The right dress or the right suit can change the course of a Queendom. You think I jest. But there are queens and dukes who fell in love at first sight. Without the right tailor, they would have faded right into the wallpaper.”
Madame Linea was dressing me for the part of Couterie as if her life and mine depended upon it. She’d spent the better part of the week after the Challenge filling up my closet with gowns in a rainbow of colors and styles. There were tailors and fittings and it all seemed so ridiculous. I wasn’t used to being fussed over, especially by humans. There was a very big difference between being a Shadow to the Couterie and being one of them.
If Couterie and Shadow were miles apart, then being Entente was another planet. I remembered dresses that floated from closets and shimmied down over my dark, curly hair with a flick of my wand. And bracelets of flowers.
As I stood in front of a pile of colorful clothes Madame Linea had left for me to try on, memories of my Entente life flooded my consciousness. I remembered Bari using her own wand and instead of decorating herself with blooms, she’d replaced her limbs with glowing beetles.
“Don’t move, Farrow. If you crush them, you crush me,” she’d said. “We don’t just wake up one day ready for big magic. We have to prepare.”
Bari believed that no one ever became a Fate without some risk. The same seemed to apply to avenging them.
In my head I could see Bari beside Galatea after one of our lessons in the courtyard.
“What if I am never as good as you?” I asked Bari as she created and spun a spiderweb around her finger the way human girls twisted curls around theirs.
Across the courtyard, Selina was making herself a crown of flowers with her wand. Em had turned her wand on herself and was making a face with wolf teeth. Freya was blowing fire rings. Everyone was better than I was.
“That’s human talk. You are made of magic. You might even surpass me one day,” Bari said with a wry smile.
“Liar,” I said.
“Hardly. I have faith in you. Every day my magic gets stronger. It’s just a matter of time for you. If the sisters haven’t taught us that, then they have taught us nothing. The Past informs the Present and the Future.”
“But doesn’t the Past inform the Present and the Present informs the Future?”
“Iolanta can’t inform anyone,” Bari blurted with a laugh.
I remembered how her face had fallen. As if she had regretted her words.
“But you’re right. Look at what I can do today that I couldn’t do yesterday. And who knows what I can do tomorrow? There is no such thing as bad or good magic. There’s what you can do and what you cannot,” she said.
“Just promise me that you’ll be more careful,” I said gently.
“Only if you promise that you will be the opposite.” She smiled.
I tried to shut out the memories. Bari hadn’t been careful the day of the Burning and she was gone. And I wasn’t being careful now.
I reopened my eyes, and then moved to put the dresses away as Linea walked by my open door.
“Leave them for your Shadow,” she commanded. Linea had not gone to the orphanage to look for another match for me as she had before. She had chosen one of the maids instead. After a few surgeries, the resemblance was close enough. But seeing her altered face wounded me every time.
“Where is Holocene?” I wondered aloud. In all the excitement, I realized she hadn’t returned since breakfast.
“You aren’t supposed to be concerned about where your Shadow is. It is her job to be concerned about where you are,” Linea instructed.
Everything felt like a lesson or a test from Linea. It was another tightrope that I was expected to walk. And like Linea had said, I knew that there was no net beneath me.
After all the clothes and shoes were bought, after my hair was braided and my skin polished, Madame Linea turned her attention to my education. Being Couterie meant more than knowing the Ana. I also had to entertain, advise, and be able to defend the prince. All this was the price of entry.
Singing was quickly dismissed. Lavendra sang like a bell, and I sang like some sort of wounded animal, according to Madame Linea. It was one of the few things that the doctor could not fix. So my lessons were focused on dancing, as well as the defensive arts, which were the hardest skills to master.
I still felt like I was part servant, part Shadow. No Shadow had ever had to step in for her Couterie. And absolutely no one let me forget that. I felt my frustration rise at being defined by the prince’s whims, even when I had a plan of my own.
“It’s just the first day. You will improve, my dear. There is a difference between having all eyes on you and you having your eyes on another. You will learn,” Madame Linea counseled.
At least fencing gave me an excuse to wield a sword. Perhaps it would come in handy when I faced off with the Queen.
I was a scrappy fighter, not an elegant one. It felt good to let my foil fly and concentrate on movement and power.
When the session was finally done, I presented myself in front of Madame Linea, triumphant.
“Effective. But the royals expect more flare.”
“Wouldn’t they prefer to be alive?” I asked.
“If you are royal, you don’t expect to have to choose between any two things. You can have them all.”
I tapped my fingers against the handle of the blade and stopped myself.
“You still fight like an orphan, not like a Couterie.”
I didn’t care about artistry. I cared only about killing the Queen. But I had to please Madame Linea or I would never actually make it to the palace.
I raised my blade again.