The Trouble with Squids #4

“An underground water tank! That’s what it has to be,” Cody told Carlos that night in their freezing cold dorm room. “We’ve got to get down there.”

Snow lashed against the windows. Drifts had blown under the stable doors. A glass of water Mugsy had left by his stall the night before was frozen solid.

Carlos was busy wiring his communicator gizmo from the smashed-up guts of Fronk’s cell phone. He’d swiped a soldering gun from Professor Eelpot’s lab and a roll of lead solder, which he was melting onto the circuit boards. Cody watched him work.

“How’re you coming on your walkietalkie-cell-phone thingy, Carlos?” Victor asked. “Is it ready to call for help?”

“Close,” Carlos said. “Tomorrow I’ll borrow some batteries from the science room, and then we’ll see.”

“BOYS TALKING AFTER HOURS WILL BE FED TO PAVLOV,” came Miss Threadbare’s screechy voice over the intercom. “GO TO SLEEP IF YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU.”

Cody crawled under his pile of straw. “Nothing here is good for you,” he muttered.

When they arrived in science class the next day, the room stunk like a garbage barge on a hot summer day. Professor Eelpot began class with an announcement. “You didn’t put your dissecting specimens away properly yesterday,” she said in her soft voice. “They needed refrigeration. Instead, they rotted, and I had to give them to Griselda to use in tonight’s stroganoff.”

Nobody did. Except Sully, of course. Sully knew everything. But Sully didn’t speak around adults. Cody and the other boys stared at the hideous, massive-jawed fish that lurked in a lower corner of its dark tank.

“No one knows what angling is?” Professor Eelpot sounded like a purring cat waiting to pounce on a trapped mouse.

Cody saw Sully making secret little gestures. He flicked his right wrist forward, then with his left hand spun an imaginary wheel. It was as if he was playing charades with Cody.

“That’s right,” Professor Eelpot said. “Angling means fishing. The anglerfish uses a little fishing lure, attached to her forehead, to attract fish and eat them. Some species, like this one, have a lure that glows in the dark.”

“You mean this fish fishes for other fish?” Ratface said. “That’s sick.”

“Not at all,” Professor Eelpot said, staring at Ratface with one of her dark-rimmed eyes. “In the ocean, it’s eat or be eaten. Survival is all that matters. Most anglerfish live at very great ocean depths, deep down, where the sunlight can’t reach. It’s cold down there, and there’s not much oxygen in the water. The deeper the water, the stranger the creatures. Watch.”

She unsealed a small plastic bag containing a little goldfish and dumped it into the tank. The goldfish ignored the anglerfish, but when the angler lit up its lure like a spaghetti noodle protruding from its forehead, the curious goldfish wiggled its way over to investigate.

“The moral of this story, class,” Professor Eelpot said, “is, in your life, which would you rather be? The anglerfish or the goldfish? Think about it.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Ratface said. “We don’t have a choice. We’re stuck here at Splurch Academy. We’re total goldfish.”

The bell rang, and they rose to leave. Cody felt like he couldn’t get out of that room fast enough. They hurried down the hall toward the cafeteria. On the way they found Miss Threadbare chewing Nurse Bilgewater out about something. Normally Bilgewater would never have put up with that, but she barely seemed to be listening today.

Cody’s heart pounded. He wanted to get away before Bilgewater and Threadbare realized the keys were missing—which would draw attention to them. They walked slowly around the corner and out of sight.

“Where do we go now? Lunch?” Mugsy asked. “Sea slug stroganoff! Yum!”

“C’mon, Mugsy,” Cody said. “We’re going to go see what’s behind that door Bilgewater went into earlier. Remember?”

“Who cares about that?” Carlos demanded. “Let’s test this phone! I’ve got the batteries rigged in. Let’s call home and request a fast taxi ride out of this place!”

“A stealth bomber,” Ratface said. “Come swooping in here before Farley can even hear its engines. Then, when we’re gone, blow the place to bits!”

They reached the empty classroom and slipped inside. Carlos whipped out his phone and began dialing numbers. “I almost don’t remember my home phone number,” he said. He was so nervous and excited his fingers shook. “It’s beeping. The batteries are working. That’s a good sign. There! Dial.” He finished and held the phone up to his ear expectantly.

“Hang up and let me try.” Cody took the phone and punched in his own number, checking to make sure he’d dialed correctly.

“Pinky’s Recycled Lubricants, can I help you?” a woman’s voice replied.

“This is Pinky’s Recycled Lubricants in Milwaukee, Wisconsin,” the secretary said. “Nobody greases your skids the second time around quite like Pinky’s. With whom do you wish to speak?”

“Never mind.” Cody hung up. He handed the phone back to Carlos, who shook his head.

“Either that or our families have all left the country,” Cody said, patting him on the back. “Never mind. You’ll fix it. C’mon, let’s see what’s behind this door.”

Ratface stuck the key in the lock and cranked it. The door swung open to a dark room. Echoes bounced off the walls, and a warm, fishy smell rose from near the floor.

“You guys stay here and stand guard,” Cody said. “I’ll check it out.”

“Don’t go in there, Cody,” Ratface whimpered. “What if whatever’s in there can suck your eyeballs out through its nostrils?”

Cody took one step forward, then another. His eyes took a while to adjust to the near-darkness.

Cody climbed out of the pool. The other boys slipped and fell, too, landing in a damp and dirty heap near the edge of the pool. They got up, rubbed their bruises, and looked around.

The pool chamber was dimly lit by small fluorescent lamps at the exits. The air stunk worse than before as the dark water sloshed gently against the edges of the pool.

“There’s something in the water, Cody,” Sully said. “See? Little somethings moving.”

Sully leaned out over the water and pointed. “What do you think Bilgewater’s been dumping in here, cookie crumbs? Of course there’s something living in here. Look.”

They knelt to examine the dark surface of the water. Suddenly Mugsy became excited. He plowed in between them and pushed the other boys aside.