| General Information • Calendar of Events |
January
• New Year’s Day Parade • Big Ben to Piccadilly Circus • Marching band and thousands of kids. How better to cure a hangover?
• London Boat Show • ExCel Exhibition Centre • Like we always say: you can never have too many yachts.
• Russian Winter Festival • Trafalgar Square • Magical Russian Winterland replaces the normal Pigeon-Crap Land.
• London Art Fair • Over 100 galleries and thousands of artists under one roof.
• The London Bike Show • ExCel Exhibition Centre • The best of the best of modern cycling equipment pandering to over-indulged cyclists.
• London International Mime Festival • Southbank Centre • Even weirder when you see it for real.
• The London Outdoors Show • ExCel Exhibition Centre • The country’s biggest collection of outdoor goods—ironically hosted indoors.
• Charles I Commemoration Ceremony • Trafalgar Sq • St James’ Palace • Thousands of uniformed Cavaliers confuse the tourists.
• TNA Wrestling • Wembley Arena • Strange men in spandex faux-fighting in front of drunken man-children.
• Walking with Dinosaurs • The O2 • Get your prehistoric freak on with twenty life-size dinosaurs (not literally) freaks!
February
• British Academy Film Awards (BAFTA) • Royal Opera House • Britain’s finest film and television talent take a bow.
• Chinese New Year • West End • Party like it’s 4707.
• Destinations: Holiday and Travel Show • Earls Court Exhibition Centre • Chase away the Winter Blues.
• Live Tudor Cookery • Hampton Court Palace • Glutinous Tudor food prepared in classic Tudor fashion. It’s OK the New Year’s resolutions will be long dead by now.
• London Fashion Week • Somerset House• Far Too Thin.
• National Wedding Show • Olympia • Perfect day out for a first date.
• Professional Beauty • ExCel Exhibition Centre • Pay to get pretty with the latest developments in modern cosmetics.
• Lifted • Harrods • A bizarre annual exhibition inside Harrod’s lifts.
• The Great Spitalfields Pancake Race • Old Truman Brewery • Pancake race in wacky clothes. No, London. Just, no.
• Blessing the Throats • St Ethelreda’s Church, Ely Place • Lemsip not working? Sore throats cured by holy candle.
• Clowns’ Service • Holy Trinity, Dalston • Because God likes clowns too.
• Kinetica Art Fair• P3• Carnivorous lampshades and pole-dancing robots? We’re there.
• BAFTAs • London Palladium • Ten points per autograph.
March
• Affordable Art Fair • The Marquee, Battersea Park • Now even The Great Unwashed can buy art!
• Affordable Art Fair • The Marquee, Battersea Park • Now even The Great Unwashed can buy art!
• Easter Egg Hunt • Kew Garden’s • Delightful Easter affair, perfect for the kids, don’t forget to check out the animal farm.
• Ideal Home Show • Earls Court Exhibition Centre • Make your home ideal (or a bit less grotty).
• St Patrick’s Day Parade • Park Lane • Shamrocks, river-dancing, big fluffy Guinness hats: true Irish tradition.
• London Drinker Beer & Cider Festival • The Camden Centre • Get rat-arsed on Pressed Rat & Warthog.
• La Dolce Vita • Business Design Centre • Get your sampling face on
• Men’s Afternoon Tea • Mandeville Hotel • Because nothing is manlier than an exclusive tea, champagne and cake afternoon.
• Move It • Olympia • Put on your dancing shoes.
• The International Food & Drink Event • Olympia • This gorge-fest happens biannually, so start starving yourself now.
• The Country Living Spring Fair • Business Design Centre • For those with time for wooden chicken eggs
• JobServe Live! • Olympia • Career ideas and thousands of vacancies.
April
• Cake International • ExCel Exhibition Centre • Decorate and glutinously devour delicious cakes.
• Oxford & Cambridge Boat Race • River Thames • Hole up in a pub by the river and cheer over a beer.
• Virgin London Marathon • Greenwich – The Mall • 35,000 pairs of bleeding nipples.
• London Book Fair • Earl’s Court • The publishing industry’s main event. Occasionally stuff for free.
• Alternative Fashion Week • Old Spitalfields Market • Huge range of cutting edge fashion. And fetishwear.
• Queen’s Birthday Gun Salute • Hyde Park • Who said the monarchy is archaic?
• St George’s Day • Covent Garden / Cenotaph / Shakespeare’s Globe • Brush up your Morris dancing skills.
• The Real Food Festival • Earl’s Court Exhibition Centre • Real Food: much nicer than fake food.
• Hot Cross Bun Service • St Bartholomew-the-Great, Smithfield • Widows get a free hot cross bun. Worth losing the husband.
• London Independent Film Festival • Various West and Central Cinemas • Cool celebration of cinematographic indieness without The Man. Or something.
May
• Freedom of the City • Central London • Frequently awesome improv and experimental festival attracting top names.
• Baishakhi Mela • Brick Lane • Celebrate the Bengali New Year in the British tradition: vindaloo.
• Bathing the Buddha • Leicester Square • Buddha gets a birthday bath.
• Mind, Body, Spirit Festival • Royal Horticultural Halls • Make up for all the time in the pub.
• Camden Crawl • Throughout Camden • If you’re not crawling by the end, you haven’t done it right.
• Chelsea Flower Show • Royal Hospital Chelsea • You’ll go for the flowers. You’ll stay for the Pimms.
• Chelsea Flower Show • Royal Hospital Chelsea • You’ll go for the flowers. You’ll stay for the Pimms.
• Greenwich Beer & Jazz Festival • Old Royal Naval College • An odd paring that somehow works.
• London Pet Show • Earls Court Two – The cute, odd, scary and weird bring their pets and show them off.
• Sci-Fi Festival • London Apollo • The UK’s only Sci-Fi Festival. Thank god.
• Interiors London • ExCel Centre • For those rich enough to treat their homes like art.
• The Drag Olympics • The Way Out Club • Drag Queens are put through their pedicured, high-heeled paces.
June
• City of London Festival • The City • Bringing High Culture to a bunch of bankers.
• Field Day • Victoria Park • A pseudo hippy music festival with a lighthearted vibe.
• Start of Open Air Theatre season • Regent’s Park • Ignore the climate and take in an outdoor play.
• Taste of London • Regent’s Park • The best picnic in the world.
• Wimbledon • All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club • Short skirts and grunting. Marvellous.
• Trooping the Colour • Horse Guard’s Parade • Hundreds of chaps in uniforms. Ohhhhh yes.
• Meltdown Festival • Southbank Centre • Eclectic music festival curated by major musicians.
• Royal Academy Summer Exhibition • Royal Academy • Lots and lots and LOTS of art.
• Arts Festival Chelsea • Chelsea • The artists formerly known as ‘The Chelsea Festival’.
• Naked Bike Ride • Hyde Park • Don’t think about the bums on seats.
• Polo in the Park • Hurlingham Park • Its turbo-rah dahhling, pass the Pimms.
• Shakespeare Globe Season• Bankside • To go, or not to go, that is the question.
July
• Dogget’s Coat & Badge Race • Thames: London Bridge to Chelsea • Intense boat race to win a badge. Hardly seems worth it.
• Pimms Urban Regatta • Finsbury Square • People full of Pimms race on land in bottomless boats. Bloody Ozzies.
• Pride London • Trafalgar Square • One of Britain’s biggest, funnest street parties.
• The British 10k London Run • Hyde Park • Whitehall • Work off the pies.
• Hampton Court Palace Show • Hampton Court • Stock up your garden / flowerpot / imagination.
• The Chap Olympiad• Bedford Square Gardens • Olympics for gentleman—no sportswear please.
• Uprise Festival • Islington • Celebrating the best of multicultural London, for free.
• Swan Upping • River Thames • Census of swans. For goodness sake.
• Opening of Buckingham Palace • Buckingham Palace • The Plebeians allowed in to see how their taxes (and steep entrance fees) are spent.
• Wireless Festival • Hyde Park • Big names vibrate the Serpentine.
• Shoreditch Festival • Shoreditch. • Because you can never have too many local festivals. Apparently.
August
• Innocent Smoothies Festival • Regent’s Park • You wouldn’t think fun could be this wholesome.
• Great British Beer Festival • Earls Court Exhibition Centre • A festival that puts the Great in Britain.
• Trafalgar Square Festival • Trafalgar Square • 3 weeks of music, theatre, dance and art.
• Carnaval del Pueblo • Royal Victoria Docks • Thousands of Latino lovelies. That’s all you need to know, right?
• Camden Fringe • Camden People’s Theatre • Wonderfully weird, hilariously funny and light on the wallet.
• London Triathlon • Docklands • Marathons are for pussies.
• London Mela • Gunnersbury Park • Partaaaay, Asia-style.
• Metro Weekender • Clapham Common • Dance music Saturday, bands on Sunday, chilled all weekend.
• Notting Hill Carnival • Ladbroke Grove • Party till your wallet gets nicked.
• Parliament Tour Season • Westminster • Go see first hand where it all goes so wrong.
• Kids Week • West End • West End shows free for kids. Soooo unfaaaaiiiiir.
• Tiger Beer Singapore Chilli Crab Festival • Truman Brewery • Cold beer, hot food and cool sounds.
September
• The Great British Duck Race • The Thames • Like the Oxbridge boat race. But with 165,000 rubber ducks.
• Horseman’s Sunday • Hyde Park Crescent • London’s horses say their Hail Maries. Yes, really.
• Oyster & Seafood Fair • Hays Galleria • The romance of oysters with the unholy stink of kippers.
• Thames Festival • Tower Bridge • Westminster • Fireworks, costumes, river races, carnivals. Kids like it.
• Last Night of the Proms • Royal Albert Hall • Camp overnight if you want tickets.
• London Duathlon • Richmond Park • It’s like a triathlon… for people who can’t swim.
• London Tattoo Convention • Old Truman Brewery • Who cares if it looks crap when you’re 80?
• Spitalfields Show & Green Fair • Buxton Street • Who has the biggest marrow?
• Open House Weekend • Various around London • Over 600 architectural landmarks open for a nosey.
• Fashion Week • Summerset House • the September instalment of the famous frockfest.
• Great Gorilla Run • Start at London Underwriting Centre • Raise £400 for the Gorilla Organisation and the costume’s yours.
• Vintage Fashion Fair • Primrose Hill • For those with a passion for vintage fashion.
October
• The Big Draw • Museum of Childhood • Pencils, not guns. Unfortunately.
• Down Under Live • Olympia • For those contemplating emigrating to warmer climes.
• ‘Original Pearly Kings & Queens Association Harvest Festival • Church of St Martin-in-the-Fields Affordable Art Fair.
• International Halloween Festival • Queen Mary College • Witches, druids and shamans unite for Europe’s biggest Pagan festival.
• Halloween • London Dungeon • Trick Or Treating is for pussies.
• Frieze Art Fair • Regent’s Park • Air kisses all round.
• London Film Festival • BFI Southbank • Two weeks of the best new films and lectures from A-Listers.
• Metro Ski & Snowboard Show • Olympia • London hosts the world’s biggest winter sport show. Naturally.
• Veolia Entertainment Wildlife Photographer of the Year (exhibition opens, for 6mths) • Natural History Museum Puts your arty market photos to shame.
• The Yoga Show • Olympia • Bendy people upon bendy people. Literally.
• Turner Prize Exhibition • Tate Britain • Get to know the next Hirst or Emin.
November
• London’s Christmas Ice Rinks • Venues across London • Much more romantic in your head than in reality.
• Brighton Veteran Car Run • Starts Hyde Park • Century-old bangers potter their way to Brighton.
• Erotica Show • Olympia • 31,000 horny adults pretend they’re just browsing.
• Barclays ATP World Tour Finals • O2 Arena • Very rich tennis players make more money at this entertaining but unimportant tournament.
• Bonfire Night • Venues across London • Hundreds of thousands of pounds go pop.
• Country Living Christmas Fair • Business Design Centre • For those dreaming of a posh Christmas.
• Royal British Legion Festival of Remembrance • Royal Albert Hall • Take tissues.
• Lord Mayor’s Show • Central London • Running for over 800 years and yet still a bit crap.
• London Jazz Festival • South Bank Centre • Start practising your jazz hands.
• Winter Wonderland • Hyde Park Grottos and Glühweins galore.
December
• Satan’s Grotto • London Dungeon • Tortured elves and spit-roasting robins.
• Trafalgar Square Christmas Tree • Trafalgar Square • The only thing everyone knows about Oslo.
• Aegon Masters Tennis • Royal Albert Hall • Former World No.1s wheeze their way through a tournament.
• Peter Pan Cup • Serpentine Lido, Hyde Park • Freeze your nipples off on Christmas morning.
• Great Christmas Pudding Race • Covent Garden • We’re mad, us! What are we like? Crazy!
• Christmas Carol Sing-along • Royal Albert Hall • Belt out your favourites and get in the mood.
• Christmas Carol Sing-along • Royal Albert Hall • Belt out your favourites and get in the mood.
• Taste of Christmas • ExCel Exhibition Centre • Tasty tips for making Christmas that little merrier.
• Midnight Mass at St Paul’s • St Paul’s • Eats the other Midnight Masses for breakfast.
• New Year’s Eve Fireworks • Jubilee Gardens • Oooooh. And, of course, aaaaaaah.
| General Information • Flat Hunting |
Tactics
Finding somewhere to live in London is a ruthless and cutthroat business. Make sure you have plenty of red bull, cigarettes and patience. However, places go in the blink of an eye so it’s important to move quick. Take a week off and hire a driver, if you can.
Ok, so these precautions aren’t completely necessary, but you will have to work in mysterious and multifarious ways if you don’t want to spend the next six months paying through your gullible nose for mice and verrucas. A good place to start by harassing your friends, your friends’ friends, and your friends’ friends’ friends. Send out a group email and hope it gets passed around, and make sure you Tweet like mad about it. Twitter is a great place to get your request passed around. Who knows? Stephen Fry might have a room to let. Estate agents (see below for a list) will invariably try and rip you off but, then again, so will everyone else, so it’s worth registering with all the big ones, as well as any whose office you see in the street, or you spot in newspapers, on TV or the internet. After uncovering a fair few completely brazen lies in the property listings on www.gumtree.com you will find that many of the smaller businesses place adverts for (sometimes fake) properties here. Don’t be put off by the lies though, because this can be a good way of finding an agent (or getting in direct contact with a landlord) who is keen to make a deal with you, or who will try and match the prices advertised, even if they have nothing that fits the bill at the exact moment of lying. Of course, some of these listings are also genuine, and a good way to find rooms/apartments at lower than usual rates. Just bare in mind that a LOT of people use this site.
General sites
Estate Agents
There are hundreds of Estate Agents and Letting Agents across the city, some of the larger players (good and bad) include:
www.keatons.com - Offices all over London.
www.keatons.co.uk - Bow, Hackney, Harringey, Kentish Town, Stratford.
www.blackkatz.com - Lettings only agency, numerous offices.
www.fjlord.co.uk - Numerous offices, specialise in uncooperative staff.
www.nelsonslettings.com - South and central London.
www.atkinsonmcleod.com - City and Docklands.
If you do end up using an agent, they will of course want to charge you an additional fee beyond any deposits or advance rent required by the landlord. But, as many of the agents in central London are close together, it’s possible that they may be competing with each other to sell/rent the same properties. This will enable you to get a better deal. So shop around, be devious, and backstab as much as possible.
Council Tax
Council Tax is an annoying hidden cost that always comes as a bit of a surprise. It is worked out by your local council and is based on the value of your house/flat, which the council will already have placed in to one of 8 tax bands (bands are A–G, G covering the most valuable properties). There are several ways to determine the value of a property, but the easiest is probably to go to the website of the valuation office at www.voa.gov.uk. Having done that, it’s possible to weigh up the benefits of different areas by comparing the council tax in equivalent bands charged by different local councils. It’s fairly laborious, but worth it in the long run, if you can be bothered.
Because council tax is based on the property, not the people inside it, the rate is constant no matter how many people live in the house. This means that it’s much cheaper to live in a big house with lots of people to split the tax with, than on your own, when you are liable for the full amount. Students do not have to pay council tax at all, but if they are sharing with one or more non-students then there will still be council tax to pay. A single non-student in a house full of students receives a 25% discount on his/her council tax bill, but if there is more than one non-student then all non-students are liable to pay full whack.
Deposit Information
The deposit is the necessary bank drain of every new tendency agreement. Typically deposits range from one – three months rent in advance, but if you pay over a two-month deposit you are entitled to special privileges including the right to sublet your space. If you can’t afford the financial outlay there are other options available to you; it is possible to get involved with the Deposit Guarantee Scheme (you will need to contact your local council for more information), or independent agencies offer a similar service for a 10% - 20% fee. While not all landlords in London are Ebenezer Scrooge pre hallucination-esque you’ll still hear your fair share of horror stories. Make sure you use the Deposit Protection Scheme (DPS) www.depositprotection.com to protect your cash. For a comprehensive overview on deposit information and your rights visit the Direct Gov website www.direct.gov.uk.
Alternative Options
In a city where house prices have been soaring through the roof for some time now (although it’s calmed down somewhat recently), of course people do things like squat, have dreadlocks and go vegan. If you’re not willing to go the whole way but fancy an adventure, or simply don’t have much money, then it might be worth taking a look at being a guardian for Camelot. This company aims to fill vacant properties with responsible people who will prevent them from being abused. You must have good references, a job, and be over eighteen, as well as be ok with sharing with an indeterminate number of strangers, but the benefits are the unusual properties (e.g. schools, disused churches), the often large spaces and the ridiculously cheap rent (£25–60 pw inclusive of all bills). Of course loads of people want to do this and properties in London are not always available, but it’s nevertheless a good idea to keep an eye on their site if the idea excites you: website: uk.cameloteurope.com.
WAREHOUSES
As with Starbucks and obesity, us Brits have finally caught on to the American craze for warehouse ‘live/work’ spaces. Okay we may have had the likes of Tracey Emin and other artists living in old carpet factories since the YBA days, but recently a whole crop of established estate agents have been refurbishing lofts and factories for letting at a premium. Any established warehouser will tell you the way to go is independent, through enthusiastic urban explorers who renovate and convert these old buildings for love and enjoyment. Often the only way into this secret brotherhood of the leaky roof is by simply ending up at a huge party at 4am in one of these spaces and asking the residents politely. The freedom of living in these places can be exhilirating if you’ve spent years toeing the line with grumpy neighbours and grumpier landlords.
CANAL-BOATS
If all this land lubbing is bringing you down, there’s always the option of dropping anchor at Little Venice or the Lea Valley Harbour and sampling London’s canal networks. More and more skint artsy fartsy folk are squeezing their possessions into canal boats and living a romantic life on the water. A casual stroll down Regent’s Canal may convince you this is the way to live, but bare in mind the hidden cons of London nautical life: mooring fees, fuel, unlit walks down leafy paths frequented by degenerates…Don’t say we didn’t warn you!
| General Information • For the Kids |
The Best of the Best
London is full of interactive children’s pursuits, and nothing beats discovering all the joys that the city has to offer to the little ones, so we thought we’d give you some inside tips on what there is!
• Best Rainy Day Activity: The Science Museum (Exhibition Road, SW7 2DD, 0870 870 4868) is great fun and one of London’s most interactive museums. Don’t miss the Launchpad gallery, which is full of hands-on exhibits to tinker with, simulators and a face morphing machine. The museum’s occasional Science Nights are activity filled, with overnight camping in the building included. Entry is free. Open 7 days a week from 10am to 6pm.
• Coolest Cinema: The BFI London IMAX Cinema (1 Charlie Chaplin Walk, SE1 8XR, 020 7902 1234) has the largest screen (20 metres) in the country, as well as an 11,600-watt digital surround sound system with which to deafen your children. With most of the cinema’s 3D programming dedicated to children’s films, they’ll be spoilt rotten by the whole experience; even the entrance to the place is cool, with futuristic blue lighting paving your way through the tunnels.
• Goriest Tourist Haunt: The London Dungeon (28-34 Tooley Street, SE1 2SZ, 020 7403 7221) specialises in the darker side of English history and has a preponderance of gruesome waxworks, theme rides and costumed staff to scare the bejesus out of your children, which they’ll love (unless you’ve brought them up to be soft). Open all week from 11am to 5pm.
• Best Tour For Budding Media Moguls: The BBC Television Centre Tour (Wood Lane, W12 7RJ, 0870 603 0304) provides a chance for children 9 and over to take a behind the scenes look at the world of TV, as well as a chance to play in an interactive studio. A separate tour (ages 7 and over) entitled “The CBBC Experience” is based on the BBC’s kids’ channel and offers visitors the chance to roam around the Blue Peter garden, amongst other things. Regular tours are conducted every day except Sunday.
• Best Ice Cream: It’s no secret that kids love ice cream, but the plethora of dodgy “Mr Whippy” vans selling their frozen wares in London can be improved upon. For outstanding homemade gourmet sorbets and exotic ice cream cones, there is no better place than the kiosk to the side of Golders Hill Park Refreshment House (North End Road, NW3 7HD, 020 8455 8010); prices are very reasonable and the park is a gorgeous setting within which to consume such tasty delights.
• Best Inner City Farm: Hackney City Farm (1a Goldsmiths Row, E2 8QA, 020 7729 6381). You don’t want your child to be the one hiding on the bus on their first fieldtrip because they’ve never seen a cow. Hackney City Farm gives children and adults alike the chance to experience farming first-hand, interact with the animals and understand sustainable living, all of this in the heart of Hackney.
• Best For Halloween Costumes: Escapade (45-46 Chalk Farm Road, NW1 8AJ, 020 7485 7384) has been kitting kids out in all manner of costumes since 1982, and offers wigs (maybe one for Dad?), hats, masks, make-up, jokes and magic tricks. Perfect for trick or treat, or for those already bored of their child’s ugly face.
• Best Eatery For Families: Maxwell’s (8-9 James Street, WC2E 8BH) lies deep in the heart of Covent Garden and specialises in burgers (does any child not like burgers?) which won’t break parents’ banks. A kids’ menu is provided, as well as activities and games.
Rainy Day Activities
Especially for when the infamous London weather puts a dampener on outdoor activities…
• Cartoon Museum (35 Little Russell Street, WC1A 2HH, 020 7580 8155) This fascinating place archives the development of cartoon art in Britain, from the 18th century through to the present day; best of all, the Young Artists’ Gallery lets children try their hands at animation and claymation.
• London Aquarium (County Hall, Westminster Bridge Road, SE1 7PB, 020 7967 8000) One of the largest aquariums in the world, over 400 species of aquatic life (including the only zebra sharks in the U.K.) can be found within this building. With three floors, piranhas, and pools where you can prod things, there’s more than enough to keep even the most jaded parent happy.
• London Eye (Jubilee Gardens, South Bank, SE1 7PB, 0870 500 0600) This 135-metre high riverside Ferris wheel offers breathtaking views of London in up to 25 miles in each direction, all from the vantage point of an air-conditioned glass pod. Book online to beat the queues.
• Natural History Museum (Cromwell Road, SW7 5BD, 020 7942 5000) Ever wanted to see a replica skeleton of a 26-metre long Diplodocus dinosaur? It’s one of the 70 million items housed within this excellent museum, which also includes the Darwin Centre, a must for any budding paleontologists; non-nerds should love it too.
• Madame Tussaud’s (Marylebone Road, NW1 5LR, 0870 999 0046) Infamous exhibition of waxworks, with recently introduced interactive exhibits giving you the chance to score a goal for England or sing with Britney Spears (she’ll be the one lip-syncing). Worth booking online to avoid the often long queues.
• Museum Of London (150 London Wall, EC2Y 5HN, 0870 444 3852, some galleries undergoing renovation and due to re-open late 2009) Explains the history of London in vivid detail; the innovative layout consists of a chain of chronological galleries (no skipping to 1945, OK?) Also has fragments of the old London Wall in the grounds.
• Peter Harrison Planetarium (Royal Observatory Greenwich, Greenwich Park, SE10 9NF, 020 8312 8565) Open since 2007 and the only planetarium in London seats 120 and uses the latest technology to take you on an armchair tour of the universe. Children aged 4 and under will not be admitted.
• Queens Ice And Bowl (17 Queensway, W2 4QP, 020 7229 0172) An ice rink, ten pin bowling alleys and a pizza restaurant, it’s the perfect opportunity for kids to stuff their faces whilst watching their Dad break a bone on the rink. Children’s skating classes available.
• Topsy Turvy World (Brent Cross Shopping Centre, Prince Charles Drive, NW4 3FP, 020 8359 9920) A huge indoor playground in the middle of one of London’s busiest shopping centres. There’s more to this place than just bouncy things and over-excitement, it also offers baking activities (might as well get your children cooking for you early) and various classes.
• Tower Of London (Tower Hill, EC3N 4AB, 0870 756 7070) A cornucopia of royal history and English culture lies within the Tower’s ancient walls, with royal jewels aplenty. Good for the whole family, and under 5s get in free. Avoid the queues by booking ahead.
• The V&A Museum Of Childhood (Cambridge Heath Road, E2 9PA, 020 8983 5200) This lesser known gem of the Victoria & Albert Museum houses the national childhood collection, which basically means it’s full of toys, games, dolls, dollhouses, nursery antiques and children’s costumes. There’s no shortage of activities and events going on here to keep your kids occupied, and it’s free.
Classes
A recent resurgence in the amount of out of school programmes being implemented in the capital means that there’s more for your kids to do than ever before.
• Art Club (Orleans House Gallery, Riverside, TW1 3DJ, 020 8831 6000) A rare opportunity for 5-10 year olds to work with practicing artists and explore new techniques and materials. Every Wednesday and Thursday from 3.45-5pm.
• Barnsbury One O’Clock Club (Barnard Park, Hemingford Road, N1 0JU, 020 7278 9494) Fun and games for the under 5s.
• Brixton Recreation Centre (27 Brixton Station Road, SW9 8QQ, 020 7926 9779) Recently refurbished, this centre includes The Energy Zone (ages 5-15) for ball games and The Fitness Zone (ages 8-15) with SHOKK fitness equipment specifically designed for the younger body builder/steroid abuser.
• Camden Square Play Centre (Camden Square, NW1 9RE, 020 7485 6827) After school (and school holiday) centre with fun activities for children aged 4-12.
• Camden Swiss Cottage Swimming Club (Swiss Cottage Leisure Centre, Winchester Road, NW3 3NR, 020 7974 5440) Swimming lessons for children aged 4 and upward.
• Chang’s Hapkido Academy (Topnotch Health Club, 3 Tudor Street, EC4Y 0AH, 07951 535876) Martial arts school with classes for ages 12 and upward.
• The Circus Space (Coronet Street, N1 6HD, 020 7613 4141) Prepare your children for a life in the circus with The Circus Space’s variety of classes and workshops for all ages.
• Crazee Kids (Jackson Lane Community Centre, Archway Road, N6 5AA, Tuesdays), (Union Church & Community Centre, Weston Park, N8 9TA, Saturdays) 020 8444 5333, Weekly term-time dance, drama and music classes. Summer workshops.
• Harringay Club (Hornsey YMCA, 50 Tottenham Lane, N8 7EE, 020 8348 2124) A range of things to do for those aged up to 15, including a pre-school programme, gymnastics, ballet, street dance and kickboxing.
• The Kids’ Cookery School (107 Gunnersbury Len W3 8HQ, 020 8992 8882) Get your kids cooking at this fine venue which offers classes and workshops for those aged 3 and upwards.
• Kite Art Studios (Priory Mews, 2B Bassein Park Road, W12 9RY, 020 8576 6278) Courses and workshops on painting, pottery and jewellery making amongst other fun activities for kids of all ages. Mother and toddler sessions too.
• London Irish Centre (50-52 Camden Square, NW1 9XB, 020 7916 7222) Irish dancing classes for beginners upwards, every Monday at 6pm, courtesy of the Barrett Semple-Morris School.
• The Little Angel Theatre (14 Dagmar Passage, Cross Street, N1 2DN, 020 7226 1787) Children’s theatre offering after-school courses in puppet making, the art of puppetry performance and a Saturday Puppet Club.
• The Little Gym (Compass House, Riverside West, Smugglers Way, SW18 1DB, 020 8874 6567) Gymnastics and skills development within a relaxed environment for children aged up to 12.
• Music House For Children (Bush Hall, 310 Uxbridge Road, W12 7LJ, 020 8932 2652) Whether it’s instrumental or singing lessons, this wonderful place can provide individual and group tuition and even caters for 1 year olds!
• Painted Earth (Arch 65, The Catacombs, Stables Market, NW1 8AH, 020 7424 8983) Ceramic arts classes supervised by staff. Children can make their own mugs and plates.
• Pirate Castle (Oval Road, NW1 7EA, 020 7267 6605) Kids can canoe or Kayak around Camden’s only castle at this outdoor adventure club, which moonlights as a school and youth services centre.
• Richmond Junior Chess Club (ETNA Community Centre, 13 Rosslyn Road, TW1 2AR, 07720 716336) Chess classes with a mixture of instruction and play for those up to the age of 18.
• Sobell Leisure Centre (Hornsey Road, N7 7NY, 020 7609 2166) No need to book, just turn up for coached sessions in basketball, badminton, football and ice hockey amongst other sports. Children aged 7 and under must be accompanied by an adult.
• Tricycle Theatre (269 Kilburn High Road, NW6 7JR, 020 7328 1000) Not just a theatre/cinema/gallery, the Tricycle also runs term-time workshops in drama, storytelling and music.
• Triyoga (6 Erskine Road, NW3 3AJ, 020 7483 3344) Let the kids get their Zen on at after school yoga classes for ages 5 and over.
• Westway Stables (20 Stable Way, Latimer Road, W11 6QX, 020 8964 2140) Horse riding lessons for the over 5s in the heart of Notting Hill.
Babysitting/Nanny/Services
• Nannies Unlimited 11 Chelveton Road, SW15 1RN, 020 8788 9640
• Nanny Search 1st Floor, 1 Shepherds Hill, N6 5QJ, 020 8348 4111
• Sleeptight Nannies 20 Nursery Road, N14 5QB, 020 8292 2618
• Top Notch Nannies 49 Harrington Gardens, SW7 4JU, 020 7259 2626
Where to Go for More Info
Shopping Essentials
• Baby Dior 6 Harriet Street, SW1X 9JW, 020 7823 2039 – Encourage label envy as soon as possible.
• Baby Munchkins 186 Hoxton Street, N1 5LH, 020 7684 5994 – Baby wear.
• Balloonland 12 Hale Lane, NW7 3NX, 020 8906 3302 – Balloons and party supplies.
• Benjamin Pollock’s Toyshop 44 The Piazza, Covent Garden WC2E 8RF, 020 7379 7866 – Toys.
• Biff 43 Dulwich Village, SE21 7BN, 020 8299 0911 – Designer and street brands.
• Boomerang 69 Blythe Road, W14 0HP, 020 7610 5232 – Clothes and necessities for tots.
• Bonpoint Chic clothes.
17 Victoria Grove, W8 5RW – 020 7584 5131
197 Westbourne Grove, W11 2SE – 020 7792 2515
256 Brompton Road, SW3 2AS – 020 3263 5057
35B Sloane Street, SW1X 9LP – 020 7235 1441
38 Old Bond Street, W1S 4QW – 020 7495 1680
• Burberry 21-23 New Bond Street, W1S 2RE, 020 7839 5222 – Clothes.
• Caramel 291 Brompton Road, SW3 2DY, 020 7589 7001 – Cool clothes.
• Catamini – Babies and children’s clothes. 33C King’s Road, SW3 4LX – 020 7824 8897, 52 South Molton Street, W1Y 1HF – 020 7629 8099
• Cheeky Monkeys – Mainly wooden toys. 202 Kensington Park Road, W11 1NR – 020 7792 9022, 94 Kings Road, SW6 4UL – 020 7731 3037
• Children’s Book Centre 237 Kensington High Street, W8 6SA, 020 7937 7497 – Books.
• Coco Children’s Boutique 27A Devonshire Street, W1G 6PN, 020 7935 3554 – Children’s boutique (fancy that!).
• D2 Leisure 201-203 Roman Road, E2 0QY, 020 8980 4966 – Bicycle shop.
• Daisy & Tom 181 King’s Road, SW3 5EB, 020 7352 5000 – Clothes, toys and a carousel.
• Davenports Magic Shop 7 Adelaide Street, WC2N 4HZ, 020 7836 0408 – Magic shop.
• Early Learning Centre 36 King’s Road, SW3 4UD, 020 7581 5764 – Educational toyshop.
• Disney Store – Disney merchandise.
Unit 10, The Piazza, WC2E 8HD – 020 7836 5037
22A & 26 The Broadway Shopping Centre, W6 9YD – 020 8748 8886
360-366 Oxford Street, W1N 9HA – 020 7491 9136
• Eric Snook’s Toyshop 32 Covent Garden Market, WC1 8RE, 020 7379 7681 – Toys and teddies.
• Escapade 45-46 Chalk Farm Road, NW1 8AJ, 020 7485 7384 – Costumes and masks.
• The Farmyard 63 Barnes High Street, SW13 9LF, 020 8878 7338 – Toys for younger children and babies.
• GapKids/Baby Gap
35 Hampstead High Street, NW3 1QE – 020 7794 9182
146-148 Regent Street, W1B 5SH – 020 7287 5095
Brent Cross Shopping Centre, NW4 3FB – 020 8203 9696
122 King’s Road, SW3 4TR – 020 7823 7272
4 Queens Road, SW19 8YE- 020 8947 9074
101-111 Kensington High Street, W8 5SA – 020 7368 2900
260-262 Chiswick High Road, W4 1PD – 020 8995 3255
47-49 St John’s Wood High Street, NW8 7NJ – 020 7586 6123
151 Queensway, W2 4YL – 020 7221 8039
330-340 Cabot Place East, E14 4QT – 020 7513 0241
121-123 Long Acre, WC2E 9PA – 020 7836 0646
• Green Rabbit 20 Briston Grove, N8 9EX, 020 8348 3770 – Contemporary kids’ wear.
• Hamley’s 188-196 Regent Street, W1B 5BT, 020 7153 9000 – Toys galore, tourists galore.
• Happy Returns 36 Rosslyn Hill, NW3 1NH, 020 7435 2431 – Toys again!
• Honeyjam 267 Portobello Road, W11 1LR, 020 7243 0449 – Retro and vintage toys and rocking horses.
• Igloo Kids Wide range of kids’ clothes. 300 Upper Street, N1 2TU – 020 7354 7300, 80 St John’s Wood, NW8 7SH – 020 7483 2332
• Infantasia Unit 103 Wood Green Shopping City, N22 6YA, 020 8889 1494 – Furniture and bedding.
• International Magic 89 Clerkenwell Road, EC1R 5BX, 020 7405 7324 – Magic shop.
• Joujou & Lucy 32 Clifton Road, W9 1ST, 020 7289 0866 – Children’s boutique.
• Kent & Carey 154 Wandsworth Bridge Road, SW6 2UH, 020 7736 5554 – Classic children’s clothes.
• Little Stinkies 15 Victoria Grove, W8 5RW, 020 7052 0077 – Dolls’ houses, toys and puppet theatres.
• Marie Chantal 148 Walton Street, SW3 2JJ, 020 7838 1111 – Children’s fashion.
• MIMMO 602 Fulham Road, SW6 5PA, 020 7731 4706 – Designer duds.
• Mothercare – The leading chain for baby stuff in the UK; will sell you everything but the baby.
Brent Cross Shopping Centre, NW4 3FD – 020 8202 5377
416 Brixton Road, SW9 7AY – 020 7733 1494
Unit 7, The Waterglade Centre, 1-8 The Broadway, W5 2ND – 0208 579 6181
Ravenside Retail Park, Angel Road, N18 3HA – 020 8807 5518
146 High Street, SE9 1BJ – 020 8859 7957
4 Palace Gardens, EN2 6SN – 020 8367 1188
316 North End Road, SW6 1NG – 020 7381 6387
Kings Mall Shopping Centre, W6 0PZ – 020 8600 2860
448 Holloway Road, N7 6QA – 020 7607 0915
112 High Street, TW3 1NA – 020 8577 1767
Unit 1A, Richmond Retail Park, Mortlake Road, Kew – 020 8878 3758
41 Riverdale High Street, SE13 7EP – 020 8852 2167
526-528 Oxford Street, W1C 1LW – 0845 365 0515
Unit 2, Aylesham Centre, Rye Lane, SE15 5EW – 020 7358 0093
33-34 The Mall, E15 1XD – 020 8534 5714
BHS Surrey Quays Shopping Centre, Redriff Road, SE16 7LL – 020 7237 2025
Unit 59, Southside Shopping Centre, SW18 4TF – 020 8877 4180
Unit Lsu4, Centre Court, SW19 8YA – 020 8944 5296
38-40 High Road, N22 6BX – 020 8888 6920
62 Powis Street, SE18 1LQ – 020 8854 3540
• Never Never Land 3 Mildhurst Parade, Fortis Green, N10 3EJ, 020 883 3997 – Toys and dolls.
• Olive Loves Alfie 84 Stoke Newington Church Street, N16 0AP, 020 7241 4212 – Children’s lifestyle boutique.
• Patrick’s Toys & Models 107 Lillie Road, SW6 7SX, 020 7385 9864 – Outdoor games and equipment.
• Patrizia Wigan 19 Walton Street, SW3 2HX, 020 7823 7080 – Clothing boutique.
• Petit Bateau 62 South Molton Street, W1K 5SR, 020 7491 4498 – Luxurious baby wear.
• Petite Ange 6 Harriet Street, SW1X 9JW, 020 7235 7737 – Exclusive clothing.
• Please Mum 85 Knightsbridge, SW1X 7RB, 020 7486 1380 – Expensive clothing.
• Pom D’Api 3 Blenheim Crescent, W11 2EE, 020 7243 0535 – Classy shoes.
• QT Toys 90 Northcote Road, SW11 6QN, 020 7223 8637 – Toys, games and gifts.
• Rachel Riley 14 Pont Street, SW1X 9EN, 020 7935 7007 – Clothes.
• Rainbow 253 Archway Road, N6 5BS, 020 8340 9700 – Toys, games and clothes.
• Showroom 64 Titchfield Street, W1W 7QH, 020 7636 2501 – Funky children’s clothes.
• Soup Dragon 27 Topsfield Parade, Tottenham Lane, N8 8PT, 020 8348 0224 – Toys and clothes.
• The Shoe Station 3 Station Approach, Kew Gardens, TW9 3QB, 020 8940 9905 – Shoes and footwear.
• Their Nibs 214 Kensington Park Road, W11 1NR, 020 7221 4263 – Designer clothes and bedding.
• Tots 39 Turnham Green Terrace, W4 1RG, 020 8995 0520 – Clothes boutique.
• Toys R Us - Toys, toys, toys.
Tilling Road (opposite Brent Cross Shopping Centre), NW2 1LW – 020 8209 0019
Great Cambridge Road, EN1 3RN – 020 8364 6600
Hayes Road, UB2 5LN – 020 8561 4681
760 Old Kent Road, SE15 1NJ – 020 7732 7322
• Traditional Toys Chelsea Green, 53 Godfrey Street, SW3 3SX, 020 7352 1718 – Timeless toys.
• The Little White Company 261 Pavillion Road, SW1X 0BP, 020 7881 0783 – Clothing, bed linen and furniture.
| General Information • Internet & WiFi |
For many, the Internet is the key to the city. Before the dawning of the Internet, we Dickensian scamps had to scurry around in the filth foraging for information in ‘books’ and by talking to actual ‘people’. Now that the future is here, Londoners can navigate their city’s streets, explore its dark history, organise a debauched weekend in Chiswick or, as is more likely, peer over the shoulder of men in raincoats in Internet Cafes.
Internet Cafes are everywhere. In fact you probably live in one. They can range from the dimly lit ‘Money Transfer’ shacks that have an air of illegality, to chains that dominated the market before home internet use skyrocketed in the late 90s. To be fair, internet use in these places is usually criminally cheap: as low as 50p per hour in the non-tourist areas. For a large list of London internet cafes check out: www.allinlondon.co.uk/directory/1166.php.
London was one crowned WiFi capital of the world, owing to its astronomical rate of increase in WiFi networks in 2007. Today, it is difficult to move in your local cafe without catching the edge of a laptop. The Apostrophe Cafe chain is efficient, expensive and has WiFi as standard, but if you wish to cook your internal organs with your MacBook you can do so in hundreds of cafes across London. An alternative to those of you who have joined the growing legion of smartphone users and don’t want the commitment of a long-term contract try Gifgaff (www.giffgaff.com). For £10 you can get 250 minutes, unlimited texts and unlimited data for a month with no additional cost incurred. They offer a best in business rate for the Internet addicts among you.
Useful and/or Fun London Links
www.notfortourists.com/London.aspx
www.london-underground.blogspot.com
www.westlondonblogger.blogspot.com
www.dalstonoxfamshop.blogspot.com
www.londonreviewofbreakfasts.blogspot.com
| General Information • LGBT |
The doom-sayers have less cause to complain about the decline of Gayhood in London recently, what with Heaven (London’s self-proclaimed most famous gay club) hanging on and new nights popping up everywhere. Yes, popular indie discos Popstarz and Rebel Rebel have relocated but Girl’s Action at Ghetto promises great things and we are so in love with ‘polysexual’ club Dalston Supermarket at the moment. Of course every time one door (read: gay club) closes another one opens, and let’s face it, the latter will probably open later and sell you even cheaper Red Bull and vodka.
One of the most exciting developments in the past few years has been the advent of what has been dubbed London’s new ‘Gay Village’—the cluster of clubs, saunas and after-hours hangover incubators that have sprung up in Vauxhall. Now it’s possible, though still just as inadvisable, to party from Thursday through to Tuesday without stopping to reapply deodorant, or think about the consequences of what you’re doing—hooray. The small outcrop of gay and ‘polysexual’ nights in the East End, is still thriving, and offers another refreshing alternative to Soho for those in search of an aggressive fashion consciousness and a less cruisy atmosphere. This said, if you can handle bright lights, pop music, tight t-shirts and a lot of hair gel, you’ll still have massive amounts of fun around Soho and Old Compton Street, the traditional central London gay epicentre. This area is always buzzing, day and night, and is a great place to sit back and do some people watching as well as to go out and, y’know, go crazy.
For girls there is still room for improvement, with options fewer and less centralised, but The Minories’ new Girls’ night is a blast and the continuing women-only nights at Village and Element are cause for celebration. Many mixed and polysexual nights (such as Motherfucker at Barden’s Boudoir) also draw large female crowds, and though dedicated lesbian bars and clubs are few and far between, there is enough going on in the city to make any day of the week a possible night out.
Websites
www.dirtydirtydancing.com - Super-airbrushed photos from many of the trendier Soho and east London nights.
http://scene-out.com - Comprehensive mainstream scene guide.
www.gingerbeer.co.uk - Lesbian guide to London.
www.girlguidelondon.co.uk - Does what it says on the tin.
www.gmfa.org.uk - Gay men’s health charity.
www.patroc.com/london/clubs.html-Great source for upcoming gay events.
www.pinkdate.com - Speed dating events for gay men and women in central London.
Publications
The following are all free listings/scene magazines that can be found in most gay shops and venues (anywhere on Old Compton Street should have some copies lying around):
Boyz Magazine - Weekly scene news and listings, out Thursdays. www.boyz.co.uk
G3 Magazine - Lesbian scene, monthly. www.g3mag.co.uk
Out in the City Mag - Monthly London lifestyle magazine for gay men. www.outmag.co.uk
Qx Magazine - Gay men’s mag. www.qxmagazine.com
Shops
Gay’s the Word, 66 Marchmont Street, WC1N 1AB, 020 7278 7654, http://freespace.virgin.net/gays.theword/, The only dedicated Gay and Lesbian Bookshop in London, recently threatened by rising rent. Visit whilst it’s still there!
Prowler, 5–7 Brewer Street, W1F 0RF, 020 7734 4031, The ultimate gay men’s shop, stocking everything from (skimpy) clothes to sex toys plus mountains of lube, pornography, and the other usual suspects.
Sh! Women’s Erotic Emporium, 57 Hoxton Square N1 6PD, 020 7697 9072, http://www.sh-womenstore.com/, London’s only female-orientated sex shop, run by women, for women.
Sexual Health
A comprehensive list of London clinics that offer same day HIV testing and PEP treatments for gay/bisexual men is available at www.gmfa.org.uk/londonservices/clinics. CLASH, below, is particularly recommended.
CLASH (Central London Action on Street Health), 11 Warwick Street, W1B 5NA, 020 7734 1794, Friday night clinic for gay men, with incredibly friendly staff who will offer comfort and advice. Same day (often instant) HIV testing, PEP treatment. Fridays, 5 - 8.30pm, call for an appointment.
Support Organizations
Again, a more comprehensive list can be found at the GMFA website: www.gmfa.org.uk/londonservices/support-groups/index
Stonewall, Tower Building, York Road, SE1 7NX, www.stonewall.org.uk, Gay rights charity and lobbying group.
PACE Youthwork Service, 34 Hartham Road, N7 9LJ, 020 7700 1323, www.outzone.org, Support organization for gay and lesbian youths under 25. Organizes regular social events and offers one to one consultations with advisors: phone or visit the website to get involved.
London Friend, 86 Caledonian Road, N1 9DN, 020 7833 1674, www.londonfriend.org.uk, Voluntary organization which runs several helplines, group workshops and social events, as well as offering advice on reporting hate crime.
London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard, 0300 330 0630, www.llgs.org.uk, Counselling and information service.
Kairos in Soho, Unit 10, 10-11 Archer Street, W1D 7AZ, 020 7437 6063, www.kairosinsoho.org.uk, Gay and lesbian charity which organises a variety of recreational events to promote the health, well being and development of the LGBT community.
Naz Project London, Palingswick House, 241 King Street, W6 9LP, 020 8741 1879 www.naz.org.uk, Charity that organizes support and sexual health services for black and ethnic minority communities in London. Various services, including free one-on-one counselling and support groups are available, phone or check website for details.
GALOP, PO Box 32810, N1 3ZD, 020 7704 6767, www.galop.org.uk, Charity specialising in advice about reporting hate crime.
Annual Events
Pride London, www.pridelondon.org, Large pride festival, takes place every July.
GFEST – www.gaywisefestival.org.uk, London’s premier cross-arts festival, GFEST features a variety of established and new LBG&T artists. The festival promotes the queer arts scene while keeping LBGT human rights the underlying focus of proceedings.
London Lesbian and Gay Film Festival, www.bfi.org.uk/llgff, Film festival at the BFI on South Bank, March–April.
London LGBT History Month, www.lgbthistorymonth.co.uk, Nationwide awareness month, with various talks and events staged in London, every February.
Gay/Mixed Venues
Soho:
79CXR, 79 Charing Cross Road, WC2H 0NE, 020 7734 0769, Dingy bar with middle aged crowd.
The Admiral Duncan, 54 Old Compton Street, W1D 4UB, 020 7437 5300
Barcode Soho, 3-4 Archer Street W1D 7AT, 020 7734 3342
Box, 32–34 Monmouth Street, WC2H 9HA, 020 7240 5828, Civilised bar and eatery.
Comptons, 53–57 Old Compton Street, W1D 6HN, 020 7479 7961, Crammed gay pub.
Duke of Wellington, 77 Wardour Street, W1D 6QA
The Edge, 11 Soho Square, W1D 3QF, 020 7439 1313
G-A-Y Bar, 30 Old Compton Street, W1D 5JX, 020 7494 2756, Poptastic bunker. Video walls and cheap drinks.
G-A-Y Late, 5 Goslett Yard, WC2H 0ER, 020 7734 9858, Cheap drinks and pop videos wipe out brain functions ‘til 3am.
Ghetto, Falconberg Court, W1D 3AB, 020 7287 3726, Loud electro at this busy gay club. Thursday is ladies night.
Halfway to Heaven, 7 Duncannon Street, WC2N 4JF, 020 7321 2791.
Heaven, Under the Arches, Villiers Street, WC2N 6NG, 020 7930 2020, Legendary gay club. An institution.
Ku Bar, 30 Lisle Street, WC2H 7BA, 020 7437 4303, Newly relocated bar for the young and clueless.
Kudos, 10 Adelaide Street, WC2N 4HZ, 020 7379 4573
Profile, 56–57 Frith Street, W1D 3JG, 020 7734 8300
Shadow Lounge, 5 Brewer Street, W1F, 020 7439 4089, Supposed to be a shi-shi cocktail lounge. Hmmmm.
Soho Revue Bar, 11 Walkers Court, Brewer Street, W1F 0ED, Cabaret acts followed by dancing ‘til late.
The Village, 81 Wardour Street, W1D 6QD, 020 7434 2124, Tacky, flirtatious bar spread across two floors.
Trash Palace, 11 Wardour Street, W1D 6PG, 020 7734 0522, Bratty queer indie bar.
North:
Cosmo Lounge, 43 Essex Road, N1 2SF, 020 7688 0051, Subdued bar, normally full of regulars.
Central Station, 37 Wharfdale Road, N1 9SD, 020 7278 3294. Pub/club with ominously blacked out windows.
The Green, 74 Upper Street N1 0NY, 0871 971 4097, Innocuous gay bar/restaurant frequented by many unsuspecting straight couples.
King Edward VI Pub, 25 Bromfield Street, N1 0PZ
The Black Cap, 171 Camden High Street, NW1 7JY, 020 7428 2721, Slightly crummy gay pub.
East:
Bistrotheque, 23–27 Wadeson Street, E2 9DR, Jonny Woo’s restaurant, great food and drag acts.
The Black Horse, 168 Mile End Road, E1 4LJ, 020 7790 1684
George and Dragon, 2 Hackney Road, E2 7NS, Small, atmospheric pub full of trendy boys and girls.
Joiners Arms, 116–118, Hackney Road, E2 7Q, Late opening free-for-all with a wonderfully mixed crowd. (‘til 2/3am most nights)
South:
Area, 67–68 Albert Embankment, SE1 7TP
Barcode Vauxhall, 69 Albert Embankment, 020 7582 4180
The Two Brewers, 114 Clapham High Street, SW4 7UJ, 020 7498 4971
Depot, 66 Albert Embankment, SE11 7TP, Sister club of Area, with a more cruisy vibe.
Fire, South Lambeth Road, SW8 1RT, 020 7434 1113, The quintessential Vauxhall club. Open pretty much forever, bulging muscles everywhere.
The Fort, 131 Grange Road, Bermondsey, SE1 3AL - Themed cruising/fetish/sex bar.
Kazbar Clapham, 50 Clapham High Street, SW4 7UL, 020 7622 0070
Little Apple Bar, 98 Kennington Lane, SE11 4XD Mixed/lesbian bar.
The Powder Monkey, 22 King William Walk, SE10 PHU, 020 8293 5928, thepowdermonkey.net
Royal Vauxhall Tavern, 372 Kennington Lane, SE11 5HY, 020 7820 1222
South Central, 349 Kennington Lane, SE11 5QY, 020 7793 0903
Substation South, 9 Brighton Terrace, SW9 8DJ, 020 7737 2095
XXL, 51–53 Southwark Street, SE1 1TE, www.fatsandsmalls.com, Busy bear club.
West:
Bromptons, 294 Old Brompton Road, SW5 9JF, 020 77370 1344
The Coleherne, 261 Old Brompton Road, SW5 9JA020 7244 5951
Recommended Nights
Club Motherfucker, second Saturdays @ Barden’s Boudoir, 38 Stoke Newington Road, Dalston, N16 7XJ, Polysexual band night. Sweaty, noisy, very much about the music.
Circus, Fridays @ Soho Revue Bar, 11 Walkers Court, Brewer Street, W1F 0ED, Drag Queen Jodie Harsh’s long running night attracts its fair share of celebrities from both on and off the scene. Get there early or be prepared to queue.
DTPM, www.myspace.com/dtpm, Legendary event, no longer with a fixed location. See site for details of upcoming parties.
For3ign, Saturdays @ Bar Music Hall, 134 Curtain Road, EC2A 3AR, 020 7613 5951, Outlandish costumes and, of course, thumping electro.
Horsemeat Disco, Sundays @ South Central, Italo and 70s Disco bring all sorts to this fantastic night, originally a bear love club.
Icon, Sundays @ Essence, 562a Mile End Road, E3 4PH, 0208 980 6427, mob 07843 440 443 (weekly), New night in the East End. Yet to prove itself.
Issue, monthly (check site for details) @ Electricity Showrooms, 39a Hoxton Square, N1 6NN, issueclub.blogspot.com. Polysexual parties to coincide with the launch of this scene/fashion magazine.
Matinee, monthly (check site) @ Fabric, 77a Charterhouse Street, EC1M 3HN, 020 7335 8898, www.matineelondon.com, Irregular gay night at this enormous club in Farringdon.
Popstarz, Fridays @ Sin, 144 Charing Cross Road, WC2H 0LB, 020 7240 1900, Gay indie institution, recently relocated.
Trailer Trash, Fridays @ On the Rocks, 25 Kingsland Road, E2 8AA, 020 7688 0339, The dirtiest electro and the drunkest you’ve ever been. Crammed with sweating fashionistas.
Wet Yourself, Sundays @ Aquarium, 256–264 Old Street, EC1V 9DD, 020 7251 6136, This used to be the place to be after Boombox. It’s lost only a little of its charm since (mixed polysexual crowd).
Lesbian Venues
Blush Bar, 8 Cazenove Road, Stoke Newington N16, 020 7923 9202, www.blushbar.co.uk
Candy Bar, 23-24 Bateman Street, W1V 5HR, 020 7437 1977, The reluctant epicentre of the Lesbian scene in Soho.
First Out Café Bar, Soho - 52 St Giles High St, WC2H 8LH, 020 7240 8042, Cafe with nightly events. All girls on Friday.
Oak Bar, 79 Green Lanes, N16, www.oakbar.co.uk, 020 7354 2791,
The Star At Night, 22 Great Chapel Street, Soho, W1 8FR, 020 7434 3749, Mixed cocktail bar with a predominantly female crowd.
Recommended Nights
100% Babe, Bank Holiday Sundays @ The Roxy, 3 Rathbone Place, W1P 1DA, 020 7636 1598, Irregular party for fans of funky house, R&B, old skool and electropop.
Blue Light, last Saturdays @ Bar Med, Triton Court, 14 Finsbury Square, EC2, 020 7588 3056
Club Wotever, first Saturday of the month @ The Masters Club, 12 Denman Street, Piccadilly, W1D 7HH, 020 7734 4243, Draggy night with a large ‘King’ quota.
Code, irregular night @ the Enclave, 25–27 Brewer Street, W1F 0RR, www.club-code.net - check website for details.
Girls on Girls, Wednesdays @ Village, 81 Wardour Street, W1D 6QD, 020 7434 2124
Lounge, second Thursdays @ Vertigo, 1 Leicester Square, WC2H 7NA, 020 7734 0900, Relaxed cocktail night at this swish Leicester Square club.
Miss Shapes, Thursdays @ Ghetto, Falconberg Court, W1D 3AB, 020 7287 3726, Popular girls-only indie night.
Pink, Wednesdays @ Element, 4-5 Greek Street, W1D 4DD, 020 7434 3323.
Play, irregular night @ Bar Rumba, 35 Shaftesbury Ave, W1D 7EP, 020 7287 2715, www.myspace.com/_clubplay
Rumours, last Saturday of the month @ 64–73 Minories, EC3, 07949 477 804
Smack, irregular night @ various venues, check website, www.myspace.com/smackclub
Wish, first Saturdays @ Gramophone, 60–62 Commercial Street, E1 6LT, Style conscious night for young techno-heads and indie girls.
Women’s Anarchist Nuisance Cafe, Penultimate wednesdays @ the RampART Creative Centre and Social Space, Rampart St, Aldgate, E1 2LA, Social group and cooperative vegan women’s cafe.
Stickier Options
Club Fukk, second Fridays @ Central Station, 37 Wharfdale Road, N1 9SD, 020 7278 3294, www.centralstation.co.uk or www.woteverworld.com/id12.html, Predominantly Lesbian fetish/play club. One of many sex/cruising nights at the venue – check site for details.
Chariots, www.gaysauna.co.uk, Popular chain of gay saunas, with branches at the following locations: Shoreditch: 1 Fairchild Street, EC2A 3NS, Waterloo: 101 Lower Marsh, SE1 7AB, 020 7401 8484, Limehouse: 574 Commercial Road, E14 7JD, 020 7791 2808, Streatham: 292 [rear of] Streatham High Road, SW16 6HG, 020 8696 0929, Farringdon: 57 Cowcross Street, EC1M 6BX, 020 7251 5553, Vauxhall: 63-64 Albert Embankment, SE1, 020 7247 5333
The Fort,131 Grange Road, Bermondsey, SE1 3AL , Themed cruising/fetish/sex bar.
Hard On, monthly @ Hidden, 100 Tinworth Street, SE11 5EQ, www.hardonclub.co.uk, Rubber and fetish sex club for gay and bisexual men and women.
The Hoist, Arch 47b & 47c, South Lambeth Road, SW8 1RH, 020 7735 9972, www.thehoist.co.uk, Fetish sex club with strict dress codes, check website for details.
Nudity, first Fridays @ Hidden, 100 Tinworth Street, SE11 5EQ, Nude men’s dance/play club.
Purrrr, 87 Fortess Road, Kentish Town NW5, www.purrrr.co.uk, Monthly S&M play club for Lesbians.
| General Information • Timeline |
London Timeline
A timeline of significant events in London’s history.
| 50: | The Romans found Londinium, building the first London Bridge. |
| 61: | Queen Boudicca burns Londinium down. |
| 100: | Londinium becomes the capital of Roman Britain. |
| 200: | The Romans build the London Wall. |
| 410: | Roman occupation ends and Londinium is largely abandoned for many years. |
| 604: | King Aethelbert of Kent completes the first St Paul’s Cathedral. |
| 700: | The Saxons build Lundenwic a mile to the west of old Londinium. |
| 851: | The Vikings burn Lundenwic down (starting to see a pattern, here?) |
| 878: | Alfred The Great defeats the Vikings and establishes a new settlement within the Roman Walls. |
| 1013: | The Viking King Canute besieges London. |
| 1066: | William The Conqueror becomes the first king to be crowned at Westminster Abbey. |
| 1088: | William The Conqueror builds the Tower Of London. |
| 1097: | William Rufus builds Westminster Hall—later part of the Houses Of Parliament. |
| 1176: | The wooden London Bridge is replaced by a stone structure. |
| 1343: | ‘The Canterbury Tales’ author Geoffrey Chaucer is born in London. |
| 1348: | The Black Death wipes out between a third and half of London’s population in 18 months. |
| 1381: | Peasants revolt, storming the Tower Of London. |
| 1599: | William Shakespeare’s theatre company The Chamberlain’s Men build the Globe Theatre. |
| 1605: | Guy Fawkes’ Gunpowder Plot fails to blow up the Palace Of Westminster. |
| 1635: | Hyde Park opens to the public. |
| 1649: | King Charles I is beheaded at Whitehall. |
| 1665: | The Great Plague kills a fifth of London’s population (starting to see another pattern, here?) |
| 1666: | The Fire of London destroys 60% of the city, including St Paul’s Cathedral, but wipes out the plague. This really must have been a great year. |
| 1708: | The new St Paul’s Cathedral is completed by Sir Christopher Wren. |
| 1732: | Downing Street becomes the home of the Prime Minister. |
| 1750: | Westminster Bridge is built. |
| 1814: | Lord’s Cricket Ground is opened. |
| 1829: | Robert Peel establishes the Metropolitan Police force, policemen known as ‘Bobbies’ or ‘Peelers’. |
| 1831: | London becomes the world’s biggest city. |
| 1834: | The Houses Of Parliament are built. |
| 1843: | Nelson’s Column is completed in Trafalgar Square. |
| 1851: | Six million people gawp at newfangled technology and design at The Great Exhibition. |
| 1858: | The Great Stink inspires the 19th century’s biggest civil engineering project—London’s sewerage system. |
| 1863: | The first London Underground line is built. |
| 1876: | The Albert Memorial to Queen Victoria’s husband Prince Albert is completed. |
| 1877: | The first Wimbledon Championship takes place. A Brit wins, but only Brit’s are playing. |
| 1884: | An imaginary line through Greenwich Royal Observatory is internationally accepted as the Prime Meridian. Except by the French. |
| 1887: | Arthur Conan Doyle publishes the first Sherlock Holmes story ‘A Study In Scarlet.’ |
| 1888: | Jack The Ripper’s first victim, Mary Ann Nichols, is murdered. |
| 1908: | London hosts the Olympics for the first time. |
| 1915: | German Zeppelin airships launch first air raids on London, ultimately killing over 700 people. |
| 1923: | Wembley Stadium is built in 300 days, costing £750,000. |
| 1940: | The Blitz begins—German bombs kill over 30,000 Londoners by the end of WW2 and destroy large areas of the city. |
| 1946: | Heathrow Airport opens for commercial flights. |
| 1948: | The second London Olympics is held. |
| 1951: | The Royal Festival Hall is built as part of the Festival Of Britain. |
| 1952: | The Great Smog, caused by a combination of fog and coal smoke, kills 4000 people in five days. |
| 1956: | The Clean Air Act puts an end to London’s smog problems. |
| 1965: | The Notting Hill Carnival is established by West London’s Caribbean community |
| 1966: | England win the FIFA World Cup at Wembley stadium, better still, against Germany. |
| 1969: | The Beatles play their last ever gig on the roof of the Apple building. |
| 1976: | The Sex Pistols play at the first ‘International Punk Festival’ at the 100 Club on Oxford Street. |
| 1981: | The first London Marathon. |
| 1983: | Six people are killed when the IRA bombs Harrods. |
| 1991: | London’s tallest building, One Canada Square (better known as Canary Wharf), is completed. |
| 2000: | Ken Livingstone becomes London’s first directly-elected Mayor. |
| 2005: | 52 people are killed by four suicide bombers on Underground trains and a bus. |
| 2007: | The rebuilt Wembley Stadium is completed after four years, costing £778 million. |
| 2008: | Boris Johnson defeats Red Ken in the London Mayoral Election with a promise to re-instate the Routemaster. |
| 2011: | Royal Wedding mania. |
| 2012: | London’s third Olympics held; Danny Boyle adapts NHS as West End spectacular. |
| 2012: | Queen Elizabeth II celebrates her Diamond Jubilee with a rainy-day boat show. |
| 2013: | Prince George of Cambridge born. |
| General Information • Media |
London is an egotist—it just loves to talk about itself. As you might expect, there’s a vast array of print and online publications, not to mention radio stations, designed to let the city do exactly that. Single-handedly forcing the environmental movement back twenty years are freebie dailies The Metro and the more fiscally orientated City A.M. Free weeklies to look out for include Stylist on Wednesday’s for girls, ShortList on Thursday’s for boys and Sport on Friday’s for, well, sports enthusiast. The Aussies are pushing TNT at tube stations on Monday, but it lacks the wider appeal. A newer addition to the freesheet line-up is the substantial Evening Standard, which went free in January 2009, and is the preferred news-roundup du jour of suburbanites and city types alike, if only for the sudoku and quick crossword puzzles. Online, www.thisislocallondon.co.uk condenses forty local newspapers into ‘one online voice’. On the wireless, Capital Radio broadcasts an irksome parade of popular hits and frenetic DJs, whilst Heart and Magic corner the market on lip-trembling power ballads, mid-paced chart rock and wacky quizzes. All of the British Broadcasting Corporation’s national radio stations—including the snazzy, young(ish) Radio 1 and ovaltine-drinkers’ choice Radio 2—are based in London, as is (surprisingly) BBC London, a decent option for weekend sports coverage. Cooler, urban types are more likely to be tuning into Kiss FM (dance, hip hop), Smooth FM (jazz, soul) or Choice (dancehall, roots), while alternative rockers tune their dials anguishedly to XFM, and the talkative indulge in unreserved subjectivity over at LBC. Of course, the undisputed king of alternative London broadcasting is Resonance FM, a ‘community run’ station. Expect everything from ‘Calling All Pensioners’ to live psycho-geographic wanders around city’s warped dark streets. Un-licensed and illegal pirate radio stations offer a slightly un-hinged ear into the fringes of London’s musical society. Twiddle your dials around the extreme ends of the FM spectrum for pirate stalwarts Rude FM and Kool FM. On the telly-box, the latest news is spoon-fed to you on ITV’s London Tonight show and delivered in short slots at the end of the BBC and ITV national news programs. For those actually risking going outside, Time Out remains the socialite’s sacred text.
The Evening Standard Northcliffe House, 2 Derry Street, W8 5TT, 020 7938 6000, Newly reinstated as a freesheet, it continues to be London’s favourite journey home read.
Metro Northcliffe House, 2 Derry Street, W8 5TT, 020 7651 5200, Free underground daily from same stable.
City AM New London Bridge House, 25 London Bridge St, SE1 9SG, 020 7015 1200, Free morning business bulletin for city-goers.
Sport Third Floor, Courtyard Building, 11 Curtain Road, EC2A 3LT, 0207 375 3175 Free sports overview every Friday.
TimeOut London 251-255 Tottenham Court Road, Universal House, W1T 7AB, 0207 813 3000, Listings & reviews across the city. Pretty damned comprehensive.
Literary Review 44 Lexington Street, W1 0LW, 020 7437 9392, Fortnightly publication for the bookish.
London Gazette PO Box 7923, SE1 5ZH, 020 7394 4517, Capital’s oldest paper—official journals record of the government.
The London Magazine 32 Addison Grove, W4 1ER, 020 8400 5882, Bi-monthly Arts reviews.
TNT London 14-15 Childs Place, Earls Court, SW5 9RX, 020 7373 3377, Info and opinion for the antipodean set.
Loot 31 John Street, WC1N 2AT, 0871 222 5000, Classifieds: flats, bought/sold and lonely hearts.
The Voice GV Media Group Ltd, Northern & Shell Tower, 6th Floor, 4 Selsdon Way, E14 9GL, 020 7510 0340, African-British national.
Polish Express 603 Cumberland House, 80 Scrubs Lane, NW10 6RF, 020 8964 4488 , News and info for the Polish community.
Live Listings Magazine Keith Villa (House), 102 Mallinson Rd, SW11 1BN, 020 7207 2734 Guide to what’s on in multicultural London.
ShortList 6 Emerald Street, London, WC1N 3QA, 020 7242 5873, A Thursday freebie for metrosexuals.
Sport 18 Hatfields, London SE1 8DJ, 020 7959 7800, A free Friday magazine dedicated to, you guessed it, sports.
Stylist 6 Emerald Street, London, WC1N 3QA, 020 7242 5873, London’s first free women’s glossy. Handed out on Wednesdays.
Public Radio
FM
89.1 BBC Radio Two: Middle-aged music and chat.
91.3 BBC Radio Three: Classical.
93.5 BBC Radio Four: Current affairs, comfort listening.
94.9 BBC London: Chat, sport.
95.8 Capital FM: Chart, capers.
96.9 Choice FM: Hip Hop, R&B.
97.3 LBC: Phone in, chat.
98.8 BBC Radio 1: Pop, rock, more pop.
100.0 Kiss FM: Dance, urban.
100.9 Classic FM: Classical.
102.2 Smooth FM: Jazz, soul.
102.6 Essex FM: Audible in East London.
103.3 London Greek Radio: Um, Greek.
103.5 BBC Essex: Audible out East.
104.4 Resonance FM: Always bizzare, always brilliant.
104.9 Xfm: Alternative, rock.
105.4 Magic: Pop, slush.
105.8 Virgin Radio: Pop, rock.
106.2 Heart: Chart, pop.
106.6 Time: West London only.
107.3 Time: South East London only.
AM
252 Atlantic: Rock.
558 Spectrum International: Multi-ethnic.
648 BBC World Service: Global.
720 BBC Radio Four: Spoken word.
909 BBC Radio Five Live: Sport, phone in.
963 Liberty Radio: 70s, 80s pop.
1035 Ritz: Country.
1089 talkSPORT: Sports phone in.
1152 LBC News: News, weather.
1215 Virgin Radio: Pop, rock.
1305 Premier Radio: Christian.
1458 Sunrise: Asian.
1548 Capital Gold: Rock ‘gold’, sport.
1584 London Turkish Radio: Turkish community.
Essential London Books
The Diary of Samuel Pepys (1825): Samuel Pepys: eyewitness accounts of the Restoration, Great Plague and Fire of London from noted sixteenth century scribbler.
Oliver Twist; Hard Times; Great Expectations (1837, 1854, 1860): Charles Dickens: any Dickens novel paints Victorian London at its most exacting.
The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (1886): Robert Louis Stevenson: the book that enthralled a city unnerved by Jack the Ripper.
The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes; The Hound of the Baskervilles (1892): Arthur Conan Doyle: classic whodunits featuring Holmes and Watson.
The Inimitable Jeeves (1923): P.G. Wodehouse: prewar upper-class tomfoolery in London Town.
Mrs Dalloway (1925): Virginia Woolf If you know London, you can follow Clarissa Dalloway every step of the way – in real time.
Londinium: London in the Roman Empire, John Morris (1982): London’s rise from a Roman outpost into a debauched medieval mecca.
V For Vendetta (1982-1989): Alan Moore, The world’s greatest comic writer blows up London in a fit of Anarchist fantasies.
London Fields (1989): Martin Amis: post-modern jaunt through London at the end of the millennium.
London – The Biography, and Illustrated London (2000): Peter Ackroyd: definitive, eight hundred page mother lode of remarkable city history, and lavish pictorial version.
London’s Disused Underground Stations (2001): JE Connor: documenting forgotten, ghostly tube stations beneath the pavements.
London Orbital and Hackney That Rose Red Empire (2002): Iain Sinclair: London’s premier scribe continues to fill our brains with joy despite being ripped off by devotee Peter Ackroyd.
The Clerkenwell Tales (2003): Peter Ackroyd: corking murder mystery set in the time of Chaucer.
Brick Lane (2003): Monica Ali: award winning coming-of-age tale centred on Brick Lane’s Muslim community.
Art Deco London (2003): Colin Michael Hines: Wistful but enjoyable stroll around London’s Art Deco heritage.
Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl (2005): Belle de Jour: steamy, real-life shenanigans ahoy.
From Here to Here (2005): Simmons, Taylor, Lynham, Rich: 31 top notch short stories about Circle Line destinations, includes Simon Armitage.
Secret London: Exploring the Hidden City, with Original Walks and Unusual Places to Visit (2006): Andrew Duncan: an explorer’s dream.
The London Bombings: An Independent Inquiry (2006): Nafeez Mosaddeq Ahmed: balanced, subtle overview of 2005 Underground bombings.
Around London with Kids – 68 Great Things to See and Do (3rd edition; 2006): Eugene Fodor: should keep the little rascals from breaking into cars.
I Never Knew That About London (2007): Christopher Winn: Well, did you?
The London Encyclopaedia (2008): Ben Weinreb and Christopher Hibbert: London’s history and culture documented in minutest detail
Derelict London (2008): Paul Talling: The urban explorers’ bible!
Essential London Songs
Lambeth Walk, Noel Gay/Douglas Furber (1937): All together! Doing the Lambeth Walk! Oi!
A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square, Judy Campbell (1940): Wartime cheer made famous by Vera Lynn.
London Pride, Sir Noel Coward (1941): Written during the Blitz, this sensational ballad gave comfort to Londoners being bombed nightly.
Maybe It’s Because I’m a Londoner, Hubert Gregg (1944): Pearly Queen favourite crammed with WWII spirit.
A Foggy Day (In London Town), Ella Fitzgerald (1956): Definitive recording of Gershwin classic.
Waterloo Sunset, The Kinks (1967): Timeless paean to the nation’s capital.
Consider Yourself, Lionel Bart (1968): Oliver Twist hoodwinked into a life of crime by the Artful Dodger, the rascal.
Primrose Hill, John and Beverly Martyn (1970). Folk rock’s second couple never had to deal with Katie Frost and Kate Moss when they were watching the sun set, did they?
Streets Of London, Ralph McTell (1974). Cool folk dude destroys credibility forever with international monster hit.
Baker Street, Gerry Rafferty (1978): Feel that sax line, air that guitar.
London Calling, The Clash (1979): Joe Strummer paints an apocalyptic vision of a city in post-punk transition.
Electric Avenue, Eddy Grant (1983): Roots-rock champion name checks 80s Brixton scene.
London, The Smiths (1983): Morrissey lugubriously debates a trip south. Miserable shite.
West End Girls, Pet Shop Boys (1986): East London working class meets West London affluence in electro-pop classic.
Pump Up London, Mr. Lee (1988). Squelchy Chicago House dude makes London sound amazing whilst name checking every British town he can think of: Leeds! Manchester! Scatland!
Parklife, Blur (1994): Home counties-boys get cockney makeover while eyeing London’s jogging scene.
Sunny Goodge Street, Donovan (2002). Folk crooner sings of a hippy London goneby.
The London Underground Song, Amateur Transplants (2005): Sweary, infectiously catchy and a comical ballad to the tube, rings painfully true.
Sheila, Jamie T (2006): Mr. T delivers an excellent poetic diatribe on what being young and hopeless in London is like.
Hometown Glory, Adele (2007): This song will make you fall in love with the city all over again.
Essential London Films
The 39 Steps (1935): Hitchcock adaptation of John Buchan novel.
Pygmalion (1938): Leslie Howard as Henry Higgins and Wendy Hiller as Eliza Doolittle prove Shaw’s classic comedy does very well without music.
Great Expectations (1946): Rare Richard Attenborough acting outing in classic Dickens adaptation.
The Ladykillers (1955): Superb black comedy from the Ealing canon, with pre-Obi Wan Alec Guinness.
One Hundred and One Dalmations (1961): Innocent pelt-seeker tortured by 101 belligerent pups. For shame.
Mary Poppins (1964): Notable for Dick Van Dyke’s confounding, lanky turn as cockney chimney sweep.
A Hard Day’s Night (1964): Classic, swinging 60s’ comedy from the Fab Four.
Alfie (1966): Caine in much-lauded role as audience-addressing lothario.
Carry On Doctor (1967): Critically-panned, guilty-pleasure raunchfest from Pinewood Studios.
The London Nobody Knows (1967): The greatest film about London ever. Period.
Oliver! (1968): Sprightly musical adaptation of Dickens classic.
A Clockwork Orange (1971) Kubrick’s dystopian masterpiece was set in Thamesmead, which is still, “Feeling a bit shagged and fagged and fashed.”
The Elephant Man (1980): John Merrick ‘accepted’ by London’s polite Victorian-era society in David Lynch masterpiece.
An American Werewolf in London (1981): US student attacked on moors; gets haunted; romps with Jenny Agutter; becomes werewolf; slaughters innocents; is shot in alley; credits roll.
My Beautiful Launderette (1985): Hanif Kureishi’s controversial depiction of cross-culture, same-gender love in the Thatcher-era.
Muppet Christmas Carol (1992): That Michael Caine, he sure can act. But he sure can’t sing.
London (1994): Patrick Kellier’s abstract ramble through ‘the most unsociable and reactionary of cities.’
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998): East End crime capers from Madonna’s (not from the East End) husband.
Notting Hill (1999): Hugh Grant as mumbling, bumbling, lovesick fop.
Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001): Rene Zellweger goes Sloane in adaptation of Helen Fielding novel.
28 Days Later (2002): Us Londoners finally erupt in pandemic rage at how slow tourists are on the tube.
Love Actually (2003): Expansive Richard Curtis romcom with Grant in slightly-less mumbly, slightly-more bumbly form.
Shaun of the Dead (2003): Fighting off zombies at the local pub. Hilarious.
The Kings Speech (2010): A stuttering King finds his voice and wins a few Academy Awards for his efforts.
| General Information • Toilets |
There can’t be anything worse than the inconvenience of trying to find a convenience when nature takes an unexpected hold of your nether regions; you may choose to follow the lead of many a Saturday evening reveller and use a public doorway, but is it really worth the £80 fine that will be levied if caught in the act (and let’s face it, it’s hard to conceal the evidence)?
Unfortunately, London has seen a recent decline in the provision of public toilet facilities, as local councils seem to have decided that they are under no obligation to provide such a service; you’ll also be hard pushed to find a toilet attendant manning a lavatory these days, and the dubious goings-on in some loos may not be quite what you had in mind, unless your name has a “Michael” in it. Most surviving public toilets seem also to emit their own particular aroma of…well, you don’t really have to use your imagination. But don’t get down in the dumps!
The most obvious place to go to when in need is McDonald’s. Despite what some may say about their food, their outlets are the place to go when caught short and not wishing to pay to pee. Usually maintained and cleaned throughout opening hours, they can also be used inconspicuously and without purchasing anything; and let’s face it, you can’t move without the glow of those golden arches following you across London. It’s also a safe bet to use Starbucks, Caffe Nero and Costa Coffee bars, although they often have a policy of access to toilets by key only, which can be a bit of a bummer (groan).
It may seem like a good idea to visit pubs or bars solely for their toilets, but you might find yourself being hauled out by an irked landlord mid-act. Furthermore, don’t expect luxury; pub toilets are usually fairly scummy and often not furnished with toilet paper. It’s also unlikely to find a men’s cubicle that will have a working lock in it; do you really wish to have an unwanted visitor whilst on the throne? Exceptions are the Wetherspoon’s chain, which prides itself on having toilets cleaned on the hour, and the nicest of gastro pubs, which can offer commodious and clean facilities (at least during the day). Otherwise, if desperate, at least go for a pub or bar that’s busy.
Also bear in mind that if you find yourself in need in the City of Westminster, you can use a toilet text service from your mobile phone! Known as SatLav, texting the word ‘Toilet’ to 80097 will result in a message being sent to your phone informing you of the nearest public convenience. It may prove to be the most relieving 25p you’ll ever spend in London…
A good and extensive list of London public toilets can be found at www.lastrounds.co.uk/public_toilets.html.
If none of the afore-mentioned places are available, there are other options:
Other street public toilets—yes, those bizarre futuristic looking structures on some of London’s central streets are toilets. Known as sanisettes or “superloos”, there is a charge to use them and once in, you’ve got 15 minutes before the door automatically opens (don’t get extended stage-fright). They’re self-cleaning, which usually means that they’re in a right state, and are also quite popular with junkies and prostitutes, so best saved for when extremely desperate.
There are also a few pop up toilettes which, although intended for the right use, unfortunately stink like hell and fortunately return back there during the day. These are only suitable for (drunk) men and rise to the challenge of channelling away an evening’s excesses from 7pm to 6am. Located at notorious ‘wet spots’ in the West End, they are linked to the main sewerage system; taking the piss, indeed…
Stations—including almost all large railway stations and a few central London tube stations. There will usually be a cost for these facilities though (around 30p).
Department Stores—All the large ones, including John Lewis, Selfridges, Debenhams and Harrods. Smaller shops rarely have toilets for public use.
Supermarkets—many larger branches of Sainsbury’s and Marks & Spencer.
Museums—the majority of London’s large museums and galleries are free to enter (erm, and have toilets).
Libraries—most libraries will have an area of salvation for the needy.
Universities and Colleges—and you get to pass yourself off as a student or lecturer (in need of the loo).
Hospitals—you can also drop in on that relative that you always meant to visit, or maybe leave a stool sample; just try not to leave with a superbug.
Parks—not on the grass, please.
Hotels—larger hotels shouldn’t pose a problem.
| General Information • Hospitals |
London has some of the finest hospitals in the world, attracting top-notch specialists who carry-out state-of-the-art procedures—the trick is, getting in to see one of them. An appointment at a specific hospital, or with a specialist, requires a referral from your GP and plenty of patience. In an emergency go to your nearest A&E—bring a book and some earplugs. On the weekends after eleven, waiting times for non-urgent problems can be measured in aeons, but rest assured, if something is seriously wrong you’ll be seen very quickly—lucky ol’ you. For non serious injuries or illnesses, find your nearest Minor Injuries Unit or Walk-in Centre on www.nhs.uk. You’ll spend less time hanging around and free up A&E for critical cases and over-cidered teens needing stomach pumps. The ever-friendly 24 hr NHS Direct 0845 4647 is also always available for advice.
If you have the money, numerous private sector hospitals and clinics are available to cure what ails you, or to pander to your hypochondriacal needs. You won’t necessarily get better treatment, but there’ll be less waiting, more pampering and more grapes by your bedside. For information, start at www.privatehealth.co.uk.
| General Information • Libraries |
Overview
Librarians love nothing more than a warm cardigan and a complex cataloguing system, nevertheless, they’ve done themselves proud with London’s libraries. London boasts an enormous, if somewhat eccentric and confusing, network of over 360 libraries. In 2009 the Chief Librarians initiative passed and 4,000 libraries in England, Wales and Northern Ireland can now be easily accessed and used for all library services including checking out books, as long as you have an existing library card and proof of address. This excludes the elite British institutions (see below) and all books must be returned to a library in the same area.
London’s libraries vary enormously in subject, range and facilities, with some accessible for free, some for a fee, some with an appointment and some only if you are very very nice and give the curator a chocolate digestive. But the treat of such a large network, apart from the world-class breadth, depth and quality of collections, is that many of the libraries have a unique personality to make them a treasured part of London. For example, £10 will get you a day’s membership to the London Library (Map 23), an atmospheric labyrinth where you can browse alongside ghosts of past members including Dickens, Tennyson and Darwin, and feel several IQ points higher than before you went in. In Tower Hamlets, libraries are now “Ideas Stores” (Map 92, 101, 96), because Tower Hamlets is, like, cool. In addition to the books, magazines, music and internet facilities which are available at most public libraries, these superb spaces also offer activities such as free PopLaw legal advice clinics, homework clubs and jazz classes. The borough has built four of these wonders; find them in Bow, Whitechapel, Canary Wharf and on East India Dock Road. London linguists are spoiled with the excellent French Institute (Map 36), Instituto Cervantes (Map 19) and the Goethe Institut (Map 37), while more cunning linguists may prefer the eye-opening gynaecological collection among the 2.5 million medical-related works in the Wellcome Library (Map 4). Poets should meander their way to the Saison Poetry Library (Map 104), ensconced within the South Bank Centre, for a little inspiration. Artists will enjoy the National Art Library (Map 36), which nestles within the V&A Museum. You can use many of London’s academic and specialist libraries through the Inspire London scheme, which grants one-day reference access to collections throughout London; ask your local library to refer you.
However, the Daddy of them all is the British Library (Map 78). This behemoth receives a copy of every publication printed in the UK and Ireland, and requires 625km of shelving space to accommodate its 150million items. But it’s just such a tease. You cannot borrow books, and to even access the collections you need to obtain a Reader Pass, via an introductory discussion to establish why you need it and whether you’re likely to doodle on the books. This requires two forms of ID, no compromise: refer to www.bl.uk for the latest guidelines. Once you have your pass you can access the Reading Rooms, albeit with your personal belongings in a clear plastic bag (or stored in a locker). But if you just fancy seeing the Magna Carta, Shakespeare in Quarto or some Beatles manuscripts, you can access the book-free visitor areas without appointment and still gain an impressive look at one of the world’s greatest information resources.
| General Information • Police |
General Information
Important phone numbers:
All emergencies: 999
Non-emergencies: 101
Anti-terrorism hotline: 0800 789 321
Crime Stoppers: 0800 555 111
Neighbourhood Watch: 020 79934709
Missing Persons: 0500 700 700
Complaints: 08453 002 002
Websites:
www.cityoflondon.police.uk (Separate police force specifically covering the Square Mile).
www.btp.police.uk (Separate police force specifically covering public transport).
| General Information • London Postcodes Map |
| General Information • Hotels |
Overview
London hotels can be sources of hopelessly romantic creativity. In 1899 Claude Monet painted the Houses of Parliament from his balcony at the Savoy hotel. About 100 years later, Fay Weldon moved in with her typewriter as writer in residence. If you’ve got visitors in town, fancy giving Claude a run for his money, or just can’t face going back to your dump of a flat, you’ll need the services of a hotel. When choosing your hotel, think carefully about what kind of London you’re looking to experience and whom the room is for. We’ve identified a few of the usual suspects for whom you may find yourself booking a hotel room, and heartily offer you our best suggestions for each. Just don’t expect to emerge from any of them clutching a masterpiece penned overnight.
Only the Best, Daah-ling
So you need to find a hotel for a VIP client who will accept nothing but the best. Where to start? Since you don’t have to cover the bill yourself, here is where you can really dig into London hospitality at its most deluxe. Start by trying to book The Ritz (Map 9), with its amazing views of Green Park, Rococo detailing and killer high tea. Brown’s (Map 9) is a stunning five-star and was the first hotel in London to have a lift. There is also the Dorchester (Map 9), and its neighbour the Hilton Park Lane (Map 9), where you may see a celebrity stumbling back to their quarters at four in the morning, if you’re very, very lucky. The Landmark (Map 76) is a wonderfully Victorian retreat in the centre of ritzy Marylebone and has a rather fine atrium. But the granddaddy of luxury London must be the Savoy (Map 24). This elegant old-timer stunk of old money until its temporary closure in 2007 for a £100 million spruce-up. It was built on the location of the Savoy Palace, which burned down during the Peasants’ Revolt in 1381. We say let them eat cake (and tea).
A Dirty Weekend
This can be any weekend where a Londoner decides booze-goggled sex and/or quick-to-bed access after a night of clubbing is worthy of dishing out the dosh on an über-chic central hotel. It’s one (giant) step up from splurging on a taxi and is the realm of the London boutique hotel where location is everything. Hazlitt’s (Map 12) is right in the middle of Soho yet still wonderfully intimate. Andaz Hotel (Map 8) (formerly Great Eastern Hotel) is in the heart of the City, with funky Shoreditch on its doorstep, whilst the ‘modern English’ style of the Charlotte Street Hotel (Map 3) is painfully hip and sophisticated.
The Tea-and-Crumpet Tourist
Then there’s the hotel for your sweetly naïve cousin that sees London through rose-tinted Ray Bans: full of scones, Mary Poppins and the chimes of Big Ben. You wouldn’t want to burst her cute little bubble, would you? Not to worry, there are plenty of hotels to satisfy the Harrods tourist. San Domenico House London (Map 46) is a Chelsea boutique hotel that is about as warm and cuddly as a cup of sugary tea. The Rookery (Map 15), built amongst a row of once derelict Georgian townhouses in Clerkenwell, is cluttered with museum-worthy furniture, open fires and ye oldey worldey frippery. Or, if she can’t bear to be too far away from Buckingham Palace, there’s the nearby Windermere (Map 20).
Parents in Town?
If your parents have spent their nest egg on bailing you out of your London-induced debt, they will probably want to get the most out of London for the least money possible. But if the hotel you pick for their stay is anything short of perfect, you’ll never hear the end of it. If they have loyalty cards with any of the bigger hotel chains, now is a good time to use them. The London Bridge Hotel (Map 22) is an independent four-star that usually has good deals and is conveniently close to Borough Market and London Bridge station. Gower Street has a wealth of small family-run hotels at reasonable prices, including the Cavendish (Map 23), within stumbling distance of the British Museum. There’s also the nearby Crescent Hotel (Map 4), next to Russell Square. If you miss home cooking, get your ‘rents a serviced apartment with a kitchenette. Marlin Apartments and Think London have a few different properties, often ripe for the celeb sighting as pop stars are known to hitch up their wagons there during drawn-out tours.
In Lieu of a Couch to Crash On
Then you get your university friend still in strong denial of the real world, who refuses to get a real job. The amount of times this sponger has crashed on your sofa has been enough to send your might-be-the-one girl/boyfriend packing. Instead of blaming him/her for your future life of loneliness, banish them from the flat and call in the services of one of London’s cheapies. They do exist, you just have to look hard. The Hoxton Hotel (Map 84), an urban cheap boutique founded by the owner of Pret a Manger, is famous for its £1 hotel room sales. Cheap but cheerful chain Premier Inn (multiple locations) boasts rooms from £29 a night. Sometimes short-term rental companies, like Airbnb (www.airbnb.com), offer shared facility flats at very cheap prices. This is perfect if a guest is wishing to stay for a week or more. Airbnb has over 9,000 listings in London, which start as low as £10 a night. This can be a necessary and friendly alternative to endless weeks of friends imposing on your hospitality.
Where to Stick Your Best Friend From School
(And Her Husband, Two Perfect Kids and a Dog)
Unfortunately, for some people visiting London, a dodgy guesthouse isn’t going to cut it. You want to show them how your city can be just as perfect as their countryside home and how not jealous you are of them! Of course, they don’t see the point in paying tons either. This is where the few and far between bed and breakfasts come out of the woodwork. Most of these are small, so book in advance. London’s best is the warm and welcoming Bay Tree House and Annex B&B (Out of coverage). Great for families or singletons alike, it’s in New Southgate (about 25 minutes by tube from central London) but can be a relaxing retreat. Barclay House (Map 43) is a hidden gem in Fulham Broadway (make sure you write down the address as it’s not signposted and can blend in). Aster House (Map 45) is a bit pricier but close enough to posh High Street Kensington to give a glimpse of how the other half live.
With all these hotels, compare prices online, ask for their best rate and/or call for last minute deals, you may be surprised at the reductions available. Good offers mean you can pay less than you’d think for the best, and London does really have the best.
| General Information • Landmarks |
As you might expect from a site constantly inhabited since the Roman invasion of Britain, and probably before, London has managed to assemble a vast array of good, bad and ugly landmarks. The city is, in fact, stuffed with them, and the following is a slightly subjective rumination on a small proportion of some of the most noteworthy.
Historical
London gracefully bears a massive weight of history, and many of its landmarks reflect this. One of the oldest is the remains of the Temple of Mithras (Map 16) on Walbrook, built by the Romans when London was Londinium. Parts of the London Wall (Map 18), also originally built by the Romans, still exist, the best fragments are around Tower Hill station. In Medieval times London became a bustling place; celebrate one of its most beautiful churches by visiting the oddly named St Giles’ Cripplegate (Map 7), which is ensconced within the brutal Barbican Centre (Map 7), a landmark itself. By the 1600s, London was bustling so hard it got the plague and then some idiot burnt the entire city down in 1666. Celebrate three days of the Great Fire by climbing to the top of the 202 feet high Monument (Map 18), before visiting post-fire architect Christopher Wren’s masterpiece, St Paul’s Cathedral (Map 16). Into the 18th century, things became a little more sophisticated and some of London’s prettiest domestic architecture bloomed. Stroll down Bloomsbury’s Doughty Street (Map 5), stopping at Charles Dickens’ House, for perfectly proportioned Georgian elegance. The Victorians had a huge impact on London, with whole tracts of the city bearing the stamp of the starched times of chimney sweeps and empire bashing. For the lighter side of Victorian London, poke about the museums quarter from the Victoria & Albert Museum (Map 37) up to the Albert Memorial (Map 36). For the darker, dodge the elderly at the St Pancras Hospital (Map 78), an ex-workhouse.
Tourist Bait
London has a host of over-exposed landmarks that are honey to the swarms of tourist worker-bees but over-rated in the eyes of many Londoners. We don’t necessarily share this view, but if you want to venture beyond the crowds at Big Ben (Map 22), try some of the following. The aforementioned St Paul’s Cathedral (Map 16) is an absolute wonder, although try the smaller Southwark Cathedral (Map 106) for a more intimate option. The British Museum (Map 4) is a beauty made fairer by its recent courtyard renovation; peruse the library to see where Marx pondered upon ‘Das Kapital’. The Burlington Arcade (Map 10) is how shopping should be. The crypt under St Mary-le-Bow Church (Map 16) is 11th century weirdness complete with its own vegetarian restaurant. The Thames is long enough to provide you with your own spot of riverside tranquillity. If you’re scared of bridges, burrow under the river at the Greenwich Foot Tunnel (Map 120), or chug across it on the free Woolwich Ferry. For a weekend mooch, try the Grand Regent’s Canal (Map 71).
Modern Landmarks
The 20th century blessed the city with some opinion splitting contributions. The Hayward Gallery (Map 104) and National Theatre (Map 104) are both concrete frighteners which we are learning to love. Despite originally housing a power station, Tate Modern (Map 105) has been more graciously received. Meanwhile, further down the river, long abandoned Battersea Power Station (Map 133) will be undergoing major developments in 2013 and will be replaced by some form of flashy money-without-substance monstrosity. The BT Tower (Map 3) is like a 1960s lighthouse for central London drunks. The Lloyds Building (Map 18) and Tower 42 (Map 18) are both absorbing odes to the banker and glare menacingly at new rival One Canada Square (or Canary Wharf Tower) (Map 100). A more recent contribution to the city is the Canary Wharf Underground Station (Map 100). Until at least 2014 the 150-year squabble over what to put in Trafalgar Square’s (Map 24) fourth and only empty plinth rages on. Expect modern, classic and performance art in this space for the time being, at least, until they add a statue of Britain’s future supreme commander Rupert Murdoch strangling Lady Justice in 2014.
Lowbrow
In these clean times of starchitects, steel and glass, a few minutes spent gawping at Elephant and Castle (Map 105) shopping centre is enough to remind anyone how awry a landmark can go. Even a quick squizz at the nearby Faraday Memorial (Map 105) may not lift your gloom, largely as it now forms the body of a clogged roundabout. However, London can do lowbrow with the best of them, starting with the Westway Flyover (Map 31): a noisy, dusty shard of concrete to remind you that the car is still king. The disused Kingsway Tram Tunnel (Map 4) is a forgotten piece of prime underground real estate and Centre Point (Map 4) and Millbank Tower (Map 21) are good examples of dodgy skyscrapers that no-one needed. Battersea Park Gasometers (Map 133) are imposing monsters, whereas Lots Road Power Station (Map 50) is fast becoming London’s trendiest disused power station. If you must jump upon band wagons, keep your eyes peeled around east London for art left on walls by Banksy. Mobile lowbrow starts with a trip on a Routemaster, despite the buses being withdrawn in 2005, two heritage routes are still running. Lowbrow (along with logic, aesthetic quality and planning) finishes with Euston Station (Map 78), which is, simply, disgusting.
Map 1 • Marylebone (West)
| Marble Arch | Oxford St & Park Ln | Randomly plonked gateway to nowhere. |
| Speakers’ Corner | Cumberland Gate & Park Ln | It’s easy—stand on the corner and listen to the ‘speeches.’ |
Map 2 • Marylebone (East)
| Hertford House | Manchester Sq & Hinde St | Terribly twee home of the Wallace Collection. |
| Jimi Hendrix Memorial Blue Plaque | 23 Brook St | Jimi lived here. Some bloke called Handel lived next door. |
Map 3 • Fitzrovia
| BT Tower | 60 Cleveland St | A 574 foot tall official government secret until 1993. |
| Charlotte Street | Charlotte St | Restaurant strip for the advertising in-crowd. |
| Middlesex Hospital | Mortimer St & Cleveland St | Closed-down and spooky-looking. |
| Pollock’s Toy Museum | 1 Scala St | Brimming with delightful, traditional toys and Dickensian atmosphere. |
| Sinner Winner Man | 216 Oxford St | Are you a sinner? Or a winner? London’s top preacher’s patch. |
| Tottenham Court Road | Tottenham Ct Rd | Buy your electronics ‘ere, innit? |
Map 4 • Bloomsbury (West)
| The British Museum | Great Russell St & Museum St | Newly-covered Great Court is architectural manna. |
| Centre Point | 101 New Oxford St | Ugly skyscraper looking kinda out of place. |
| Kingsway Tram Tunnel | Theobalds Rd & Southampton Row | Spooky remnant of London’s defunct Tram network. |
| SOAS | Thornhaugh St | University focused on Africa, Asia and the Middle East. |
| Senate House | Malet St & Torrington Sq | Ominous art deco building; Orwell’s Ministry of Truth. |
| Student Central | Malet St | University of London’s giant students’ union. |
| Tavistock Square | Tavistock Sq | Has a statue of Gandhi looking as cool as ever. |
| University College London | Gower St | London’s “Global University,” upholding progressive ideals since 1826. |
Map 5 • Bloomsbury (East)
| The Dickens House Museum | 48 Doughty St | Unassuming from the outside, mecca for Dickens’ fans on the inside. |
| Doughty Street | Doughty St & Guilford St | Exquisite Georgian street in heart of literary land. |
| Gray’s Inn Field | Theobald’s Rd | Holborn Hideaway. |
Map 7 • Barbican / City Road (South)
| Barbican Centre | Silk St & Whitecross St | An architectural eyesore. Bloody good events though. |
| Bunhill Fields | 38 City Rd | 120 thousand dead people, including William Blake. All buried, luckily. |
| Church of Saint Bartholomew the Great | 6 Kinghorn St | Stroll in for your daily dose of frankincense and choir song. |
| LSO St Luke’s | 161 Old St | Home to the London Symphony Orchestra. Peaceful gardens for relaxation. |
| St. Giles-without-Cripplegate | Fore St & Wood St | Medieval church which defied the Blitz. Catch an organ recital. |
Map 8 • Liverpool Street / Broadgate
| Fulcrum at Broadgate | Broadgate | Richard Serra’s overwhelming steel megalith. |
Map 9 • Mayfair / Green Park
| 50 Berkeley Square | 50 Berkeley Sq | The most haunted house in all of London town! |
| Apsley House | 149 Piccadilly | “Number One, London”—former hip address of Duke of Wellington. |
| Buckingham Palace | The Mall | Unofficial HQ for Fathers For Justice. |
| Down Street Station | Down St & Piccadily | Bricked-up Underground station. The Turtles didn’t live here. |
| Hard Rock Cafe | 150 Old Park Ln | Original location; check out free Vault memorabilia collection downstairs. |
Map 10 • Piccadilly / Soho (West)
| Burlington Arcade | Burlington Arcade & Piccadilly | Welcoming shoppers since 1819. |
| Carnaby Street | Carnaby St | Will anything innovative ever come from here again? |
| Kingly Court | Kingly St & Foubert’s Pl | Flash the cash to cut a dash. |
| Statue of Eros | Piccadilly Circus | God of Love, smothered in pigeon crap: a cautionary tale. |
Map 11 • Soho (Central)
| Huge Tree In Pub (Waxy O’Connor’s) | 14 Rupert St | No, you’re not drunk, it really is a tree. |
| John Snow Water Pump | Broadwick St | Source of 1854 Cholera outbreak identified by Snow. |
| Berwick Street Market | Berwick St & Rupert St | Arrive early for traditional Cockney trader songs / off-duty hookers. |
Map 12 • Soho (East)
| Denmark Street | Denmark St & Charing Cross Rd | Guitar land. ‘Enter Sandman’ forbidden in most stores. |
| FA Headquarters | 25 Soho Sq | Home of English football’s top brass. |
| Old Compton Street | Old Compton St | Dubious gay hub. |
| The Phoenix Garden | 21 Stacey St | A beautiful green mini-oasis in the middle of the city. |
| Soho Square | Soho Sq | Great atmosphere on hot summer days. |
Map 13 • Covent Garden
| Oasis Lido | 32 Endell St | A lido in central London! In a 50s housing estate! |
| Seven Dials | Upper St Martin’s Ln & Earlham St | Slum area in the past. Now great for shopping! |
Map 14 • Holborn / Temple
| Aldwych tube station | Strand & Surrey St | Creepy abandoned tube station. With a photo booth… of doom? |
| BBC Bush House | Aldwych & Kingsway | London calling the world, since 1940. |
| Hatton Garden | Hatton Garden | Historic jewelry and diamond district |
| Inner Temple Garden | Inner Temple | So peaceful even the lawyers look relaxed. |
| Lincoln’s Inn Fields | High Holborn & Chancery Ln | Largest public square in London. |
| The Old Curiosity Shop | 13 Portsmouth St | The oldest shop in London is truly Dickensesque. |
| Royal Courts of Justice | Strand & Bell Yard | Witness justice meted out to all, even the McCartneys. |
| Sir John Soane’s Museum | 13 Lincoln’s Inn Fields | Spooky museum dedicated to the great 18th century architect. |
| Site of Sweeny Todd’s Barber Shop | 186 Fleet St | Swing by for a demon haircut and lovely pie. |
| Somerset House | Strand | 18th century palace, beautiful fountains; has various modern functions. |
Map 15 • Blackfriars / Farringdon
| Daily Express Building | 121 Fleet St | Art Deco sleeper. |
| Millennium Bridge | Millennium Bridge | Footbridge famous for wobbling alarmingly when it was opened. |
| Postman’s Park | King Edward St & Little Britain | Tile memorial for ‘average’ people who did really cool things. |
Map 16 • Square Mile (West)
| The Guildhall | Gresham St & Basinghall St | Big, posh, old… Like Prince Phillip but less entertaining. |
| St Mary le Bow Church | Cheapside & Bow Ln | A historic place for City tycoons to save their souls. |
| St. Paul’s Cathedral | St. Paul’s Church Yard & Cannon St | Magnificence since 604AD. |
| Temple of Mithras | Queen Victoria St & Queen St | 3rd century Roman temple foundations. Discovered 1954 and moved here. |
Map 17 • Square Mile (East)
| Bank of England | Threadneedle St | The ‘Old Lady’ still churns out the pounds. |
| London Stone | 111 Cannon St | Possibly used by Romans to measure all distances in Britannia. |
| Threadneedle Street | Threadneedle St & Prince’s St | London’s original Grope Cunt Lane. Seriously, it’s a true story. |
Map 18 • Tower Hill / Aldgate
| The Gherkin | 30 St Mary Axe | Phwoar. |
| Leadenhall Market | Leadenhall Market | Designed by Horace Jones (Billingsgate and Smithfield Markets) |
| The Lloyds Building | 1 Lime St | Dystopia’s nicer side. |
| London Wall | Cooper’s Row & Trinity Sq | Ruins, should be re-built to keep Northerners out. |
| The Monument | Monument St & Fish St Hill | Climb 311 coronary-inducing steps for unique, unsung London views. |
| Pudding Lane | Pudding Ln | Starting point for Great Fire of 1666. No smoking. |
| Royal Raven Lodgings | Wakefield Tower | Want to upgrade your pokey flat? Become a raven. |
| Soup Kitchen for the Jewish Poor | Brune St & Tenter Ground | The kitchen’s gone; the stunning ornate façade is still there. |
| Thames Clipper | Tower Pier | |
| Tower 42 (Natwest Tower) | 25 Old Broad St | One of London’s skyscrapers. Great view (and restaurant) at top. |
| Tower of London | The Tower of London | Kings and Queens. Surprisingly insightful, annoyingly expensive. |
Map 20 • Victoria / Pimlico (West)
| Little Ben | Victoria St & Vauxhall Bridge Rd | Big Ben’s runty kid brother. |
| Westminster Cathedral | 42 Francis St | Yep, impressive. |
Map 21 • Pimlico (East)
| Millbank Tower | 21 Millbank | Ugly sore thumb. And Labour Party HQ! |
Map 22 • Westminster
| Big Ben | House of Commons | The world’s most famous clock and pretty damn cool. |
| Bolan Rock Shrine | Queen’s Ride, Putney | Memorial shrine where 70s rock star Marc Bolan died. |
| Field of Remembrance | Victoria St & Dean’s Yard | Sea of crosses and poppies to honour veterans. |
| New Scotland Yard Sign | 8 Broadway | It spins!! Just like on the telly!! |
| Smith Square | Smith Sq | Square with great concert venue--watch out for MPs. |
| UK Parliament | Victoria St & Abingdon St | Parliament buildings where you can watch government debates. |
| Westminster Tube Station | Bridge St & Victoria Embankment | A daunting, soulless, engineering playground. Good and bad both extinct here… |
Map 23 • St. James’s
| Economist Plaza | 25 St James’s St | Rotating sculpture installations from bratty young artists. |
| Giro the Nazi Dog | 9 Carlton House Terrace | London’s sole Nazi memorial. You’d think there’d be more… |
| Leicester Square | Leicester Sq | Tragic, tacky, always inexplicably heaving. Avoid. |
| TKTS | Leicester Square & St Martin’s St | Cheapo tickets to sometimes worth-seeing shows. |
Map 24 • Trafalgar Square / The Strand
| 10 Downing Street | 10 Downing St | The Prime Minister’s house. |
| The Actors’ Church | 29 Bedford St | Somewhat hidden and unique church long-associated with thesps. |
| The Banqueting House | Whitehall & Horse Guards Ave | Unsullied Renaissance cum-shot. Still does private parties. |
| Cleopatra’s Needle | Embankment | Ancient-Egyptian Empire esoterica, with additional Luftwaffe-era ‘distressed’ styling. |
| Eleanor Cross | Charing Cross Station, The Strand | A mourning King’s tribute to his expired Queen. |
| Jane Austen Residence | 10 Henrietta St | The first Bridget Jones’ bachelorette crashed here for a time. |
| Right-hand Drive Street | Savoy Ct | Britain’s only right-hand-drive street. Like being on holiday! (Ish) |
| Sewer Lamp | Carting Lane & Strand | Lit by the power of your bowels. |
| St Martin-in-the-Fields | St Martin’s Pl & Duncannon St | Was indeed surrounded by fields once. Just TRY to imagine! |
| Top Secret Tunnels | 6 Craig’s Ct | Government’s WWII tunnels, 100ft below London. But shhh: top secret. |
| Trafalgar Square | Trafalgar Sq | Hardly an oasis but space to sit, look and think. |
Map 25 • Kensal Town
| Trellick Tower | 5 Golborne Rd | Grade II listed 1960s council estate inspiring love/hate reactions. |
Map 29 • Notting Hill Gate
| Portobello Road Market | 223 Portobello Rd | Antiques, clothes, food and more. A London institution. |
Map 31 • Paddington
| Paddington Bear Statue | Paddington Station | The statue’s pleasant. But they’re milking it with the crap shop. |
| Tony Blair’s house | Connaught Square & Seymour St | Promise not to do anything naughty now. |
| Westway Flyover | Coolest car route into London |
Map 33 • Shepherd’s Bush
| BBC Television Centre | Wood Ln & Ring Rd | Treasure it before the BBC moves out in 2013. |
Map 34 • West Kensington / Olympia
| Kyoto Garden (Holland Park) | 100 Holland Park Ave | Traditional Japanese Garden in Holland Park offering peace and tranquility. |
Map 35 • Kensington
| Kensington Palace Gardens | Kensington Palace Gardens | Billionaire’s Row. Stunning street to amble down and gawp at the mansions. |
Map 36 • South Kensington / Gloucester Rd
| Albert Memorial | Kensington Gardens | The shiniest balding head in town. |
| Royal Albert Hall | Kensington Gore | One stunner of a music hall, inside and out. |
Map 37 • Knightsbridge
| Holy Trinity Brompton | Brompton Rd & Knightsbridge | Historic HTB is home to the Alpha course. Even Guy Ritchie’s been! |
| Victoria & Albert Museum | Cromwell Rd & Thurloe Pl | Victorian treasure trove, building a beauty itself. |
Map 42 • Baron’s Court
| Empress State Buidling | Lillie Rd & North End Rd | Awesome Art Deco building now a scary cult center. |
Map 43 • West Brompton / Fulham Broadway / Earl’s Court
| Stamford Bridge | Fulham Road & Moore Park Rd | That’s not sweat you smell but money at Chelsea FC’s HQ. |
Map 46 • Sloane Square
| Saatchi Gallery | Duke of York HQ, King’s Rd | See rich dude’s great art collection, for free. |
Map 48 • Fulham
| Putney Bridge Tube Pill Box | Putney Bridge Station | “We will fight them on the platforms!” |
Map 50 • Sand’s End
| Lots Road Power Station | 27 Lots Rd | Pint-sized power station, now disused. |
Map 51 • Highgate
| Highgate Cemetery | 1 Swain’s Ln | Eerily gothic home to Karl Marx and The Highgate Vampire. |
| Karl Marx’s grave | Highgate Cemetry | Exactly what it says on the tin. |
Map 52 • Archway (North)
| Parkland Walk Nature Reserve | Parkland Walk | Hedgehogs and graffiti to be spotted along this abandoned railway. |
| Suicide Bridge | Hornsey Ln & Archway Rd | Former London entry point, now very much an exit point. |
Map 53 • Crouch End
| Abandoned Warehouse | Parkland Walk & Crouch End Hill | Dereliction galore along one of the best walks in London. |
Map 55 • Harringay
| Railway Fields Nature Reserve | 381 Green Lanes | Calm oasis at former railway depot near Green Lanes station. |
Map 56 • Hampstead Village
| Hampstead Observatory | Lower Terrace & Hampstead Grove | The highest point in London, and open to the public! |
Map 57 • Hampstead Heath
| John Keats House | 38 Heath Hurst Rd | Here lived a writer whose name was writ with water. |
| Lawn Road Flats | Lawn Rd & Garnett Rd | c.1934 modern living. Learn to love concrete. |
Map 60 • Archway
| Banksy’s Hitchhiking Charles Manson | Tally Ho Corner (off Highgate Hill) | Early stencil by internationally renowned graff artist. |
| Dick Whittington’s Cat | 89 Highgate Hill | Small stone statue of obscure Mayor’s cat. |
Map 62 • Finsbury Park
| North London Central Mosque (Finsbury Park) | 7 St Thomas’s Rd | New name, ethos for once controversial, now myth-dispelling, mosque. |
Map 63 • Manor House
| The Castle Climbing Centre | Green Lanes & Lordship Park | Fake castle, real climbers. |
Map 64 • Stoke Newington
| Newington Green Church | 39 Newington Green | ‘ERECTED 1708, ENLARGED 1860’…well, it made us laugh. |
Map 67 • Belsize Park
| Freud Statue | Fitzjohn’s Ave, opposite Maresfiend Gardens Junction | Statue by Oscar Nemon near the psychoanalyst’s Hampstead home. |
| St Stephen’s | Rosslyn Hill | Gothic awesomeness. Currently being restored to its former glory. |
Map 68 • Kilburn High Road / Abbey Road
| Abbey Road Zebra Crossing | 3 Abbey Rd | Go on. Take THAT photo. You know you want to. |
Map 70 • Primrose Hill
| 3 Chalcot Square | 3 Chalcot Sq | Home of poet Sylvia Plath, 1960-61. |
Map 71 • Camden Town / Chalk Farm / Kentish Town (West)
| Camden Market | Camden Lock Pl | Shop, hang, drink, listen, pose, watch, chill, rock, laugh. |
| Grand Regents Canal | Grand Regents Canal | London’s best bike lane. Or canoe to Birmingham. |
| The Roundhouse | Chalk Farm Rd & Crogsland Rd | Prominent round building and historic performance venue. |
Map 74 • Holloway Road / Arsenal
| Gillespie Park | 191 Drayton Park | Weird and wonderful nature park along the train tracks. |
Map 75 • Highbury
| St Paul’s Shrubbery | St Paul’s Rd & Northampton Park | All Monty Python jokes welcome, in fact, positively encouraged. |
Map 76 • Edgeware Road / Marylebone (North)
| Sherlock Holmes’ House | 221 Baker St | It’s elementary my dear Watson! |
Map 77 • Mornington Crescent / Regent’s Park
| Euston Tower | 286 Euston Rd | Quite an impressive erection. |
| Greater London House | 180 Hampstead Rd | Crazy Art Deco building. |
Map 78 • Euston
| The British Library | 96 Euston Rd | Prestigious research library with unmatched collection. |
| Camden High Street | Camden High St & Delancey St | ‘Alternative’ tourist mecca. |
| Cheney Road | Cheney Rd & Weller’s Ct | “Chaplin, “Alfie” and many more were filmed on these cobbles. |
| Euston Station | Eversholt St & Doric Way | So ugly it’s oogly. |
| Platform 9¾ | King’s Cross Station | This Harry Potter thing has gone way too f’ing far. |
| St Pancras Station | St Pancras Way | Listed Gothic frontage, massive modern Eurostar hangar behind. |
| St Pancras | Pancras Rd & Euston Rd | Ex-Victorian workhouse turned superbug den. |
Map 80 • Angel / Upper St
| Angel Station Roof | Angel | You can get on the roof here, you epic teens. |
| The Bull | 100 Upper St | Hands up: who loves beer? |
Map 81 • Canonbury
| Gladiators Paving Slab | 10 Canonbury St | Logo of fighty telly show built into pavement. Me neither. |
Map 82 • De Beauvoir Town / Kingsland
| Suleymaniye Mosque | 212 Kingsland Rd | Striking minaret silhouetted against Shoreditch Church spire and Broadgate Tower. |
Map 84 • Hoxton
| Hoxton Square | Hoxton Sq | Great in summer. Buy some cans and join the hipsters. |
| Village Underground | 54 Holywell Ln | How did they get the trains up there? |
| White Cube | 48 Hoxton Sq | Jay Jopling’s homage to modern art |
Map 85 • Stoke Newington (East)
| Abney Park Cemetery | Stoke Newington High St & Rectory Rd | Egyptian revival-style, spooky nature reserve. |
Map 86 • Dalston / Kingsland
| Centreprise | 136 Kingsland High St | Multi-cultural art centre, cafe, bookshop and venue. |
| Holy Trinity, The Clowns Church | Beechwood Rd & Kirkland Walk | Every Feb, clowns mourn Grimaldi. In full costume. |
Map 87 • Hackney Downs / Lower Clapton
| London Orphan Asylum | Lower Clapton Rd & Linscott Rd | Grandiose remains of historic site now beloved of enviornmental artists. |
| The Strand Building | 29 Urswick Rd | Beautiful Art Deco building, NOT the subject of Roxy Music song. |
| Sutton House | 2 Homerton High St | Music and arts in the oldest house in East London. |
Map 88 • Haggerston / Queensbridge Rd
| Geffrye Museum | 136 Kingsland Rd | English interior design from 1600 to today. |
| St Mary’s Secret Garden | 50 Pearson St | A bit calm amongst the bees and the butterflies. |
Map 89 • London Fields / Hackney Central
| London Fields Lido | London Fields Westside | Open-air swimming for hardy Hackney folk. |
Map 91 • Shoreditch / Brick Lane / Spitalfields
| Brick Lane Mosque | 59 Brick Ln | The area’s changes reflect on the building – once a synagogue, now a mosque. |
| Christ Church Spitalfields | 2 Fournier St | Star architect Nicholas Hawksmoor’s pretty masterpiece. |
| Dennis Severs’ House | 18 Folgate St | Candle-lit cellar, parlour, smoking room - step 300 years back in time. |
| Spitalfields Market | 105 Commercial St | No bargains but certainly one-of-a-kind fashions. |
| Sweet Toof Graffiti Alley | Pedley St & Brick Ln | Signature sweeties and skulls – just off Brick Lane. |
| Ten Bells | 84 Commercial St | Where Jack the Ripper got his victims. |
| Truman’s Brewery | 91 Brick Lane | Beautiful old building now a hip weekend market. That’s progress… |
Map 92 • Bethnal Green
| Bethnal Green Tube Station | Bethnal Green Tube Station | Scene of the worst civilian loss of the Second World War. |
| London Buddhist Centre | 51 Roman Rd | Get your freak om. |
Map 93 • Globe Town / Mile End (North)
| Art Pavilllion | 221 Grove Rd | Arts center seemingly designed by the Teletubbies. |
| Mile End Climbing Wall | Haverfield Rd & Grove Rd | Classic climbing centre - one of London’s big three. |
Map 95 • De Beauvoir Town / Kingsland
| The Sun HQ | 1 Virginia Street | It’s probably not legal to stake out Page 3 girls. |
Map 96 • Whitechapel (East) / Shadwell (West) / Wapping
| Battle of Cable Street Mural, St George’s Hall | 236 Cable St | Celebrating an almighty multi-faith bashing of a 1930s fascist march. |
| Blind Beggar Pub | 337 Whitechapel Rd | A killing here finally led to Ronnie Kray doing porridge. |
Map 98 • Mile End (South) / Limehouse
| Ragged School Museum | 46 Copperfield Rd | Barnado’s school ‘for the deserving poor’ turned East End museum. |
Map 100 • Poplar (West) / Canary Wharf (West)
| Canary Wharf Tower | 1 Canada Sq | You can smell the money yards away. Look, don’t touch. |
| Canary Wharf Tube Station | Canary Wharf | Norman Foster’s Jewel in the Jubilee Line Extension. |
Map 102 • Millwall
| The Docklands Sailing & Watersport Centre | 235 Westferry Rd | Award-winning sailing centre. |
Map 104 • South Bank / Waterloo / Lambeth North
| County Hall | Westminster Bridge Rd & Belvedere Rd | One of London’s most historical and vast buildings. |
| The Hayward Gallery | Southbank Centre | Revered and reviled bruiser. |
| The London Eye | Westminster Bridge Rd | Two words: Tourist. Trap. Nice view though. |
| Low Tide at South Bank | South Bank | Go for a walk on the exposed riverbed. |
| National Theatre | Waterloo Rd & Upper Ground | South Bank centre-piece, looked like it was from 2050 in 1960. |
| The Pier at OXO Tower | Barge House St & Upper Ground | Screw OXO! Have a picnic on the pier instead. |
| South Bank Book Market | Under Waterloo Bridge | Little-known outdoor market; heaps of vintage and second-hand reads. |
| Waterloo Bridge | Waterloo Bridge | When tired with London, come here and watch the sunset. |
Map 105 • Southwark / Bankside (West)
| Buskers’ Archway | Southbank | Excellent acoustics make the decorated tunnel a coveted buskers’ spot. |
| Elephant & Castle | Elephant & Castle | Everything that was wrong with 60s town planning. Concrete hell. |
| Michael Faraday Memorial | Elephant & Castle | He gave us electromagnetism, we gave him a roundabout. |
| The Ring | 72 Blackfriars Rd | London’s first boxing ring was here; now a characterful pub. |
| Shakespeare’s Globe | 21 New Globe Walk | The Bard’s famous playhouse reconstructed. |
| Tate Modern | Bankside | Herzog and de Meuron dazzler. |
Map 106 • Bankside (East) / Borough / Newington
| Borough Market | 8 Southwark St | London’s best food market. Enjoy the free samples. |
| Cross Bones Graveyard | Redcross Way & Union St | Medieval resting place for London’s ladies of the night. |
| Female Gladiator | 159 Great Dover St | 1st centruy AD grave of London’s very own Xena. |
| The Golden Hinde | Clink St & Stoney St | Amazing replica of Francis Drake’s Tudor war ship. |
| The London Tombs | 2 Tooley St | Lesser known Tower experience—beware the plague pits. |
| Mint Street Park | Southwark Bridge Rd & Marshalsea Rd | Open space on the site of the old Evelina Children’s Hospital. |
| Old Operating Theatre Museum | 9 St Thomas St | Macabre ancient operating theatre, with gallery for eager spectators. |
| The Shard | 32 London Bridge St | 72-storey Renzo Piano glass pyramid along the river. |
| Southwark Cathedral | Cathedral St & Montague Close | Worth the diversion to see Chaucer and Shakespeare’s stomping grounds. |
| St George the Martyr | Borough High St & Tabard St | Look for the homage to Dickens. |
| Winchester Palace | Clink St & Storey St | Random 13th century ruins with remarkable rose window. |
Map 107 • Shad Thames
| City Hall | Queen’s Walk, More London | Dubbed ‘The Testicle’ by Mayor Ken Livingston. Nice. |
| Design Museum | Shad Thames | Fairly unsatisfying shows - drool-worthy bookshop. |
| Fashion and Textile Museum | 83 Bermondsey St | DAH-ling, it’s just fabulous! |
| Floating Gardens | 31 Mill St | Gardens. Mad tramps. On Boats. What else do you want? |
| HMS Belfast | Morgan’s Lane & Tooley St | Floating WW2 killing machine, much beloved of children. |
| Stompie | Mandela Way & Page’s Walk | Sounds like a baby elephant. But it’s a Soviet tank. |
| Tower Bridge | Tower Bridge Road | Messing about on the water. |
Map 110 • Rotherhithe (West) / Canada Water
| Brunel Museum | Railway Ave & Rotherhithe St | Where engineering geeks can seek refuge from being picked on. |
Map 111 • Rotherhithe (East) Surrey Quays
| Surrey Docks Farm | Rotherhithe St & Salter Rd | Show the kids what their bacon used to look like. |
Map 113 • Walworth
| East Street Market | Walworth Rd & East St | Gloriously useless stuff. |
| Heygate Estate | Deacon Way & Heygate St | A testament to urban planning gone horribly wrong. |
Map 114 • Old Kent Road (West) / Burgess Park
| The Animatronic Fireman | Old Kent Rd | Be afraid. Be very afraid. |
| Peckham Library | 122 Peckham Hill St | Groundbreaking modern architecture or huge, carelessly dropped Tetris block? |
Map 116 • South Bermondsey
| Millwall FC Stadium | Zampa Road & Bolina Rd | A football mecca for somebody? |
Map 120 • Greenwich
| Cutty Sark Gardens | King William Walk & Romney Rd | Where the Archbishop of Canterbury was murdered in 1012. |
| Greenwich Foot Tunnel | Greenwich Church St & Thames St | Walk/crawl/skip/limp under the Thames. |
Map 126 • New Cross
| Ben Pimlott Building | University of London, New Cross | A building of cheerful, dreary, warped, modern fascist fun. |
Map 131 • Vauxhall / Albert Embankment
| Lambeth Palace | Lambeth Palace Rd & Lambeth Rd | Where the Archbishop of Canterbury lives; no, not in Canterbury, stupid. |
| Secret Intelligence Service HQ (MI6) | 85 Vauxhall Cross | Real life James Bonds in a not-so-secret location. |
| Vauxhall City Farm | 165 Tyers St | So that’s where an egg comes from. |
Map 133 • Battersea (East)
| Battersea Dogs’ Home | 4 Battersea Park Rd | Re-house a pooch. Now does cats too. |
| Battersea Park Gasometers | Queenstown Rd & Prince of Wales Dr | Rusting monsters. |
| Battersea Power Station | 188 Kirtling St | The world’s most beautiful power station, surely. |
Map 140 • Clapham Junction / Northcote Rd
| Northcote Road | Northcote Rd | Middle-class marketing-types mecca. |
Map 143 • Clapham High Street
| Clapham Common Air-Raid Shelter | Clapham High St | The depths of government paranoia. |
Map 144 • Stockwell / Brixton (West)
| Brixton Market | Electric Ave & Electric Ln | Caribbean flavours, smells and sounds. |
| Electric Avenue | Electric Ave & Brixton Rd | First shopping area in Britain lit by electricity, in 1880. |
Map 145 • Stockwell / Brixton (East)
| Stockwell Bowls | Stockwell Rd & Stockwell Park Walk | 70’s concrete skatepark, take quads and get beaten-up. |
Map 152 • Tooting Broadway
| Gala Bingo Hall | 50 Mitcham Rd | Bingo hall with Grade One listed interior. |