At my wedding my dad stood up to deliver his father-of-the-bride speech. He looked so proud to be able to share his stories and memories of me as a child. I can still remember his handsome face, sharp suit and shiny black shoes. Dad has always had a way with words and always knows just what to say right when you need to hear it. He spoke beautifully, and thankfully made no mention of the worry I had given him throughout my childhood! ‘One thing about Ange,' he shared, ‘if you can't keep up with her you will get left behind.'
At the time I laughed. I knew he was right, but it was only years later that I really reflected on that comment and recognised that was how I have lived my whole life. Full throttle, full steam ahead, 100 miles an hour — I've heard them all. I have always approached life like a bull at a gate. As a child I never lived in fear, never thought, ‘I wonder if …' If I wanted to do something or try something I just did. I was either all in or not in at all.
Throughout my childhood, taking charge of my life, making choices, and setting and achieving my goals at full throttle seemed to work for me. But with more life experience, more decisions made and opportunities lost, I came to realise that fast is not always best. When we live life at full tilt we get a lot done but we also tire, we get distracted, at times we even crash and burn.
When writing my first book, The Power of Conscious Choice, I was living life in overdrive. I was working, building a business and looking after my children while my husband worked on the other side of the country for a few months. I was trying to focus on my fitness, my career and my family — basically I was trying to do it all. I had read all the books about how you can have it all, but it didn't seem to be working. Life was full, and that was the problem.
Books, magazines and online blogs are full of information on how we can slow down, take time out and find that elusive work–life balance. The idea is hardly cutting edge; it's not even new. The health, intellectual and spiritual benefits of slowing down have been recognised for thousands of years.
Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Taoism and Christianity, along with countless indigenous cultures, all share stories and practices around the importance of quietness and stillness, self-discovery, care for one another and the environment. These practices have been built on, interpreted and reinterpreted to apply to the modern world. In essence, though, the ancient traditions are as relevant today as they were thousands of years ago. Often we seem to fall short in our efforts to translate this knowledge into practice as we seek meaning, calmness and fulfilment in our lives, but we keep trying. With a rising interest in health retreats, corporate mindfulness programs, employer-supported mental health days, and school-based health and wellbeing programs, we are recognising the need to disconnect and prioritise our own health.
Health messages are being woven into messages delivered to children through television and film too. Movies such as Disney Pixar's Inside Out, Warner Bros.' Happy Feet and DreamWorks' Kung Fu Panda are all based on stories that look to educate and entertain children on important messages of mental health, confidence and finding your true self.
When we feel pulled in every direction, stepping off the treadmill to do the things we love can seem like an impossible dream. Taking the step to slow down can feel like one more thing to add to ‘the list'. But slowing down is far more productive than adding another task to your to-do list.
So how do you know when you should switch off? That is the question we will explore in the following three chapters.