“I can tell by the look on your face that something’s wrong, Carrie.” Elaine’s declaration makes me stop short. She’s crouched on her knees, weeding around a small patch of bushes. If she didn’t say a word, I wouldn’t know she was there at all.
“You mean, like this?” I ask, turning to her. I give her my best Grumpy Cat imitation.
She wipes sweat off her brow as she laughs. “Now you look just like your dad.”
My own laugh catches in my throat.
I drop to the ground next to her. Who cares if I get my work pants dirty? I cross my legs and pick up a small, white stone from the garden bed.
“How was your first week?” she asks, turning away. I know this trick. Elaine used it all the time when I was younger. Pretend you’re busy so the teen will open up. It worked. I watched her use it on me and her older son, Dan, all the time. I’m sure she uses it on Mikey, too.
But I’m not a teen anymore.
“Good.” An image of Claudia kissing Mark slams into my mind. “Okay,” I say, correcting myself. And then I add, with a dismissive sound, “Actually, it kind of sucks.”
“A new job means you have a lot to learn.” Her voice is carefully neutral. I know what she wants to ask. I don’t have the courage to call her out on it.
“Yes. Computer systems and time card programs and—”
“You’re out for revenge, aren’t you?” she asks abruptly.
Well. I guess I don’t have to call her out on anything.
“No,” I say slowly. And it’s true. “I’m not out for revenge. I’m out for justice.”
A long sigh pours out of her and she shifts her hips and knees, suddenly on her butt and sitting next to me. She slides her gardening gloves off and runs a hand through her sweaty hair.
“It’s really easy to mix up revenge and justice, Carrie.”
My throat tightens.
“I won’t.”
She starts to say something, then stops herself. She presses her eyelids together in a tight squint, like she’s struggling. I see all the wrinkles around her eyes and realize her hair is much grayer than it used to be. The roots are showing. We’ve all gotten older.
Have we gotten wiser?
“Brian doesn’t talk about it,” Elaine says, her voice thick with emotion. I suddenly feel helpless, like a little girl. “Joe’s arrest and conviction, I mean. We lost the bar. Your dad owned more of it and they claimed the storeroom was used for drugs, so it became a…what did they call it?” She makes a nasty sound. “A ‘civil seizure.’ That’s what it’s called. Because the bar was supposedly used to store drugs and deal drugs, the police had the right to take it. We lost everything.”
Her nostrils flare. A ball of shame grows in my stomach. I know I have nothing to feel ashamed of. Dad didn’t deal drugs or store them in the bar. My dad did nothing wrong. But I’ve spent all these years so focused on him that I didn’t think about this. I didn’t think in any depth about how Dad’s arrest and conviction ripped Elaine and Brian’s life apart.
“So the bar wasn’t sold?”
She shakes her head. “The police seized it. Some real estate investor bought it. Then the coffee shop opened. It’s like the bar was never there. All that work—gone.”
Gone.
I blink harder and harder. My mind feels like confetti. The day at work was bad enough. I can handle stress. If Stress were an Olympic sport I’d be the captain of the U.S. team and a quadruple gold medalist.
Even I can’t handle much more today, though. Why does life have to happen all at once? Can’t the universe spread things out just a little?
“You never got a penny for the bar?”
She rolls her eyes. “No. In fact, we had to pay a bunch of bills long after they shut it down.” She casts her eyes down and plucks at a stray, dry leaf that’s attached to her t-shirt. “Don’t tell Brian I told you, but we had to declare bankruptcy.”
Now it’s my heart that seizes.
“I’m so sorry, Elaine.” My tears pour down, slow and fat. The sorrow inside me is quiet. Steady. I’m not anxious or freaking out. It’s a more mature feeling, one that is deep inside me.
“Oh, honey, you’ve done nothing wrong.” She reaches out and squints up at the sun. “Joe didn’t do anything wrong, either. That damn Landau, though…” A puff of air streams out of her, both fast and slow. “Watch out for him. He’s devious.”
I think of Claudia earlier today, kissing Mark but going off with Eric.
So’s his daughter.
“Did you and Brian have any interactions with him?” I feel weird asking Elaine questions like this. I feel like hugging her and just crying together. Asking questions is important, though. I came back with a purpose. I came back home for justice.
And justice means seeking answers.
“No. Not a word. But he set up Joe and because of that, we lost damn near everything. Brian, Dan and Mikey spent that summer fixing up the cabins and by the skin of our teeth we got enough rental income to make it that first year before the bankruptcy went through. You know how expensive lawyers are?” Her tone of voice goes dark. “We paid for a lot of lawyers to make sure Brian didn’t get dragged into Joe’s mess.”
Joe’s mess.
“And the police wouldn’t even let us set foot in the bar. Not once. All that inventory, all our paperwork, all the business equipment. Brian couldn’t even take the pictures of Mikey and Danny he had at his desk! Just poof. Gone. Erased.”
Erased. Like my dad.
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I bounce up. She gives me a half-grin. “You kids and your phones.” Elaine gives me a shooing gesture, like I should read the text.
Heard you’re in town. Amy gave me your number. Need some puppy love?
The text is from Minnie, the woman who runs the local no-kill animal shelter. Minnie also happens to be Amy’s mother, so I was expecting this text to come some day.
I smile and wave the phone at Elaine. “It’s Minnie.”
“Oh,” Elaine coos, her face softening. “You going down there to hug all the puppies?”
I pause. I started volunteering at the animal shelter when I was eleven. For the past three years the closest I’ve been to a dog is the strays on the streets of OKC I’d sometimes give half a sandwich to. Spending time surrounded by wagging tails and puppy kisses sounds perfect.
“I guess I am,” I tell Elaine, clearing my throat twice to get the words out. With a few taps I tell Minnie I’ll be there after I change out of my work clothes. She replies back with a smiley face.
Elaine stands and gives me a complex look. I see sadness in her eyes. I also see fear. “Make sure you really are careful, Carrie.”
“With the puppies?” I know she doesn’t mean that, but my nerves make me say it anyway.
“With Landau.” She’s dead serious. “There is something close to evil in that man. Stay close to Mark.”
“Mark?” I choke out. Talk about an abrupt change of topic.
Her face goes contemplative. “Yes, Mark. He loves you, and—”
“I caught Mark kissing Claudia at my office today, Elaine.” The words are out before I can stop myself.
“Son of a….” Her voice drops. “What was that man thinking?”
I shrug. Elaine frowns and puts her arm around my shoulders. We both look up as a plane flies by, the kind that carries a banner off its tail. The banner says something about a big festival coming this weekend.
“Really, Carrie? You’re sure he was kissing Claudia Landau?”
All I can do is nod.
“Damn. Danny won’t be happy.”
“Danny? Danny Danny?”
She gives me a rueful smile. “Yep. My Danny. He’s been dying to ask her out forever. If she’s with Mark now…”
“I don’t think she is.”
“But you just said…”
“I walked in on them kissing, but then an old friend of mine, Eric, came in and suddenly Mark said he and I were supposed to play Euchre with you and Brian, and Eric asked Claudia to go into the city and go dancing, and I left.” All my words came out in a jumbled rush.
Elaine halts.
“That’s a lot to take in,” she says dryly.
“No kidding.”
“Bottom line: Mark’s not dating Claudia?”
I throw my hands up in the air. “Heck if I know. He just insisted Eric couldn’t ask me out because I was already…” My turn for my voice to drop off.
“Taken?” Elaine’s clearly amused.
“Busy,” I answer firmly. “But I’m not.”
“You’re not playing cards with us on Friday?” She seems offended. Oh, great.
“No, no, I am,” I assure her. I curse Mark silently for putting me in this position. He thinks he can control my life and kiss Claudia? What? I need Amy. Now. My mind is buzzing with too many thoughts. My heart is crying from too many emotions. Someone has to talk me down.
Elaine gives me a quick hug and walks into her house, whistling lightly.
Hold on.
Have I just been played?
As Elaine’s front door shuts I stare at the door knocker, banging twice, like a ghost trying to get in.