Shaking my head, I’d come to the decision I needed to get my ass into gear and really talk to someone about how I was feeling. I also needed to pay attention to the now.
In the elevator, I asked lightly, “Do you always get women offering themselves up to you?”
“Mostly. Some men as well.”
I choked when I sucked in a sharp breath. “Really?”
He smiled, and a small “Da” slipped from between his lips.
Lips I had to stop staring at. I lifted my gaze and quickly turned to face the front because I’d been caught. I was grateful the doors opened. Stepping off, I glanced around. Half the room was made up of windows. I went straight over to them.
“Wow,” I stated. The view was of the floor we’d just been on. Men, women, workers, tables, poker machines, bars, drinks, food… I could see everything.
“Do you like?” Adrik asked from beside me.
I laughed. “If I owned this, I wouldn’t want to leave. But then again, I’m a people watcher. I could sit in a coffee shop and just watch people. And, oh my goodness, that sounds like I’m a creep.” I grabbed his upper arm. “I promise I’m not some stalker or killer.”
Adrik chuckled. “I know.”
I smiled. “So,” I drew out. “You own this place.”
His gaze went back out the window. I took mine there also and rested my hands on the windowsill. “Da. This and two others. I bought them when I moved here.”
“Wow again. That’s pretty impressive, but it must keep you very busy?”
“I like busy.”
But did he? I saw the dip to his brows when he said it. My stomach twisted for him because I honestly didn’t think he was happy. Why would a man in his prime want to hire an escort for company when he could obviously get anyone he wanted? It was hard to guess the reasons, but it did have me wondering what went on the receipt when a client hired an escort.
Was Adrik hiding his sexuality?
Did he have parents like my own who didn’t accept it?
I hoped one day my parents would, but they were highly against homosexuality since God apparently never created us that way.
I wanted to ask about Adrik’s but knew I couldn’t. “Maybe one day you’ll get to settle down a little.” I bumped my hip into his. “For now, I’m starving, and things could get ugly if I’m not fed soon.”
His lips twitched. “It’ll be delivered soon.”
I looked around me. “Do you have telepathy? I didn’t see you tell or ring anyone?”
“They would have seen me arrive. I ordered for you.” He winced. He actually winced. Worried I wouldn’t want him to take control, maybe?
I would not think about him taking control in the bedroom.
I wouldn’t.
Shit, it was in there now, and I had to abort the thought quickly because Adrik was staring at me like I’d lost it. Which was a possibility.
I cleared my throat. “No, that’s fine… I’ll eat anything, really. As long as it’s not anything with pineapple.” I screwed up my nose. “I hate that stuff.”
“On pizza?”
“Yes! People who have it on pizza are monsters.”
With a laugh, he waved me over to a table I hadn’t seen. “I eat on pizza.”
I went to sit down and nearly missed the seat, which caused Adrik to chuckle some more. “You don’t.”
“Not really. I do not eat pizza.”
My jaw dropped. “You don’t eat pizza?”
He shook his head, smiling.
I blinked. Adrik had heard me rave about it, only for me to discover he didn’t consume the best thing on earth besides chocolate muffins…. I was at a loss for words.
“We’re changing that,” I stated.
He quirked a brow. “We are?”
“Hell yes, we are. Next time we’re going to get pizza for dinner, and I’m going to watch you eat it. Okay, that sounds creepy, but you know what I mean.”
He chuckled. “Da.”
There was a buzz, and Adrik stood and walked over to a massive desk to press something. “That desk is huge.”
He faced me and stared. I said desk, right?
“You do not like?” he asked.
We were still talking about his desk, right?
“I’m suddenly confused,” I admitted.
He stared some more. Until he must have registered what I’d been thinking and grinned, shaking his head at me. “I like big things.”
I snorted.
He glowered, but the venom of it wasn’t there. “Big work areas.”
“Whatever floats your boat,” I teased.
He stalked toward me, rested one hand on the table in front of me and the other on the back of my seat. He leaned in close. I ate my heart since it had jumped into my mouth, excited by his close attention.
“What does this mean? Floats your boat?” His voice, his damn voice, was low and husky, and I wanted to drink it.
Weird thought, but my mind had been lost since he neared me. It was then I realized before tonight, I had been the only one to get close, to reach out. First, it had been with the touch to my back, and now this. He was blooming in front of me. Showing me the real him.
Yet, a part of my brain still asked me if he was actually gay. My other clients had been flirty. Adrik hadn’t… until now, but was this flirting?
“Have I broken you?”
“Yes, no… what was the question?”
Heavens, he was looking at my lips.
A ding sounded, and the spell was broken. Adrik straightened as the doors opened, and he started toward the waitress who stepped out.
“I could fall for you,” I whispered to myself. I could. Easily. And that scared me, as there was a high risk of being hurt.
My jaw hurt from clenching it. It was fucking strange that I suddenly wanted to cry. What was wrong with me?
I heard Adrik say something to the waitress. I glanced over to see her nod and move back into the elevator, leaving the cart behind. Once the doors were closed, Adrik pushed the food our way.
He was handsome.
He was scary.
He was gruff.
Sweet.
Reserved.
Funny.
But never would he be mine.
When would I get that through my thick head?
He was a client.
I worked for an escort service and was paid to spend time with this addictive man.
My chest cracked. I had to stop. I had to. For my sake, for my feelings, my heart, my sanity, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to stay away.
I had two weeks to get my head around what I was feeling. After tonight, I wouldn’t see him for two weeks. In that time, I would talk to Kylo for some advice, and then I would either cancel Adrik as a client or continue this torture on myself.
Why did I have to get feelings for him?
A gentle pinch to my chin had me raising my gaze to Adrik’s concerned one. “Where are you?”
I forced a smile. “Here in your office.”
He studied me, and under his assessing gaze, it felt like I had everything open for him to see. My mind, my body, and my soul. He shook his head as his thumb slowly caressed my skin under my chin.
Oh boy, I wanted to melt into him. I wanted to wrap my arms around his waist and tell him my name and everything about me. How I didn’t want to work and get paid for his company. I wanted him to give it to me, and I’d have it freely.
“Your mind is miles away.”
I scraped my top teeth over my bottom lip and once more threw my thoughts and worries aside to live in the moment. To enjoy Adrik Hail. I grinned. “Sorry, I have a test coming up at college, and the worry got the best of me for a moment.” The lie felt wrong, but it had to be done.
Adrik’s brows dipped. Eventually, he nodded. “I would help, but I do not know how.”
Breathe. I did so as my heart clenched tightly.
“You are, by taking my mind off the worry.”
He tapped my chin and went to the trays. “Let us eat. You seem to enjoy food.”
Chuckling, I replied, “I sure do.”
The time went too fast. All too soon, I was back in the underground parking lot with guards surrounding us. I was getting a lift back with Death, since the date had ended. I felt sick, but I still looked around to Adrik as he waited beside the limo and smiled. His lips twitched.
I got into the car with a lame wave, and Death backed out of the space. Adrik surprised me by staring back at me. I didn’t look away until we were out of sight from him.
Leaning back in the seat, I sighed. Then realized and voiced, “The car’s at the condo.”
“Already organized someone to pick it up.”
I nodded, taking my gaze out the side window. Lost in thought. Lost in what I would do. My heart called for me to stay, keep at it, then at least I would get to see him. My mind was a different story. It shouted at me to stop my stupidity and get my ass into gear by ending this. So, maybe it was time to listen to my mind to save my heart. It was probably a good idea to cancel our appointments before my feelings grew into something more. All I had at the moment was a mild crush—yes, I would keep telling myself that—and attraction.
“West!” Death called a little harshly, making me think he’d been trying to get my attention for a while.
“Sorry, lost in the clouds. What did you say?”
“I asked if you were all right?”
I huffed a laugh. “I’m fine.”
Death made a noise in the back of his throat. He didn’t buy my bullshit, but I couldn’t tell him I was catching feelings for a client.
“How was your night?” Death asked.
He never asked.
I shrugged. “Good. It was the first time I’ve been in a casino. Never had time before.”
“The client seemed to take a liking to you.”
I forced a laugh. “Don’t they all.” Every client I’d had so far wanted more time with me. Which was good for the pocket.
“Mr. Hail…. Never mind.”
“What?” I asked.
Death shrugged. “Was just gonna comment that Mr. Hail brings you out of your shell more than the others.”
I tensed. “What do you mean by that?”
“Just that with the other clients, you act polite and sweet and shit, but you’re more yourself around that guy we just left.”
Huh, I’d never noticed before. Could it be true? I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”
“I’d never seen you with him before, but I have the others since they take you out. Just looked different to me, but I could be wrong.”
He was. He had to be. I wouldn’t let my walls down that much around a client.
Fuck me, who was I kidding? Only myself, apparently. With the other clients, I stuck with a story of Ben. I didn’t tell them about myself, my real life. Death was right, damn it. I just didn’t want to admit it to myself.
Again, it told me I was in too deep with Adrik. I’d gotten feelings attached to the job. What hurt the most was that if I did choose to not see Adrik again, he wouldn’t know why. He wouldn’t know it was because of me and that my decision had nothing to do with him. Could I tell him? No, I didn’t think it would be wise. He’d only see I was weak. Adrik was the type of man who needed someone strong to stand by his side, and me? I was running. Running because I couldn’t do one job right and not get attached to a client.
If I did run.
I really needed to talk to Kylo. Maybe he was in the same position I was in with a client. I hoped so. I wouldn’t feel like such a dickhead.
A thought flew into my mind.
“Death?”
“Yeah?”
“When a client books in someone and pays, what does the company show on the record?”
“A computer technician company.”
Huh. It looked like Adrik’s transactions were hidden if anyone looked into him. Which would be good for a person who didn’t want people to know he was gay… or into guys as well as girls. I wasn’t sure which category Adrik fell into; we never went into it. Of course, my new train of thought took me to a place where I could justify my choice of ending things. If I did. It could also mean Adrik didn’t want a real relationship with a man. Eventually, he would settle with a woman to keep the image of a straight, obviously loaded businessman. Hell, he could own more than just the casinos, and if he wanted to expand, it was no secret gay people were still treated as pariahs, which no doubt would be more challenging when it came to business. Shit, even my parents frowned upon homosexuality because of their interpretation of religion.
It didn’t matter that He, my god, loved me for who I was, not who I took to bed. Not that I could ever tell them that.
Sighing, I pinched the bridge of my nose and leaned back into the seat. A headache pounded at me. I was thinking too much, but my mind was just a ball of confusion.
Right, I would make a plan.
I’d keep myself busy with schooling, work, and friends. I’d catch up with Kylo without Lucas. Since Lucas was in his bubble of happiness, I didn’t want to rain on it by talking about the mess I’d made of things. I also had to look for another place to stay since my lease was up soon and I hated the new neighbors who’d moved in.
“West?”
I groaned and flopped my head Death’s way. “Did I miss something again?”
He grinned. “We’re here.”
I straightened and looked out the window. Shit, that was fast. “Sorry, got a headache coming on.”
“Want me to walk you in?”
Grinning, I reached out and patted his arm. “Aren’t you sweet, but I’ll be fine.”
His lips thinned. “Take care, yeah?”
I opened the door and climbed out. “Will do, you too.”
He snorted. I waved and shut the door. It was time for some relaxation. A shower and then sleep sounded like heaven, and maybe if I kept singing a song in my mind, I wouldn’t think about Adrik before I fell asleep.
Look at that, I just made a fucking funny.