The 3rd Principle of RELENTLESS: Relentless AMBITION and GOAL-SETTING
“It took me twelve years to turn my dream of becoming Jimmy The Greek into a reality. It took sixteen years to sell my first television show to Hollywood. It took eighteen years of relentless plotting and planning to realize my dream of seeing my daughter Dakota accepted into Harvard and Stanford. Dreams take time. You’d better be relentless!”
—Wayne Allyn Root
What are you aiming for?
I’m a firm believer in aiming for the stars. There’s no point aiming for something “normal” or average. Why aim to have just enough money to “get by”? Why not aim insanely high? Why not aim for the stars? If you miss, you still might land in Beverly Hills. If you aim for the curb and miss, you might wind up in . . . Detroit.
Take my career. I didn’t aim for town council. I aimed for President of the United States, and wound up on a presidential ticket. I didn’t aim for a local radio show. I aimed for national TV, and wound up a host of five shows on CNBC. I didn’t aim for being like Jimmy The Greek on some local cable access show. I aimed to replace Jimmy The Greek on national TV . . . and I did. I didn’t aim to self-publish an e-book. I aimed to write a national bestseller . . . and I did. I didn’t teach my daughter to aim for a local community college. I taught her to aim for Harvard and Stanford . . . as a homeschooler. How ridiculous. How absurd. What audacity! Yet she was accepted at both.
If you’re going to aim at something, be optimistic about something, fight relentlessly for something—be sure it’s worth fighting for! Be sure you’re aiming for the top, the highest rung in your industry, the pinnacle.
I’ve never aspired to be in the mafia. But if I did, I’d have aimed to replace John Gotti. I’ve never belonged to a union. But if I did, I’d aim to become a modern-day Jimmy Hoffa. I’ve never aimed to become a police officer, but if I did I’d aim to become police chief of New York City. That’s ambition, drive, cajones, balls, chutzpah.
As Charlie Sheen might say . . . the point is “WINNING!”
The key to where you end up is where you aim. No, not everyone will become #1 in their field. Lord knows I’m not. I didn’t become president. But I did win the Libertarian vice presidential nomination. I’m not a billionaire business mogul, at least not yet. But, I did become a self-made millionaire by age twenty-nine, with a home on the beach in Malibu. I don’t host my own show on Fox News. But I am a regular guest on hundreds of political TV and talk radio shows, as well as a bestselling political author. Without the audacity to aim for the stars, I might be stuck in an apartment in Detroit, rather than a mansion in Las Vegas.
How did I make it this far? Relentless AMBITION and GOAL-SETTING.
HOMESCHOOL TO HARVARD
I call this story “Homeschool to Harvard.” It’s the story of my remarkable superstar daughter Dakota Root. This story may be more impossible than even becoming an anchorman at CNBC without any prior experience.
There is nothing that requires The Power of RELENTLESS more than raising a child from birth through college . . . and doing it right! But this story is over the top. My daughter Dakota was homeschooled her entire life. She sat in the first classroom of her life in the hallowed halls of Harvard.
Dakota scored perfect SAT scores in reading and writing. She was a National Merit Scholar and Presidential Scholar nominee. She was accepted by many of this nation’s finest universities including Harvard, Stanford, Duke, Columbia, Penn, Brown, Chicago, Virginia, and Cal-Berkeley. She actually had the confidence to turn down an early admissions offer from Yale—the offer came from the Yale fencing coach—before she had gotten any of her other acceptances. My kid turned down Yale cold! I must tell you, Mr. Relentless himself thought she might be out of her mind.
What was her reason for turning down one of the five best colleges in the world before she knew if any other college would take her? Her heart was set on Harvard. It was her #1 choice, and she reminded me that her dad taught her to be relentless in pursuit of #1, never settle for #2. You could have knocked me over with a feather. The kid out-relentlessed her old man!
Dakota went on not just to graduate from Harvard, but to conquer Harvard! She graduated right at the top of her class, magna cum laude, as well as earning “first class” honors at Oxford University in England, signifying she was in the top 5 percent of her class during her time there. Her senior thesis at Harvard was on the legality of NSA surveillance on the American people. After Harvard she was accepted at Cambridge for her master’s degree, but turned them down, at least temporarily. Dakota decided to take a year off to teach yoga around Europe. As I write this, she is teaching yoga at a spa in the south of France. The Power of RELENTLESS leads to quite a life.
There is just one more thing a proud father wants to share about his oldest daughter. Dakota is both a scholar and an athlete. As a high school senior she won the Pacific Coast Fencing Championship and fenced in the Junior Olympics and Nationals. She represented the U.S.A. at World Cup events all over the world. Fencing for the elite Harvard team, she earned Second Team All-Ivy honors. I take credit for raising her to be relentless, but she made it happen.
She is the complete package! I am proud to say Dakota is among the best and brightest ever produced by the great state of Nevada. She represents what all of us hope and pray for our children.
But it didn’t just happen. The story is one of Relentless AMBITION and GOAL-SETTING from the very beginning. From the day she was born, I told Dakota she was destined for Harvard or Stanford. I prayed with her at her bedside every night, including a prayer that she’d attend Harvard or Stanford as both a scholar and athlete, making Mom and Dad proud. We took her on campus tours of Harvard and Stanford. I bought her Harvard and Stanford pens, pencils, and sweatshirts. In each of my books I wrote that my brilliant young daughter was going to attend Harvard or Stanford one day on an athletic scholarship (which would, of course, save me money). From the age of five I knew she had the talent to do it and relentlessly reinforced that image in her mind.
Some might call it relentless brainwashing. I call it relentless faith. When Dakota went out and delivered, it was not by luck or coincidence. She was put into a position to deliver excellence. She is a success story that might be titled, “Think and Grow Harvard.”
Of course the last laugh was on me. Only after she was accepted at Harvard did I learn that Ivy League colleges don’t give athletic scholarships. My dream was getting her in . . . without Dad having to pay. Instead I got stuck with the full bill, about sixty-five thousand per year. Oh well, I better get even more relentless pursuing new business deals. I have three more kids headed to college, and they too are aiming for #1.
What makes Dakota’s story so remarkable is that she was educated in Las Vegas, the same city that produces some of the worst public education results in America. Las Vegas students’ test scores, drop out rates, and graduation rates are among the worst in the country. So how did Dakota’s success happen? What was in the water at the Root household? Can others learn from Dakota’s story? Can others replicate her remarkable “Homeschool to Harvard” story? YES, they can! But you better be committed to being relentless for twenty-two years from your child’s first breath until his or her college graduation ceremony.
It doesn’t take a village, or a government, or a teachers’ union to raise a child—it takes Relentless AMBITION and GOAL-SETTING.
It takes a mother and father who can paint the vision, show the child how to dream big, instill them with unshakable faith and contagious enthusiasm, and then teach them work ethic, discipline, sacrifice, and personal responsibility. It takes a mother and father who can teach a child to never, ever, ever, ever give up on a dream. In other words, like anything else you want, first you have to clearly see it, then believe it, then take action, and finally harness The Power of RELENTLESS to achieve it. That’s how you turn dreams into reality.
If you know what your goals are, and you have 100 percent faith in your vision, you will unleash the power of RELENTLESS discipline and sacrifice. I’m up early each day. I start work early. I put in long days. I take calls, texts, and e-mails 24/7. I’m never “off” except for Christmas Eve and part of Christmas Day. Other than the news, I don’t waste my time watching much television. I don’t waste time or money at nightclubs or bars. I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs. I work out religiously and pray every day. I taught Dakota the exact same relentless discipline and sacrifice. The fact is, 99.9 percent of all kids will never get into Harvard, Stanford, Duke, Columbia, Penn, or Brown—let alone all of them. Even fewer will graduate at the top of their class at Harvard and Oxford. That’s how you become part of that infamous and hated “1 percent.”
But there are no mistakes or coincidences in life. My favorite saying is “Luck is the residue of design.” Most people in the “1 percent” earned it. My daughter was studying when other kids were partying, hanging out at the mall, gossiping, drinking, doing drugs, or getting pregnant. Few of those kids will lead a special life. Making the wrong decisions and taking the wrong actions will damage your prospects, potential, and opportunities in life. I taught Dakota to sacrifice what some see as “fun” as a teenager, in order to live a life few will ever experience or even imagine as an adult. Dakota listened and learned. She is living an amazing life because we SET GOALS for her and instilled Relentless AMBITION in her from the beginning.
CONCRETE STEPS FOR SETTING YOUR GOALS—AND ACHIEVING THEM!
One of the key lessons of Napoleon Hill’s famous book Think and Grow Rich is that you must have detailed, specific goals. You can’t “ready, shoot, aim.” We all need to know the target we’re aiming at in order to hit it. Think and Grow Rich actually used the word obsession to describe the attitude about your goals that is necessary to achieve success.
Even Relentless HEART and CHUTZPAH will not take you far, unless you first identify your goals. Goals are nothing less than the magical way you turn your dreams into reality.
Unfortunately, right here is where so many other books leave the subject. This is where I start! I’m going to take you step by step through the detailed process of how to create your goals and how to then turn them into reality. It’s a twelve-step process.
1. FIND YOUR PASSION AND PURPOSE.
It is not possible to set goals until you first identify your passion and purpose—your Relentless AMBITION. Identifying the things you are passionate about will lead to enthusiasm, commitment, tenacity, energy, relentlessness, and eventually success.
As you know from my own story, my personal passions and purpose have changed several times over the years. It will probably be the same for you. If so, more power to you. As we age and change (and accomplish success), our goals change too.
Once step one is out of the way, it is time to map out your goals. This doesn’t need to be long. You can do it on the back of a napkin. Lay out your goals for the short term (six months and one year), and then long term (two years, five years, and ten years). Know that it is natural that these will evolve and change along the way. Just update them as they change.
3. CREATE A DREAM BOOK OR VISION BOARD.
This is a powerful tool used to help clarify, concentrate, and maintain focus on specific life goals. Fill it with images that represent whatever you want to be, do, or have. I prefer both an old fashioned “photo album” where I place photos of my goals and a vision of my future—and also a “vision board” that I mount on the wall of my office where I see it throughout the day.
Today’s youth would no doubt prefer an online vision board kept on your computer. The reason I prefer an old-fashioned photo album is that I place that album on my nightstand. I can’t go to sleep without seeing it. That is my reminder to look at it each night before bedtime.
What is the point of a dream book or vision board? Humans are busy and constantly bombarded by distractions. A vision board helps you:
• Identify your vision and give it clarity.
• Reinforce your Relentless AMBITION daily.
• Keep your focus on your intentions.
Don’t forget to update it as goals are reached and new goals are set.
I’ve made at least four specific dreams or visions happen as a direct result of my dream book and vision board. For many years I put my dream Las Vegas mansion in my dream book. That vision inspired me to finally take the bold step of moving my family and business from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. And the home I bought in Las Vegas looked eerily like the one I had stared at in my dream book for five years.
Once I moved to Las Vegas, I added a new dream. For years I hung on my wall a photo of a beautiful home on a ski slope in Park City, Utah. Eventually I bought my own dream home on a ski slope in Park City. It took about three years of seeing it to make it happen. But the key was that I put it in front of my eyes 24/7. I saw it every day. I couldn’t miss it. I wanted it so badly, I could taste it, hear it, feel it. There it was, on my wall, staring right at me every day. And then . . . it was mine.
I also put photos of my dream sports car in my dream book—a black Aston Martin DB9 Volante convertible. It was right out of the James Bond movie. I stared at it every night before I went to bed. Then in 2006 I bought it. In black—exactly as I saw it in my dream book.
Once you turn your dream into reality, it’s time for a new dream. So I soon set my sights on a white-on-white Maserati Quattroporte. It’s basically an exotic racecar disguised as a four-door ultra-luxury car. On the outside it is beautiful. On the inside it is luxurious. But under the hood it’s an Indy racecar—with a twin turbo-charged Ferrari engine capable of going from zero to sixty in about four seconds and a top speed of 190 miles per hour. Last October I brought my white-on-white Maserati Quattroporte home.
Who says dreams don’t come true? They most certainly do when you have a dream book or vision board!
4. CREATE A CONTRACT WITH “ME, MYSELF, AND I.”
This means exactly what it says. Write a contract with yourself identifying the goals you will attain (not want to, or wish to, but “will” attain). Most importantly, in the written contract include the specific steps you are committing yourself to take and agree to follow through on to accomplish those goals. Contracts are important. Most normal people don’t break contracts. You are legally obligated to keep your word. Your subconscious mind sees written words and your signature on a contract and believes you are obligated—just like in every other legal contract you’ve ever signed. This is just one more piece of the puzzle to create a positive, confidant, relentless mindset.
5. WRITE YOUR OWN OBITUARY.
Yes, you heard me. How do you want to be remembered after you’re gone? What are truly the most important things you want to have accomplished? Think about it, then write your obituary as it will appear in the newspaper or online after your death. Now . . . start working in reverse. Live your life that way, to make it happen. Talk about Relentless GOAL-SETTING. This is the “end goal” of all end goals!
6. KEEP A “BLACK BOX.”
A black box is the recording device on planes that investigators use to piece together and solve a mystery as to why a plane crashed. The “black box” saves lives by making sure we learn from tragedies, thereby never repeating the same mistake. Well, that’s the exact same purpose for your personal “black box.”
Basically it’s a weekly journal, where you write about your mistakes, frustrations, rejections, failures, defeats, and of course your victories too. I fill it in once per week at bedtime. Then I review it once per week as well. Like a “black box” does for the airlines, your journal will save you from making the same mistakes again and again. Write your results down for just five minutes once per week. And review it once per week for five to ten minutes. You’ll see patterns developing. You’ll start to see why the same bad things keep happening to you. And you’ll correct it.
This journal’s sole purpose is to be just like a football coach making notes on his clipboard, which he studies so he can make halftime adjustments. Its purpose is to record and review what happened during the week and make the adjustments and changes necessary to get the intended results.
Life gets busy and so many people, once headed in a direction (whether good or bad) simply run on “automatic.” They are too distracted to change direction. Don’t be one of those. Instead be a person of Relentless AMBITION and GOAL-SETTING. Then you can make the necessary “halftime” adjustments. A daily journal gives you the information and tools to do exactly that. Isn’t it sad that life-improving tools like this aren’t ever taught in school?
7. MAKE A DAILY “HIT LIST.”
Just like a mob “hit list”—only yours is a straightforward list of what you want to do each day to make your dreams come true. Make it as specific as possible, so you can check off each line item as you achieve it. Then on to the next and the next. Until you’ve crossed each “hit” off your list. Those you don’t complete, add to tomorrow’s list. That is how you are forced to follow up.
8. CHOOSE AN “ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER.”
This is a peer, a friend or co-worker, who understands your goals and preferably is headed in the same direction. They should be a cheerleader—always ready to offer positive reinforcement. This is someone you can always call to go over goals, motivate you, uplift you, stop you from doing negative things, hold you to your Relentless AMBITION. This is the person to whom you are accountable, forcing you to make the phone calls, go to meetings, or job interviews, or take whatever actions are necessary for you to succeed. It is especially powerful if this is a spouse or business partner (so you see them daily). The key is you have to do the same for them.
I’ve never been to an AA meeting—I thank God that I’ve never had a problem with drugs or alcohol. But AA does wonderful things for people with addiction issues. The key is they are each assigned a “sponsor.” That sponsor is just like an “accountability partner.” Your sponsor looks out for you. They are always willing to take a call and give you strength or counsel. Well, we all need a “sponsor” in our lives. Not just addicts. Here’s your chance. They will help you and you will help them, by holding each other accountable.
You may think I have overdone the importance of accountability and follow-up. But the fact is, they can’t be overdone. All the Relentless GOAL-SETTING in the world will not work without discipline, accountability, personal responsibility, follow-up, and the commitment to do the work.
9. FIND A MENTOR.
Unlike an accountability partner, this is not a peer. This is someone older, wiser, and preferably much more successful than you. Someone who has already achieved great success and/or celebrity. This is not someone that has time to talk to you every day, or at all hours of the day and night. This kind of person is too successful to be bothered by nonstop calls from you.
This is a once per month or once per quarter call for general advice and motivation. Find someone you believe you can learn from. Don’t hesitate to ask someone older, higher up in your own organization, or even someone who might be considered famous, or who you might think has no time for someone like you. You’ll be amazed how many people love to be needed and are ready to help. Most smart and successful people want to “do good” and give back. You are giving them a chance. If you handle the relationship properly, a good mentor will also be aware of your goals and where you are in your career and may make introductions or present you with opportunities they come across.
My relationship with my mentor, Doug Miller, has been crucial to my success. Every step of the way Doug gave me good advice and counsel and kept me focused. It wasn’t just that he was there to guide me through the hard times. He was also someone to high-five and celebrate my successes.
My relationship with Doug started over thirty years ago and continues to this day. As he recently told me, “Over the years this has become very much a two-way relationship that has undoubtedly helped me as much as it has you.” Everyone needs a Doug.
A business coach is similar to a mentor, but this is a professional coach giving you much more of their time and input—for a fee. You can ask them anything, you can bother them whenever you want—because you’re paying for it. And you can be sure they’re good at keeping you motivated and on track, because this is what they do for a living. A good business coach is there to keep you on track and be brutally honest with you when you’re creating both a long-term and daily game plan.
As most of you know, one of my passions in life is sports. It is no secret that the most important “player” on any team is the coach. Quite frankly, coaching is everything—not only in sports, but in business, relationships, and life itself. A good coach can make all the difference in the world. A good coach can take a losing team and almost overnight turn them into a winner. When that coach leaves after a decade of nonstop winning, the next coach rarely ever succeeds at the same level. Why? Because coaching is an art. Few have that “it” factor. Find one and hire them to guide you.
A sports writer once said of legendary Alabama football coach Paul “Bear” Bryant, “He can whip you with his players . . . or he’ll give you his players . . . take yours . . . and he’ll whip you with your players!”
Business coaching has become a big business. Just remember, as in all professions, there are only a few good ones, a lot of mediocre ones, and way too many bad ones. Once you find a good one, keep him or her for life!
11. KEEP A PROGRESS AND REWARDS CHART.
A common method of training children is to keep a “progress chart” with rewards if they clean their room, mind their manners, do their homework, etc. It works like a charm for kids, but it will work even better for you!
As you check off your daily list of tasks, assign yourself points for each positive achievement. On days you fail, take points away. Decide beforehand how the point system will work and what the rewards will be when you reach predetermined levels. Rewards can range from: an afternoon off, a day off, a three-day weekend, day spa, a massage, dinner at a five-star restaurant, going shooting at a gun range, a new suit, dress, or shoes . . . all the way up to a vacation or new car.
And remember—DON’T CHEAT!
The point of this is motivation. As long as you’re honest with yourself, this progress and rewards chart will super-charge your motivation. We all want gifts. It started at a young age on Christmas and birthdays. It never went away. It never will. That’s why everyone loves Christmas. We all feel like kids on Christmas morning. Getting gifts is a wonderful feeling. So write down all the things you want, crave, make you happy, float your boat, etc. Then assign points for good days, good actions, good results. And as soon as you reach a target, go buy a gift for yourself. Soon you’ll train your mind to fight for those gifts, to never give up . . . to never accept “NO.” Because that gift you want is waiting. All the naïve people who claim “greed is bad” don’t understand life or human nature. “Greed is good” (as Michael Douglas said in Wall Street), if it’s used in a positive way as motivation for achievement.
And if you are one of the rare people in this world who thinks material things are bad, then by all means set up your rewards as the chance to give donations to charity, or trips to the hospital to volunteer with sick kids, or days dressed as Santa to ring that bell for the Salvation Army at Christmas, or a day volunteering at an animal shelter.
Maybe your reward is that each time you close a big deal, you rent a big truck, fill it with groceries, and head to a poor neighborhood to hand out turkeys or free groceries. Great! I like this idea so much, I think from now on my reward system should include both material rewards and a charitable component each time I hit my target. I just made this decision while writing my own book!
The fact is, rewards work. Use them as motivation to do great things . . . achieve great things . . . hit targets . . . beat the odds . . . and make the impossible, possible. Use rewards to supercharge your Relentless AMBITION and help you sprint through your goals.
Rarely does anyone ever teach you this in school, at the workplace, or in life. But the reality is that “the follow-up” is more important than creating your goals in the first place. Follow-up is more important than taking action on your goals. Success is all in “the follow-up.” Without follow-up, it’s all wasted. You did all that work for nothing. Because rarely does anything ever work the first or even second time. It takes persistent, dedicated, committed relentless follow-up to achieve any kind of success.
Relentless AMBITION and GOAL-SETTING is a mighty force for good in all aspects of your life. To unleash The Power of Relentless, set Relentless GOALS, and use my twelve-step plan to follow through on them. Aim high. Set your ambition on something you will be willing to work and sacrifice and exercise RELENTLESS discipline in pursuit of, even if it takes eighteen years of RELENTLESS plotting and planning, like my “Homeschool to Harvard” story.
Speaking of planning, next up is Relentless Principle #4 . . .