat down in one. “What happened last night?”
Tag told him about what had happened when they went to see her father. “It had to be overwhelming for her because it was for me. It was the first time I’d met any girl’s father. I’ve seen Nikki’s mother at church, and we ran into her that time in Walmart, but that’s not like actually meeting her.”
“And what’d you think of her father and her brother?” Maverick pushed the chair back and poured two large mugs of coffee.
“Thank you.” Tag blew on the top and took a sip. “I liked them both. They seemed honest and genuine.”
“So you’re wonderin’ about your past? If you’re really settling into this lifestyle? Or if you’ll go back to being a rebel?”
“Yep, that’s exactly it,” Tag admitted.
“Are you missin’ your old way of life?” Maverick asked.
Tag thought about it for a minute and then shook his head. “No, I like where I am now with Nikki, and I like sharing the ranch with y’all. I don’t think I ever want to go back, but how can I convince Nikki of that?”
“You can’t. You have to continue to keep living every day without doin’ crazy stuff that will get you killed and show her, not tell her. All the talk in the world is worthless if you don’t have the deeds to back it up,” Maverick said.
“You speakin’ from experience?” Tag asked.
“My heart was broken last year when Paxton and I went to Ireland with our Mam. It was love at first sight for me. Her name was Bridget. We had a month together, roaming the green hills of Ireland. I didn’t ask her to come with me to America because I didn’t feel like I was good enough for her. That was a big mistake not to let her choose. Now she’s over there with my heart, so how could I ever give it to another woman?”
“You never told me that before,” Tag said. “And you could call her or talk to her, even if she is over there and you’re here.”
“I tried that. It didn’t work. Her phone number had been changed,” he said. “We sound like a couple of old women talkin’ like this.” Maverick went back to the cabinet and brought the coffeepot to the table. “We’ll have another cup and then you can give me a ride to the barn.”
“I’m very serious. I’m getting cabin fever. I can clean it without a boot on my foot,” he said.
“We’ve got a rodeo tonight and we’re going to the Rusty Spur tomorrow night. You ain’t much of a dancer right now, but you can sit at the bar and draw in the women like flies to a honey pot and then turn them over to us,” Maverick teased.
“Y’all don’t need my help, but I’ll think about it,” Tag said.
“Mam would say that you’ve done got moonstruck, my friend,” Maverick said. “Never knew you to turn down a night in a bar, and this is not your first rodeo on crutches.”
“Your grandma might be right.” Tag hopped over and took his jeans and a work shirt from a dresser drawer.
“Mam also told me that if you can’t tell a girl that you love her in six months, you should move on and not waste any time for either of you,” Maverick said.
“Did you tell Bridget that you loved her?” Tag tugged a knit shirt over his head.
“No, I didn’t and that was a mistake for sure. I thought it should be six months so I didn’t say the words. But when we got home and I was moping around like a lovesick puppy, Mam told me that I hadn’t showed my Irish blood one bit, and she was disappointed in me. She said when everything clicks with a woman, then there will be no doubt in your mind. It will overtake you like a web around a cocoon. It will calm you. And it will inspire you. I lost my Bridget. Don’t you make the same mistake.”
“It’s only been a month for me and Nikki.” Tag removed his pajama pants, tossed them on the bed, and pulled on his jeans.
“Ask yourself if it’s clicking and if you are calm, and if she’s inspired you to be a better man. I’m going to finish my coffee while you finish getting dressed, and then we’ll go to work. Sometimes hard work is better than a therapy session. When you’re working with your hands, your mind can figure things out,” Maverick said.
“Amen.” Tag shoved one foot into a cowboy boot and the other into a sneaker. “Let’s go to work.”