‘Just here is great, thanks,’ Sophie says.
For ages there’s just been forest. Now there’s a little carpark next to the remains of an old church and an old stump that might once have been a tree. Julie stops the van. There don’t seem to be any houses around here, just the forest.
Sophie gets her bag from the pile. ‘I’ll bless the van, then,’ she says. Feeling around in her bag, she pulls out a small fabric object, like a pin-cushion. Everyone watches as she attaches a thread to it, then gets out of the van and holds it up to the sky. She turns to face north, then south, east and west, asking each element in turn to empower her charm. Finally, facing east once more, she says: ‘I have created this charm to protect this van against all harm. Its power has been created and now let its work be done.’ Then she gets back in the van and hangs the charm over the rearview mirror.
‘That’ll do the trick,’ she says. ‘Thanks for the lift.’
‘No problem,’ Julie says, looking at the charm suspiciously.
‘Leanne,’ says Sophie. ‘Can I speak to you outside?’
‘Uh, sure, whatever,’ Leanne says, picking up her little rucksack from the seat.
They both step out of the van. Julie watches them walk over to the tree stump. She doesn’t want to get out of the van in this odd place. It’s too dark to see anything very much; anyone could be lurking in the forest, or that horrible old church. But still, she and Charlotte look at each other, then slowly climb out of the van. By the edge of the forest, Sophie has her hand on Leanne’s shoulder, and seems to be saying something fast and urgent to her. Leanne’s nodding. Then she notices Julie and Charlotte approaching.
‘I’m going with Sophie,’ Leanne says.
‘We thought you might,’ Charlotte says.
‘I . . .’ Leanne bites her lip. ‘I have to.’
Julie’s not sure whether to laugh – Leanne’s sense of melodrama finally has a place – or hug her because she looks so small and scared and like she doesn’t fit in here. This place is weird, Julie can feel it. It’s weird and full of witches and headless ghosts and other stuff Julie doesn’t believe in but can still sense; and Leanne’s about to walk off into it with a woman who doesn’t seem all there, to somewhere no one knows about. Then again, she is annoying and she does think she’s a witch and the customers at Blockbuster will have a better rental experience without her. And she seems to want to do this. Julie realises she can’t affect this either way, so she stops worrying about it.
Sophie looks at Charlotte. ‘Thanks,’ she says.
‘What for?’
‘Bringing her to me.’
‘Sorry?’ says Charlotte, but Sophie has already turned to walk into the forest.
‘Blessed be,’ she says over her shoulder, instead of goodbye.
‘See ya,’ says Leanne, following. ‘And thanks.’
‘Take care,’ says Julie.
Leanne stops and turns around for a second. ‘I’m going to put everything right,’ she says. ‘The rain, and David, and everything . . . I’m going to help Luke, as well. I took a lock of his hair. I’m going to help heal him. And I’m going to help you, Julie, and you, Charlotte. I don’t know how yet but I will. I’m so grateful you did this for me.’
‘What the fuck was she going on about?’ Charlotte says, once Leanne’s gone.
‘Oh. I didn’t completely tell you the full story,’ Julie says.
‘I’m not sure I want to know.’
‘Charlotte?’
‘Yeah?’
‘What the hell are we doing here? I mean . . .’
‘What, why are we standing on the edge of Epping Forest with a Scooby Doo van, a Lottery winner, a guy with cancer and someone dressed in a space-suit – that we made – having just waved a tearful goodbye to a domineering retail-assistant who’s just gone into the woods to “fulfil her destiny” and learn how to channel her humungous witch powers?’
‘Yeah,’ says Julie.
She catches Charlotte’s eye and then, suddenly, they’re both laughing so much they’re choking, until Julie can’t breathe and her stomach hurts. This place suddenly doesn’t seen frightening any more.
‘Oh God,’ Julie says. ‘Ow.’
‘What are we fucking like?’ Charlotte says. ‘Come on, we’d better tell the others.’
David and Chantel look worried.
‘What was going on out there?’ David asks.
‘Where’s my cousin?’ asks Chantel.
‘You’re not going to believe this . . .’ Charlotte says.
‘Um . . . Leanne’s joined the coven,’ says Julie.
‘She said she had to be with her own sort,’ Charlotte says.
There’s a snort from under the blanket on the bed.
‘Luke?’ says Julie. It sounds like he’s laughing.
‘Her own sort?’ says Chantel.
‘She thinks she’s a witch,’ Charlotte explains.
‘Jesus,’ says Chantel. ‘Will she be all right?’
‘Yeah, she’ll be fine,’ says Charlotte. ‘Come on, let’s go.’
Julie goes to the back of the van and peers under the blanket at Luke. ‘You OK?’ she asks.
‘Is it true about Leanne?’ he says softly.
‘Yeah,’ Julie giggles. ‘I feel like I’ve just released an animal into the wild.’
Luke giggles too. Then he stops and grips Julie’s arm.
‘Will I be all right?’ he asks.
‘Of course you will. You don’t have to stay under the blanket, you know.’
‘I know, it just feels less strange this way.’
Julie returns to the driver’s seat and, after a couple of tries, successfully starts the engine.
‘Where now?’ she asks.
‘Wales!’ says David. ‘Onwards and upwards!’
‘Can someone read the map?’
‘I’ll do it,’ Charlotte says.
Chantel passes it up to her.
‘Can you read maps?’ Julie asks.
‘Sure, babe. I’m looking for yellow roads, yeah?’
‘Yeah. B-roads.’
‘Through London or around it?’
‘Um . . .’
‘There aren’t any yellow roads going through London,’ says David. ‘I checked.’
‘Yeah, but those London roads aren’t, like, motorways or anything,’ Charlotte says. ‘It’ll be all right.’
‘What about London traffic?’ Chantel says.
‘I don’t mind London traffic so much,’ Julie says. The traffic slows everything down. She likes that.
‘What about the Old Bill?’ David says.
‘What?’ says Chantel. ‘What Old Bill?’
‘They check cars going in and out of the City, don’t they? IRA, innit?’
‘Oh yeah,’ says Charlotte. ‘That could be bad.’
‘They might want to examine Luke or something,’ Chantel says.
‘We don’t have to go through the actual City, though, not from here,’ Charlotte says. ‘In fact, having said that, I don’t think I even know how we’d get into London coming from here. It wouldn’t be the normal A12 way, anyway. In fact . . .’ She looks at the map. ‘We’d come in much more north. Like, through Walthamstow, then through Islington, and then . . .’ She turns the page. ‘And then . . . Oh, shit, we’d either have to go through the City or cut down through there to get onto the Embankment so we could go out through West London, but hang on . . . There aren’t any actual yellow roads here, just the A4 or the M4.’
‘Could you manage the A4?’ David asks.
‘I don’t know,’ Julie says.
‘Oh. And – fuck – there’s only big A-roads going into London from here as well.’
‘Maybe London’s not such a great idea,’ Chantel says.
‘Also, what about the fumes?’ Julie says suddenly. ‘We shouldn’t expose Luke to the fumes, should we?’
‘So which way, then?’ asks Charlotte. ‘Under or over London?’
‘You don’t want to go under,’ David says. ‘We’re already going in the wrong direction for that – aren’t we virtually in Hertfordshire or something? Plus there’s all the fucking tunnels.’
‘OK. Over, then?’
‘Yeah,’ Julie says. ‘Can you see a route?’
‘Sort of.’ Charlotte looks at the map some more. ‘Actually, no.’
‘Can I have a look?’ Julie asks, switching off the engine.
Charlotte’s right. The only B-roads from Epping seem to lead towards Harlow. Oh – but hang on, one of them bypasses Harlow and goes off to the left. At least it’s the right direction.
‘Here.’ Julie shows Charlotte. ‘Up here, then along there, then . . .’
‘That’s a motorway,’ Charlotte says, pointing.
‘Yes, but the B-road continues underneath it. There must be a bridge or something. Just make sure we don’t accidentally end up on the motorway.’
‘I’ll try. I can’t actually see very well.’
‘You’ll be able to see more when we get going,’ David says. ‘In the . . . Oh, ignore that. I was going to say in the streetlamps, but there won’t be any, will there?’ He laughs.
‘We should stop at a garage and get a torch,’ Chantel says.
‘And some sandwiches,’ says Charlotte. ‘I’m starving.’
‘Can I have a look at the map again?’ David says.
‘Yeah.’ Charlotte gives it to him. ‘I think you’ll have to map-read anyway. My eyesight’s not good enough in this light.’
‘I see, so we’re going here, here, here and . . .’ David murmurs. ‘Fuck me. South Mimms.’
‘What?’
‘South Mimms. Best ravers’ garage ever. Come on, ladies – and spaceman – looks like we’re on our way to the greatest service station in the world.’
‘Isn’t South Mimms on the M25?’ Charlotte asks.
‘Yep, but there’s a little yellow road running right by it,’ says David happily. ‘And it just happens to be one of the ones we have to go on.’
‘And why are we excited about a service station?’ Julie asks.
‘I’ll tell you on the way.’