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Acceptance
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January 1901
“Gwenna. Oh, Gwenna. What am I going to do? I fear I’ve ruined everything.”
“Hello, Alice, dear. What brings you here today?” Gwenna came out from behind the counter hoping to prevent the breathless girl from saying anything more in front of customers. With a glance at Tillie, she said, “Come through and tell me what’s bothering you.” Taking Alice by the arm, Gwenna led her into the house.
Alice burst into tears seconds after the door closed behind them. Guiding her into the sitting room, Gwenna sat beside her on the sofa and patted her hand while the girl mopped up her tears with a handkerchief.
Alice related the conversation between her and Elias over a pot of tea and plate of biscuits. “I’d so hoped I could arrange a reconciliation with everyone. You are such a dear, dear friend, I couldn’t bear for you to be estranged from the man I love more than anything in the world.”
Gwenna was taken aback to think Alice considered her in such a light, and would speak so openly about her most intimate feelings.
“You would always be welcome here, Alice, even if Elias chose not to call,” Gwenna said. “I bear no ill will towards him. I have my life to lead and he has his. We don’t need to share our lives to be happy.”
“But, I ... oh, dear. I’ve got it all so wrong. I wanted you to be my matron of honour. Oh, please, don’t look so shocked,” said Alice, seeing the surprise in Gwenna’s face. “It’s true. I don’t have any other friends I could ask. It’s always just been Dad and me since my mother died. Until Eli came along. And I want to share my happiness with those who love him too.”
Gwenna wasn’t so certain any of his sisters would admit to loving Elias, but they didn’t wish him harm either. Life was just so much less complicated without his anger and bullying, and they all avoided putting themselves in his way. Alice was right on one count, though: his mother would welcome him and feel her world complete if Elias was a regular part of her life again.
“Is it what Elias wants?” asked Gwenna.
Alice lowered her head and shook it slowly. “No. And now he’s so mad at me – I don’t mean angry mad – more bothered mad. Vexed, I suppose. I want one thing; he wants another. He wants to please me, but I’ve pushed him too far. He’s left me,” she wailed, suddenly lurching into Gwenna’s shoulder.
Gwenna put her arms around her and patted her shoulder. “There, there, Alice. I don’t believe that for one minute. Now tell me what happened?”
Between hiccups and deep breaths, Gwenna gleaned how Elias had walked out while they were still arguing. In Alice’s eyes, the glower he’d given her and the way he slapped his hat on his head and stormed out the door, slamming it loudly behind him, meant he’d gone for good. In Gwenna’s eyes, it meant the opposite.
“He’ll be back, Alice. He used to do that as a young boy when things got too hard for him. He still did it as a man, after rowing with me or Mam. It’s his way of calming down.” Gwenna didn’t want to alert Alice to the extent of Elias’s violence in the past – as far as she was aware, Alice had never been told what Elias had done – but she did want to assure her all was not lost.
Alice immediately lightened. She dabbed at her eyes once more. “Do you think so?” Hope turned her dark eyes into gold. “Truly?”
Gwenna reassured her, “I do. Trust me, he’ll be back.” Silently, she prayed she was right.
Bethan popped her head around the door. “Gwenna, could you come into the shop? There’s someone you need to see.”
“Is it necessary?” asked Gwenna, not wanting to leave Alice just yet. “Can you or Tillie deal with whoever it is?”
“No, dear, we can’t.”
Gwenna stood and smoothed her hands over the skirts of her navy and teal trimmed dress. Since the start of the new year, she no longer wore mourning. Johnno had been gone for eight months, and since she was the only one who mourned him, she believed the time had come to live her own life. Out of respect for the Queen, she would wear a black armband in the shop and don a black cape when she ventured out, but nothing else black.
Leaving Alice to Bethan, but with her mind still on her distress, Gwenna entered the shop. She didn’t need to ask Tillie who wanted to see her. She blinked twice to make sure she wasn’t imagining anything, but larger than life and equally as nervous, Elias stood facing her. Seconds passed.
“What are you doing here ...?” began Gwenna at the same time as Elias said, “I can’t find her ...”
They both stopped, each waiting for the other to speak again. Frantic with worry, Elias couldn’t keep still, twiddling with his hat or running his hands through his hair and stepping one forward, one back.
Gwenna put two and two together, but aware people were listening, she indicated he should follow her. She led him outside and around to the side gate. “If you are searching for Alice, she’s here.”
Relief flooded his face and his shoulders relaxed. “Can I ... may I see her?”
“Maybe,” Gwenna hesitated and saw his jaw clench. She couldn’t resist making him suffer for a little longer. He had to learn to stop making women weep. “But after what I’ve heard, will she want to see you?”
The sight of his crestfallen face made her feel rather mean, but she justified her action for Alice’s sake, if it meant he came to his senses once and for all.
“No. I suppose not. But will you ask her? Please, Gwenna. Ask her for me.”
Pushing her luck a little further, she feigned surprise. “Are you asking me to do you a favour?”
She didn’t need to explain. He turned every colour from milk to puce and back again, but Gwenna saw the huge effort he made to control his anger and not walk away. She could see he truly did love the tiny, dark-haired girl in the sitting room and would swallow his pride if it made Alice happy.
“I’m a different man now, Gwenna. If you knew how different, you’d understand why I ask.”
She stared at him while she sorted out the war going on in her brain. If she only gave thought to herself, inviting Elias back into her life was a risk and not something she wanted to consider. They were both better people without the other – but when she thought about Alice, who clearly adored him, and Mam, who would never stop loving her firstborn, then the picture blurred.
She had the others to consider as well. Janie believed Elias had changed. Tillie had warmed to the idea. They all wanted to include him in their lives. The surprising viewpoint, and the one to hold the most sway, was Hugh’s.
Hugh rarely expressed an opinion, being content to work alongside her and do her bidding. No amount of cajoling had enticed him to speak about his experiences in South Africa, and he would still jump at unexpected noises, so when he did say something, Gwenna listened.
She recalled the day when Hugh, choosing his words with care, had explained how she was honour-bound to their fathers – hers and Elias’s – to make the business a success. That part Gwenna grasped. What she had failed to see, and what Hugh emphasised, was how Elias had handed Gwenna her destiny when he gave her the business. She couldn’t let him down either.
Even if that decision had been for Elias’s benefit to start with, he could have insisted on keeping the business or selling it, instead of letting her have it. Gwenna had married Johnno, was about to become a mother, and even as a widow could never have expected to share in what was his by law. Elias took his chance by leaving and had given Gwenna hers in return.
All these thoughts flashed through her mind in a matter of seconds while his eyes remained fixed on hers. She sighed. She had no choice. She owed it to the others.
But she wasn’t going to let him off the hook easily. “And how am I supposed to get to know this different man you profess to be if you won’t have anything to do with anyone you should call family?” she goaded.
Every muscle in his body tensed. She heard the sharp intake of air and held her breath waiting for the explosion. Instead, he dropped his shoulders, hung his head and let the fight drain out of him. Watching him twirl his hat between his fingers, it took all her effort not to smile. Her point had hit home, but the situation was too serious to laugh at.
“Truce?” offered Gwenna, extending her hand.
Elias raised his head and stared at her, assessing her motives. “Truce,” he mumbled at length, hesitating before grasping Gwenna’s hand for the briefest of moments.
“Let’s be honest, Elias,” said Gwenna, “we bring out the worst in each other and will never see eye to eye, but for the sake of Alice, Mam and all the others, shall we agree to at least be civil?”
Elias continued to stare at her. She couldn’t quite read what was going on in his mind behind those shuttered eyes but trusted he would reach the same conclusions she had, and for the same reasons.
“If it means Alice is happy and Mam will see me, then yes,” he concurred. “But let’s agree to avoid each other as much as possible, too. I can’t guarantee you won’t push me too far one day.”
“Agreed,” she said, in accord with his analysis. “Come with me.”
Picking up her skirts, Gwenna led him up the back steps, through the kitchen and into the sitting room where Bethan and Alice sat talking. The joy, relief and adoration on Alice’s face when she saw Elias was reward enough for Gwenna. So, too, was Bethan’s expression, which mirrored young Alice’s, even as tension and doubt edged its way in.
* * *
Whatever Elias and Alice said to each other in her sitting room, Gwenna would never know but, to her surprise, Elias asked her to be Alice’s attendant. He surprised them even more when he asked Tillie if she would kindly allow them to gather at her home after the ceremony, or at least in the garden.
“Of course, Elias. I’m sure we can accommodate everyone,” said Tillie, mentally ticking off what would be needed after checking how many people would be there.
“Alice would like to invite you all – Mam, Louisa, Janie and Mr Lewis, Tillie and Mr Griffiths, Charlie and you, Gwenna. Woody will be there naturally, but we want to keep it small.”
Alice had pulled Gwenna aside while the others were talking. She wanted to explain that getting together in Gwenna’s shop was one step too far for Elias. He didn’t want to be surrounded by jars of sweets and reminders of the past, but he had allowed Alice her choice of guests.
“It’s perfectly all right, Alice,” said Gwenna. “I understand why he feels like he does. And since you’re having a midday ceremony, it makes sense to spend the rest of the day in the garden. Tillie and Mam will make you proud. And I’m honoured to stand at your side.”
Within forty-eight hours every detail had been attended to, invitations sent and acknowledged. Gwenna took the brave step of placing a notice in the newspaper on Tuesday to say she would be closed all day Wednesday for a family occasion – hoping it wouldn’t affect trade too much. Hugh had offered to keep the shop open, but Gwenna felt it was asking too much of him. Gwenna often did a fair trade on Wednesdays, thanks to half-day closing for most offices and businesses, but while Hugh was a great sweet maker, he would struggle being around so many people, let alone making the teas, coffees and hot chocolates. The lack of staff was something she might have to consider sometime.
After securing the minister and placing notices in the newspaper, Woody and Elias kept to themselves in the workshop until they were needed. Elias started on Mr Court’s sideboard and Woody on replacement stock for the shop. The smaller sideboard Elias had made sat finished in the shop with a ‘Sold’ sign on it.
* * *
“I will,” said Elias in answer to the minister and, to the sound of church bells, the couple found the happiness they sought. Alice looked radiant as Elias lifted her veil, attached to a circlet of orange blossom and roses, and with all eyes on them they walked together down the aisle as man and wife.
Outside, the family were ready with the rice and rose petals to scatter over the pair. Dressed in a simple ivory silk gown and long kid gloves, Alice turned around on the church step and threw the herb and floral nosegay Bethan had made.
Gwenna hadn’t meant to catch it. She coloured as laughter and teasing rang in her ears. “I’ve no intention of marrying anyone, never mind what the old wives’ tale says,” she said emphatically.
Before they began the procession from the church back to the house, Bethan and Tillie handed out the traditional boxes of wedding cake they’d made with favours inside. Janie gushed with delight and hugged her mother. “What a wonderful day it is, to have us all here. I’m so happy I could cry.”
Louisa looked like she could cry, too, but not with happiness. Gwenna had no idea how Janie had managed to persuade Louisa to attend. There was no sign of Albert Evans, which Louisa explained away by saying he had stayed with the children. Janie had left her two at home with her mother-in-law, and Hugh, bless him, agreed to keep an eye on ten-month-old Olwen and eight-month-old Georgie as they amused themselves in their playpen during the ceremony.
Alice and Elias led the party up Nelson Street, Thomas Woodman extended his arm to Bethan, and they fell into place behind the couple. Charlie, feeling very important as Elias’s best man, held his arm out to escort his sister in the correct manner, even though he wasn’t quite tall enough. Amid giggles and a tangle of arms, he and Gwenna were forced to swap, so he linked his arm through hers and they could walk side by side in comfort. Janie and Percy Lewis dropped in behind them, leaving Louisa to walk with Tillie and Tom. As usual, Tom, putting others before himself, graciously stood aside and encouraged Tillie and Louisa to walk together while he followed.
By the time they reached the garden, where Hugh had earlier placed an assortment of tables and chairs under the trees, any formality had disappeared and chatter had taken over. Tillie and Gwenna rushed inside to check on their children and put them down for an afternoon nap, Bethan and Janie, aided by Hugh, carried the food out to the tables, while Tom, Percy and Woody poured the drinks set out on another table: ales for the men, home-made lemonade and punch in pottery urns, as well as sherries and port, for the women. The men would partake of their whisky or brandy indoors later, over a pipe and cigar. Charlie, hovering around the men hoping to be given a taste of beer, listened in on their conversation. Alice and Elias only had eyes for each other.
Emerging from the back of the house, Gwenna saw Louisa sitting on her own away from everyone else. She looked as fragile as a glass ornament glittering in the sun, perched on the edge of a precipice. Her hat was placed at such an angle that with the merest tilt of her head she could hide behind its brim.
Gwenna was prevented from going to her at that moment by Bethan who called them all to take their seats. “Come along, everyone. The food is ready. Take your seats for the speeches.”
Janie and Percy pulled up a chair each at Louisa’s table. Alice and Eli were given a table of their own, Tillie and Tom sat with Thomas Woodman at the next table, leaving Charlie, Bethan and Gwenna to sit together.
Hugh’s placement of the tables, whether by luck or forethought, meant everyone sat in an unformed semicircle facing the bride and groom, and no one had their backs to anyone.
Charlie reached his hand out to grab a piece of pie, but Bethan tapped it away, whispering, “Wait till we say grace, and Mr Woodman has to speak first.”
Thomas rose to his feet. “Alice, my dear, you look beautiful. You have always given me every reason to be proud of you, and I have no doubt you will continue to do so. I thank Eli’s family, Mrs Price in particular, and Mrs Gwenna Price and Charlie for standing up today with the bride and groom. Thanks also to the ladies who prepared all this lovely food. I won’t say much more, only that I am happy to welcome Eli into my household and as a wedding gift to the happy couple, I am offering Eli a partnership in the business.”
Applause met his words, while Elias’s mouth dropped open. He struggled to believe he’d heard correctly. He rose to his feet. “Woody ... Mr Woodman. I don’t know what to say. I’m honoured you allowed me to marry you daughter, who I agree is the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, but to favour me with a partnership is beyond my wildest dreams. I can’t thank you enough.”
He sat down abruptly, but Alice plucked at his sleeve, whispered something in his ear and Elias stood up again. “Sorry. I’m so overwhelmed, I forgot. Alice,” he grinned, “um, that is ... Mrs Hughes and I ...” he hesitated, turning to his bride who nodded encouragingly at him. “... that is, we are grateful to you for sharing this day with us ...” Elias fidgeted with his jacket and tried to loosen his necktie. “I never believed it would happen. I got so many things wrong ...” Elias tapered off, unable to continue, and sat down again.
In the momentary silence, Tom stood up. “Mr Hughes – Eli, if I may. We are not well acquainted. I know little of you beyond what my wife and Mrs Price senior have told me. But a man who admits to the errors of his ways and takes steps to correct those mistakes is worthy of a second chance. You have proven yourself worthy of late, and I speak on behalf of the ladies here today when I say they welcome their son and brother home.”
More gentle applause while Tom paused.
He put his fist to his mouth and cleared his throat. “But a word of warning, Mr Hughes. I expect greater things of you in the future. Should you ever falter, I will be watching.”
The two men stared at one another, each acknowledging the other’s meaning. Elias nodded and Tom retook his seat.
To break the awkwardness, Woody jumped up. “A toast to the bride and groom. May they have a happy life.”
Once the toast was over, Bethan led a quick prayer to bless the food. “Help yourself, everyone. There’s plenty.”
Once everyone had had their fill of all the delicious food and the plates had been cleared, it wasn’t long before the group split again. The men resumed their conversation under the trees, while the ladies put away the remainder of the food. Bethan’s attention was claimed by the younger children. Tillie, Janie and Alice had their heads bent together talking over something, which left Louisa and Gwenna alone. She’d had no opportunity to ask Tillie what she and Louisa had discussed on the short walk back from the church, but Gwenna couldn’t leave the woman standing there forlorn.
“Louisa, you look lovely today. Who made your outfit?” asked Gwenna hoping to get her stepsister talking.
“My usual dressmaker, although it’s not new. I couldn’t ...” Louisa stopped, unable or unwilling to finish her sentence.
“New isn’t necessary. It’s the fact we are all here that matters. It’s been a long time.”
Louisa didn’t respond, nor did she face Gwenna. The garden took her eye instead.
“Louisa, dear, I don’t wish to rake over old coals, there is no reward in discussing what can’t be changed,” said Gwenna softly, “but I would so like us to speak freely to each other again. Please, Louisa, you appear unhappy. Will you tell me what’s wrong?”
Louisa turned her head sharply towards Gwenna, her eyes glistening and her face flaming. “What’s Janetta been telling you?”
Taking a step back from her stepsister’s sudden hostility, Gwenna replied, “Nothing. I don’t know anything other than Janie said she was concerned. I have no idea why she should be, except for her comment you were a little short-tempered lately. Which I’ve just seen for myself.”
Louisa’s head tilted and her face disappeared behind the brim of her hat. Her shoulders began to shake.
“Shall I fetch Mam?” asked Gwenna. “Would you talk with her?”
Without lifting her head, Louisa gripped Gwenna’s arm. Gwenna waited.
After a few moments, Louisa’s hand disappeared into her reticule and she pulled out a fine lace handkerchief and dabbed her eyes. She lifted her head, her eyes sad and red-rimmed. “I’m sorry, Gwenna.”
“Whatever for? There’s no need to apologise. You’re upset. Let me help you.”
Louisa shook her head and took a deep breath. “You don’t understand. I’ve not been a very nice person at all. I’ve spoken badly of you too many times.”
Gwenna stopped Louisa from saying anything further. “All that is in the past, and I don’t want to hear any more about it. We’re in a new year, a new century, and we have two people who are about to embark on a new life. We should take heed. New possibilities and opportunities await.” Gwenna smiled warmly, with a sparkle in her eye.
“Why are you being so kind to me?”
“I’m not being kind, Louisa. I’m being realistic. Truly I am. It’s better for us all if we get along.” Gwenna turned her head to find Alice and Elias and saw how happy they were together. Alice brought out the best in him and, to Gwenna’s mind, their future was secure. Now all she had to do was sort out her own. “Look at those two, Louisa. Are they not a picture? Alice has taught me much since I’ve known her. She’s practical, her eyes are wide open and she’s loyal. And I’ve learnt the importance of family from someone who doesn’t have one.”
Taking Louisa by the arm, Gwenna led her to one of the tables. On her way to fetch a glass of sherry for them, Gwenna caught Tillie’s eye; she saw what Gwenna was doing and eased the others further away.
Gwenna explained to Louisa how Janetta had beseeched her to forgive Elias, how Alice had persuaded Elias to bring them all together today, and how she and Elias had reached an agreement. “Alice wanted the family together for reasons of her own, and she made it happen. It mattered to her enough to throw caution to the wind and fight for it. Can’t we do the same?”
Louisa remained silent.
Gwenna carried on talking about the difference Charlie made to their lives now he was healthy and happy, and how Bethan had blossomed since she had grandchildren to care for and a purpose in life. “I can’t tell you what a difference she’s made. I couldn’t have done what I have without Tillie, and Tillie couldn’t have done it without Mam, and behind us both is Tom.” And Hugh, but Gwenna didn’t add his name to the mix. “We’re a team – like Eli, Alice and Mr Woodman are a team. What makes it work is we are happy, as individuals and with each other. We like what we do and who we are.”
Gwenna detected a shift in Louisa. Not enough for her to say anything, but some of the tension went out of her. She was listening but, more importantly, Gwenna could see she was hearing the message. “Oh, Louisa, I don’t want to dwell on the past. There were too many reasons to be unhappy back then. I want to look forward. To build the business up to be strong enough so Charlie can be part of it, and so young Georgie will be the second George Price to run the business. Do you remember my pa’s dreams, Louisa? Do you?”
A faint nod was all Gwenna needed.
“Well, I’m following mine; Elias is following his; Tillie already has hers with Tom and Olwen, her sewing and her fudge. Her dreams may not be as grand, but they are hers and she’s happy. Janetta, too, has changed. I don’t know why yet, but I’ll find out. But what are your dreams, Louisa? Will you tell me? What happened to them?”
After several moments when neither of them spoke, Louisa lifted her head. “I lost them,” she whispered, staring beyond Gwenna into a distance only she could see.
Unable to say anything more, Louisa surveyed the garden. She watched Charlie playing catch with Mr Woodman. Percy and Elias were talking about something of great interest, going by the animated conversation. Bethan could have been mistaken for being years younger, with the little ones playing at her feet while she talked with Janie. Tillie and Alice must have gone inside because she couldn’t see them, and Tom was walking towards them with fresh glasses in his hand.
“Come on, you two, enough of this sisterly chatter; it’s time you joined the others.” Turning to Louisa, he said, “Mrs Evans, I can’t tell you how delighted I am to have you here at my home for such a joyous occasion. I hope you will continue to visit us. And I look forward to getting to know Mr Evans.”
At the mention of Albert Evans, Louisa’s face clouded. She swallowed her sherry in a most unladylike manner, turned to Gwenna and said, “I want to come home.” She burst into tears and fled into the safety of the house.
“Did I say something wrong?” asked Tom, watching the woman, one hand on her hat and the other holding her skirt, running up the back steps and disappearing into the shadows.
“Actually, Tom, you’ve more than likely brought everything to a head. Excuse me, I must go to her.”
Gwenna didn’t get to Louisa. As she walked across the lawn, Janie stopped her. “I’ve got something to tell you,” she said. “When we can find a quiet moment.”
That moment passed, too, as Tillie emerged from the house followed by Alice. Clapping her hands to attract everyone’s attention, Tillie said, “Can we all gather on the steps, please? It’s time to take the photographs.”
This turn of events was a surprise to everyone except Tillie. Alice looked as if she’d won the prize of her life. She hurried down the steps towards Elias, almost bouncing with excitement.
The buzz of conversation rose as one turned to another, eager to know more and ask who’d had their photograph taken. It wasn’t a new invention, but the idea was still too novel to take for granted. None of them had been photographed before.
Gwenna soon saw who was responsible. Tom stepped forward and retrieved a canvas bag placed under the table where all the drinks had been set out. Those nearby peered over his shoulders as he removed a black leatherette box from its cover. He explained the circle at the front the size of a ha’penny was the lens, and it had a shutter lever, a winding handle on the side for turning the film and a two small viewing lenses – one on the top for vertical images and one on the side for horizontal – with two small latches keeping the back cover shut.
“It’s called a Brownie, and the first ones were released by a company called Kodak in America last year. You have a roll of film, which you thread through like this ... and there it is, ready to use,” said Tom, clicking the latches into place. “No need for any more trips to those stuffy studios with large cameras on tripods, false backgrounds and large lights. And no more fixed stares waiting for the shutter. We can take our own family snaps,” he explained, feeling pleased with himself. “Now, can we have everyone on the steps, please.”
After issuing instructions as to who should stand and sit where, with Alice and Elias in the middle and Bethan at the front with the two youngest, everyone stood in place.
Tom took several shots before Gwenna pointed out, “Louisa’s not here, and we need a photo with you in it, Tom.”
Janie scurried off to find Louisa, while Gwenna ran next door to ask Hugh to join them. He would be able to use the camera as well as anyone, Tom assured her. When Gwenna and Hugh returned, Janie had placed Louisa in front of her on a lower step and firmly rested her hands on her sister’s shoulders. Louisa’s face was a little puffy, but it wouldn’t matter in time to come. The important fact was she was there. Janie whispered something in her ear and Louisa’s lips flickered into a small smile.
Tom took a few moments to tell Hugh how to operate the camera. “And don’t worry when you see us all standing on our heads through this viewfinder. You will see the image upside down, but it prints the right way up. Clever, isn’t it?” Tom placed himself in the group. “Smile, everyone.”
