“The steaks were wonderful, weren’t they?”
Bryce smiled. “Everything tasted wonderful, Tara. You’re a good cook.”
“I have many talents,” she drawled.
“I never doubted it for a minute.” His heart smote him at the light in her eyes, because he knew tonight would turn out far different than her expectations. He knew she was self-centered and spoiled, but he also knew she had many good qualities that Lorna had failed to see. Bryce didn’t like hurting people, whether they deserved it or not, but with the present situation, it couldn’t be helped.
Tara laid down her fork. “Shall I put on some coffee to have with our dessert? I made butterscotch pie.”
Bryce felt another twinge of guilt. Butterscotch pie was his favorite, and Tara knew it. In fact, she’d asked his mother for the recipe, which had been her mother’s and had learned to make it the way he liked it best.
“Or would you like another glass of wine and we can have our dessert later?”
“I’ve had enough wine, I think. Sure. Put on the coffee.”
When she got up, he got up with her and started stacking their plates to carry into the kitchen.
“You don’t have to do that, Bryce. You go and relax in the living room. Concetta will clean up in the morning.”
Bryce liked Concetta, the Kenyons’ longtime housekeeper, and hated making more work for her, but it wasn’t his house or his business, so he put the plates down again and went into the living room. He made himself comfortable in one of the big leather chairs that sat on either side of the fireplace. Molly, the Brittany spaniel that had once been Jake’s number-one hunting companion but was now too old for sport, sank down by his feet. Bryce bent down to scratch her silky head.
Bryce loved dogs, but Stella was allergic to their dander, just as Michelle had been.
Just then Tara walked in carrying a laden tray. She looked at him quizzically. “Why don’t you come over here and sit?” Putting the tray down on the coffee table, she sat on the couch. Her green dress, the exact shade of her eyes, rode up to expose a length of shapely thigh.
Bryce had purposely avoided sitting on the couch, figuring it would be easier to say what needed saying if they had some distance between them, but he had little choice now but to comply with her request.
The next few minutes were spent drinking their coffee and eating their pie.
Finally Bryce knew he could put off his mission no longer. He set his empty coffee cup down, declined her offer of more, and said, “Tara, there’s something we need to talk about.”
There was no mistaking the eagerness that lit her green eyes.
Damn. Bryce would have given anything to be somewhere else. Anywhere else. “Susan told me something that greatly disturbed me.”
The smile on her face turned into a perplexed frown. “Oh?”
“She said you told her Amy wouldn’t stay on as their nanny.”
For a moment Tara looked like a kid caught raiding the cookie jar, but she quickly recovered. “So? She won’t stay forever.” Although he was sure she hadn’t meant to reveal it, there was a defensive note in her voice. “After all, the girls will soon be too big for a nanny.”
“Did you explain that’s what you meant when you talked to Susan? Because that’s not the way she took it.”
Irritation flashed in her green eyes, and this time she made no effort to disguise it. “I don’t remember exactly what I said. What’s the big deal? Is this important, Bryce?”
“Yes, I think it is.”
“Why? I mean, Amy is just a nanny. Anyway, Susan doesn’t like her. I was trying to reassure her by what I said.”
“Amy’s the best nanny we’ve ever had, and I think, given a fair chance, she can win over both girls. But if you keep undermining her, she won’t have a fair chance.”
“I’m more than a little upset by your attitude, Bryce.” But now there was fear mixed in with the defiance in her voice.
“I’m sorry, Tara, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I want you to refrain from talking about Amy with the girls. I’ve been assured she’s not considering leaving, and I want the girls to know that. The thing is—” He held up a warning hand to stave off the rejoinder she’d opened her mouth to make. “Let me finish, okay? What I’m trying to emphasize here is that we feel Susan purposely tries to run off the nannies because she’s subconsciously afraid if she gets too close to them, she’ll just get hurt when they do leave, the way she did when her mother died.”
“We? Since when are you into psychological analysis? I’ll bet this is your new nanny’s theory, isn’t it?”
Ignoring the sarcasm in her voice, he answered evenly. “Yes, Amy’s the one who suggested this was the reason behind Susan’s behavior. But as soon as I heard what she thought, I felt it was accurate.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Bryce. You don’t really believe that psychobabble, do you? Didn’t you consider that your new nanny is being a bit self-serving here? I mean, it’s a lot better for you to think Susan is afraid Amy will desert her than it is for you to realize Susan might just see through her for what she is.”
“What do you mean, what she is?”
“A woman looking out for her own best interests. A woman who sees what a cushy job she has, working for a man who’s wealthy and eligible and vulnerable.”
“Amy’s not like that.”
“How do you know what she’s really like? How do any of us?”
“We’re not discussing Amy. We’re discussing what you did and what you said. Susan also told me you told her Amy was mean.”
“That’s not true. She’s the one who said Amy was mean, and I only questioned her as to why she thought so.”
“I see. And you didn’t think to talk to me about this?”
“You know, Bryce, I’m really upset by your attitude. We’ve known each other our entire lives. I thought you’d want me to develop a relationship with the girls and to encourage them to confide in me. If I come running to you every time they tell me something in confidence, how can we build any kind of trust between us?”
“Tara…” He sighed. This was not going well. “Of course I don’t want you tattling to me every time the girls tell you something in confidence, but this is different.”
“How is it different?”
“It concerns their welfare.”
“And I don’t have their welfare at heart? Is that what you’re saying?” There were two bright spots of color on her cheeks.
“You’re twisting every word out of my mouth. I just don’t want the girls pulled in two different directions. Right now it’s important that all the adults in their lives work toward the same goal. And that means supporting Amy.”
“I don’t understand why you’re taking her side against me.”
“Tara, it’s not a matter of sides. It’s a matter of Susan’s and Stella’s well-being. I just happen to think Amy is the best thing to happen to them in a long time, and I don’t want to see her run off if I can possibly prevent it.”
“It’s obvious she’s got you fooled, but I’m warning you, Bryce, she’s not what she seems to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean just that. There’s something strange about her. Something not quite right.”
“You’re imagining things, Tara. You just don’t like her, so you’re seeing what you want to see, not what is.”
“I know that I saw her using the pay phone at Lowell’s Service Station on Monday. What reason could she have for using a pay phone when there’s a perfectly good phone at your house?”
“Maybe because she was out and had to make a call right then?”
“Why doesn’t she ever get any mail? Or phone calls?”
“How do you know she doesn’t?”
“Susan told me.”
“Susan told you? She just volunteered that information?”
When Tara didn’t answer, Bryce said, “You asked her, didn’t you? You were pumping her for information.”
“Pumping her! Yes, I did ask her. You may be blind about your new nanny, but I’m not.”
“Don’t question Susan about Amy again, Tara.” Bryce’s tone had hardened. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he also didn’t intend to put up with any more interference from her, either.
“Just what are you trying to say to me, Bryce?”
“I think I’ve made myself perfectly clear. I don’t want you putting ideas in Susan’s or Stella’s heads. It’s my job to supervise their relationship with Amy, not yours.”
At this, she jumped up. She was furious, and she no longer cared if he knew it. “I can’t believe you’re taking her side against me.”
Bryce stood, too. “Tara, be reasonable. I told you. This isn’t about sides.”
Her smile was tight, her eyes hard. “I’m not stupid, Bryce. I wasn’t born yesterday. I know exactly what this is about. You’ve got a hard-on for that little bitch, don’t you? Well, you’re welcome to her! Now get out. Get out and don’t come back!”
“Amy, why don’t you and Calista come and have lunch with me today?”
Sometimes Amy thought Lorna must be a mind reader. She always seemed to know when Amy was at loose ends. Sundays were especially hard because Amy had the day off, yet she was reluctant to go anywhere. She knew it was paranoia, but she couldn’t shake the feeling that no matter how far away she was in miles, Cole’s arms and influence might still reach her. “We’d love to.”
An hour later, with Calista settled happily playing with Bear and Buttercup on the kitchen floor, Lorna motioned for Amy to follow her into the living room. “She’ll be okay,” she said when Amy seemed reluctant. “I just need to tell you something, and little pitchers have big ears.”
Once they were out of Calista’s earshot, Lorna said, “You’re never going to believe this.”
“What?”
“Tara threw Bryce out of her house and told him to never come back!”
Amy’s mouth dropped open. “Why?” she whispered, although she knew Calista couldn’t hear them.
“Apparently you’re the cause,” Lorna said with a grin.
“Me!”
“Yes, you.” Lorna went on to relate what had happened between Bryce and Tara. “Now, mind you,” she said when she’d finished, “this is what he told me. There could be more that he didn’t say.”
“When did this happen?”
“Last night.”
“How’d you know about it so soon?”
“He drove by here on his way home, saw my lights were still on and stopped to talk to me about it.”
“Is he upset?”
“Well, he hates to have any bad feelings between them, because it’s bound to affect the rest of the family. Other than that, I’m not sure he cares that much.”
“I knew she was trying to discredit me,” Amy said. Part of her felt sorry for Tara, who must have felt desperate to resort to doing what she had and who now was probably humiliated and hurt by the consequences. But the other part of Amy—the secret, not-so-nice part of her—wanted to shoot her fist into the air in triumph and yell, “Take that, Tara.”
“I think my brother likes you,” Lorna said.
“Well, I should hope so. I’d hate to think he disliked me.”
“I don’t mean in that way, you dunce. I mean likes you, as in covets your bod.”
“Lorna!” Amy knew she was blushing and could have kicked herself. “What a thing to say.”
“Why?” said Lorna innocently. “It’s the truth. And I think it’s great! It’s about time he started feeling normal urges again.”
Oh, Lord, Amy thought. How am I ever going to look Bryce in the eye again?
“Now tell me the truth,” Lorna said. The sly grin was back. “You feel the same way about him, don’t you?”
“Lorna!” Amy exclaimed again. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Hey, I’ve got eyes in my head. I see the way he looks at you. And I see the way you avoid looking at him. I just put one and one together.”
Amy couldn’t think what to say. It was true that she was strongly attracted to Bryce. And yes, if she were being completely honest with herself, she would admit that the thought of sharing a bed with Bryce had crossed her mind—more than once—but she’d ruthlessly pushed it out. But there was no way, no way at all, that she would admit this to anyone. Not even Lorna. Because the bottom line was, it was never going to happen. Bryce might not be in love with Tara, but when he married again, it would be to someone like Tara. Someone of his own class and background. Someone who wasn’t lying to him about her past.
If the opportunity for sex with Bryce ever presented itself, and Amy succumbed to desire, she would be committing a huge mistake. A mistake that could only lead to heartache and the loss of her job and her and Calista’s safe haven.
“Your brother is very attractive,” she said now, finally composed enough to give the only answer she could give, “and any woman would be flattered to have him notice her, but I am his employee. I know this, and he knows this. That’s the extent of our relationship.”
“Jeez, Amy, you sound like something out of Jane Austen. This is the twenty-first century. Haven’t you ever watched Sex and the City or Friends? Those old-fashioned ideas of yours went out with high-buttoned shoes. If they ever existed,” Lorna added dryly.
“Proper behavior never goes out of style.” Even as Amy said it, she realized how prissy she sounded. If only she could tell Lorna the truth about herself.
“Bullhonky to proper behavior, as you put it. Bryce is a virile and red-blooded man, and I think you’re a red-blooded woman.”
“But, Lorna, can’t you see that a personal relationship between Bryce and me would be totally wrong.”
“Why? You’re two consenting adults.”
“Yes, but Bryce is my employer. What would happen once the, um, affair was over? I’d have to leave. And I don’t want to leave.”
“Mommee! Where are you?”
“I’m right here, sweetheart.”
Lorna had no choice but to drop the subject, and Amy was glad. But later, after Amy and Calista left for home, she thought about the things Lorna had said. Was Bryce attracted to her? Even the thought caused her heart to beat faster.
That night she had an erotic dream, one in which she and Bryce were entwined in his bed and he was making slow, passionate love to her.
She woke up just as the pink light of dawn crept into the eastern sky. Lying there, still shaken by her dream, she knew that unless she did something about it, she was heading for disaster, because if Bryce made any move toward her, any move at all, she doubted she would have the strength to resist.
Why did he have to be such a great guy?
It would be so easy to fall in love with him.
It would be so easy to get her heart broken.
Oh, Amy, Amy, she lectured herself. Don’t dare go down this path. Don’t even think about going down this path. Don’t delude yourself that it could possibly end any way but badly. You know there’s no chance you could ever have any kind of future with Bryce Hathaway. He might not be in love with Tara, but if and when he marries again, it will be to someone like Tara, and you know it.
Maybe Amy should just call it quits right now. Make up some excuse, give Bryce her notice, then head for points west the way she’d initially planned.
But even the thought of doing so filled her with despair, not just for her own sake, but also for Calista’s. If Amy pulled up stakes and left Texas, Calista would be heartbroken. She loved living in Morgan Creek. In just a few short weeks she had become very close to Bryce’s daughters.
Hadn’t Calista suffered enough trauma with first the divorce, then the abrupt flight from Mobile? Did Amy have the right to inflict any more pain and suffering on her child?
No, she didn’t.
She needed to tough it out. She was a mature adult, capable of exercising restraint and willpower. Just because she was attracted to Bryce didn’t mean she ever had to acknowledge it to him or act upon that attraction.
She had a choice.
She just had to make sure she made the right one.
Bryce decided not to wait to talk to Susan. On Tuesday he called Lorna and asked her if she’d invite Stella to do something with her that evening so he could take Susan out to dinner. “I’m going to talk to her about what Tara told her. See if I can’t reassure her about things.”
“And what if she won’t talk to you?”
“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”
“She might not, Bryce. She’s only seven.”
“I know, but I have to try.”
“Okay. I’ll call and talk to Stella.”
“What I thought I’d do is tell the girls I want us to occasionally have time alone together, just two of us, and that tonight will be Susan’s turn and next week will be Stella’s.”
Next Bryce called Amy to let her know she’d only have herself and Calista to feed that evening.
Susan was delighted to be singled out. Bryce hoped Stella wasn’t hurt not to be first, especially as Susan couldn’t keep from bragging.
“I don’t care,” he heard Stella say. “Aunt Lorna said we’re going to do something special tonight.”
He couldn’t help but smile. Maybe Stella was growing out from under Susan’s influence.
He made arrangements to drop Stella at Lorna’s on their way. She bounced out of the car happily and waved goodbye from Lorna’s front porch. “Okay, toots,” he said to Susan as he backed out of Lorna’s driveway. “Where do you want to go?”
“Yolanda’s,” she said without hesitation.
Both he and his girls were hooked on Mexican food. “That’s where I wanted to go, too.”
He was glad to see the restaurant was only about half-full, so it wouldn’t be too noisy nor would the owners be anxious to move people in and out quickly.
Once they’d placed their orders and had their drinks and a basket of warm chips and a bowl of salsa to enjoy, Bryce casually said, “How are you and Miss Hudson getting along?” Miss Hudson was Susan’s second-grade teacher.
“Good.”
“Just good?”
“Uh-huh.” Susan was mumbling around a mouthful of chips.
“So you like her?”
“Uh-huh.” Susan reached for several more chips.
Bryce could see this wasn’t going to be easy. Susan, who was normally a chatterbox, had suddenly become subdued.
“What about Miss Amy? Do you like her?”
Susan looked at him.
He looked back. Maybe if he didn’t elaborate, she would open up. A long twenty seconds passed. When Bryce was just about to give up and prod her with another question, she said, “She’s okay.”
“I think she’s more than okay, Susan. I like her.”
Susan shrugged and reached for more chips.
“Honey, I know you like Miss Amy, too.”
Susan took a long drink of her soda and eyed him over the rim of the plastic glass.
“And you like Calista,” he continued doggedly.
For the first time since Bryce had initiated the discussion, Susan perked up. “She’s funny.”
Bryce smiled. This was better. “She’s a nice little girl, and I know she really likes you and Stella. Miss Amy told me that Calista is very happy here with us.”
“She likes to play with me and Stella.”
Bryce ate a couple of chips. He kept his tone offhand. “Do you like having Miss Amy as your nanny?”
Another shrug.
Bryce felt as if he were pulling teeth. “I think she’s really nice.”
Silence.
“Susan, Tara told me something the other day.”
Susan’s eyes met his.
“She said you two were talking and you were afraid Miss Amy was going to leave. Is that true?”
Susan looked away.
“Susan?”
She didn’t answer for a long moment. When her gaze met his again, it contained something that made him want to reach out and hold her close. “She is going to leave.”
“Why do you say that, honey?”
“’Cause she is.”
“There must be a reason you think so. Did Miss Amy tell you she was leaving?”
She shook her head.
“Did Calista say something?” he pressed.
Another head shake.
Bryce decided silence might be best at this point.
Finally Susan said, “Tara said Miss Amy was going to leave.”
“Well, honey, Tara was wrong. Neither Miss Amy nor Calista is going to leave.”
“I don’t like having a nanny.”
Although what Susan had said might seem like a non sequitur, Bryce knew it wasn’t, and he was glad they finally seemed to be getting down to some honest feelings. Unfortunately, the words were barely out of Susan’s mouth when their waiter appeared with their food, so Bryce couldn’t immediately respond. But once their plates were set before them and their waiter had refilled their glasses and finally gone away again, Bryce said, “Why did you say you don’t like having a nanny?”
“I’m not a baby!”
“I know you’re not, but you and Stella aren’t old enough to be on your own when I’m not there.”
“Why can’t you just get a baby-sitter, then? Why do we have to have a nanny living with us?” She said nanny as if it were a nasty word.
“Because I don’t always know when I’m going to be gone. I can’t do everything myself, honey. You know that. I need to know that someone trustworthy is there to look after you and your sister when I can’t be.”
“Nannies are for babies.” So saying, she attacked her enchilada, venting her frustration the only way she could.
“So you want Miss Amy to leave, is that it?”
Susan kept eating and didn’t answer.
“Susan, you do realize that if Miss Amy leaves Calista will be leaving, too?”
That got her attention. She stared at him.
“I don’t think you want that, do you?”
She shook her head. She looked miserable. Maybe he should just make an appointment with her doctor and see about getting them some family counseling. It was obvious Susan had some contradictory feelings regarding Amy.
Sounds familiar, Bryce thought wryly. After all, he, too, had contradictory feelings toward Amy, and he didn’t have the excuse of youth to justify his own inability to resolve them.
For a while after that they ate in silence.
“Susan,” Bryce finally said, “honey, I want you and your sister to be happy. And I think you are happier now. I think you like Miss Amy and Calista living with us.” Bryce hoped he wasn’t just wishing aloud.
Susan’s eyes, so like Michelle’s in their avid curiosity about the world around them, met his steadily.
“But I also think maybe there are things that bother you,” he continued gently, “and that we should talk about them. I know there are things that bother me, and I’ll bet Stella has things that bother her. So maybe you and I and Stella need to start talking about our feelings.”
“You mean like have a meeting? Jessica’s family has a family meeting every Sunday night.” Jessica Dalzell was Susan’s best friend at school.
“They do, huh?”
She nodded. “They sit around the kitchen table and they vote on stuff.”
“Like a family council.” That was an interesting idea.
“Jessica said they all get to say what they think.”
“Would you like to do something like that?”
“Uh-huh. It’d be cool.”
“What about if we did that with someone else?”
She frowned. “Who?”
“A counselor. Somebody who knows a lot about families and would help us work out our problems.”
“Not Miss Amy.”
“No, not Miss Amy. A doctor.”
Susan thought about that for a while. Then she grinned. “A shrink.”
Bryce laughed. “Where’d you learn about shrinks?”
“Bobby Landis goes to a shrink. He said it’s cool.”
“So you like the idea?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Think Stella will?”
Susan gave him a look as if to say, If I like it, she will.
All in all, Bryce thought as they drove home, he was pretty happy with the way their talk had gone. Maybe they hadn’t dug into Susan’s feelings about losing Michelle, but that would come later under the guidance of someone much more qualified to deal with any resultant revelations than Bryce.
He decided he would call the girls’ pediatrician tomorrow. He should have taken this action a long time ago. Why hadn’t he? Why had he listened to his mother when he’d known he and the children were in trouble?
It had taken a stranger to show him what needed doing. Amazing how many ways Amy’s entrance into their lives had changed them. He felt he was finally leaving the dark days behind, and he was confident his girls would, too.