THE woman knew how to hit him in the heart, Saul thought with a quick smile. Their time together had been short so far, only a few months in the grand scheme of things, but it was time well spent. The trust between them had blossomed into something special, strong and proud in its growing stage.
His eyes wandered over her, curled like a sleepy kitten in the arms of the man he considered to be nothing less than a brother, and relished in the innocence she still exuded, despite everything they’d done together.
That innocence was one of the reasons he’d procrastinated over taking her ass. He’d been her first in everything, taken all but one of her virginities, and it terrified him to think that stripping her of the final one would leave her with nothing left.
There was too much joy inside her when they engaged in a scene, so much anticipation and eagerness to learn. She’d taught herself, under his guidance and with advice from Tess, Dee, and Mac, how to forget—for the most part—the keenest edge of nerves that made her question everything.
If he broke that wonderment, if he broke her, he would ruin the most beautiful thing he’d ever touched. She was a gift, his Caera, a gift he didn’t deserve, one he didn’t know why he’d been given but one he treasured above all else.
“You humble me,” he murmured. He blew out a breath and smiled at her. “Fate was far too kind when she set you in my hands, baby.” He stepped forward, gathered her into his arms as Mac relinquished her. She was an easy weight. Still too lean for his liking, but her body was becoming fitter, healthier. “My gorgeous, trusting, brave girl.”
Her green eyes held his gaze, bright with love and knowledge. She trusted him implicitly, a fact that lifted his heart to no end, and made the secrets he kept from her that much more of a burden.
But she didn’t need to know what her vile excuse of a mother had done to her as a child or that her father was a spineless piece of shit. If she didn’t remember, Saul would not throw it all in her face and bring it to the surface. There was no reason for her to know how much money he’d spent to secure her freedom after her mother had sold her virginity to a foreign buyer.
The same virginity, Saul remembered with a sly grin, Caera had given to him willingly, of her own volition, when she’d been ready to take that most intimate step forward. Another precious gift he could never repay.
“Time for you to take a shower,” he murmured against the soft spot beneath her ear. “A good, long, hot shower and a few hours’ sleep.”
“I’d prefer a good, long, hot f-f—”
He loved it when she stuttered over profanities. He knew she was more than capable of swearing, had heard her with his own ears. But ask her to swear in a sentence of sexual implication and she turned into a tongue-twisted wreck.
“What was that, baby?” he asked, amused.
Caera glared at him. “Fuck.”
“Not in my office you don’t. Saul, go get her cleaned up and seen to. I’d like you back here to discuss a few things when Caera’s settled in bed.” Mac leaned back in his desk chair, stretched a little. “You’ve got your own living quarters upstairs; you can copulate like deranged bunnies there.”
“My pleasure.” Saul swept her out into the hall and carried her effortlessly up the stairs toward their room and the en suite shower. “We’ll fuck like rampant bunnies whenever you like, baby. But something tells me you’ll be asleep before I get you toweled off.”
She huffed at him. “Will not. I’m fine.”
“That’s what you try to convince me every time we finish a scene, Caera, and you always end up asleep on whatever solid surface you can find.” He set her on her unsteady feet when they reached the bathroom. “Anything you need to talk about?”
She grinned and, tilting her head, let the blanket slide loosely away until it pooled at her feet in a sorry puddle, leaving her completely bare to Saul’s hungry eyes. “What is it with you guys and talking? Surely Sir can come up with something much more enjoyable than that?”
His mouth was dry, his face felt slack. He knew his mouth gaped open but he didn’t care. Keeping control of his fingers as they itched to stroke that glorious pale tan became a priority. “Topping from the bottom, Caera? Have I not explained the consequences of that thoroughly enough for you?”
Her lips curved, and Saul could almost taste her, feel the gentle rub and press of her mouth against his. He hungered for it, for her, in a way he’d never experienced with any other woman—submissive or vanilla. “Oh, would Sir like to top his submissive’s bottom?”
Lust exploded through his veins. His hands fisted in an effort not to take her where she stood, to alleviate the discomfort of imagining what he could have with a word. “Your bottom is mine, Caera. I’ll decide when and where and how I take it.”
The little minx touched the tip of her tongue to her top lip in a saucy gesture. “You could take me now, here, rough and tough and hard.”
Saul leaned forward, caressed the shell of her ear with his tongue, and felt the shudder rip through her. Even as he chuckled, his teeth bit none too gently into the lobe and made her yelp. “If I wanted to hear you cry, if I needed to hear you scream, you’d already be on your knees with my cock inside you. Don’t think I’m going easy on you, Caera. You’ll know when I claim you, trust me.”
As though realizing he was serious, all pretense of the sexy little nymph disappeared and her normal submissiveness returned. “Yes, Sir.”
“Good girl.” He tapped her on the ass gently. “Into the shower you go, sweetheart.” He took a moment to admire said ass as Caera turned to step into the massive shower.
The water came on and coursed down her body, sleeking back her blonde hair so it became a deep gold fall down her shoulders. His intentions to go prepare the bed for her flowed down the drain; there was no way he could walk away from the visage of desire in front of him.
Soundlessly, unable to tear his gaze away from the curve of her hips, the slight fullness of her developing buttocks, Saul drew his shirt over his head and tossed it aside. His jeans followed, and he had a moment of turmoil when he tried to pull his boxers over the prominent erection straining forcefully to be free.
Finally naked, he stepped in behind Caera and wrapped his arms around her tightly, resting his chin on her shoulder and rocking his erection against her ass. “You’d tempt me to fuck you even if it was the middle of the night and I wore a blindfold.”
Water cascaded over the pair of them, surrounding them in a liquid wall of heat. His hands wandered, teasing ticklish places, stroking lean muscles that quivered under his touch. Absently, he let his mouth work over her shoulders and neck with open-mouthed kisses and sharp nips of teeth.
Every gasp he elicited from her, every moan and shudder, propelled his lust into a frenzy. This would not be a joining between Dom and submissive, he knew as his fingers traced the seam of her lower lips. This would be love and sex in its simplest form; two bodies coming together in a whirlwind of passion.
“Saul,” Caera moaned his name like a prayer.
Her flesh felt swollen, the texture of her slickness different to the water pouring over their heads. He parted her, delved deep inside the heat of her, and felt her body tense. “You okay?”
She hissed out a breath. “Just a little sore, I guess. Mac was…thorough.”
“Oh really?” Saul bit the sensitive spot between her neck and shoulder. “How thorough?”
“Extremely,” she said with a soft cry, her hips starting to rock into his hand.
He spun her around, had her back pressed against the tiles so quickly she lost her breath on a sharp exhale. There was only one thought in his head and that was to reclaim her as his. The savagery of the thought showed in his kiss, a violent meeting of lips and teeth and tongues. “He doesn’t know the meaning of the word.”
Her brilliant green eyes were wide and aware when he yanked her legs up around his waist, watching his every move. Her arms came around his shoulders, clung tightly.
Saul thanked God for the decision they’d made to put her on the pill. They were too spur of the moment when it came to sex; if he wanted her, he’d stop at nothing to have her…but pregnancy was one thing he wouldn’t wish on her. Not now, when she was so young and just finding her feet in her new life.
He claimed her mouth again, thrusting his tongue deep, nipping her bottom lip with his teeth. When she moaned and relaxed into his hold, he drove inside her to the hilt, using her weight and his own strength to penetrate the tightness of her muscles.
“Oh God, oh God!” Her head fell back on a throaty groan. “Saul!”
His body drifted into autopilot, focused only on slow withdrawal followed by fierce, possessive re-entry. Blood pulsed through his veins and his head and pounded like tribal drums in his ears, a wicked accompaniment to Caera’s grunts of exertion and breathy ah-ah-ah’s.
“More,” he growled. “Goddamn it, give me more.”
She hooked one arm securely around his neck, letting her body ease away from his, much to his disappointment. With her free hand, she reached between them to where his pubic bone battered hers and fumbled to find her clit. The first strum of her fingers over that bundle of nerves made her pussy tighten around his cock as effectively as a noose around his neck. He gave a strangled groan and hammered into her harder.
She shuddered, her body growing tense. He felt the orgasm start deep within her, her tight inner muscles rippling as her nerves sang with pleasure. “That’s it, baby. Let it come, give it to me.”
Her back arched, shoulders pressed against the shower wall, hips locked to his as she jerked in gratifying spasms of release. Little sounds of adoration purred in her throat; Saul pressed his lips to the pulse rabbiting there and grinned at the vibrations that trickled through him.
His woman was a happy, dirty girl.
“One more,” he demanded. “One more, Caera, and this time you come with me. No one will ever love you like I do. No one will ever fuck you like I can. Not Mac, not Deanna. They might have you if that’s what you need, but they’ll never have you. You belong to me.”
Steam billowed around them now, a curtain of soft, wet heat.
“Only you,” she panted.
“Damn right, only me.” His thrusts grew brutal, the sounds of hard, rough sex echoing over the tempo of water. He felt her clench around him, felt her nails gouge into his back even as his balls tightened viciously and tingles caressed his spine. “With me, Caera. With me now.”
She shattered, coming apart in his arms as he rammed home in an upward lunge. His orgasm bordered on painful, such was the force of his ejaculation. He shouted her name an instant before his knees gave way and he managed to sink them both gracefully to the tiled floor with Caera still wrapped around him like ivy on a tree.
They sat there for a few minutes, stunned into breathless silence. Caera broke it first, a wicked chuckle rumbling through her chest. Seconds later, it burst free on a lovely peal of laughter. “I think I like it rough, tough guy.”
“I can do rough, sweetheart.” Saul touched a kiss to her forehead, then her cheeks, ending with a peck on the tip of her pert little nose. “I can do anything you ask me to.”
There was a moment’s silence, heavy with anticipation.
“Does that include what you and Mac were discussing?”
He’d known it would come back to that. It was inevitable. “We’ll talk about that later, when you’ve had your nap.” He swiped at the water running down his face. “We’d better get up before we drown in the shower.”
Caera frowned at him and then sighed. “Fine.”
They managed to untangle themselves and stand on unsteady feet. In cooling water, they washed each other and then stepped out and dried off with fluffy towels.
Hand in hand, they walked to the bedroom and Saul peeled back the covers on the queen-size bed. He smiled at the love of his life, whose eyes were starting to glaze and flutter closed. “Come on, baby. You’re asleep on your feet.”
“’s all your fault,” she mumbled and practically wilted onto the mattress. Like a rag doll, she lay meekly while he positioned her comfortably and then tucked the duvet around her as though the world would end if she got a chill. “Stay with me?”
“Can’t, sweetheart. Big boss man’s summoned me to his office, remember? I’ll come back as soon as he’s done with me. Just close your eyes and drift away,” he said soothingly. “The dreams won’t come, I promise.”
An empty promise, Saul knew, as they couldn’t predict when the fucking night terrors would prey on Caera in her sleep. Sometimes she could go a week without a single one; other times, they could hit her several times in a few days, whenever she closed her eyes to rest.
Better, much better, than when they’d first met. Back then, the damned things had been driving her insane, destroying any modicum of sleep she might have found and exhausting her beyond the limits of sanity.
Jennifer—Caera’s close friend—and James—Saul’s best friend, who also happened to be married to Jennifer—had been concerned about the effects of Caera’s sleepless nights. So concerned in fact, he recalled with the briefest scowl, that they’d taken it upon themselves to set Caera up with Saul in the hopes he could help her.
The right intentions, he knew, but gone about the wrong way.
“Will you take the monitor?” Her small hand worked out from under the covers to grasp his.
Saul leaned over to flick on the baby monitor beside the bed and picked up the receiver. A small thing but one that seemed to give her comfort when he didn’t make it to bed at the same time as she did. He made a show of turning on the one in his hand. “I’ll keep it on me until I come back. You’re never alone, Caera.”
Thin slits of green peered up at him. “Don’t be long, okay?”
He kissed her softly, smoothed his hand over the damp blonde tresses. “You won’t even know I’ve been gone, sweetheart. Go to sleep now.”
Her eyes closed, and Saul rose to get dressed in clean underwear, black jeans, and a black cotton shirt. He waited a good ten minutes to make sure she was well and truly asleep and then slipped the monitor into his back pocket and stole quietly from the room.
* * * *
Mac was scowling at something on his computer when Saul knocked on the open office door and stepped inside. He glanced up briefly and then turned his attention back to whatever problem annoyed him.
“Does Caera have any experience with bar work?”
Saul blinked slowly. “Um…I don’t think so?”
“Fuck.” Mac kicked back from his desk and sighed. “Yet another bartender just quit at Crack the Whip. I don’t know if there’s a problem with management or if the ones I’m hiring are just fucking useless. You think Caera would be interested in learning the ropes?”
Considering it, Saul nodded slowly. “I think she would. She’s not too happy with me paying her way right now, even though I’m more than capable of affording it. She used enough of her inheritance trying to keep a roof over her head. She might appreciate the chance to pay her own way.”
“Good. Run it by her. She can start as soon as she feels ready.” With a nod of approval for a problem solved well and solved quickly, Mac eyed Saul speculatively. “Couldn’t resist, could you?”
Saul chuckled. “How the hell did you?”
“She’s not ready to take me yet. Thinks she is, but she’s not. Today was just the beginning for her if she truly wants to take us both.” Mac’s eyes darkened with unspoken thoughts. “I want to see her two, three times a week in one of the playrooms until she gets used to being in close proximity to me.”
“I’m sure that can be arranged.”
“I hate to say it, Saul, but you need to pull your finger out of your ass and introduce her to anal. I have excellent self-control but something about her tests it. I’d never forgive myself, and I don’t think you’d forgive me, if I took that part of her before you. Get it done, give her pleasure, and make it fucking memorable for her.”
Saul blew out a heavy breath and voiced his concerns. “What if I damage her, Mac? If I take the last shred of innocence she has, what has she got left?”
Mac ran his thumb over his mouth thoughtfully. “Has she or has she not expressed an interest in trying it? Has she protested during anal play?”
“Well no, but—”
“Listen to her needs, Saul. You might not like, understand, or approve of them but she’s a fledgling sub. Her world’s suddenly opened up into a huge maze of possibilities and opportunities. She needs you to support her.” He grinned suddenly, flashing straight white teeth. “Chances are, she could think of things you’ve never even considered. She seems quite…imaginative, given the right incentive.”
“Yeah, yeah, she’s that all right,” Saul muttered. “It’s not a case of understanding or approving her choices, Mac. She has every right to test herself as she sees fit; I’ll be there with her when she does. I just want to…” He trailed off with a disgusted exhale.
“Protect her. From herself or you?”
“Both.”
“Trouble is, as I see it,” Mac said quietly, “is that if she really wants to try something, she’s going to do it regardless. Tess gets that mindset; drives me up the wall. There’s more likelihood in someone else hurting her, using her, than there is of you breaking her.”
That made horrible sense. The thought of a strange man touching his Caera in her private places, of strange hands seeking out what made her hot and bothered, of another cock taking what belonged to him…Saul felt a snarl of rage build in his chest. Infuriated, he leaped to his feet.
“That’s it, buddy. Let some of that rage out.”
Something inside him snapped. The vilest of sensations jolted through him, a lightning bolt freeing him from the constraints of holding everything in. A torrent of profanities fell from his tongue as he picked up the handiest item—Mac’s pen pot from the edge of the desk—and hurled it at the wall.
Clay shattered, exploded on impact. Pens bounced off the wall and scattered over the carpet. Months of stress and self-doubt ripped a hole in him, one filled quickly by the exhilaration of violence.
God, he felt like he could break someone—anyone—in half with his bare hands. Longed for the days of his youth when beating the hell out of another was only frowned upon and put down to “boys being boys.” He wanted the blood of Caera’s imaginary lover on his hands, the smell of fearful surrender in the air.
He kicked the chair he’d been sitting on, sent it spinning into the opposite wall. It dented the plaster, took a good chunk out of the paintwork, but didn’t take the edge off what was eating him from the inside out.
When he heard the whimper, he looked around blankly. Some of his raw anger faded but remained at the forefront of his consciousness ready to flare again with the least provocation.
In his chair behind the desk, Mac looked calm and unruffled by Saul’s temper tantrum. With a long-fingered hand, he gestured casually to Saul’s pocket. “Smart idea, keeping your girl on monitor.”
Still dazed from the release, Saul frowned and looked back at his bulging pocket, his head tilting to one side as another, more insistent whimper sounded. “Shit. I promised her they wouldn’t come for her tonight.”
“Never promise that. You can’t control her subconscious any more than she can.” Mac stood and rested his palms on the desktop. “Are you in a fit state to deal with her, or would you rather I ask one of the girls?”
“No, no, I can—” Saul scrubbed a hand over his face and felt as though he’d been run over by an eighteen-wheeler. How could anyone be so tired, down to the fucking bone? “I need to get to bed myself. I’ll go settle Caera down, stay with her. Thanks, Mac.”
“Think about what we’ve talked over, Saul. Now go, get your girl before she screams the place down again. She was hoarse for three days last time.”
She’d done more than that, Saul thought as he rushed from the office, Caera’s desperate sounds of terror emanating from his pocket. Her screams had been so wild, so utterly panicked, she’d been barely able to talk and spent a couple days coughing up small flecks of blood. He’d never experienced a level of fear where a scream could pop blood vessels.
It was worse than he thought when he reached their bedroom and hit the low lights. She writhed in the middle of the bed, bedsheets twisted around her body. Her face turned away from him, hidden in the shadows, but from his position, he could see the visible rivulets of sweat on her skin.
Saul stepped into the room, stripped off his shirt and jeans, and set about detangling her—no easy feat considering she thrashed and fought him every step of the way. He barely escaped with his teeth when she made a wild swing at him, and then he had her enveloped tightly against him.
Over their time together, Saul had discovered the best way to coax her free of the night terrors was a combination of vocal encouragement and cradling her against bare skin. He rocked her, tucking her into his body for maximum exposure.
“All right, baby, we can see this through. We’ve dealt with worse, we can deal with this. I’ve got you now, I’m not letting go.” He pressed his lips to her forehead, felt the chill of her skin. “Come on back to me now, gorgeous. I want to see those beautiful green eyes, okay?”
Her breath came in erratic pants, her body straining to resist what haunted her dreams. Sweat transferred from her flesh to his, shivers vibrated through him like ripples over water.
He reached for the box on the bedside table, pulled a handful of baby wipes free. Her favorite kind, ones soaked in aloe vera. Gently, he stroked them over her face, taking care around her eyes. She lashed out, her forearm connecting with his in a nasty blow.
Swearing, Saul pinned her. “Gotta come around from this, Caera. Gotta fight it, gotta be stronger. The ones who’ve done this to you, fucked with your head, they can’t win. You can’t let them win, understand me?”
Minutes seemed to fly by into hours. Hours of rocking, of talking and soothing. Hours of wondering if this one was the big one, the one she couldn’t bring herself back from.
Animalistic sounds grumbled in her chest, and then everything in her relaxed. Stunned, he looked down at her face and discovered her features were lax, almost serene. Not daring to hope, he shook her carefully and murmured her name.
She blinked at him, eyes unfocused. “Saul?”
“Yeah, baby. You okay?”
“Hmmm. Been better,” she murmured softly.
“I bet. Do you remember any of it?”
Asking Caera to recall her night terrors was another part of the routine. What little bits she could remember, few and far between, took some of the strain off her, cleared her head. And the snapshots into her mind gave Saul an idea of which direction to go, how to coach her through the nights.
Her head started to loll as she drifted away again. “No.”
He kissed her forehead. “Okay, baby. Go back to sleep.”
She’d already slipped back under. With a relieved sigh, he shifted her gently so she lay next to him. He had only to nudge her onto her side to be able to curl his arm protectively around her waist and let himself follow her into sleep.
* * * *
When she woke the next morning, Caera was warm and languid, her body relaxed and curled over the arm around her waist. Her bottom pressed cheekily against Saul’s morning wood. Smiling, eyes still closed, she wiggled her ass and felt his erection stiffen, signaling his sleepy interest.
A yawn big enough to swallow a minivan cracked her face. She opened her eyes, debating whether to pursue sex with Saul first or whether her private bathroom needs took precedence.
Her choked scream cut off when a hand clamped over her mouth. Mischievous blue eyes danced with laughter, belonging to a stunning redhead currently using her palm as an effective gag. “Ssssh.”
Caera’s muffled, “What the hell, Tess?” lost emphasis behind Tess’ palm. She reached up and peeled her friend’s hand away, hissed, “What the hell, Tess?”
“Hey.” Mac’s fiancée was near perfection in Caera’s opinion. Brilliantly blue eyes in an almost pixie-like face, framed by a shaggy mop of luscious red hair. She was tall, although her current position—sprawled out next to Caera—didn’t offer a suggestion as to how tall. Upright, Caera knew the other woman was about five feet, ten inches but when she stood next to Mac, who measured in at a sexy six-foot-six, she looked tiny. “So, I came to pay you a visit.”
Caera felt Saul’s arm twitch around her waist. “Here?”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m being spooned by Saul,” Caera hissed back. “With you in here, I feel as though I’m the filling in a sandwich.”
“Hmm, tasty.” Tess beamed at her. “So, how did it go with Mac? Did he let you be the filling in his sandwich?”
Caera lifted an eyebrow. “That doesn’t make sense.”
“I guess not,” Tess said cheerfully. “But it doesn’t matter, you get my drift. Tell me what happened between you two.”
Caera shifted uncomfortably, unsure if this conversation was something she should venture into. Saul’s low moan in her ear and the slow thrust of his cock against her rear made moisture gather between her legs and blood rush to her cheeks.
“I’m not moving until you tell me.” Tess grinned widely. “Morning, Saul.”
He grunted a response, evidently unsurprised to find Tess loitering in bed with them. He nibbled lazily along Caera’s shoulder to her nape, and she felt the bastard’s lips curve against her skin when a savagely erotic shudder ripped down her spine. “Saul, we’re not alone.”
His hand slid down her front and into the vee of her thighs. His fingers delved into the slippery slickness of her pussy. “I know. I don’t care.”
She whimpered, her eyes open and locked with Tess’ amused ones. She was torn between mortification and arousal, her body reacting to Saul’s ministrations and her mind fighting the intimacy of the situation.
“Don’t be scared,” Tess whispered, leaning in close to Caera’s ear. “I’m just going to watch. Watching isn’t as much fun as participating, but it’s a close second.”
“Pervert,” Caera said on a moaning laugh.
“Cut from the same cloth.” Unoffended, Tess reached out and plucked one of Caera’s nipples into a rosy point. “Don’t get me wrong, if Saul says I can play, I’m all for it. Deanna’s taught me a lot about how to pleasure another woman. But I have voyeuristic tendencies, just like you. Exhibitionist tendencies, just like you.”
“I don’t…oh! Oh, fuck, Saul!” Caera arched suddenly, thrusting her pussy onto her lover’s hand and the tingly spot that sent mini shockwaves of orgasm racing over her damp skin.
Did she like to watch? Well, maybe she found herself getting wet when she observed Mac and Tess sometimes. Did she like to be watched? If the soft liquid sounds muffled by the covers were any indication, that was a resounding yes.
God, how embarrassing.
“Stop thinking,” Saul ordered and brought to her climax.